Life is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. - Someone.
Lyla
Gen paced the room uncomfortably, as I sat on my couch and watched her anxiously.
When I left Azrael, my first thought was to get Gen. But I had delayed the whole confrontation.
This was such a delicate situation.
I was scared.
So...I called her over much later after I had actually arrived.
She would know how to calm me down.
Now I was rethinking that decision. From I told her what had happened, she haven't stopped pacing.
She would stop for a few seconds to stare at me then go back to pacing.
"Gen, stop. Please." I whispered after a while.
She stopped and looked at me worriedly.
"I'm worried, Lyla. You're the mate of a demon. A fucking demon! The literal son of the devil." She yelled.
I looked away, that was very frightening.
"What should I do?" I asked her softly.
She sat beside me and ran her hand through her red curls. "I really don't know." She answered.
"I mean, you can't hide. That much is obvious. You can't refuse him or you die. That's even more obvious."
"He wouldn't kill me, Gen. THAT much is obvious." I said, suddenly irritated.
"How are you so sure?!" She screamed.
"Because he wouldn't!"
There was silence.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm just so confused and unbelievably stressed."
"If that's your only problem then talk to him." Gen stated simply. She was suddenly calm.
I looked at her as if she was crazy, "What?! Are you crazy?!"
She shrugged, "I thought you were afraid of being his mate. Of being in the presence of a literal demon. But...you're just confused. Does him being a demon even bother you or it's the mate part? The most obvious solution to clearing this up, is listening to the man. You don't even know what mate means to them."
I looked away. She was right. If I had given him the chance to say his piece, maybe I wouldn't be here.
"That's madness." I sighed, defeated.
She took my hand, "It wouldn't hurt to talk to him. Or just hear him out. You did promise to think it over before you reacted." She reasoned.
I looked down. I broke that promise. I wasn't thinking at all when I stormed out of his place.
But, could I be wronged? That was a difficult thing to hear.
I looked from her piercing gaze.
"He's an actual demon Gen. The ones we read about in books and heard about in church. A demon. I'm fated to be with a demon forever." I countered heatedly.
Why was I the only one bothered by this?
"But just a few days ago you were willing to spend a lifetime with that demon." She said, matter a factly.
"There was a difference, he wasn’t the son of Satan." I gritted out.
"He was! You just didn't know!" She shouted, frustrated.
I paused, she was right. He was the same man I grew to like.
"I don't want to love a demon, Gen. It's scary." I whispered.
"Do you love him?" She asked suddenly.
I nodded. Of course I did. I couldn't deny that.
I was willing to pack up and leave my home for him.
Of course I loved him.
It made no sense but I did. I told my self I didn't but I did.
How do you love someone in only a few days?
"Then you love the demon, end of story. Talk to him. At least hear what he has to say. No ond said you had to make a decision right on the spot. Even he said think about it." She said, looking at me.
I looked at her.
I mean, sure, I didn't have to make a decision now but still, was I ready to face him after I ran away from like that?
I had confirmed all his fears.
I felt awful for that.
"Yes. You're right. I know you are. I'll talk to him as soon as I can muster up the courage." I told her.
She smiled. "I know you're scared. It's ok. I am too. My best friend is mated to a demon. It's crazy. But that demon had you like putty in his hands before this. You would have done anything for him. That man is still there, he's just.....accompanied by a demon. Just, follow your heart."
I hugged her. This is why she's my best friend.
"I love you." I murmured in her neck.
She laughed, "I love you too short stuff."
I grinned.
"Well, I think its time I go."
I looked at her sadly. I wished she could stay. But she had things to do and my arrival was short notice.
I nodded.
"I'll call you later." She said giving me a quick hug. "Think about it."
"Sure."
She left and I was alone with my thoughts.
I went to my room to think things over.
It's actually been a whole week since I saw Azrael.
A whole week since I heard his voice, seen his otherworldly face, since I've been in his calming presence.
Besides everything, I missed him. There was no doubt about that.
But the fact still remained, he was a demon. His father was the devil. And I was the mate of this demon.
This, in it self was very scary. It was hard to take in...to accept.
I couldn't really believe he was a demon. Before this, I didn't even think they exist.
When he told me this, all I could think of was how terrifying this was.
I ran because I was scared. But who wouldn't be.
But his screams.
God, his screams tore right through me.
I could hear it long after I had left his estate. It rang in my ears like church bells.
I hear it every night in my dreams. I see his face twisted in pain and anguish. It pains me each time I'm jerked awake and realize it's a dream.
I almost turned back. I almost stopped the car and ran back to him.
Almost.
But I didn't. I was too scared.
That's my problem. I was always scared. New and uncertain things terrified me. I was a coward.
I looked out the window, the view wasn't beautiful at all. The sky scrapers and smoke from the factories made it almost impossible to even see the skiy from my house.
I sighed and remembered the flower gardens at Azrael's house.
Flower......
His husky voice rang in my head. I liked that nickname, in fact I loved it.
The way it made me feel when he called me that. The butterflies that erupted in my stomach. It was a beautiful feeling.
I missed him so much. Too much actually.
If only I could push away the fear I felt when I remember what he is.
I wanted to call him. Talk to him. I really wanted to.
So much so that I asked Moloch for his phone number.
I wonder if he had mine. I'm not sure if I gave Moloch.
I had saved Azrael's number in my phone. I would write a paragraph, read it over then delete it all and curse my self for being so stupid and cowardly.
I groaned and fell into my bed.
Why can't I be brave?
I grabbed my phone and looked up his number.
Before I could talk my self out of it, I called him.
It rang four times. I was about to hang up because of the nerves, when he picked up on the fifth ring.
"Hello?"
He answered.
His rich voice filled my ears. But he sounded tired and sad.
Nothing like the dominating and commanding tone I knew him for.
I didn't answer. I couldn't. My words seem to stop at my throat, refusing to come up.
"Hello? Who is this?"
He sounded irritated now. My heart rate picked up speed and my hands were so sweaty.
Jesus! What's wrong with me?! Talk Lyla!
"Bullshit. I'm going to hang up."
"No! Wait!" I suddenly shouted.
Oh god, what's wrong with me! What a terrible start. This the worst idea I ever had.
"Lyla?"
My voice got stuck again. Why?! Him, calling my name just always did something to me.
"Lyla, is that you?"
He sounded so hopeful, so alive. Did I do that to him?
"Flower, I can hear your heartbeat....are you that afraid of me? Do I scare you so much?"
His voice cracked at the end and tears flowed from my eyes. He sounded so hurt and it was all my damn fault.
"I'm sorry." I croaked, "I'm so sorry."
"Stop, Flower, there's nothing to be sorry for."
Even with that, I couldn't stop crying. Because why was he so damn nice?
I broke the promise and I think that broke him. I was being being selfish.
"Lyla I can hear your sobs. Please stop, you're breaking me."
"I'm sorry." I sobbed again.
There was a long pause. I could hear his harsh breathing on the other side. Was he thinking? What was he doing?
I was panicking. Having a full on anxiety attack.
"Can I see you?"
I paused, "What? Now?" I asked, sniffling.
"Its been a whole week Lyla, I can't stand another second away from you. Please."
"Uh. Well ok. I mean, um sure." I fumbled.
There was a sigh of relief on the other side.
"Oh, thank you Lyla. I'll be there in a few minutes."
I nodded, then remembered that he can't see me, "Um yes. Of course." I sound like an idiot.
"I love you."
He whispered that so softly, I nearly didn't hear.....but I did.
And it made me feel good. So very good that I grinned.
Words can be so effective.
"I love you too." I whispered back.
There was a long pause again and I thought he was gone.
"Azrael, are you there?" I asked, worriedly.
"Yeah, yeah I am...... I'll be here as soon as I can."
I nodded, "See you soon then." I hung up.
I stared at my phone for the longest of times. Did I just invite him over?
Was I really ready for this?
I wasn't. And if I was being honest, I would never be.
But I can't wait until I feel I'm ready. I need to do this now.
We need to establish what's actually happening.
But that call went surprisingly well. I expected him to be upset or angry.
It would have been better than hearing his broken voice on the other end of the line.
I did that.
I hated the thought. I don't want to hurt anyone.
Especially him.
He was special.
Literally.
He was a demon, who I was mated to.
How could this possibly go wrong?
Chubbyalejandra 💖