Magnus stared down at the papers before him without really seeing them. He could hear Camille through the wall. She was giggling in that horribly flirty way she did when she was teasing. It made Magnus's stomach turn to the point where he might actually throw up. The woman had absolutely no tact whatsoever! She'd dumped him on Monday and here they were on Thursday afternoon, and she was making out with her Russian underwear model up against his office door. Magnus was of half a mind to storm out and punch them both in the face.
"Stupid assault charges," Magnus grumbled to himself. It was more than a little foolish to assault someone in a crowded office full of lawyers, even if they were all in family law.
As he continued to overhear them being all happy and flirty on the other side of the wall, Magnus seriously considered doing it anyway. After all, he did know a good lawyer or two that could get him out any serious trouble. In this one case, it might be worth the fines.
With a groan, Magnus set aside his work. He wasn't getting anything else done today and he knew it. Magnus got out his phone and texted his friend Catarina. She worked at the hospital just down the street from his office, and they often met up for lunch. They would have probably car pooled into work together if nurses didn't work such crazy hours. Personally Magnus preferred his nine to five over her insane shifts. After exchanging a few texts with her he learned that today was going to be one of those rare days when her shift ended with his. It seemed she was also off at five o'clock and wanted to hang out.
Just then, the sound of his office door opening made him look up. The site that greeted Magnus made him wish he was still looking down at his phone. There stood his unnaturally blonde ex girlfriend looking way too hot to be allowed, and her new boy toy looking just as attractive if not more so. It wasn't fair.
"What do you want Camille?" Magnus groaned.
"Don't look so gloomy," she grinned at him. "I have a proposition for you."
"We have a proposition for you," her model corrected her in his ridiculous accent.
"You can't have my parking spot," Magnus said tonelessly.
Camille laughed, her girlish giggle that had once made him smile, but now it just made him sick. She was looking at him like she was about to give him a great gift. Those deep green eyes staring right through him.
"As I know you go both ways," she smiled at him. "And Anton is curious, we thought we'd invite you to join us one night." The inflection of her voice left no doubt as to her meaning. Camille was inviting him to have a threeway with her and the guy she'd dumped him for. Magnus's desire to punch her increased ten fold, and he was quite possibly more nauseous than before.
"As much fun as that sounds," Magnus said sharply, trying to hold back the anger. "I don't think my boyfriend would be happy about it."
"Oh, I did not realize you were seeing someone," Camille replied, her smile all fake. He could tell once again by her voice that she hated the idea of him being with someone else. The jealousy in her voice was obvious, and yet it made no sense! Why then had the crazy bitch dumped him!?
"Oh, ah yeah," Magnus continued, reveling in her distaste. "He's very possessive. Sorry. I'm taken."
"I must meet this man," Camille declared.
"He's shy," Magnus decided.
"No matter," Camille counted. "I must see him."
"I'll ask," Magnus tried to keep his cover going. "But I doubt it will come to anything."
"I'm so happy for you," Camille said, once again all sweetness, but Magnus could sense an underlying annoyance. She was in no way happy for him.
"Thanks," Magnus said awkwardly. He was hoping they'd leave, but instead they just stood there in his office... not leaving.
"Umm... I have a lot of work to do before the end of the day," Magnus tried to drop a hint.
"Oh yes, of course!" Camille said quickly. "We will just have to meet this new man of yours at the staff party on Saturday then."
Before he could tell her no, indeed before he could even open his mouth to speak, she'd turned and left the office, giving him not even the slightest chance to rebuke her claims. As the door clicked behind her, Magnus hung his head down on his desk and asked himself how the hell he'd gotten into such a ridiculous situation. After all, he was a smart guy. Law degree, passed the bar, practicing lawyer and all that; yet somehow this stupid women had the power to turn him into an idiot.
Lifting his head, Magnus banged it once on the desk. Then again. It was satisfying, but he didn't feel any better. Thug... thud... thud. Magnus almost missed the knock on his door. Dreading seeing her beautiful, pale passive-aggressive face once again, Magnus didn't look up right away.
"Who is it?" he called, his voice dull.
"That depends," the voice replied. "Who exactly are you trying to avoid?"
Smiling with relief, Magnus got up to let his friend Ragnor into the room. Ragnor was a tall man with light red hair, and a fondness for the colour green. Magnus could not remember the last time the man had worn a tie of any other colour. Ragnor had worked at the firm longer than Magnus and was quite a few years older, but despite this, the two men got along very well and had been good friends since the day they'd met. When Magnus had first been hired here, it had been Ragnor that showed him the ropes.
"Who died?" Ragnor asked upon seeing the look on Magnus's face.
"My self-respect," Magnus replied.
"Ouch," Ragnor said sympathetically. Then he sat down in the seat usually taken by clients, and asked Magnus what was going on. Magnus recounted the entire ordeal for his friend, then returned his energies to banging his head on desk. Thud... thud... thud.
"You are going to get brain damage if you keep that up," Ragnor told him.
"Nah," Magnus said. "Just a bruise I can't explain."
"Forehead is not a typical place for a hickey, I will admit," Ragnor chuckled. "Or do fictional boyfriends do it differently?"
"This isn't funny," Magnus whined.
"Oh, come on," Ragnor sighed. "You've been broken up, what, like a week?"
"Since Monday," Magnus muttered.
"Oh geez, that woman works quickly," Ragnor replied. "If only she wasn't such a good paralegal, then maybe you could get her fired."
"Urg!" Magnus groaned. "Stupid woman, and her stupid hot boy toy."
"I suppose that would be even worse for you," Ragnor observed thoughtfully. "Since you can probably appreciate how hot her boy toy is."
"Not helping," Magnus whined.
"Anyway, what was I going to say?" Ragnor started up again. "Oh right. It's been less than a week, so it's not like she's expecting you to be in a serious relationship. All you have to do is get one for the office party. Easy."
"Her relationship seems serious enough," Magnus grumbled under his breath.
"I give up," Ragnor laughed. "I'm done with clients for the day and leaving early. Care to join me?"
"I promised I'd get coffee with Catarina," Magnus explained. "I'm meeting her at five."
"Suit yourself," Ragnor smiled. "Good luck."
"I'll need it," Magnus replied as his friend turned and exited the office, closing the door behind him.
Magnus slumped down into his chair and had a little pity party for one before opening up the internet on his computer and playing solitaire. Screw work! The simple game helped numb his mind, and by the time 5 o'clock came around he was feeling a little better. That was until he remembered that he had to get a boyfriend by Saturday night. Because he hadn't told Camille he had a date, oh no. He'd foolishly said he had a 'boyfriend.' Not a girlfriend, not a date, oh no, a 'boyfriend'.
He'd never been so glad to leave work before, as he headed downstairs to meet up with Catarina. He found her sitting in the lobby in her usual slightly too big, bright blue scrubs. Catarina was a slim woman, with the rather unique combination of blue eyes and dark skin. He waved as he approached.
"Hey Magnus," Catarina smiled.
"Hey," he replied smiling back before they made their way around the building to the cafe on the corner.
"The day care doesn't let out till eight as that was when I was suppose to get off," Catarina explained. "So rather than collect Tobias early, I thought I'd enjoy some me and Magnus time." She paused before adding, "Between work and the kid I feel like I never see you anymore."
"That's what you get for adopting a foster kid," Magnus reminded her. "The destruction of your social life."
"It's not such a sacrifice if you think about it," she replied. "You should really try it sometime."
"I'm too much of a kid to have a kid," Magnus laughed. "The fact that I am still making up stories to get out of trouble proves that."
Catarina turned to him, scowling. "What did you do?"
"You look like such a mom when you say that," Magnus chuckled. She raised an eyebrow at him and he added, "I may have told Camille that I had a boyfriend."
"And why would you do that?" Catarina inquired.
"As a way of turning down her offer of a threeway with her and the Russian model," Magnus replied.
"Ah yes," Catarina chuckled. "Anton is it?"
"That's the one," Magnus sighed, then muttered under his breath. "Stupidly attractive idiot."
Catarina laughed. "You aren't over her, huh?" she said as they entered the cafe and walked up to the counter.
"I want to be!" Magnus whined. "She's evil, and I hate how she pushes my buttons."
"Go get a boyfriend then," Catarina shrugged.
"Oh yeah, cause it's that easy," Magnus scoffed.
He turned to the person at the till, and ordered a caramel macchiato with extra foam. Catarina had her usual boring drip coffee, and they went to get a table.
"It actually is that easy," Catarina told him as they sat down. "You don't need a soulmate. Just a date."
"I told her I had a boyfriend though," Magnus whined, determined to be miserable. "Not simply a date."
"She doesn't have to know that," Catarina reminded him.
"Oh, but she'll ask the guy, and he'll say this weirdo asked me out on a first date to a work function, and my whole cover will be blown," Magnus complained.
"Okay, then you don't need a date," Catarina corrected. "What you need is a fake boyfriend."
"Ah yes, very helpful," Magnus said sarcastically. "Should I try ordering one online? Or do you think Amazon has a mail order service for fake boyfriends. Should I try Ebay?"
For this he received a rather elegant eye roll. "Go out, scope some rooms. Use that excellent gaydar of yours, and find someone, then go up and ask if they'd like to spend an evening on your arm telling small white lies in exchange for free food and a great story to tell."
"You make it sound so easy," Magnus sighed. "But who'd want that?"
"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" she laughed. "Lots of people."
"Oh, what do you know," Magnus whined. "You've been single since the 1800s."
"Well I'm twenty-nine so nice try," Catarina scoffed. "And you don't have so many friends that you can afford to lose one by calling her an old spinster."
"Sorry," Magnus sighed. He knew from her tone that she wasn't actually upset, but still he felt bad.
"My work and my son is all I need from life," Catarina continued. "But you my friend, can boost no such thing."
"Sounds nice," Magnus mused. "This whole being single and being happy about it thing. Ragnor's good at it too."
"It's lovely," she replied with a smile.
With a sigh, Magnus covered his face with his hands and groaned. "If only I'd told her I had a new girlfriend," he grumbled. "There are way more straight women than gay men out there, and somehow I can imagine a woman going along with this plan more than a guy."
"Well my friend, if I had a time machine I'd go back to earlier today just for you, and make sure you say girlfriend," Catarina told him seriously.
"If I had a time machine I would go back and never date Camille in the first place!" Magnus laughed.
"Fair enough," she chuckled. Then added with authority, "Just so you know, I expect to be kept in the loop on this. How am I supposed to live vicariously through you if I don't get any news."
"Understood," Magnus replied with a joking salute. Then he relaxed and added with a slight whine, "Oh, I just know this is all going to blow up in my face. They say don't date someone from work, and now I know why. You can't get away from them when it all falls apart."
"There, there," Catarina said in that mom voice of hers as she patted his arm consolingly. However, the huge smile on her face rather ruined the effect however.
"You have two whole days to figure this out," she tried instead. "The rest of today, all of tomorrow, and most of Saturday. Cheer up." Magnus plastered a fake smile on his face as he looked back at her. She laughed, almost choking on her coffee.
"See, who wouldn't want to fake date that adorable face?" she told him.
"Let's see," Magnus began. "Imasu, Etta, Richard, Axel, and now Camille. With the rate at which I pile up exes it would seem most of Toronto doesn't want to date this adorable face."
"Don't be such a pessimist," Catarina scolded him. "It's their loss, my friend."
"See, I know that's the thing to say," Magnus sighed. "But it's not actually true. It's my loss."
"I can't cheer you up if you refused to be cheered," she informed him.
"Fair point," Magnus sighed. He checked the time. "You should probably be going home to that beautiful kid of yours, and I need to hit a bar... or ten."
"Just don't look desperate," she told him. "And I'm sure you'll find someone."
"Don't be desperate," Magnus laughed. "Yeah, that's gonna be possible."
"I shall wish you luck then," she smiled at him as she stood. "Since cheer is lost on you."
"Ha ha, very funny," Magnus replied as he hugged her goodbye. "Say hi to Tobias for me."
"Will do," Catarina smiled before she turned and they walked out of the cafe together. At the corner they parted, her towards her car and Magnus towards his.
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So I actually wrote this at least 5 months ago. I just thought that I should wait for another one of my stories to end before I started uploading it, but today I decided screw that and I here we are. :)
My editor is CoffeeandLiterature on fanfic and I hope you enjoy this story. :D You should check out her malec stories too! They are great despite the fact that I edit them lol.
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Sneak Peek Chapter two
Then again, how bad could it really be if he showed up alone tonight? He'd make some excuse for the fictional guy's absence, and then duck out of the party early... yeah that might work. Like maybe it was fictional boyfriend guy who was sick instead of him? Oh, but that stupid blonde woman would never let him live it down! She'd smirk and tease him about making up a boyfriend, which in this case was true, but he didn't want her to know that! And even if she didn't see through him outright, Magnus would end up spending the next few months dodging her hints, and pretending to ignore her gibes.
Thud... thud... thud...
There was really nothing else for it. He just had to find somebody to come to the party with him. It almost didn't matter who it was at this point! Three hours wasn't so short a time. All he needed was a gay man with no plans on a Saturday night, or in other words, no social life. Magnus groaned and hit his head on the table again. Yep he was doomed.
Thud... thud... thud...
You know, in all honesty the guy didn't even have to be gay or even bi. He just had to be willing to pretend to be with Magnus for an evening. Non-homophobic date requested. Maybe he should just give up and see if he could hire a male escort?
Thud... thud... thud...