The days passed and Riley and I were just getting the hang of being parents. It wasn't easy at all being responsible for another life, but having the guys around really helped. They were all supportive in their own ways, always willing to help even when we didn't ask for it. We all made sure Riley was never pushing it too much when it came to her body. But she was stubborn.
I woke to the sound of Nathan crying. The crib had been moved back to the room. During the day, we had another for him in the living room, since the guys were so hellbent on having Nathan there to keep an eye on him.
I sat up slowly, sighing. He hardly ever cried, but he hardly ever slept, either, and it was hard for the rest of us to get some sleep knowing he was wide awake. Riley rised from her sleep like a pop-tart, already turning to get up off the bed to go see what Nathan needed.
"I've got him. Don't worry," I told her, turning and standing from the bed and wiping my eyes. I didn't exactly love getting up in the middle of the night, but I liked it even less when Riley did it.
I leaned over the crib and picked Nathan up in my arms, craddling his small head in my left hand. "What's up, little buddy?" I asked, noticing how groggy my voice way.
"Is he hungry?" Riley asked.
I shook my head and then realized that she could hardly see me. "I think he just needs a diaper change. Go back to sleep."
I took Nathan into the living room so that Riley could sleep and he wouldn't wake the guys and then changed his diaper. Once he was changed, he quieted down, only making babbling noises. I smiled down at him, feeling happy and spent all at once. I loved Nathan but he was certainly a handful.
I turned the TV set on and turned the volume down, sitting with Nathan in my arms, willing him to fall asleep. He looked up at me with innocent eyes, and I knew he wasn't about to go to sleep any time soon.
I heard shuffling behind me and knew that Riley had gotten up from bed. I turned to look at her, seeing how she was rubbing at her eyes and yawning as she walked.
"I told you to go to bed," I said to her. She was so stubborn.
"I couldn't. I felt bad," she told me.
I stood up and set Nathan in his crib, making sure to tuck him in and then I turned to Riley. I didn't know why I pitied her so much. Maybe it was because she was so young. Maybe it was because I knew she was vulnerable.
I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her on the cheek. "Are you alright? Why'd you feel bad?"
"I just feel like you're always the one who gets up in the middle of the night to take care of him. I don't know. I just felt bad about it."
"I do it because I want to. And I want you to stay in bed and get some sleep." I kissed her on the lips. "Now go back to sleep."
She looked up at me with big eyes, just like Nathan's. "I love you."
I smiled. "Go. I love you."
I turned her over and nudged her in the right direction then watched her disappear into the hall. When she had, I checked on Nathan again, seeing that he was still wide awake, but quiet. I knew he wouldn't fuss and would fall asleep eventually, so I walked over to the sofa and layed there, watching the TV screen blankly until I dove off into a deep sleep.
The following day I woke to the sound of shuffling nearby. When I opened my eyes, I saw Liam by the crib, reaching down to pick Nathan up.
He immediatelly noticed I'd woken and turned around, my son in his arms. "He was starting to complain and I didn't want him to wake you," he said, looking down at Nathan, who's face was scrunched up, ready to cry.
I sat up slowly, "Thanks. I appreciate it, really."
He nodded once and walked off with my now crying son into the kitchen. I was sure he was about to feed him, so I let him. I walked over to the room to see Riley was just waking up.
Her eyes pierced up into mine. She then realized it was morning and sat up quickly. "What time is it? Where's Nathan? Were you up all night?" she panicked, standing from the bed. "I'm so sorry."
I almost laughed at her. "Hey, calm down. Nathan's fine. He's with Liam."
"Did you sleep at all?"
"I slept on the couch. No harm done. Just relax, will you?" I chuckled.
She took a deep breath and fell back onto the bed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I'm all over the place."
I walked over to her and slung my arm around her. "I'm sure it's normal. The doctor said your hormones would be out of it for a while. You just have to take it easy."
She stood. "Okay. I'm going to get dressed and then I'll go spend time with my baby. Yeah. That's what I'll do."
I watched her stalk off in a weird mannor. As I did this, I remembered what day it was. The boys and I had a meeting about the next tour. That was why Liam had been awake so early.
I jumped up off the bed and ran over to Riley. "Hey, today's the meeting. I totally forgot, Riles. I didn't get anyone to come help you with Nathan," I freaked.
"Zayn, it's alright. I can take care of my son for a few hours," she smiled.
I shook my head to either side. "I said I'd find someone and I didn't. You've never been alone with him before."
"Well it had to happen sometime, right?"
"You can come too and I can keep an eye on you both," I proposed.
She laughed. "I really don't want to leave the house today. I can take care of Nathan. We'll be just fine. Go get ready or you'll be late."
I sighed. It wasn't that I didn't trust Riley with our son. She was an excellent mother. I just didn't want her to stress out. She'd just had him and she was new at it just like the rest of us. But together we worked as a team. I didn't know how she'd react to being alone with Nathan. I didn't want her to lose it, either. She was already acting pretty weird.
But I agreed to it anyway. I got dressed and just before I left with the guys, gave her and my son a kiss goodbye. "You call me if anything. And Riley, I mean anything. I want you to text me every hour just so I know you're okay. I'll have my phone with me at all times. And if you can't reach me, you call any of the guys. Relax. Don't over do it."
She smiled as she leaned in for another kiss. "Everything will be fine. You need to relax."
I nodded once and said goodbye to her, taking one last look before we drove off. I didn't like leaving her alone. I really didn't.
Riley
I waved goodbye as the car drove away, seeing Zayn's worried eyes look back once more. I felt so bad for him. He really was afraid something would happen. But even though I was trembling with fear, I knew that I could manage a few hours alone with Nathan. He was my son after all. And I needed to be able to take care of him no matter what. Zayn and the boys wouldn't always be around. Soon enough, they'd all be back on tour and I'd be home alone, taking care of Nathan.
The first hour was a piece of cake. I didn't have to feed him because Liam had already taken care of that. Instead, I gave Nathan a short bath and then placed him back in his crib. I went about to clean the mess that had been left in the kitchen. And then I texted Zayn telling him that everything was fine.
After that, I went back to check on Nathan and noticed he was wide awake, looking up into my eyes. I reached down and took him in my arms, deciding I would just sit with him and bond. I didn't know why but I set on a show for him to watch in his little bouncy seat and I sat by him, watching his reactions. I didn't know if he was old enough to be amused or not, but he sure seemed intrigued by all the music and colors on the screen. I texted Zayn we were alright.
By the third hour, Nathan had fallen asleep. I placed him back in the crib and started a load in the washing machine. Zayn had already washed our clothes so I put in Niall's. He hardly ever did anything for himself. I went on and began to pick up the messes I found here and there, starting with Louis's room. It was filthy. So it took a while. I texted Zayn a little late. He'd already begun to freak out and had sent me at least ten messages.
I continued with Liam's room and then got to Harry's. While I was dumping the dirty clothes he'd left lying around I noticed that I was getting tired. But I continued anyway, picking up his things and putting them where they belonged, or at least where I thought they belonged. I heard Nathan begin to cry so I went over to him and fed him. For the second time ever, I tried to breastfeed him. It was a little easier this time, seeing as I was alone and didn't feel awkward doing it. I texted Zayn again and told him.
About half an hour later, after having put Nathan back in his little chair to watch more television and as I continued picking up Harry's mess, the boys got back. Zayn was the first in the door, of course.
"Riley?" he called out.
"In here!" I called back, pushing Harry's laundry basket into the hall where I'd placed all the others. I had already folded Niall's load, put Liam's into the dryer, and Louis' into the washing machine. Zayn saw this and his eyes widened.
All the boys walked down the hall and noticed the change. All the doors had been opened and their rooms practically transformed. Harry passed by me and looked inside his room. I saw Louis do the same in his. And then Niall and Liam joined. They all walked out in unison.
Harry's eyes were wide. "How did you even?"
I shrugged. "I had a lot of time on my hands," I answered, leaning against the wall for support. I was beat.
Louis popped out of his room. "She even did mine. I don't know how. But she did."
Zayn's expression was somewhere between shock and concern. "You did all this?"
"Yeah. Are you mad?" I asked, worrying now about him giving me a lecture. He'd specifically told me not to over exert myself. But I didn't truly feel the results of my actions up until that one moment when I stood straight before him.
I was tired. I was more than tired. My legs were sore and my head was throbbing. I didn't feel so good.
"No. I'm not mad. It's just... you know you weren't supposed to over do it."
And I knew he was right. Because as he spoke, his words blurred. I looked over to Niall and noticed that he was blurring, too.
I reached for the doorframe but came up empty handed. Everything was turning and I was queasy.
"Harry, she's going to pass out," I heard Liam say. I saw him reach out to me, but I couldn't reach back for him.
I felt my body slump and I knew that Harry had caught me from behind. I looked up at him groggily and noticed he'd already picked me up. "You're alright. I've got you."