A/N--I'm very sorry at to how long it took for me to get this uploaded, but here it is! I hope you like it :)
It's pretty effortless to spot Fred once we get to the billiards hall downtown. He's leaning against the bar, looking like he'll fall over if it wasn't there to support him, and currently he's going sans-shirt. I've seen him for five seconds and I already know that he is completely and totally gone. And he's been asking for me.
Fucking awesome.
Ethan's hand tightens around mine as I make my way through the crowd of drunken men, some laughing loudly and sipping on their beers, while some pile around the green pool tables. I've been in this place just once, right after the four of us started hanging out, and honestly...it's still just as intimidating. All of the guys are middle-aged, looking like they could have wives and kids back home or something, and here I am...a tiny nineteen-year-old girl.
Jesse notices me the closer we get, his eyes widening in relief. He then leans in towards Fred and I watch on as he tells him, "Time to get up, man. Hallie's here."
By the time that information sinks into Fred's head, Ethan and I are already standing in front of him, Ethan tucked behind me. It's not that I doubt Ethan or anything; I know he'd crush Fred in a fight based on size alone, but I do know that it'll be best to keep Fred happy right now. He's going to be pissed when he sees Ethan, I know he is.
"Halliieee...." he slurs, a goofy grin touching his lips. He picks himself off of the bar and starts to head towards me, his bare arms completely wide so that I can give him a hug, but before he moves two steps he's already stumbled to the side. Jesse reaches out towards him effortlessly, probably already having predicted that, and makes sure to steady him on his feet.
After giving Ethan's hand a reassuring squeeze, I let it go and then take a couple steps towards Fred, grabbing onto his arm so that he can't fall. Fred smiles at the fact that I'm touching him, and takes a baby step towards me before saying, "You're so pretty Hallliieee....hahaha! Your name rhymes with pretty, Hallie!"
"Good Lord," I mutter to myself, wondering for just a brief moment if I say stuff like that when I've been drinking. Or if my breath smells that rancid. My God, his breath smells absolutely terrible. "That's awesome, but look...I'm going to take you home alright? We need to go."
"But I don't wanna go back," he pouts, giving me one of the most pitiful puppy dog looks I've ever seen in my life. "You're here...you're not there."
Is he really this hung up on me? I never would have guessed that he'd like me at all, let alone this much. How have I not seen this? Would I have gone on completely oblivious had Ethan not pointed it out? Shaking my head, I tell Fred, "I'll be there; I'm going to drive you there, alright?"
"But," he tries to take another step closer to me, but he stumbles once again, this time falling like a log towards me. I manage to grab him before he flattens us to the floor, but Ethan is obviously not happy at how close Fred now is to me.
He comes from behind me and then grabs at Fred's other arm, telling him, "We're going to bring you to the car, okay?"
"Who invited you?!" Fred demands loudly, attracting just a bit of attention from the bar tender. "Hallie, get your boy toy away from here. He's not fucking wanted."
Jesse, apparently just realizing that Ethan's here with me and the situation that's starting to arise, looks at me with a mixture of incredulousness and stupidity. "You thought bringing him here was a good idea? Obviously it was just going to piss Fred off."
"Shut the hell up, Jesse," I tell him harshly. "We're only here 'cause you couldn't do this yourself. Now could you please help?"
He shakes his head at me, still looking pissed that I've brought Ethan here with me. He says, "Fred's in love with you Hals, and you're just going to throw your boyfriend in his face?"
What? Fred's in...he's in love with me? No. That just can't, that can't be true. No way. He's only liked me for a month or so, right? Ever since Ethan came around? You can't love someone in that short amount of time. Not that I know of anyway.
The force of Jesse's words hits me like a ton of bricks. Jesse's definitely not a romantic kind of guy, so for him to throw around the L word is kind of a big deal. A really big deal. So...so obviously Fred's newfound infatuation for me isn't quite so newfound.
I'm still lost in my thoughts when I hear Ethan break through the tense atmosphere and say, "This is not the time or place to be talking about this. Can we just get this guy into a bed?"
"I wanna be in a bed with Hallie," Fred giggles, before letting his drunken eyes slowly rake over my body in a way that leaves me feeling just a bit violated.
Ethan's eyes flash in anger, an anger I've never seen come from him, before he says to Fred, "Don't say shit like that to her, got it?"
If it were any other time and place, I probably would have gotten a very satisfied and warm feeling from hearing him be so protective over me, but the stress coming from the situation is really starting to get to me. Jesse's pissed, and now so is Ethan, and then we've got an extremely intoxicated Fred who is starting to make crude comments towards me.
I'm not good in situations like this, and I can feel myself slowly starting to panic.
Fred says, "Don't...don't tell me what to do. You're such an ass hole, thinking you're all cool 'cause you...'cause you play guitar and whatnot. Hallie will realize we're meant to be, you just wait."
"Fred," I say sharply, making his head snap towards me. Well, not snap really. It kind of lulls over to me, but whatever. But once I know I've gotten his attention, I tell him, "Stop talking to Ethan. Now I'm going to get you and we're going to walk to the car, okay?"
"I'll go," he says breezily, the corners of his lips tugging upwards as if he's thinking something all smart. "But...you have to kiss me first."
"No," I answer quickly, instinctively. Is he absolutely insane? I'm here with my boyfriend, who, judging by how he's dropped his grip on Fred and instead moved in front of him, looking absolutely furious, isn't too happy with Fred's clause. Shit, if some drunken girl was begging Ethan for a kiss, I probably would have beat the hell out of her, and I'm not even a violent person. I just...I can't even picture Ethan kissing someone else without seeing red.
Fred chuckles, looking completely happy with himself even though he's got a guy who probably weighs about fifty pounds more standing in front of him, probably trying to keep himself from snapping his neck. He says, "Well sorry babe, but that's my...that's my condition. No kiss, no leave!"
Ethan takes a step closer to Fred, his fists white with rage, and I know that he's about five seconds way from snapping. My heart pounding in my chest, I close the distance between myself and the three guys, and then take a hold of Ethan's arm, attempting to pull him away from the drama. He doesn't budge at first, his feet seeming to have been cemented to the ground beneath them, but when I pull a bit harder at him, he reluctantly moves away.
Knowing that I'll have to calm him down before even dreaming of conquering this whole thing, I turn my back to Fred and Jesse and then concentrate on my fuming boyfriend. He's not looking at me, his eyes locked onto the boy behind me. So with trembling hands I reach up and cup his cheeks, forcing him to break eye contact from Fred and switch it onto me.
His eyes immediately cool down, but they're still a bit scary. I've never seen him so livid, so out of control, and I'm not going to lie-it scares the shit out of me. Rubbing my fingertips on the smooth skin of his cheeks, I tell him, "You need to cool down, okay? I have it all...I have it all situated."
"Are you going to kiss him?" he asks, his voice a bit harsher than I would like. But I know where the anger's coming from, and I honestly cannot blame him for it. I'd be pissed if I was in his situation too.
"Of course not," I tell him obviously, "I wouldn't do that. But I'm going to have to be a bit nicer if I want to get him out of here."
"Why can't Jesse just knock him out and carry him home?"
I almost want to laugh at his words. Ethan's always been so mature and calm about things, so to hear him talk about knocking people out is a bit like seeing a fish out of water. I say " 'Cause that's just not possible. Now can you go wait out by the car, please? We'll need help getting him in there."
His eyes flash from mine to look behind me, where I can barely hear Jesse telling Fred that he needs to chill out, and then after a minute or so, he reluctantly drags them back to me. He says, "Fine. But I swear to God, Hallie...please don't kiss him."
"Don't worry," I tell him as convincingly as possible, hoping that he'll hear the sincerity in my voice and trust it.
It obviously settles in his head that he should trust me, and in just mere moments he's turned away from me and headed out of the back door. Taking a deep breath because I'm now feeling just a bit too exposed for my liking, I turn back around and then head on over the bickering boys. Fred looks up at me as soon as I walk up, his face resembling a happy puppy far too much.
Figuring that I might as well do this while he's actually happy, I grab onto his hand and tell him slowly, "We need to go, Fred. 'Kay?"
"You haven't kissed me yet," he drawls, his head starting to droop just a little bit.
I grimace, not all too keen on the fact that he's actually remembered his request. Figuring that there has to be some way out of this, I tell him, "I'll kiss you when we get to the car," knowing that the biggest hurdle is getting him to walk outside. Once he's by the car, I'm sure Jesse and Ethan can lift him and just toss him in.
"I want my kiss now," he demands, making a little bit of anxiety start to kick in. He's really not going to leave unless I kiss him, which is starting to make me panic. Ethan will be hurt if I kiss Fred, and I really don't want it to start a fight, not when I only have a month or so left with him. I want the days leading up to the tour to be happy, not sad or with him upset at me.
But Fred has to leave...he's making a complete ass out of himself.
It's then that I realize Jesse has saddled up next to me, his sober presence the only thing keeping me from freaking out. At least I don't have to deal with a demanding and drunk Fred alone. He says quietly, to where I can barely hear him, "Just kiss him on the cheek for fuck's sake."
Ethan couldn't be mad about a kiss on the cheek, right? He knows I don't like Fred anyways, he saw the mental breakdown I had when I found out he merely liked me.
"Come 'ere Fred," I tell him, reaching out with my hand and grabbing his wrist.
His eyes light up when he realizes he's about to get his kiss, so he stumbles over to me and then puckers his lips, leaning in towards me. I don't know why my heart is pounding about this; over a stupid cheek kiss, but for some reason my stomach is just churning away in nerves. I hate it. I don't want to have any reaction to just kissing him on the cheek.
I lean and swiftly press a quick kiss against his cheek, pulling away so fast that he doesn't have any time to try and turn his lips to mine. After pulling away and looking at him, his face dramatically crestfallen because he didn't get his kiss, I tell him softly, "We need to go now, Fred."
"Fine," he grumbles surprisingly easily, thank God. I was halfway worried that he'd make us stay there until he got a real kiss.
Ten frustrating minutes later we're pushing him into Jesse's car, him being extremely pouty and whiney about everything. It hurts to hear him so upset, even though he is drunk as shit. Drunken words speak sober thoughts and all of that, so I know that he means some of the things he's saying, which I really don't like.
I go to shut the back door to Jesse's car, but am stopped short by Fred leaning over on the seat, one inch away from face planting onto the worn leather seats. "Hallie," he says hoarsely, his potent breath making a quick one-over on my nostrils.
"What, Fred?" I ask him, acutely aware of Ethan's eyes as they watch over us from where he's standing further into the rundown parking lot.
He says, "I kind of...I think...I really think you're beautiful. I, I really do...and I...I...I love you. Okay?"
The sincerity of his words, even though they're spoken in a drunken slur, hit me hard. Not a person this world other than family has said that they love me and so hearing it from one of my best friends as he's practically got tears in his eyes makes my stomach turn over. Fred is not an emotional guy, not even close to it, honestly. When his mom cheated on his dad a few years ago he jokingly called her a bitch-whore and that was it.
God, I've never even heard him tell Jeanie he loves her.
And right now his green eyes are so open and so vulnerable that I can't help but just want to reach in that car and hug him and tell him that even though I don't love him back in that way, that I still love him as a friend. No matter how badly he's treated me while I've been with Ethan; he was still really good to me before that. He's babysat me when I was super drunk; he's held my hair up while I was puking after a pretty difficult night. He's come over and danced with me when no other guy would.
I do love him.
Just not like he loves me.
So with my throat burning with tears, I nod at Fred and say, "Ok Fred. Jesse's gonna get you home now."
"Mmk," he slurs before dropping his body onto the seats, curling his arms up and placing his head in the empty space.
After shutting the door and watching the two of them drive off, I can't help it anymore. Tears start sprinkling onto my cheeks, my stomach feeling like it's been punched. I had no idea that hearing him actually confess to me would make me so emotional, but I just can't help it. He's Fred...he's one of my best friends. He's a really good guy when he's not jealous of my boyfriend.
And he loves me but I can't return the favor and love him back.
Because, as I look up from the pavement and see Ethan slowly walking over to me, his hands pushed deep into the confines of his Levis pockets, I realize that I love someone else.