Chapter 47: Free
April
Ain't no feeling like being free
When your mind's made up
And your heart's in the right place
Ain't no feeling like being free
When you've done all you could
But what's misunderstood
It's all good, it's all good
Ain't no feeling like being free
I'm like an eagle set free
And finally I'm looking out for me
Ain't no feeling like being free
Cause my mind's up
And my heart is in the right place
[Free: Destiny's Child]
1 Month Later...
After talking to her uncle and her first love Twin it seemed like the month had flew right on by. Writing in her journal, reading her bible, morning runs, meditating, cleansing, and just having fun April was feeling rejuvenated, relaxed, and brand spanking new. Her mental was right where she needed it to be. She was focused, focused solely on herself for once. Physically she felt and looked her best. Her body felt off at times but she was still looking right and she felt like she could breathe so much better like the air was lighter and more crisp. She felt one with God. Of course April knew God existed and she also went to church every once in a blue but now she felt like she was spiritually connected to him.
She knew that he had been taking her on a wild journey to get back right with not only him but her-self. She knew she didn't actually have to go to church every Sunday but she had to let him fully back into her life and accept that he was not trying to steer her wrong but to steer her back to completion. April was one with her emotions. It was like she finally felt solace and one with herself. Everything was going to be fine and everything was fine. She had finally accepted that she and Dave were no more and probably would never be and guess what. April was absolutely fine with that.
Men were like buses they came and went every ten minutes and there were certainly more fish in the deep blue sea. She just had to give them a chance. April accepted that and she was cool with it. She was going to continue living her best life and whatever man God chose to send her way she would be there to accept her blessing with open arms.
It was only three things rather two people well three but one she was holding off until the right time on her agenda that she needed to deal with and after she dealt with them she was wiping her hands clean and moving on with her life. April was determined to live her best life, love herself, and have happiness no matter what. Here she was back on her private jet with the look of determination and one thing or person on her mind. She wanted to deal with this person ASAP and in person. Picking up her cell phone she sent a quick text before the jet took flight.
Future👰🏾🤱🏾💍: I get back to the states in a few hours. If you still want to talk you can stop by my place later today. If not today then some time tomorrow any time after that I won't have the time to talk
🖕🏾East: Sure I can slide through around 8
Future👰🏾🤱🏾💍: Ok
Right after she sent the text April turned off her phone until it was safe to turn it back on again. As soon as it was safe to turn it back on she picked it up and called her father.
He answered on the third ring. "Peanut" Ian answered with his voice filled with excitement. April knew that he along with her mother had missed her and couldn't wait to see her. She made a mental note to visit them first thing in the morning. Besides she needed to catch up with her father anyway. They had some business to discuss.
April smiled. "Hey daddy just letting you know I'm on the jet and on my way home"
"Good, good mommy and me can't wait to see you" She knew he was smiling.
"Same here I miss you guys"
"I know what you really called for and yes I'm on it and been on it" Ian answered without her having to ask. "We'll discuss everything tomorrow"
April laughed a little. "Thanks daddy well I'm a get a head start on some of my work and when I land I'll call or text ya to let you know I made it home"
"Ok Peanut have a safe flight. We love you"
"Love you guys too. Give mommy a kiss for me"
"Will do...later Peanut"
"Later daddy" April hung up. As soon as she hung up she turned on her MacBook Pro and got to work. She wanted to be on point when she walked into her office bright and early Monday morning. She had quite a lot to catch up on. Just because she wasn't there didn't mean that work stopped. "Yes Unkie" she looked up from her laptop focusing on her uncle feeling his eyes on her as if he was observing her which he was.
"Nothing just looking at you Jamaica got you glowing" he eyed her giving her a look like he had more to say but wasn't going to say anything. It felt like he was looking, looking at her like he knew something she didn't.
"Well I feel like its done wonders for me. I feel good. No I feel great"
"That it did" he nodded his head agreeing with her. He had been there to see all of her progress. Ny'Reek was not only proud of her but he was also happy that she had found happiness within herself.
"It looks like you have more on ya mind though. Care to share? I can take a quick break" April gave him her full attention.
"Nah you good finish working. I know you have a lot to catch up on" he replied.
"You sure" she questioned with her brow raised. If he wanted to talk she would gladly stop what she was doing and give him her full attention.
"I'm sure shorty doo wop do ya thing"
"Ok" she nodded and went back to work as she adjusted her glasses on her face.
Two hours into the flight April started to feel queasy. April quickly clasped her hand over her mouth and jumped up from her seat racing to the bathroom. As soon as she made it to the toilet she was on the floor puking up everything she had eaten that morning and possibly last night.
"Baby girl you aight" her uncle asked as he cautiously walked into the bathroom looking at her worried. April looked up at him and shook her head no as her eyes teared up and just like that her head was right back over the toilet throwing up again.
Ny'Reek knelt down beside her, rubbed her back, and stayed right by her side until she was done. Once she was done he got up, grabbed a fresh wash rag and wet it with cold water, folded it then pulled April into his arms placing the dampened rag across her forehead, and gently rocked her back and forth. As soon as she calmed down he got the flight attendant to fetch April a warm ginger ale. Once her stomach was settled and she felt ok April brushed her teeth, went and turned off her laptop, and went straight to her bedroom to hopefully get some sleep for the remainder of the flight home. Three hours later she was finally back in Jersey and headed straight home. She couldn't wait to get home and hop into her own bed. This had been the suckiest flight she had ever encountered.
"Shorty doo wop you gonna be ok in here by ya self" Ny'Reek asked her as he put the last of her luggage down in her bedroom.
"I'll be fine. It's probably a bug or the food I ate. I'm gonna make some soup and stay in bed for the rest of the day. Thanks for taking care of me"
"Don't worry bout it baby girl you know Unc always got you" he hugged her and kissed her forehead.
"I know" she gave him a small smile.
A few minutes later he was out the door and locking up behind himself because yes he too had a key and knew the password to the alarm for her place. April still felt like shit so she brushed her teeth again, took a much needed hot bath and shower, and put on an onsie after she was finished. She didn't even bother to eat. April just hopped in the bed, got comfortable, and waited for her guest to arrive.
*******
8 o'clock on the dot April's doorbell was ringing and she was hopping out of bed to answer the door.
"Who is it" April asked and yawned feeling nauseous all over again but she was trying so hard to keep it together.
"Dave" he replied with that deep Harlem accent.
April unlocked the door then moved to the side to let him inside making sure to close and lock the door behind him. She didn't even bother to look at or greet him. "Follow me" she headed towards the living room with Dave trailing behind her. As soon as she went to sit down she abruptly stopped, clasped her hand over her mouth, and ran to the nearest bathroom just barely making it to the toilet. April was holding onto it for dear life as she emptied her stomach for what seemed like the hundredth time today.
"Aye ma you aight" Dave asked as he knelt down beside her, pulled her two cornrows behind her, and rubbed her back. April was a little mad that he had to see her fucked down.
"I'm good. I'm ok" April pulled away from him as she managed to get out before her head was back in the toilet throwing up nothing at this point. Dave sat beside her until she was completely done. "Thank you" she glanced at him as she flushed the toilet and carefully stood up then went to the sink to brush her teeth.
"No problem I'll be in the living room" he looked at her through the mirror and walked out.
April brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face. All she could think is that she overdosed on the jerk chicken and shrimp and everything else jerk the night before and finished off this morning. Once she got herself together she grabbed a bottle of water out of the kitchen pantry and made her way to the living room. As soon as she stepped foot in the living room Dave's eyes were on her like a hawk.
"Sorry you had to see all that. I over did it with all the jerk food last night and this morning" she said as she took a seat on the opposite couch, got comfortable, and opened her water. Dave just looked at her slowly moving his head from side to side observing her just like her uncle had done earlier.
"You sure you good ma" he questioned concerned.
"Yea" April replied and shrugged. "I been like this all day but that's neither here or there. By the way please don't call me ma. That's no longer my title. That title has been filled by someone else that ain't me. Any, who I called you over so we could finally hash shit out and go on with our lives" April said as she finally looked at him and wished she hadn't.
Dave was looking daddyish as usual. Fresh line up, fresh straight backs, beard trimmed and looked to be filling in Dave was looking damn good. He was dressed in a pair of brown Carhartt overalls, a red and black long sleeve Carhartt shirt with a matching brown Carhartt skully meanwhile April was dressed in a damn SpongeBob onesie. The smell of him lit up her senses. She still loved the scent of him. The scent of him was one of weed, cocoa butter, and Versace cologne. It was one of her favorite smells. April shook her head and absentmindly licked and bit down on her bottom lip. They both looked each other over before Dave cleared his throat.
"How have you been" he asked.
"Can we skip the formalities? I just want to get this shit over and done with" April replied.
"Say less" he raised his hands. "What's on ya mind" he questioned.
"For starters I hate what has become of us. We spent months and months on end getting to know each other and building a foundation. We were claiming each other way before there was even a proper title. We were pretty much a couple before you even asked me to be ya woman. Late night phone calls, texts, falling asleep on the phone, you staying at my place and me at yours we did it all. I cried on ya shoulders and in ya arms. I let you in. I told you things that very few people only knew. I confided in you and gave myself to you emotionally for all that shit to blow up in my face. I wasted my precious time on bullshit" she smacked her lips but kept talking. April had a lot to get off her chest.
"I let you melt away all the ice and sadness from my heart. I even told you that I couldn't afford another heart break but I guess that was inevitable because I fell for you and you broke my heart. I told you bout my ex and everything we been through and time after time you told me you weren't going anywhere and you weren't leaving but look at us now. We aren't together. We didn't even last a full weekend. Granted I ended things so I know it's partially my fault but you didn't even attempt to fight for me at all. You just let me walk away. I wanted you to fight. I needed you to fight for me but you didn't. If you would've fought I would've stayed no matter the outcome even when I knew we wouldn't have lasted" April said as she kept her eyes on him.
She needed to make sure he was hearing and taking heed to everything she said. This shit was like a repeat of talking to Chris and that shit annoyed her. Dave was supposed to be different. Yes they're relationship was different but it still sounded the same. She had shared some of the same words with Chris. Nonetheless April was very proud of herself. No tears were in sight and she didn't feel the need to cry. April was all cried out. All she wanted was closure so she could continue on the path she was on.
She still wasn't done. "If I'd a known what I know now I would've only be in it for the dick and that's all. Not to mention I didn't even sample the dick. I don't know what the shit looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like, no nothing. At this point you could be uncircumcised and I wouldn't know. But sadly it's my fault. I let you into my world, let you into my heart, and you found your way into my soul and for what. We aren't even friends anymore. You came into my life, shook up my world, and left me" she spoke everything that she felt making sure not to sugar coat a damn thing. April wanted Dave to know what he did to her.
Dave couldn't even look at her. He looked down and deeply sighed. "I can't say sorry enough" he looked at her. "I know sorry doesn't mean much but I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. I never meant to play with your feelings and make you feel a way. I never meant to make you feel anything but love and happiness but I fucked up. You were right I did have a soft spot for Millie but I also love my child enough to try and work on my family for her and to also work on it for myself. I wanted me and you to work so bad but I let her back in when I should've left her where she was because at the end of the day it wasn't worth losing you" he spoke.
"Bullshit David" she exclaimed and started pointing at him. "I asked you countless times did I need to be worried bout her. Did you still have feelings for her? Did you want to work it out with her and time and time again you told me no and that I was ya only focus. You could've been a hunnid with me from jump because I laid everything out on the table for you. I would've walked away if you kept it real with me. I told you that the first time we ever kicked it. I would've understood and let you be" April rolled her eyes. She was mad they even had to have this type of conversation.
"You had me meet this bitch face to face and play 21 questions with her as if I was a gotdamn job interview. Let's not forget bout the shade she was throwing and how she low key threatened me. She showed her ass for two days claiming she wanted you and her so-called family back and you drunk the juice. I was ya woman for all of what 48 to 72 hours and just like that the shit was over. You don't even know half the bullshit I went through for even fuckin with you. My relationship with my so-called brother Trey hasn't been the same since he found out me and you were fuckin around. You had niggas questioning my loyalty" April snapped thinking about everything that went down that weekend. The shit was a fuckin shit show.
Dave leaned back against the couch and wiped his hands over his face like he normally did when he was feeling some type of way or trying to calm himself down. "I don't know what to say but sorry. I didn't want to be with her but she was persistant. She seemed to finally get to a place where I always wanted her to be. If I knew this was going to play out the way that it did I would've never wasted ya time and led you on. That was never my intentions. I feel like shit to be honest but you called it quits. You told me to give her another chance and I did"
Before he could even finish his sentence April interrupted him. "Can you imagine coming home and literally rushing to ya significant other's house after finally getting closure from an ain't shit ex only to find said significant other's baby mama dressed in his clothing looking like she just got fucked and fucked good. Granted I knew ya ass wasn't stupid enough to sleep with her but you put the battery pack in her back by bringing her back to your home. You got a driver, Bully, and Shooter. Shit yourself! Anyone of them including you could've taken her ass home yet you brought her back to the same place you knew I was coming. The same place I was rushing to. It's like you wanted me to see her there to give me a reason to leave and stop fuckin with you" she admitted.
April felt like Dave had brought Millie over to his place for a reason. Maybe he didn't want to be with her anymore since Millie was finally paying him attention so him having Millie there was his way of getting out of the relationship. Like instead of breaking up with her he gave her the opportunity to get rid of him first.
Dave sighed. "That's where I fucked up. I should've never let her ass into VIP let alone bought her back to my place. If that would've been me and Chris was opening ya door like y'all had just fucked I'd a lost my shit too so I understand why you were mad even if I had the right intentions. I wasn't thinking. I really wanted to be there for you but I helped fuck us up"
"You're a walking contradiction. You still can't chose between us two when you already know who you want be with but trust I'm not asking you to choose by any means. I'm done I'm not interested but it sounds like you don't know what you really want. It's like you're saying one thing then the next it's the other. It's me or her but at this point I can honestly say that I. Don't. Care" April shrugged because she really didn't care. Over the month she had been in Jamaica April had mourned the loss of their failed relationship and washed her hands with it. She was good.
"David you put me on a pedestal and made me feel like you were my end game like I was ya treasure. You made me feel special. You were there for me, loved on me, cared for me, respected me, and most importantly you were my friend. You made me feel happy, alive, wanted, needed, and just like that you pulled the rug from right underneath me without any warning. That weekend was the shittiest weekend I've had in a very long while and all I could think bout was making it back home to you because if nobody had my back I knew for a fact that you did. At least I thought you did. You talked a good game Brewster but that's all it was...just a game" she said as her leg shook. April was trying to keep cool.
"I was waiting for you to make it back to me. I kept telling you I couldn't wait for you to come home but I never saw it going down the way that it did and I played a big part in that. I put you on a pedestal because you belong on a pedestal. Everything I told you was all facts just because shit didn't pan out the way we expected doesn't mean that shit changes. You are everything I said you are" Dave leaned forward and spoke. "You are beautiful inside and out, loyal, caring, and intelligent, humble, funny, bold, and so much more. You are still everything I want and need in a woman but right now I can't be that man for you. It was never a game for me. It wasn't my intentions to play you. I wanted you and all of you"
April shrugged her shoulders. "Welp that's not the way I felt afterwards but its whatever right bout now. I'm living my best life. It was so much I wanted and needed to say to you when I got back"
"Then tell me now" Dave cut her off.
"What's the point" she asked and sucked her teeth.
"I need to know"
April chuckled. "There's no point in telling you any of my business when we aren't together or even friends. You already know too much of my business as it is"
"Being on ya shit list is not the wave" he grumbled and wiped his hands over his face.
April looked at him and laughed. "It sucks to be you"
"It does" he mumbled loud enough for her to hear.
"You wouldn't be on my shit list if you would've told me what it was from jump. We could've just been friends. You could've gotten some Grade A pussy and I could've been riding that dick into the sunset. We could've been cuddy buddies with no strings attatched but hey it is what it is. We tried it. It didn't last and now we both have to live with it. Unlike you I finally made peace with it. I've been dating myself and it feels good to focus solely on me and my needs. Maybe you should hang up the pipe dream you got and focus on ya self. But hey let me mind my business" she looked at him and sipped on her water.
"Well damn say it with ya chest" Dave said and mugged her.
April raised her hands. "You already know what it is. I'm not bout to sugar coat shit to make you feel good. Any, who we need to talk bout Agnes"
Dave burst out laughing. "I'm mad you still calling her that"
"She got an old ass auntie face. I can't speak on her soul though but that's her name and I'm sticking to it" April shrugged nonchalantly. She could give two fucks how he felt about her calling Millie Agnes especially not after all the shit she said about her.
"I already handled that. Yet it looks like she still seems to be causing more harm than good and honestly it isn't a good look and I ain't feeling the shit"
"You've been handling that shit since this shit started. Obviously you aren't doing a good job at putting ya mutt on a leash. She can't be tamed. She's got loose lips and it's not a good look for her or you. After everything I said she still puts out lil shit here and there. The shit she says is ridiculous and whether you like it or not it reflects you because you are her man. It can't be good for business. Like I said I'm done playing nice. I'm done letting her talk and I'm damn sure done with the disrespect. I'm done tolerating bullshit. I like to think that I'm a nice person. I live my life. I don't bother anybody. I stay to myself. I even rekindle families for free and yet bitches still can't be happy" April shook her head laughing. Agnes ass was a piece of fuckin work. The jealousy in Millie was too damn real.
April kept going. "I know for a fact that Agnes would be happy if she truly wanted to be with you but let's be honest she's only into you because she saw you happy with me. Her miserable ass doesn't want to see you happy. Just like I know you ain't happy. You haven't been happy since we been together. You don't even smile the way you use to unless it's just you and ya lil girl but that's neither here or there. That isn't my problem anymore. Ya happiness and how you feel is no longer my problem. It doesn't concern me. I just want closure and to give you fair warning that I'm done playing nice when it comes to ya girl and YES David you can take that any way you want" April looked dead at Dave.
Like she said she was done being nice and keeping her mouth shut. If his bitch wanted to walk around with a battery in her back then she needed to be ready for a real bitch who needed no charge. There were no batteries included when it came to April. She didn't require batteries to feed her bravery nor a big bowl of Wheaties to do shit. April owed her an ass whooping and she was damn sure about to receive it.
"Look I know you feel some type of way and you should but she's still my girl. She said some foul shit and yea it was fucked up but I can't sit here and let you threaten her like that. I said I handled it" April looked at him and shook her head in disbelief. His ass couldn't be serious. After everything that went down between the two of them he really expected her not to do shit. Child bye April was with the fucks and didn't care how he felt about it.
April looked at him and bust out laughing. "You know what fuck you East! Go ahead and fight for ya Queen. I love the energy. I wish you'd a had the same for me. You know how this shit works. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Ya bitch is in the wrong and it seems like you must've forgotten who the fuck you was fuckin with but in case you forgot let me remind you. The only reason why nothing has been done to ya bitch is because I didn't want to cause you and ya lil girl no pain. Remember I told you that but after that shit she posted bout me not being able to keep a man or have kids I changed my mind because obviously she doesn't care bout you or y'all lil girl or her fuckin miserable ass life. But most importantly the real reason why nothing has been done is because I've been out the states for a month but guess what. I'm back now" April cheesed like the Cheshire cat.
"Let me remind you that you ain't my nigga and you ain't my fuckin friend. My loyalty doesn't lie with you anymore. Tell ya bitch to keep my name out of her mouth. Oops" April covered her mouth. "My bad she still ain't brave enough to at me to let me know its real. But hey I still owe her an ass whooping and I'm coming to collect" April stood up with her eyes never leaving his. She was pissed the fuck off and fuming. She couldn't understand how he could defend a bitch like Agnes. How could he not see that he was fighting for the wrong team? For god's sake he didn't even want the bitch so why was he capping for her.
"Calm all that shit down. You know I'm not with the shit" Dave mugged her. April looked at him and smirked. Dave looked damn good when he was angry. If they were on good terms she'd toss whatever to the side and jump on him. Too bad too sad!
"Bye East" she laughed. At this point she was taunting him. "Like I said on New Years enjoy ya life. I got better things to do than waste more of my precious time arguing with you. You've been here before so you know ya way out"
"This how we doing shit right now" he stood up and stepped to her still mugging her. April knew he was mad but oh well. But damn she hated how close he was and how her body was betraying her but she wasn't going to show it. She wouldn't dare let him know that he still had any type of effect on her.
"Bruh just face it! You drunk the juice and didn't fight for who you wanted and still want. That's why ya ass so damn mad and unhappy. You let ya bitch talk bout me knowing damn well she ain't bout that life. The bitch ain't got a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of without you and that's what you ran back to. Not to mention for a woman throwing kids into an adult situation she should've checked her own motherhood before coming at me. The bitch ain't even a full time mother. Without you she wouldn't even be able to take care of ya child but she got all the mouth in the world. Bitch talking bout shit she don't know bout. If there wasn't any court appointed weekend visitations ya lil girl wouldn't even know her ass but ok. I rather not be able to have kids than to have them and only use them for a pay check and likes" April went all the way off. She wasn't letting Dave get any words in. She was going dumb hard on Millie's so-called motherhood. Bitch should be ashamed to call herself a mother let alone a fuckin parent.
"As for you nigga bye! You will never be happy with her and she will never be me not in the least. We all know that. You wake up and go to bed every night to the same bitch you despise. It must be nice" April laughed but wasn't shit funny. She was tearing Dave's ass to shreds too. "I didn't even give you the pussy and yet you still want this. You know what it is though" She shook her head she was ready for him to go. He was killing her vibe and she wanted no parts of that. She had come to far to slip into this type of bullshit.
"To think I even love ya ass" April mumbled to herself and turned her back towards him.
"You what" Dave asked perplexed as he placed his hand on her shoulder forgetting about how she just went in on him and his baby moms.
"You heard me! We talked. We said what we needed to say now it's time for you to go" April shrugged away from him. She didn't want him touching her let alone that close to her.
"April what did you just say" he turned her around searching her eyes. She knew what he was doing and that he had heard her.
"Can you just leave" April put her head down and sighed.
"April say it. I need to hear you say it" he looked at her helplessly.
"For what David" April shouted. "You aren't mines. You won't be mines. You made ya choice. I finally accepted that me and you just won't be. I've finally found happiness within myself. I don't need a man to be happy just like I don't need a man to love me. I love myself. I know what I bring to the table. I know my worth. I deserve first place not runner up. I'm not a second option for anyone" April spoke with so much fire.
"Damn it April just say it" Dave snapped and pleaded.
"I. Love. You. I love you David Lawrence Brewster Jr. Is that what you wanted to hear" April looked him dead in his eyes meaning every word. She felt good finally saying it out loud but too bad he wasn't hers to love. When she imagined saying those three simple yet powerful words that held so much meaning and so much weight she didn't picture saying them to him at a time like this...especially not the first time.
Dave stood in front of her with his eyes locked on hers as if he was looking deep into her soul. Knowing him he most certainly was. He was the only one capable of doing so.
He took a deep breath. "I love you too April Elegance Blackmon. I love you too" he gently cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead sighing in contentment like he had waited so long to get those three words off his chest.
"Now what"
_________________________________________
-Happy Reading hope you guys enjoy 😊
-Our good sis is back from Jamaica feeling brand new but y'all know what time it is 😁
-I don't even know what to say 😳 April just went IN like all the way IN!
-How do y'all feel about April and Dave's conversation 🧐
-Did our girl really just slip up like that and let those 3 words out?! Aww shit and Dave said them too 🤭
-Now what 🤔
-Any, who y'all know the drill..sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend..Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries 😊
-If you are reading and not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please and thank you 🥰