"Zee, please let me explain." Jocelyn begged as we walked into the Institute, Aldertree and Lydia in front of us, Aldertree's men walking alongside us also.
I ignore her, turning into the training room, Jocelyn following me along with Simon.
"Zee." Jocelyn raises her voice, "Zee, stop!"
What she had done had woken my anger, as it boiled through my veins, that I felt that I was about to burst with rage.
"What is wrong with you?" I face her, "We almost had him back."
"Zee-" Jocelyn began, "I can explain-"
"I don't want your explanation!" I lash out, "You tried to kill him!"
My shout leads my mother and Clary to walk in.
Clary looks at us, "What's going on?"
"Are you okay?" My mother, Margaret walks over to me, concern crossing her features when she noticed the rip in my shirt and how it was stained with blood.
"Your mother-" I said in a dangerously calm voice, pointing at Jocelyn, looking right at Clary, "She tried to kill Jace, and almost killed me in the process."
"Mom?" Clary looks at Jocelyn with wide eyes.
My mother stares right at Jocelyn, "You almost killed my daughter?"
"You don't understand." Jocelyn stares at me, huffing in guilt, "I didn't mean to hurt you, Zee. You've got to know that, I love you- I would never want to hurt you intentionally-"
"If you hurt him, you hurt me." I spat at her, "You tried to kill him. That was intentional."
"Zee-" My mother tried to calm me, grabbing my arm, "Enough, just breathe-"
"No, Mom-" I pull away from her, pointing at Jocelyn, "Jace means so much to me. If you're any type of threat towards him, you are dead to me."
"Zee, you don't understand." Jocelyn sighs.
"You're right, I don't." I scoff, "I don't understand why you would try to kill our brother."
"Because your brother, he's not who you think he is." Jocelyn blurts out, running a hand through her hair, "Honey, there's still so much you don't know."
"Oh, and whose fault is that?" I looked between her and my mother, then stood right in front of Jocelyn, "Everyone says that Valentine is the monster, but you- you just tried to murder your own son!"
Simon cuts in, coming between us, "Hey, maybe- we should take a deep breath and relax."
"Simon, give us some space, please." Jocelyn gently said.
"Sure thing, Mrs. F." Simon clears his throat, stepping away.
"No, you're not going anywhere." I stop him, then look at Jocelyn, "I trusted you with my life. But- then you went along and- tried to kill someone I care about- who is also your son- and then almost became the one who took my life away."
"I want you to know I'm a victim here, too." Jocelyn grabs my hands, "We all are."
"Of course you're going to play that card-" I scoff in disbelief, pulling my hands away, turning to walk away and towards Clary and my mother who were watching in shock, "It's the only card you can play-"
"Zee, please- one moment, just listen-" Jocelyn grabs me and turns me to face her, "When I was pregnant with your brother, Valentine drugged me. He did an experiment on the baby."
My eyebrows furrow, "What?"
"He injected Jonathan with demon blood." Jocelyn told me, swallowing hard at the thought of it.
"Why-" I was caught off guard, "Why- would he do that?"
"He's sick." Clary mutters from behind me, staring at Jocelyn in disbelief at what she was hearing.
"He thought demon blood would make our unborn child strong." Jocelyn scoffs, "And it did. But- it also made him evil."
"No, even if that's true, Downworlders have demon blood." Clary shook her head, "They're not all bad."
"Clary's right." My mother said, "Demon blood doesn't make you- evil."
"You have no idea how much I loved your brother." Jocelyn looked between Clary and I, her voice shaking, "He was my baby boy. And I didn't want to believe it until I saw what he was capable of."
I roll my eyes, Jocelyn waving her stele over a rune, grabbing Clary and I's arms, a gasp leaving my lips, my eyes widening.
"It's okay." A younger Jocelyn Fairchild came into my sight, "Mommy's just cutting some pretty flowers-"
As she hushed the baby in her arms, cutting off some flowers.
Suddenly, the eyes of the baby were completely black, the flower dying right in Jocelyn's hand, "Jonathan!"
I gasp, pulling away from the vision, blinking, looking down at my boots.
"And it wasn't the last time something like that happened." Jocelyn spoke once Clary stepped away also, "So I went to one of Idris' most powerful warlocks, Ragnor Fell."
I looked up, my voice quiet, "What did he say?"
Jocelyn sighs deeply, "He warned me that, in the future, your brother would only leave death and destruction in his wake."
-
"Aldertree wants to question me again." Simon follows me into my room, "Why would he do that? I don't know anything."
"Maybe- he wants you to confirm that Jocelyn has lost her mind." I huff deeply, walking over to my closet, looking through my clothes to change.
"Jocelyn is the sanest person I know." Simon crosses his arms, "Remember when she told me it was a bad idea to get the Champagne Enema tattoo? Or she warned you that Tommy Peterson was a total assclown?"
"So, you're saying that Jocelyn right about this?" I pull out another pair of black ripped jeans, and a burgundy sweater, placing it onto my bed, "That Jace- Jace out of all people is some kind of evil flower-killing monster that deserves a death sentence?"
"No, no." Simon chuckles, "That's definitely not what I'm saying. But- we did see what Jace did to that vampire."
I sigh, Lydia knocking on the door then opening it, "Aldertree's ready for you."
"Can't wait." Simon barely laughs, then shot me a look, before walking out of the room, leaving me alone.
I grabbed my clothes and headed right for the bathroom, in need of a shower.
-
"Alec, are you okay?" I walked over to him as he breathed heavily, leaning forward against the punching bag after letting out all his anger.
"Pretty bold of you to show your face here." Alec breathes, shooting me a look.
"Alec, please." I ran a hand through my damp hair, "I can explain."
"Unless your explanation can bring Jace back, save it." Alec punches the bag once more.
"Alec," I huff, "Jace is my brother, too."
Alec stops and faces me, how upset he was plastered on the look on his face, "You barely know him. I grew up with him. I fought by his side. He's my brother. He's my best friend."
"I completely get it- I know where you're coming from- but doesn't mean I don't want Jace back any less than you do." I shot back, "I am not Jocelyn. I wasn't the one who tried to kill Jace-"
"How well do I even know you?" He stepped closer to me, ready to call me out for everything.
"Well enough for you to take me to bed, apparently." I shot right back at him, standing still.
He was caught off guard, but he held his ground.
"I mean, you show up out of nowhere, you convince my brother, you convince me to search for Jocelyn." Alec emphasizes, "And the next thing I know, Jace is gone. And Jocelyn is the one trying to kill him."
"I had nothing to do with that, Alec." I told him, "I was the one who took it for him- I almost died for him. I would never hurt Jace."
"Since you've arrived, you've caused nothing but problems." Alec was too upset to even acknowledge that, "My family lost their birthright. Izzy was almost deruned. And now Valentine has my parabatai. And it's all because of you."
"Alec-" My voice was weak, guilt filling within me, "I'm sorry."
"Alec, this isn't her fault." Isabelle said once she walked over.
"Nothing good has come from you showing up." Alec's words brought tears to my eyes, "When are you gonna realize you don't belong here?"
"You never have." Alec continued, then noticed the tears slip, "What, am I hurting your feelings? Jace isn't here to stop me from doing so."
"Alec-" Isabelle stops him, Alec shoving past me and walking away, Isabelle shooting me a sympathetic look, before rushing after her brother.
-
I got up at the sound of a knock at my door, a sigh leaving my lips as I got up from my bed, walking over and opening it, revealing Alec Lightwood.
Another sigh leaves my lips as I turned, sitting back down on my bed and laying back, staring at the ceiling, not saying a word.
Alec closes the door, standing straight, "Listen- I'm not good at apologies."
"You could give it a shot." I don't move, "It won't change how I feel right now, though."
"Zee-" Alec sighs, running a hand through his hair, "It was wrong of me to pull my anger out on you- for something Jocelyn did."
I took a deep breath, sitting up, "Continue."
"I wasn't acknowledging the fact that you took the arrow for him." Alec swallows, looking at his feet, his hands folded behind his back, "And I just took everything that's ever upset me since you've arrived- and threw all of it onto you and- for that I'm sorry."
I stare at him, my eyebrow lightly raising, sucking on my teeth.
"I didn't mean what I said- about you not belonging here and nothing good came from you arriving. Saying that only made me realize how much you've done." Alec rocked lightly on his feet, "I made a good friend- and one who is stubborn- and won't accept or listen to a word I say until she knows that I am happy. The most mundane Shadowhunter I know."
I gave him a weak smile, my voice soft, "Who ever told you that you were bad at apologies?"
-
"Young, strong, highly-skilled fighters, all abducted from boxing clubs, dojos and gyms." Lydia's voice filled my ears as I walked closer to the Ops Center, "Valentine must've realized that even with the Cup, creating Shadowhunters isn't easy. He needs mundanes who are more likely to survive the conversion."
My eyebrows furrow as I came next to Isabelle, my voice quiet, "When did the briefing start? Nobody told me."
Isabelle sighs deeply, "That wasn't an accident."
"Your job is to stake out the potential targets, and catch the Circle members when they try to abduct them." Lydia instructs, "We capture a Circle member, we have a shot at Valentine."
"And Jace." Alec said to Isabelle quietly, "That's how we get to him before they try and kill him."
Isabelle crosses her arms, "Just keep your cool in front of the boss."
"You have your orders." Lydia told everyone, "Dismissed."
I push through everyone as they made their way out, "Lydia-"
Lydia stops at my voice, looking at me.
"Lydia, please." I exhale, "You need all hands on deck. Let me help."
"Absolutely not." Aldertree interrupts, "Your lack of training is a liability. Besides, you're too close to this."
Jocelyn was stood right behind Aldertree, my eyes snapping towards her when Aldertree pulled Lydia to the side, "This isn't coming from me."
-
I sat in my room, playing with my hands, tears brimming in my eyes.
If even Alec apologized, I knew he was right.
He just needed the guts to say it.
Isabelle slowly walks into my room, her eyes landing on me.
"Hey, Zee, all those things Alec said about you-" Isabelle walks over to me, coming to a stop, "-you know I don't feel that way."
"You have every right to." I shook my head, looking down at my hands, "He apologized already- but, at least someone finally had the guts to say it."
"None of this is your fault." Isabelle sighs, "Alec, he's stressed out. With his parabatai gone, he's like a different person."
"Alec's right." I finally look at her, my eyes tinted red, the tears in my eyes slipping, "I'm not one of you- and no matter what I do- how much I train- I won't ever be able to."
"I'm just some girl from Queens-" I look away, "Whose parent was ripped away from her- and ended up in Brooklyn. That girl went out to celebrate her birthday and came back with a present she never wanted and unfortunately can't return."
"You don't want to return that present." Isabelle crouched, placing a hand on my knee, "It's a blessing."
"This is no blessing for me." My voice broke, "I've ruined the lives of people I would've never known if I didn't bump into Jace."
"Zee-" Isabelle grabs my hand, "I will tell you right now- I am so glad you bumped into Jace."
I stare at her as she continued, "If you hadn't bumped into Jace- I wouldn't have met you. Having you and Clary around makes me feel like I finally have the sisters I've always wanted."
My tears increased with her words, "I just I want to feel normal again, Isabelle. I want my old life back. I never wanted this."
"I'm sure." Isabelle nods understandably, "But- don't you get it? You have a target on your back. The Institute is the safest place for you."
"You have a new life now." Isabelle weakly smiles at me, "You have me. And that's not gonna change."
-
I used the pad of my finger to blend in the drawing of the city I had drew on the paper canvas.
I had snuck out of the Institute, and decided to come to my dream college, the Brooklyn Academy of Art.
A hand touched my shoulder, Luke's voice sounding the room, "Hey, kiddo."
I looked back at him, running a hand through my loosely curled hair, noticing my mother, Jocelyn, and Luke.
I roll my eyes in annoyance, returning back to my drawing.
"You have to come back to the Institute." Jocelyn was already ordering, "It's not safe."
I drop the charcoal in my hand, facing Luke and my mother, "So, wait, are you guys on her side now?"
My mother sighs, "There are no sides."
"So- you're okay with her trying to kill Jace?" I question, staring at her.
"We didn't say that." Luke shook his head, "But, Jocelyn's right. You need to get back to the Institute."
I look between them all, "I can't help Jace. I don't have enough training. And even if I did, I'm Valentine's daughter. Nobody there trusts me. Clary's been following the rules while I've been breaking them."
I step away, "For 18 years, you made me believe that I could live a normal life. This life. Where I could be an art student- live amongst the mundanes."
"But- I won't ever be able to." I scoff, "'Cause I'm not a mundane. I'm not a Shadowhunter. I'm not anything- I don't have a label. I'm a nothing."
"Zee, please don't say that-" My mother reaches for me, only for me to to walk past them and leave the building, jogging down the steps.
I came to a halt, my eyes landing on who I thought was dead, "Dot?"
She looked horrible, weak, and tortured.
"I thought you were dead." I stare at her with wide eyes, "What happened to you?"
"Zee!" My mother calls out, rushing out the doors, Jocelyn and Luke following her.
"Dot, what's going on?" I question as she doesn't reply, opening a portal, grabbing my hand.
"Zee, no!" Jocelyn screamed, this being the last thing I heard before I was pulled right along into the portal.
"This- this is Valentine's ship, isn't it?" The words immediately slipped through my lips when we came out the other side, as I was surrounded by Downworlders, "Why the hell would you bring me here?"
"He's misunderstood." Dot finally spoke.
I shook my head, pulling away from her, "He is a murderer."
"This is war." She spat back, "I want you to see something."
I stare at her, "What?"
"There are things that you can do as a Shadowhunter, but there's so much more you're capable of- let me show you." Dot places her hands at my temples, using her magic, my eyes widening, a gasp leaving my lips.
-
"Jace-" My hand touches his shoulder, as he was quickly to turn, his arm around my neck, his other arm bender and keeping my arm held straight so I couldn't move.
"I've had enough of your mind games." Jace's voice was shaky, as he had been crying, his breathing ragged.
"It's me-" I breath out, my eyes wide with surprise.
"Right." Jace was ready to snap my neck.
"Jace- please-" I blurt out quickly, stopping him, "Just- one moment- please-"
"She didn't have her stele." Jace held his position, hot tears streaming down his cheeks, "She didn't- she lost too much blood- you told me she died. You told me Jocelyn killed her. I- why do you keep doing this to me?"
"Jace- I promise, it's me." I breathe, "I slapped you when we went to NYPD to find the Mortal Cup."
Jace lets out a shaky breath, as I went on, "Remember when we went to the Silent Brothers to try and get my memories back? I asked you what writing on the statue meant. Instead of telling me for Shadowhunters, the descent into hell is easy- you told me looking better in black than the widows of our enemies."
Jace loosens his grip, letting go of me.
I face him, my eyes connecting with his. His eyes were slightly red from crying, his cheeks having dried tears stains on them.
"He had me completely convinced that you died-" Jace pulls me into his chest, holding onto me as tight as he could, sniffling, "Thank god you're okay-"
"Jocelyn- she-" I sigh, holding onto him, "I just- I'm okay."
"What are you doing here?" He pulls away, holding my arms.
"Dot brought me." I cross my arms.
"Dot?" He repeats, "She's alive? Why- why would she bring you here?"
"She wanted to show me something." I told him, "Jace, I- I know this sounds crazy, but I can see the future."
"No, that's not- that's not possible." Jace steps away, "Shadowhunters can't do that, Zee-"
"Then I guess I'm not your ordinary Shadowhunter." I cut him off, "Neither are you."
I stepped closer to him, "I never wanted this, Jace. I never wanted any of it."
Jace sighs, "What did you see?"
"The Downworlders." I said, "They slaughter the mundanes, one by one, until there's no one left. And, Jace, with your demon blood, you you're the only one that can stop them."
Jace looks away, confusion falling over me as to what I had just said.
"My children." Valentine walks over, my thoughts behind thrown out the window at the sight of him, "This is what I've always wanted. To be with my family."
My teeth grit, "You and I are not family."
"Zee, I am your father, and I do love you." Valentine stares at me, "So- are you gonna join Jeremy? He's going big game hunting. We just got intel on the wolf that killed Jeremy's father. We're gonna bring the beast back to the boat."
Jace shook his head, turning his face away.
"Look, since Jace doesn't want to go, why don't you come along, Zee?" Valentine stood in front of me, "Hone those Shadowhunting skills of yours, huh?"
"No." Jace denied instantly, "She's, uh- she's not ready to face a cornered werewolf. I'll go."
With that, Jace walks away, Valentine following after him.
-
My eyes open, as I jumped at the sound of screams and strained sounds, noticing that I was in a cage similar to a few of the Downworlders stuck down here.
I covered my ears, trying to calm myself down, the screams scaring me and making me feel extremely guilty.
Dot walks over to my cage, my eyes landing on her, my hands dropping, "What did you do to me?"
"I'm so sorry, Zee." Dot stood straight, staring at me.
"Up there with Jace, that- that wasn't me talking." I pieced it together, "I can't see the future- no Shadowhunter can."
"No." Dot shook her head, "Valentine made me cast a spell on you so that you'd do as I'd say."
"You used me." I stare at her in disbelief.
"And I have to do it again." Dot reaches into the cage, "It wears off quickly on Shadowhunters-"
"No, Dot- please, no!" I grab her wrists, my back pressing up against the cage, "You don't have to do this."
"If I don't, he'll get angry," Dot tried to pull away from my hands, "-and we don't want that."
"Dot," I push her hands away and held onto the bars, "Remember when Clary and I got grounded when Jocelyn realized that we went to see Simon's band? You brought us gelato from Little Italy to cheer us up."
"It wasn't from Little Italy." Dot weakly smiles, "It was from Rome."
"You were like another sister to me." I went on, "Dot, you have always had my back, no matter what."
Hurt crosses over her face, "Why did you stop looking for me?"
"Magnus couldn't feel your magic anymore." I told her, "We thought Valentine had killed you."
"No." She held the bars, looking at me, "He just experimented on me."
"Dot, please, help me." I pleaded, "We may not be able to go back to the way things were, but it doesn't have to be like this."
"You don't understand." Dot exhales, "He will find us."
"We will stay with Magnus, hide behind his wards." I persuade, "Please, Dot."
-
"Please don't kill me." I heard a plead as I walked out onto the ship with Dot, my eyes landing on Jace, holding a blade to the neck of a woman, Valentine right behind him.
Darkness had fallen upon the sky, as she continued to plea for her life, "I've obeyed the Accords. I'm part of Luke's pack. We don't hurt anyone. We're not like that."
"A wolf will say anything to go free, but she can never change what she is." Valentine pushed, "You let her live, son, and she will kill again and again and again."
"Jace-" I walked over to them, Jace looking at me instantly.
"Zee, how nice of you to join us." Valentine had his hands folded behind his back, "Perhaps you can convince your brother to finish what he started."
"Jace, I need you to listen to me, okay?" I stood in front of him, holding his face with one hand, placing the other on his neck, his pulse quickening at my touch.
Jace stared into my eyes, as I gently spoke, "I told myself the day you went with him- that if I found you alive, I would get you out of here."
"Everything I said before, I was under a spell." I softly told him, "Now- we run."
Jace grabs my hand, pulling me along towards where Dot stood.
"Jonathan!" Valentine calls out, "Jonathan, there's no way out."
Four Circle members headed our way, Jace letting go of my hand, fighting two off.
The other two headed towards me, my eyes widening, not having a weapon to fight back with.
I use the training I knew to my best ability, working the right hook right into one of their jaw's, a sharp pain erupting in my hand from that punch, the man stumbling back.
As the other swung his sword towards my head, I duck quickly, using my leg to catch the other one I had punched off guard and knock him off his feet.
I grabbed his blade, piercing it right through him, killing him in an instant.
I gasp as the blade almost getting me, as I move out the way but barely.
I got up to my feet, blocking every swing towards me, backing into Jace.
Jace turns, grabbing me, pulling me into his side, as I blocked one last swing, holding the sword there, Jace using his blade to kill him.
As the man drops, Jace grabs my hand once more, pulling me towards Dot.
Jace stops midway, his eyes wide.
"Jonathan!" Valentine's voice was getting louder and louder as he continued to call for his son.
Jace coughs, dropping his blade, touching his nose, that was now suddenly bleeding.
"Jace-" I drop my blade, "Are you okay?"
Jace leans into me, his arm wrapping around me, barely being able to stand up.
"Jace-" I held him up, "Oh my god-"
"Jonathan!" Valentine shouts, "Jonathan, come back here! There's nowhere to run!"
Dot nods towards me, giving me a hopeful smile, using her magic to break open a hole in the barrier.
"Jace, we have to go now-" I helped him to the edge, holding his hand as tight as I could, jumping off with him, leaving Valentine's ship behind.
authors note:
ok zace is lowkey goals here uhmmm
like wow power couple that's also not a couple atm
zee going off on jocelyn lowkey has me thriving
but aye i published an alec lightwood book so if you wanna go read that, the first chapters up :))
vote and comment loooads