Harry caught up with Louis at the end of the day, waiting outside the front gates. His brother frowned and looked ready to turn and walk in the opposite direction when he saw him, and Harry rolled his eyes.
He was well-aware the twelve year old was avoiding him because he hadn't spoken to their parents yet. He still planned to, because he wasn't going to let him carry on as he was.
"Lou, really? You looked right at me," he said, catching him by the arm as he tried to walk by.
Louis tried to act surprised and Harry had to try not to laugh despite himself. "Harry? Where'd you come from?" he asked, and he shook his head.
"Hilarious. Come on, Ash is giving us a lift," he said. His Papa had sent him a text to say he couldn't leave Niall alone in the house because he was sick, and so the boys were going to have to make their own way home.
He wasn't glad Niall was sick, but he was glad that it was going to give him the chance to speak to Louis again before he spoke to the Dads. In the midst of the drama with Louis and everything that had happened with Ash, Harry had almost forgotten about the bruises on Niall and what he suspected was bullying - he knew once he'd sorted this mess, he'd have to start taking care of his other brother, too.
Louis sighed. "I can walk, I have legs," he said, and Harry shook his head.
"You're not funny, Lou. Now come on, Ash is waiting," he said, dragging his brother towards his boyfriend's car.
He was still feeling the butterflies about what had happened between them on Friday night. It hadn't been the way he'd imagined, it had been slow and sweet and he didn't regret it for even a second. He felt like he had been on a high ever since.
His brother groaned. "I don't need you to lecture me. You're not Dad or Papa," he argued, though he still climbed into the back of the car.
Harry slipped in beside him as Ashton started up the engine. "Yeah, well, Dad and Papa can have their turn when we get home."
"What?" Louis looked nervous, shaking his head. "Haz, please don't tell! I didn't even do anything."
He raised an eyebrow. "So you didn't sneak out to a party on Friday night?"
He had really hit the spot there, because his brother looked panicked, then frowned. "Did Niall tell you? That little -"
"Ni didn't do anything, Lou. There are pictures on social media. You're in the background of a few, drinking. Again," he said, shaking his head. He had been shocked to see the pictures, but mostly concerned because it wasn't right. Twelve year olds were meant to stay in and play video games, complain about school and be moody.
They weren't supposed to be sneaking out to parties and getting drunk.
Louis went quiet then, no longer having an attitude as he slouched back in his seat and chewed his lip, before glancing across at his older brother nervously. Harry did feel a little guilty, because he knew whatever was going on with Lou probably wasn't entirely his own fault.
"I...I don't want Dad and Papa to hate me," he mumbled, and Harry sighed when he saw the teary eyes because that was the brother he knew, the brother who had a conscience.
"They won't hate you Lou, but you have to stop lying to them. You need to tell the truth about whatever's going on that makes you feel like you need to go out and drink to fit in. Please?" he asked, softly, and Louis sniffed and gave a small nod, looking ashamed.
"Okay."
#
The house was quiet when they got in, and for a moment, Louis thought it was empty. He hoped it was empty, because he really wasn't prepared to get shouted at as soon as he walked in through the door.
But then he heard hushed voices in the kitchen and he glanced over at Harry, who nodded at him. He sighed.
He knew he had a problem. Maybe it wasn't a huge one, but he wasn't stupid. He knew it wasn't right, what he was doing. It wasn't right how whenever things got stressful, or he felt sad or angry or lonely, the first thing he remembered was how it felt to be drunk. He knew he had to be honest with his Dads, even if it did get him into trouble.
He chewed his lip and stepped into the kitchen alone, his older brother disappearing upstairs. His Dad had his back to him, but it was clear he'd only just gotten back from work. Papa looked serious, and he wondered if he should come back later when the man noticed him and forced a smile.
"Hey, Loubear. Good day?" he asked, cheerily enough. Louis swallowed as his Dad turned to face him as well, giving a small nod.
"Um, yeah, it was okay..." he trailed off, remembering what had happened at break time with Niall being sick. "Is Ni alright?"
Papa nodded. "Fast asleep. I think he's been stressing himself out, he needs to give himself a break."
Louis chewed his lip and his Dad frowned at him.
"Everything okay with you, Lou?" he asked, looking curious.
Louis swallowed. Was he really going to be truthful to them? Was he really going to get himself into the most trouble he'd ever been in in his entire life?
He shook his head and sat at the counter, looking down at his hands in his lap as he tried to think of the right thing to say. "I...I did something bad. And you're gonna be mad at me," he mumbled, trying to ignore how his parents were closing in on him, looking concerned.
He felt his Dad's hand on his shoulder, his Papa sitting on the stool beside him. "What do you mean? What did you do?" Liam asked, sounding worried.
He chewed his lip, looking up with tears in his eyes. He had spent so long trying to convince everyone he wasn't a baby, yet here he was crying again. "I went to another party," he said quickly, just wanting to get it out. "And I got drunk again. And I smoked. Twice."
It went silent then, and Louis waited for the yelling to start, heart pounding against his ribcage because it had all tumbled out in one panicked rush and now there was no going back. It was the middle of October, he couldn't exactly yell 'April Fools' and leave it at that.
He glanced at his parents as they both frowned, trying to read their expressions. He had expected pure anger, not this. He wanted them to shout and get it over with.
"Jesus, Lou," his Dad said finally, turning around and holding a hand against his forehead in the way that Louis knew meant he was stressed. He chewed his lip, feeling the disappointment radiating off of the man.
Papa remained stiff, frowning and shaking his head. "Why?"
Louis shrugged slightly, not knowing how to answer. "I don't know," he murmured, and he saw the two men exchange glances.
"You do know, Lou," Dad said, and he didn't sound angry, he just sounded...fed up. Somehow that was worse.
He felt himself getting choked up. "You're getting sick of me, aren't you?" he asked, sniffling as tears began to run over his cheeks.
Dad sighed and wrapped his arms around him, taking the twelve year old by surprise as he allowed himself to melt into his father's embrace, sniffing and trying to dry his cheeks.
"I-I didn't listen to you guys and I messed up, y-you're meant to yell at me," he said, shaking his head.
Papa pinched the bridge of his nose. "We're not gonna...you know what you did was wrong, but we're worried, okay? Do you - do you think you might have a problem?" he asked, hesitantly.
Louis shrugged, heart pounding at the thought because he didn't have a problem. He was twelve years old, he wasn't addicted to alcohol. But he was addicted to finding unhealthy ways to block out his emotions instead of dealing with them, and he knew that was a problem in itself.
"I just, I feel sad and lonely, or I get mad that people a-are treating me like a baby. A-and I don't like being sad or lonely o-or mad so I just don't wanna feel anything at all," he cried, eyes filling with tears again.
"Oh, Lou," Dad murmured, rubbing a hand up and down his arm gently.
Louis carried on. Now that he started, he couldn't seem to stop. "And the guys on the team a-are older and better and I w-want to be good enough. I always t-try to be good and it's never enough!" he choked out, because it felt so good to get everything off of his chest, like a huge weight was being lifted off of his shoulders.
"And Harry's been so g-good to me," he carried on, hand tangling up in his Dad's shirt as he cried freely now, not even bothering to hide it anymore. "But all I've d-done is be mean to him, and there's something wrong w-with Niall and y-you guys are always busy and you k-keep arguing a-about money and it's all too much!"
His Dad held him tighter, hushing him, and he felt his Papa take his other hand and squeeze it gently.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," his Dad was murmuring over and over, and he just let everything pour out of him until finally, for the first time in what he realised was a really long time, his head was quiet.
#
Liam sent Louis up to take a nice warm bath after a little while, promising him they'd come to some sort of solution later on once everything had calmed down a little. Niall was still asleep upstairs, cuddled with Cooper, and as far as he knew, Harry was in his room.
He turned to his husband with tired eyes, shaking his head and sitting on the stool that their twelve year old had just been sitting in, putting his head in his hands.
Things had been so perfect, and he wasn't sure when everything had started breaking down.
Louis had been rebelling, and he hadn't been dealing with his emotions but all they had done was lecture him and punish him when he was struggling.
Harry had been spending most of his time with Ashton, and he couldn't remember the last time they had done anything together as father and son like they always used to.
Niall wasn't eating, barely speaking, he was always upstairs. The weight was dropping off of him and he looked ready to break but Liam didn't know what to do, didn't know how to deal with that sort of thing and so it was easier just to ignore it altogether, to pretend it wasn't happening.
He was an awful father. He had failed all of his boys, and he'd been so preoccupied with working an extra shift or two just to save up a few more pennies that he hadn't even realised.
Zayn wrapped an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his temple, and he looked up with watery eyes.
"Baby," Zayn hummed, holding him close but he pushed away, blinking away the tears and shaking his head. He wasn't the one who needed comforting.
"Don't, Z. We've messed up, big time," he said, and it was true. Both of them had been stressed and bickering constantly, and they hadn't realised how much it was affecting Louis, and probably the other two boys as well.
Zayn nodded, dropping his hands to the counter. "I know. I know. We can fix it," he said, and Liam sighed, shaking his head.
"Can we? Zayn, we need to drop those extra shifts, we've paid off the bills and now we need to focus on our boys," he said, then shook his head. "For crying out loud, our twelve year old is acting like an adult with the weight of the world on his shoulders? How'd we let it get to that?" he asked.
Zayn just shook his head, so Liam carried on.
"And Niall? He - he must have some sort of eating disorder, right? You've seen him, he's..." he trailed off, whispering the words 'eating disorder' like they were a curse because he didn't want to say it out loud, didn't want to believe it. "He's so tiny and it's not - we're not doing anything," he said.
"I don't think...I mean, Niall? He doesn't have - I think he's stressed, Li. All that schoolwork, it's all he ever does, he needs to take a breather," Zayn argued feebly, clearly not wanting to believe it either.
Liam shook his head. "And Harry. He's constantly left to his own devices, when was the last time either of us checked in on him, made sure he's not freaking slicing his wrists again? Hm?" he said, almost crying himself now.
Zayn chewed his lip and shook his head, and this time Liam allowed his husband to pull him into a hug because he needed it right then. He just needed it.
"We can fix this. We've fixed things before, right?" he said softly, and Liam sniffed, giving a small nod.
They were going to fix it alright. And if it seemed impossible, they'd have to find a way.
He refused to let his boys down again.
EDITED 17.12.21