26 // charlotte
Songs for this chapter:
This Time- John Legend
Fly Before You Fall- Cynthia Erivo
Wrens P.O.V
Two weeks had passed since that tragic night, the night that my daughter who still remained without a name was born.
Two weeks had passed since that tragic night, the night that I last heard the sweet voice of my dear Lesra.
Two weeks had passed since anyone had last saw or heard from Shawna, not that I actually cared about her whereabouts.
Two weeks had passed and I was still pondering and confused about the true maternity of my child.
I had watch her grow and change so much in just her first two weeks of life and it stumped me how more and more many of the features that were on her had begun to make its debut on the baby.
"Hello? Are you hearing me?" The woman in front of me said, waving her hands about.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry," I apologized, shaking my head and putting my previous thoughts to the back of my mind. "What was it that you were saying?"
"I want to rent out the space for four hours," the women repeated herself. She pushed a binder into my hands. "In here you'll find the layout and design for the stage and the play lists for the DJ. I've also added a list of drinks that should be served at the bar. My friend loves cheetah print so just splash it everywhere and if you have any questions or if you need me, for whatever the reason may be, I've left my number inside," she twirled her finger around a strand of blonde hair.
"Okay," I simply said. It surprised me how uninterested I sounded.
"You sound awfully bored," she purred. Her hand landed on my bicep before she gave them a light squeeze. "I mean, if you want to come to the party, just know you've already been invited."
I wrapped my hand around her wrist and pulled them from around my arm. She frowned, clearly upset that I had turned down her advances.
"You've left everything pertaining to the details of the party in here, yeah?" I asked, motioning to the binder.
She nodded her head.
"Then that's all i'll need from you. With a binder so thick with paper, i'm sure I wont need to call you for any reason. I'll see you in two weeks," I finalized.
I walked pass the lady, her pale face had turned the color of a ripe tomato.
As I walked across the open space of the dance floor that was turned off during the day, my eyes landed on each of my workers in the warehouse. They were all making sure the place was set up for tonight's rave.
"The order of fifty crates of drinks should be here soon," I called as I passed the bar.
"On it," Jax, one of the best bartenders to work for me replied.
Just because I felt partially lifeless inside didn't mean that the events held at any of my warehouses should be too.
I continued walking until I was out of the general party area and going up the familiar flight of steps. My eyes landed on each one of the new cameras I had installed along the walls of the corridor. I stopped at the black wooden doors and fished out a set of keys from inside of my pocket. After unlocking the door, I stepped into the room and closed it behind me.
I walked through the living area of the loft and made my way towards the bedroom. The bed that was covered with a white comforter creaked as I sat on it. The last time I slept in it was the night I met Lesra.
I ran my hand across the grainy wood of the nightstand before grabbing the gold handle and pulling it open. I shuffled around through the miscellaneous stuff inside until I landed on a purple condom box. I took the box out and slowly turned it around in my hand.
I skimmed over the directions and the caution and then my eyes landed on the confirmation I was looking for. It was a simple date that had the power to make my eyes widen. The box of condoms had expired over three years ago!
I threw the box aside and buried my face into my hands. Of course they had expired years ago! Before Shawna and I began trying to conceive, we'd go places and have spontaneous sex. This room on the second floor of the warehouse was one of those places. It was the reason why I had the condoms in the first place.
I knew expired condoms were no good. The rubber begins to weaken, making the material more likely to tear. But I used one anyway that night. I was in the moment, my hormones were raging, the alcohol was buzzing in my head, my heart was in pain and right in front of me was a beautiful woman. I wasn't thinking correctly that night if I was even thinking at all.
In result of my carelessness that night, there was a very high possibility that I had impregnated Lesra just days before the implantation of Shawna's and I's embryos.
I had been swimming with the theory for the past two weeks now, but just being back in the room where it all happened, reading the expiration date on the box of discarded condoms and seeing how much my daughter looked like Lesra, well, that theory was turning more and more into a reality.
My hands slid down my face so that they just covered my mouth.
I had a running list going of reasons why she needed to wake up but the mere fact that her daughter- our daughter needed her, was at the top.
I quickly shut the nightstand drawer and left the loft. I walked back through the large warehouse and outdoors to my car.
Taking my keys out of my pocket again, I unlocked the doors to my black Impala and got in.
I gripped the steering wheel as I drove. I hadn't heard from Shawna, but if she thought that she was going to pop back up and take my child away from me, she was going to be surprised when she found out that the baby wasn't biologically hers. I just felt it in my bones, that the child was Lesra's.
I stopped at an intersection to let a group of people cross the street. The group of people consisted of two adults, a male and a female and in between them, they swung a very happy little girl. The little girl, whose curly hair grew towards the sky, squealed and giggled as each parent held onto one of her hands and swung her back and forth like the chains on a swing. They crossed the street and stopped in front of a building that I quickly recognized.
It was the art galley Lesra used to work at. In front of the gallery and all along the sidewalks, tables were set up and piled on them were canvases and sculptures.
Curiosity struck me and I pulled into the parking lot that was beside the gallery. Getting out of the car, I zipped up the front of my leather jacket and stuck my hands inside of the pockets to protect them from the chilly weather.
I scanned through the table of art and shook my head in disapproval. I caught the attention of some guy and asked him what exactly was going on, although I had a rough idea.
"You didn't hear?" he asked. "Apparently, the owner of this gallery was selling forged art and passing them off as originals. They shut him and the gallery down."
"Huh," I puzzled. I wasn't surprised at all. I knew the guy was a fraud. Many many years ago, I'd bought and ordered an "original" work from a late painter through Demetri Arnette and received it in the mail about two months later. When I got my hands on the piece, I knew it was a fake. I decided not to take legal action especially with everything that Shawna and I were going through and since it wasn't a great deal of money I had lost, I let it go.
"I also heard that he claimed some other artist around towns work as his own," the guy added. "All for some added money in his pocket," the guy shook his head and walked off.
I bit my bottom lip and looked around. Stacks and stacks of false art surrounded me.
However, in the piles of stuff and people who rummaged through it, one beautifully painted canvas stood out to me. Everything else had dimmed around it and this painting had a spotlight of its own.
"Excuse me," I said, sliding pass someone who wore a thick jacket. I quickly made my way over to the painting and picked it up before someone else got to it first.
It was a self portrait of a young woman. She had dark hair that framed her round face and rich olive toned skin. Green eyes pierced right into you as if to read your darkest secrets and long eye lashes framed them. The women was beautiful but sadness and agony was evident in the small creases of her face. Whoever had created such a work of art was clearly talented. Three shades of blue adorned the background in multiple stroke techniques.
In the bottom right corner in cursive writing were the initials LW.
Lesra Wright
I turned the canvas around to see a single name scribbled on the back.
I tucked the painting underneath my arm and with my head down, I walked back to my car. Carefully placing the canvas on the passenger seat, I drove all the way to the hospital.
.
"Good afternoon Nurse Su," I greeted once I entered the NICU. Even with all of the parents that were there to visit their babies, the place was quiet.
"Good afternoon Wren," she replied with her usual warm smile.
"How has she been today?" I asked rubbing my hands together. We walked in the direction of where the baby was.
"She's an angel like always. In fact, it's time for her bottle feeding so you've arrived just in ti-."
The two of us stopped in front of the empty incubator and I could feel my stomach sink to the floor.
"Where is my daughter?" I asked, raising an eyebrow to the nurse who looked just as confused as I was. I took a quick peek into the surrounding incubators but none of the babies looked like my little girl.
"Oh, that's right!" Nurse Sue remembered. "She was moved to a different area of the NICU. We usually use this part of the NICU for the preemie babies who were just born. I'm sorry for the confusion," the nurse looked at me apologetically.
"It's..alright," I nodded, although I wasn't sure that it actually was. "Just take me to her." When I saw the empty incubator, I'd assumed the worst, with the worst being that someone had taken her. It seemed nearly impossible though, because security in the NICU was very strict.
Nurse Su quickly showed me to another part of the NICU.
"Here she is," Nurse Su announced as we approached her. "I'm sorry again," she frowned.
"It's alright," I murmured, zoning out of what Nurse Su was saying and tuning in to the beauty that was in front of me.
"Hi love," I cooed through the clear plastic casing. I washed my hands in a sink nearby and let Nurse Su drape a blanket over my shoulder.
Carefully and gently, the nurse lifted the baby and set her in my arms. Although she was still light and tiny, feeling the added weight in my arms always brought a smile to my face. She had gained 14 ounces since she was born which was right on track.
I slowly lowered myself onto the plush chair nearby and leaned back with her. As soon as I did that, her face scrunched up and she began to cry. Her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth opened wide, baring only gums and a wailing tongue.
Nurse Su handed me her bottle and I quickly stuck it in her mouth. Her features relaxed and she began to drink. Her eyes opened and she looked up at me as she ate.
"Hi beautiful," I smiled. I lifted her up so I could give her a light kiss on her forehead. I was positive now that Lesra and I had created the little angel.
"Is this a new blanket?" I asked Nurse Su. I'd brought a bunch of things for her from the house such as clothes, hats, blankets, stuffed toys and a few books but I'd never seen the blanket before.
"Yeah, someone who knows Lesra came and gave it to your daughter. Don't worry, she's no stranger, I just can't remember her name at the moment," Nurse Su said with a puzzled expression before leaving.
I looked down to admire the knitted blanket. It was a nice cream color and the baby seemed to like it. I shrugged and assumed Shay had got it for her.
And just as I thought that, Shay walked in and in her hand was a single childrens book.
"Hello Shay," I greeted her.
Although each time I thought about Shay my face began to sting, I didn't dislike her as much as I used to before. Being around both Lesra and my daughter during the past few weeks had taught me how valuable life was. It could be snatched from right beneath you just as quickly as it came.
"Hi Wren," she replied, her voice low. She set the book on the table and wrapped her arms around herself. She visited Lesra and the baby often whenever she wasn't busy.
She looked down at the baby with a faint smile. She still had more than half of her bottle left to drink. Shay washed her hands and sat down beside me.
"Can I hold her?" She asked.
I was iffy at first, but carefully laid the baby in her arms, making sure not to interrupt her feeding.
Minutes passed by and it was quiet except for the sounds of nearby monitors beeping and the suckling sound coming from the baby.
Shay cleared her throat and began to speak. "Were you and Lesra..you know... messing around?" She quietly asked.
"Messing around?" I questioned.
"I mean, she told me there was nothing going on between you two, and I didn't know if I should believe her or not."
"Why didn't you know if you should believe her?"
"Well, considering how you two met and then you all were living in a house together..Just the two of you.. and now, you're at the hospital almost everyday and not just for the baby, but to see her also.. It makes me think that she was more than just your surrogate."
"She was and still is more than just that. I care about her way more than I thought I would and I don't know what you mean by 'messing around', but she's an amazing human being and I've fallen deeply in love with her."
"And what about Shawna?" She turned to face me with large brown eyes.
"What about Shawna?" My head turned to the side a little. "I haven't heard from her in weeks. You'd think that she'd come down to the hospital at least once but nope, nothing."
Shay looked away like she knew something. "I spoke with my sister this morning," she said. "She said that she spoke to Shawna a few days before and she was in Greece."
"Good," I was actually more happy than upset with the news. "She has no reason to be here anyway."
Shay laughed and I I knew that she knew.
"You should really begin thinking of a name for her. I heard that if you don't name your baby before you leave the hospital, they'll put her name as 'Baby Girl Cavora' on her birth certificate."
I chuckled. "I think I have a name for her. I'm not sure if it's what Lesra would've wanted, but hopefully when she wakes up she'll like it."
We burped the baby and changed her nappy. Shay left about an hour after and I asked Nurse Su if I could take the baby along with me downstairs to visit Lesra. Nurse Su gladly agreed with a wide smile, as long as she tagged along too for safety reasons.
I was overjoyed that I could take the baby with me. Before I couldn't, do to all the wires connected to her but now she didn't have any which made her more portable.
"I'll wait here," Nurse Su said, sitting on a blue chair outside of Lesra's hospital room.
"Thank you," I replied. "I call you in if I need anything."
Nurse Su had moved the baby from her incubator into one of the clear hospital bassinets. I wheeled her into the quiet room with the only sound coming from Lesra's monitors and the ventilator that supplied her oxygen. She was still and looked to be sleeping, except this sleep she couldn't be waken up from.
I set the bassinet beside the bed and walked up to Lesra to give her a kiss on her cheek. "Hi love," I tried smiling but it felt forced. I caressed her cheek with the fleshy part of my thumb and was thankful for the warmth that still radiated off of her skin.
I cleared my throat. "I uh, brought someone here to see you," I turned around to carefully lift the swaddled baby from the bassinet.
I brought the baby back towards Lesra's hospital bed and held her close to Lesra's face. "I want to introduce you to our daughter," I murmured. "It's a long story that i'll explain to you later but for now, just know that she's a true beauty like her mum and already growing so fast...I wish you were awake so you could see for yourself, but I guess you'll wake up on your own terms," I laughed without humor.
The only response came from the machines that were keeping her alive.
"They've closed down the art gallery," I began filling her in. "I know you wont be too happy about that, but it was bound to happen. That fraud boss of yours was selling fake art and was claiming someone else's as his own. I'm sure that someone else was you. It was a real jerk move, but when you consider how talented you are, it kind of makes sense. It doesn't justify his actions, but it makes sense."
"On my way here, they had moved all the pieces outside and I was surprised to stumble upon one of yours. The plaque that was attached to it said it was called Women in Despair but when I turned it around, you'd scribbled a name on it. It said Charlotte."
"I think I remember you saying this name before, but I think it's a beautiful name and it fits her. When I saw that painting, I felt like I could feel every single emotion that was running through your head as you painted it. Hopelessness, desperation, heartache, pain... and that's because I feel it too. I mean, when I hold our daughter, it all goes away, but it creeps back up on me sometimes."
I sighed, waiting for her to open her eyes and look my way. Open her mouth and speak, but nothing. She remained expressionless.
"She gets to come home in a few weeks. I'm excited, but very anxious about taking care of a baby. My parents will be staying with me for a little bit to help out but I really want you to be there too."
"Wren," Nurse Su said from the doorway. "It's time for us to bring your daughter back."
"Just one more minute," I replied. She stepped back out of the room.
I sighed deeply. "I'll be back tomorrow sweetheart. I'll try to bring Charlotte with me if they'll continue to allow me. I hope you wake up soon," I murmured, giving her a kiss on her lips. It saddened me that whenever I kissed her, her lips didn't move with mine like how they used to. "I need you and more importantly your daughter, she needs you too."
Weeks passed and each of my days consisted of visiting the hospital. Even after Charlotte was released, I still visited the hospital to see Lesra, although less frequently then I would like.
Taking care of a baby, a newborn at that wasn't easy. Many nights I went with only a few hours of sleep and I was amazed at just how much diapers a baby went through in a single day. My parents were proud grandparents and loved helping out wherever they could, but they too had lives and jobs. Shay and her friend Sam came over to watch Charlotte often so I could work from my office, but they had lives and jobs too. Thankfully that Noah guy never showed his face but I couldn't be assed with him. He visited Lesra sometimes, but we never seemed to run into each other. I was grateful for that, I liked spending my time with Lesra with just the three of us.
At four months, I had spoiled Charlotte rotten. Whenever she cried, I went in to panic mode making sure she received whatever it was she wanted. I knew that as she got older it would only backfire on me, but I wasn't worried about the future. I was worried about what was happening now. I wanted to be the best father that I could be.
At eight months, Charlotte happily bounced in my lap.
"Do you see your mommy?" I cooed.
She began to bounce and giggle all while drool dribbled down the side of her mouth. I wiped her mouth with her bib and set her down on the bed beside Lesra. Charlotte began to grab at the blue hospital gown her mom wore.
"No don't do that, Lottie," I said, releasing the material from her tightly closed fist.
Lottie frowned and I frowned back at her. However, I couldn't hold the frown any longer and I began to smile at the little girl in front of me.
Her hazel eyes twinkled and her dark curly hair that usually covered her forehead was being held back by a yellow headband that matched the two piece outfit she wore. I was thankful that Lesra took the time to organize her room and stock it with clothes that would fit her even when she reached 12 months.
I pulled the chair closer to the bed and used one hand to hold Charlotte and used the other to entwine my hand with Lesra's.
"Guess what Les, your friend Sam was scouted by a modeling agency all the way in France so he'll be moving there along with Shay and of course, Tone will be following closely behind. He told me that he was going to ask Shay to marry him while they were there so we'll see how that goes."
Baby Charlotte yawned. I picked her up and laid her in my arms.
"On another note, the divorce papers were finalized and i'm finally an unmarried man. Now, I can wholeheartedly be dedicated to you and our daughter and no longer be tied to Shawna. I'm excited for this new chapter in our lives to begin."
There was a knock at the door and in walked Dr. Carey.
"Good afternoon Mr. Cavora. Why looky here, she's gotten so big," he said, motioning to Charlotte who was already fast asleep.
"Good afternoon Doctor. Tell me you're here with good news?"
"Well, not exactly," Dr. Carey answered straight up. "Lesra... has been here eight months now, and her coma hasn't seemed to progress as much as we thought it would. Her neurological tests just came back and she still has very little brain function."
I could feel bile rise in my throat. I quickly swallowed it back down and stood up making sure not to wake the baby. "So what are you about to tell me?"
"We thought she'd wake up by now, but she hasn't. The hospital can only keep a patient on a ventilator for so long before the costs begins to go up."
"And how long it that?" I asked.
"Nine months."
"Then I'll pay everything after."
"Mr. Cavora, that would be over ten thousand dollars for each day. It will add up.."
My eyes widened at the price. Each additional day Lesra was in here was an additional ten thousand dollars. I clenched my jaw. "Don't put me in this situation, Doctor. She just needs more time to wake up on her own."
I was well off but I wasn't a millionaire. If I had to open more warehouses and host more events at them to keep her ventilator still going, then I would. I couldn't let her go. I couldn't.
A month passed, and soon the hospital stopped letting Lesra use the ventilator at a manageable price. I was prepared to pay whatever it costed to keep her heart beating.
.
"Alright, all clean," I sighed. I put Lottie to sit up and she was gone, crawling all over her room. She was a busy body now and was always on the move. But through everything, she was the hope and joy I needed to keep me going forward.
I threw the dirty diaper in the pail and was about to change Charlotte into her pajamas when my phone began to buzz from inside of my pocket.
I took the phone out of my pocket, wondering who would be calling me at this time of the night. I checked the caller I.D and was confused to see that it was a call from the hospital.
"Mr. Cavora?" The older women on the other end spoke.
"Speaking," I replied. Charlotte crawled towards me and used me for support so she could stand up and tug at my hair.
"Hi, this is Dr. Wick," she said. "We need you to come to the hospital immediately."
"I-is something wrong?" I stammered.
"Sir, we need you to come in."
"Just tell me," I barked at her. "Don't sugarcoat it. Just tell me."
Charlotte frowned at my sudden outburst but continued to yank at my hair.
"It's about Ms. Wright. I'm sorry sir, but she didn't make it."
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A/N: Imma let that sink it....
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