I pulled the blankets higher over my head when I heard a heavy knock on my door.
I didn't want to talk to anyone. I had caused my parents to divorce. What kind of awful daughter am I? I couldn't even look my brother in the eye right now. He knew it was my fault, I ruined our family.
"Ella, open the door." My brother said and knocked again.
I covered my head with one of my pillows hoping he would go away. He should get the message. I obviously didn't want to talk right now.
"Ella," Jackson said slowly. "I'm going to just barge in if you don't answer."
I tried to urge myself to move, if only to lock my door, but my body was stuck under my covers. I just groaned softly wishing more than anything that he would just leave.
"I'm coming in." My door swing open and I only sunk further into my bed.
Why couldn't he just leave me alone?
I felt the weight shift on my bed and his legs knocked against mine. Of course he was just going to push his way into my bed and probably sit there until I decided to talk to him. He could seriously be so annoying sometimes.
"You want to come out of your covers?" He nudged my leg with his.
I rolled over so my back was facing him. I just wanted him to leave.
"Ella I'm not leaving until you talk to me." He was being stubborn.
"Go away." I shot my foot back and kicked him.
"Let me just get comfortable now since this seems like it's going to take awhile." He grabbed the pillow off of my face and fluffed it up behind his back.
I finally got a good look at him as he propped himself up against the foot of my bed.
"I was using that." I mumbled.
Jackson just shrugged.
I curled back up under my covers and pulled the blanket half way up my face. Just because he took the pillow I was hiding under didn't mean I wouldn't replace it with my comforter.
"You can't hide forever." Jack pulled on the blanket just enough that it slid off my face and I wasn't hidden anymore.
"When will you get the message that I don't want to talk to you?" I frowned.
"I think I've already gotten it but I'm choosing to ignore it."
"Can you just not be annoying for like once in your life and just leave me alone." I complained.
"You're too nice to me sometimes." He chuckled.
I groaned and grabbed another pillow to put over my face.
Can he seriously just leave? I obviously didn't want to talk to him. I didn't know how to make myself any clearer.
Just like the other pillow he yanked it off my face and used it to prop himself up more. I was getting frustrated, I just wanted to be left alone.
"Can you please just leave?" I sighed.
"Not until you talk to me." He shook his head.
"Then I guess you'll be here for awhile." I frowned.
I just glared at him hoping that maybe he'd leave.
He didn't.
Jackson had stopped talking he just sat there waiting for me to come around. He laid his head back on one of the pillows he stole from me and made himself comfortable.
This called for more severe measures. I propped myself up and started kicking.
The second my foot made contact with his leg, his head shot up and he just stared at me.
"Really?" He asked.
I just ignored him and kept kicking.
His hand went and grabbed my leg stopping it where it was. He was much stronger than I was and it was easy for him to stop my attacks.
"Ella please just stop and talk to me." He sighed.
He was getting frustrated. He just wanted to try and help me but I didn't want help right now. I just wanted to sulk in bed until things changed or I didn't feel so shitty.
"What do you want me to say Jackson? That I'm sorry? That I'm the reason our parents are getting a divorce?" I snapped.
I was sick of him trying to get me to talk. This wasn't going to be some nice talk that would fix everything because I had already ruined it all.
"Ella you got to know that it is not your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."
I heard what he said but the only problem was that I didn't believe him. I knew what my mom had said and I knew all the things I had said to her before I left. I knew the truth and maybe Jackson was trying to protect me from that but he couldn't. The guilt was already eating me alive.
"Really? Because I heard what mom said. There was no mistaking that they decided on splitting up after I talked to her."
"Ok maybe hearing it from you made it so she could see that it wasn't just affecting her and dad. Their relationship was destroying this family. You are not the reason they can't get along or are absolutely miserable together. But you are probably the reason they haven't separated until now. They stayed together for us and now they have seen the mistake that was and are trying to do the right thing. Do you really want everything to stay how it was?"
I knew what he was saying was completely reasonable. I couldn't deny that but at the same time the voice in my head that was saying that I was the reason for tearing the family apart was currently winning.
I didn't have anything to say back to him. I didn't want to argue with my brother so I just stayed silent.
"I know how much dad not being around affected you. I saw how upset you were when he went away for business on Christmas. It's going to be an adjustment but you have to know that it is the right decision." He just sighed.
I knew he was right. I was crushed every time my dad ditched holidays and dinners. I held out hope that maybe one day they would just magically get along and we would be a happy family but that wasn't how life worked.
"I don't know what else I can say but I hope you know that it's wasn't your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself."
I felt the weight of the bed shift again as he stood up. I listened as he walked out and shut the door behind him.
Finally I was alone again, and instead of feeling relief that he finally left I just felt empty.
A/n:
Yup I'm the worst. I missed the Saturday upload but I'm trying my best to get these chapters up but I just got back to school and I've been busy and stressed. I'm going to try my best to get the last couple chapters written and out. It'll be sad to be done with this story but I think I'm ready.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did don't forget to comment and vote:
-Cora Leigh