*CLINT'S POV*
So Steve told me to wake Peter up for our class. So guess what I'm doing?
I decided to be nice the first time and just shake him a bit.
"Hey, Peter, come on... wake up."
"Shut up, I know it's not 10:00 yet, let me sleep..." He groaned as he rolled over.
"Come on, Pete. Let's go."
He ignores me.
That little brat.
Wait.
I got an idea.
I decide to get Pietro. I spot him on the couch, slouching with a bowl of cereal in his lap, watching Sesame Street.
"Pietro!" I waved to him.
"Huh?" He looked at me expectantly.
I motion him over to me and whisper, "Peter won't get his little ass up."
"But we have to leave in like... 20 minutes." Pietro's eyes widened. "Steve's going to be mad."
"Exactly. That's why I need your help." I smirked at him.
He smiled playfully. "What do you have in mind, Arrows?"
*PETER'S POV*
I heard my door creak open and stuffed my head in my pillow. "Go away!"
Suddenly, my body felt cold and I glanced down to see all the sheets stripped off of my bed. I looked to my doorway and saw Pietro leaning against it with all of my sheets bundled in his arms.
"Come on, man," I sighed.
I heard a noise beside me and next thing I knew, my face was dripping with cold water.
"What the heck, man!" I wiped my eyes to see Clint and Pietro in front of me, laughing hysterically.
"Didn't see that coming, did ya?" Pietro said.
"You can dodge bullets but not a cup of water?" Clint laughed. "I thought you could sense that," he smirked, "you know, with your Peter Tingle."
I groaned. "Don't call it that. Also, it doesn't work this early in the morning... I think."
"Whatever it is," Clint playfully rolled his eyes, "we gotta go. We have that class, remember?" Clint looked at Pietro and smiled.
"Um... what's going on?" Then something clicked.
"Oh God, please don't tell me it's sex education. Trust me, I've already been through the talk."
"You'll see," Pietro winked and zoomed off, Clint following shortly after.
I grudgingly got dressed and decently fixed my hair, then trudged to the living room. The Avengers are all gathered there, talking and getting ready to go. I spot Harley having a conversation with Thor and walk over there.
"And that, my boy, is why strawberry Pop Tarts are superior to the cherry variety." Thor finishes his sentence as I approach. Harley notices me and smiles. "I personally like the Oreo ones," he points out. Thor's eyes widened. "There's Oreo Pop Tarts?! I must have one immediately." He walks off, probably on a quest to find Oreo Pop Tarts.
Harley quietly laughs as he watches Thor walk away, then turns his attention to me.
"Hey cutie," he puts his arm around me.
I turn my head up to look at him. "Do you know what this class we're going to is?"
"No," he shook his head. "I've been trying to get it out of Thor all morning but he kept changing the subject back to Pop Tarts."
I roll my eyes jokingly. "That's Thor for ya."
Our conversation was interrupted by Pops' loud army voice.
"Alright everyone! Time to head down to the auditorium."
I looked at Harley, bewildered, and saw him staring right back at me.
"We have an auditorium?!" We both asked at the same time.
"Yep," Sam butted in between us as we started walking. "You two better get your acting skills together." He walked off.
I glanced at Harley, my heart dropping. "We're acting?"
He looked at me ecstatically. "Awesome, right?!"
"Yeah," I lied, faking a smile, "really great."
I'm already getting pretty good at this.
We entered the auditorium and Pops told us to sit in the front two rows.
A random man bolted through the curtains and scared the shit out of all of us. I jumped and Clint screamed, "Holy fuck!"
"LANGUAGE!"
"Bonjour!" The man started talking with a strong French accent. "My name is Louie von Jacques Gordeau. Welcome to A.S.S.H.A.T., or, Avengers Super Secret House of Acting Training."
I looked at Harley with a judgmental face and he looked like he was trying to contain his laughter.
"Superheroes need acting training just as much as anything else because, in order to be a good liar, you have to know how to act. And you have to know how to lie to save your life."
He leaned over and whispered, "Maybe this will be good. I mean, he is French. He probably knows what he's talking about."
"I am the best in the business, for your information," he nodded to Harley, whose face flashed red, "and I am here to teach you the art of improvisation."
"First," he announced, "I need a volunteer."
Everybody went quiet, looking at each other desperately. I sunk deep into my seat to avoid being seen.
"How about..." Louie looked around for his victim, "you!" He pointed to me and I groaned loudly.
"Nay, you brave volunteer, you will be great for this job."
"I didn't volunteer," I whispered under my breath as I walked onstage.
"Yes, Mr. Parker, and that's what makes you the greatest person for this role."
I stare at him, shocked.
Does he hear everything?
(A/N so... sorry *not sorry* to interrupt, but we saw Spider-Man: Far From Home last night and it was just... wow. damn. it wasn't what either of us were expecting but it was still amazing of course. if you haven't seen it, you definitely should. it's much worth it. no spoilers from us but, just to let you know, the trailers show almost nothing about the actual movie. it's very different. it's a rollercoaster. Tom did so great though, and Jake Gyllenhaal did an incredible job as Mysterio. there's actually a reference from FFH in here, if you can spot it haha. anyway, on with the chapter.)
"Repeat after me," Louie said. I nodded.
*A/N this is a theatre speech exercise that I (Reese) learned, it is about a prisoner being executed, but don't look too far into it ;)*
"To sit in solemn silence on a dull dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life long lock, awaiting the sensation of a short sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block." He said really fast.
"Woah," I stuttered. "Do you mind repeating that?"
"No. I'm done with you now. Shoo, shoo." He rushed me offstage.
"Okay..." I whisper.
I sit next to Harley and I can sense his eyes staring at me. "That was funny," he snickers.
"Shut up," I punch his arm playfully and he yelps in pain.
"Remember you have... super strength..." He stutters.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, are you okay-"
"Just acting," he smirks. "I'm good, aren't I?" He winks.
I scoff and lean back in my seat.
"Okay!" Louie announces. "I'm going to pair you up for our first exercise."
I groan. Harley nudges me. "It'll be okay."
Louie started picking out his pairs: "Harley with Pietro, Clint with Thor, Wanda with Bucky, Steve with Bruce, and then... oh it looks like we have an odd number. Okay then, Peter, Rhodey, and Sam can be one group."
I looked at Rhodey and Sam, who were sitting behind me, and flashed a mock smile.
"Take an area of the room and meet up with your group." Louie said and watched us as we followed his instructions.
After we all got settled, us in the back right corner, Louie gave us our first project.
"I want you and your group to come up with your own original 30 second skit. We will perform them one group at a time after the time is up. You have 15 minutes."
*THIRD PERSON POV*
*THIS IS THE GROUPS PRACTICING THEIR SKITS*
"No, Thor," Clint shook his head and put his face in his hands. "Our skit is not going to be about Pop Tarts."
"Well," Thor retorted, "at least my idea isn't all dark and gloomy like your's."
"Fine," Clint sighed.
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"OMG, your dress is so cute!" Pietro exclaimed in a girly tone.
"Thanks girly! I got it at T.J. Maxx the other day." Harley twirled around.
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"Oh my gosh, this is so fun..." Wanda states in monotone.
"I know, right? So great..." Bucky replies in the same tone.
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"It's lit, yo!" Steve dabs.
Bruce nods whilst doing the floss. "It's gucci broski."
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"Mr. President, I have important news for you and your wife." Sam nods to Rhodey and Peter.
Peter tries to contain his laughter.
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"Alright!" Louie calls. "Your time is up!" He sing-songs.
"Our first group to go will be..." He looks around the room. "How about Harley and Pietro?"
They jump up and whisper excitedly to each other as they walk to centerstage.
Harley is wearing an oversized t-shirt and Pietro is holding a red handbag like a diva.
"Girl! Your dress, is SO cute, I can't even!" Pietro squeals.
"Thanks girly!" Harley flips his imaginary hair and twirls in his "dress." "I got it from T.J. Maxx the other day."
"Oh my God, girl! I just came up with the most fabulous idea! Let's go tomorrow to get me the same dress and we can be... TWINSIES!"
"OH. MY. GOD, GIRL. I can't believe I didn't think of that sooner!" Harley and Pietro turn and grab each other's hands and shriek excitedly.
They turn to the audience, bow dramatically, and walk offstage.
Everyone is laughing hysterically, especially Peter.
"That was excellent!" Louie exclaims. "Now... Thor and Clint!"
Thor runs onstage and Clint groans.
They pretend to walk and Clint pushes an imaginary cart.
Thor mimes putting something in the cart. "Finally! I have the legendary Oreo Pop Tarts!" He slams his hand down and Clint jumps and scoffs.
"We aren't getting Pop Tarts, we have a whole pantry full at HQ. Let's get pancakes." Clint says.
"I am not in need of the pathetic pancakes," Thor booms.
"And neither are you in need of the 'legendary'," he does finger quotes as he stares blankly into the audience, "Oreo Pop Tarts."
Thor gasps. "How dare thy?!"
They drop their act and bow to the audience.
"Well done," Louie says. "Now... Wanda and Bucky!"
They step onto the stage with two pillows, one for each person.
They start to weakly hit each other with the pillows.
"Oh my gosh... this is so fun." Wanda monotones before forcefully whacking Bucky in the head.
"I know right? Best thing ever..." Bucky responds with a blank face and hits Wanda in the side with full strength.
Wanda winces in pain but keeps a weak smile on her face. "Super. Fun." She hits him aggressively with each word and Bucky keeps his straight face.
They turn to the audience, throw the pillows, and walk offstage.
"Wow... interesting... I LOVE it!" Louie shouts. "Now for Steve and Bruce!"
They walk onstage proudly with backward facing caps on their heads.
"Yo, dude, this party is LIT!"Steve shouts as he dances like they're at a party.
"It's gucci my broski!" Bruce responds as he does the floss in front of Steve.
Steve dabs dramatically and Bruce goes "OOOOOOOH!"
Bruce does the "okay" sign down by his waist. "Yo, S, look what I found!"
Steve looks down at Bruce's hand and covers his mouth. "No, bruh, you got me sooo good!"
"You know what that means bro!" Bruce shouts and whacks Steve in the neck.
Steve falls to the ground in pain and laughs. "Good one bro."
Bruce turns to the audience. "And... scene!"
Peter sinks into his seat, embarrassed as Harley and everyone else laugh uncontrollably.
"...Good job. Next!" Louie calls.
Rhodey, Sam, and Peter walk up the stage steps. Rhodey sits and Peter stands next to him. Rhodey has an orange clown wig on and Peter is standing there, straight faced, with a platinum blonde woman's wig on.
Sam opens a pretend door and steps into the room. "Mr. President, I have important news for you and your wife." He nods his head towards Peter and Peter curtsies.
"Go on." He says in a mocking voice.
"Well, sir, it seems that there has been a breach of security in the gardens."
"What does that mean?" Rhodey asked in a stupid voice.
"Porcupines..." Sam whispered and Peter shrieks at the top of his lungs.
"Not in my house!" Peter screams.
Rhodey turns to Peter. "It's my house. I am the President."
"Indeed you are, sir." Sam says quietly, a hint of sadness in his voice.
"What about my purple petunias?" Peter gasps and dramatically faints.
Rhodey turned to the audience. "Women, am I right?"
Everyone claps and laughs as they walk offstage.
"Beautiful work everyone!" Louie shouts. "That's the end of class. See you later!"
Everyone gets up and heads back to the main quarters. They're all talking and laughing about the skits.
Harley runs up to Peter. "See? That wasn't that bad."
"It was embarrassing," Peter giggles.
"But what was more embarrassing," Harley smirked, "seeing your Pops and Bruce act like dumb college frat boys or having to scream about flowers like a girl?"
"For one, it was petunias, get it right." Peter laughed. "And both were equally humiliating."
"I liked mine," Harley said proudly. "I would be an amazing drag queen."
"I don't know Harls... you're no Ru Paul."
Harley looked back, offended. "You don't believe in my drag skills?!" He asked sarcastically.
"Nope," Peter said and chuckled.
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(A/N yo. we wrote this chapter together and I honestly think it was pretty funny. Destiny wants credit for the idea. there will be more cute Parley moments soon. ;) don't worry. we hope you enjoyed the chapter and don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!)
we hope you Midgardians have a BOMB-ASS day! ;)