To the one I loved the most

After You

I am noticing the aftermath now
I am up and over the mountain but now I see
The ruins that lay in my path ahead
I used to be so open with everyone
Showing my humor and my carefree spirit
But now it seems my encounter with you
Has caused me to shut down and shut out
Any new potential lover that comes my way
I remember thinking,
"At least I had the ability to love without holding back," But now it seems I can not pull myself
From the magnet of safety and comfort
That I am now so attracted to
It seems that now I don't know myself
And I realize I am no longer as goofy
As I used to be
I realize my love for you was a double edged sword
that has not only cut you out of my life
But has cut up all that I thought I was
Now I don't know what to say to him
When he tells me he wants to be with me
I don't know how to be myself
Because I don't know who myself is