i loved this book ugh (no it's not the end yet! 1 chapter + epilogue left)
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WEDDING pt. 2
Once Taehyung finally stopped running, he was soaked wet thanks to the fucking rain that came up while being in church. The sky turned grey, sun hidden behind thick, heavy clouds that blocked the light.
Quite dark for the middle of the day, and Taehyung hated it. A little sunlight, he could've really needed that right now.
His legs stopped working as he crashed down under a huge tree, holding himself up at it while he gasped for air, having trouble with breathing. Tears kept cutting his breathing off, made him choke on them and feel like drowning.
Drowning in your own tears-, that's something.
Taehyung never felt like this before. He always was the one having steady ground beneath his feet, strength in his body and his head held up high no matter how much everything hurts. Unlike Jungkook, he never showed the slightest weakness, always acting the best when he felt the worst.
It was something Jungkook learned from no one but him, to smile whenever it hurt the most. In the end it didn't even matter, right? Who cares if you're hurting. All the people want to see are simply results.
They wanna see you doing great in college, keep up with your job and spend your free-time doing voluntary work. Not to forget about the social life that had to be on point or else society would cancel you. There wasn't a single person who cared how you make it. It was just about the result, like everything in life.
So was this.
It didn't matter to Jungkook how much Taehyung gave for him, the sacrifices he made for the younger and the way he always tried so, so hard to be someone to lean on.
Now, after all, it wasn't enough. And no one in this goddamn church cared, their result was Jungkook marrying a girl he never would love the way he loved Taehyung.
Or at least, that's what Taehyung's messed up mind told him.
Honestly-, what else would he be thinking?
He'd never get to the point where he saw the reality as a possibility.
A whole church with their fingers crossed that Jungkook would make it, somehow. Lyza sitting down next to Jimin, holding Taejeon close to her chest while she pushed her heels of her feet and leaned back, hoping she did something right for once.
"You did the right thing", Jimin gave her a soft smile, wrapping his arm around the girl to comfort her. "I owe it to them", she whispered. "I stood there and did nothing the first time, I can't do nothing again."
Jimin nodded, "Let's hope for the best."
"Why did no one tell me earlier how serious this whole thing between them is?", Lyza's father sounded seriously upset as he got up from his seat and walked over to his daughter. "Darling, you'll fine someone better", he promised but the girl shook her head.
"Actually-", she smiled at her Dad, "I'm planning to stay by myself for a while. Once I settled everything with Kook, made plans how to raise the kid, I'll go away for a while. By myself. No boys included."
Her father nodded, "Sounds like the perfect plan, Darling."
"Where's Mom?", she asked when she couldn't see her mother anywhere close. "Left. She said it was a waste of money to save Jungkook's life back then. I told her she can leave after that. It's not okay to say something like that if the kid is literally trying to take his life. I saw his bandages-"
Lyza gulped dryly, "Thanks, Dad."
"Let me take you out for dinner. A ruined wedding isn't exactly what I wished for my daughter at the age of 21. How about a huge family pizza just for the two of us?"
"I'll get fat", Lyza imitated her mother and both broke into laughter. "So what. As long as my girl is happy. Let's go."
He took her hand and they walked out. Taejeon refused, he said he'd stay with Jimin.
"You look like poop", the kid commented, poking Jimin's nose. "I haven't slept in ages", the older sighed, hugging the kid tiredly. "What do you wanna do? It may take a while until your Dad comes back."
"I want to sit next to Jiminie and give him water and cookies and then watch him sleep. Jimin needs to care for himself more", Taejeon explained, grabbing Jimin's small hands which were almost as tiny as the kid's hands.
"You're fucking adorable, Taejeon. I want a kid like you someday-"
"I'm up for adoption, we can set up a contract. My Dad said I won't get a frog. If you buy me one I'm yours."
"Quite cheap, huh?", Jimin joked. "You know what? Let's go buy two frogs. Your Dad deserves it after all!"
Taejeon cheered happily, "Yes!!", he squeaked and danced on Jimin's lap. "Let's go let's go let's go!"
-
"Shit-, Tae what's wrong?!", a girl stopped in her running once she saw Taehyung clenching on the tree. She was jogging but seeing the boy from her class made her stop immediately, turning to him in confusion.
"Jungkook is wrong", Taehyung let out weakly.
"Oh, right. The wedding's today, hm?", she let out a sigh, softly patting his shoulders. "I never would've thought he'd marry anyone but you. After he threw that cocktail at me, I was so sure he's in love with you."
"Same", Taehyung laughed weakly, tears still falling.
"If he would've never done that, none of this would have happened", Taehyung sighed. "We wouldn't have fought, wouldn't have landed in the pool. We would never had sex that night and things wouldn't have turned complicated."
"So it's basically all my fault because I pissed him off?", Mia chuckled.
"Exactly-"
"Well! I thought you're a homophobic asshole who simply wanted to hook up with me because I'm pretty and beloved by everyone", she rolled her eyes playfully, pinching the older's cheeks to wipe his tears away while doing so.
"I'm not an asshole and I've had a crush on you for years", Taehyung sighed. "Nevermind though, it was such a bad idea to let Jungkook handle this."
"It really was."
Taehyung shrugged, "At least I learned something from all of this", he let out a sigh. "What would that be?", she tilted her head, her black hair falling back softly.
"That sometimes, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want it, some things just aren't supposed to work out. Like me and Jungkook, we'll always be unfinished business."
"You never really tried", Mia sighed.
"He said yes, Mia. He agreed on marrying her. They're probably busy kissing now and everyone's cheering for him. Probably not even thinking of me."
Mia sighed and hugged him, "I'm sorry", she whispered. "I wish I could help."
Taehyung bit his lips, "No one can, it's okay."
-
No, he needed flowers. Jungkook had to get flowers-, and chocolate. Yes, chocolate. Something to impress Taehyung, he couldn't get there with empty hands.
He stopped in his steps at the nearest store and ran in. "Roses. I need roses. A bouqet of roses!"
"You look like you just flee from a wedding-", the boy in the store chuckled as he started putting the flowers together.
"I literally did", Kook breathed out.
"Shit, was it that boring? Who got married?"
"No one. It was my own wedding", Jungkook hummed, "Hurry up. Come on, I have no time for this!"
The boy rolled his eyes, "Shit you're not doing one of those movie stunts where you crush your own wedding to run after your affair?"
"That's exactly what I'm doing, now hurry the fuck up, Felix."
"Damn, you know my name", the freckles boy giggled and got a little slower with the bouqet to annoy Jungkook. "Of course I do, you're the kid who got the teachers to help us when I got knocked out in elementary school."
"Amazing brain you have."
He handed him the flowers. "Go get Tae. We've been waiting", he winked and Jungkook rushed out of the store, running along the street as fast as he could. He knew where Taehyung might be.
Good thing was, he always ran to the park because he liked being around people and animals, it gave him strength.
So he had quite an idea where to start looking for Taehyung.
-
Mia glanced at her phone as her eyes widened, "Tae", she voiced quietly. "My friends who were at the wedding just texted me-"
"Nice. Congrats to the freshly married couple", Taehyung grumbled bitterly.
"That's the thing-", a huge smile crawled onto her lips. "They're not married!!"
Taehyung felt like losing the ground beneath his feet all over again. World started spinning, way too fast and his heart speeded up. "He changed his mind?", he asked in a small voice.
"Lyza did", Mia hummed. "Lyza didn't say Yes."
The boy nodded and looked away, disappointment taking over him. It wasn't him who stopped this whole thing. Lyza did. Of course she did, no girl would want to marry a boy who's in love with another boy. Jungkook could've never been the man she wished for. All girls wanted was someone to hold them, to be a strong chest to lean on.
Jungkook himself needed all of that, he couldn't give it to someone.
"Jungkook left the church", Mia continued talking while looking at her phone. "Tae! I think he's coming for you!", her eyes widened but Taehyung's face stayed blank.
"A little too late for that."
Mia sighed, "Tae-, honestly. That's all you ever wanted, he could be yours. Don't be dumb. Don't push him away, just because of how you got together in the end. Does it matter so much who stopped this wedding?"
"Actually? Yes it does", Taehyung laughed weakly. "I told him beforehand that if he says yes, I'll be gone. If she would've said yes, they'd be married by now and he wouldn't have done shit about it."
Mia bit her lips, "You're right", she whispered. "You're right."
She pulled him into another hug, laying her chin down on his shoulders.
"Is there anything I can do to cheer you up? Since it's kinda my fault that all of this happened-"
Taehyung thought for a moment. "Wanna hang out sometime?"
She chuckled quietly, "Don't tell me you're still crushing on me!"
Taehyung laughed a little, "No! Don't worry, just hanging out as friends-"
"Sounds like a great idea", she smiled softly.
While they were hugging, Jungkook reached the park. He immediately spotted Taehyung. But when he saw the boy laughing while holding this dumb girl called Mia in his arms, Jungkook stopped and his shoulders fell.
There he was, standing there with roses while looking like the biggest idiot. His suit accidentally ripped by running against a door on his way here, hair in a mess and his eyes full of tears.
Taehyung looked okay, he seemed absolutely fine holding the girl he always liked. Even a smile on his precious face.
Too late.
That's all that went on in Jungkook's mind. He dropped the flowers and just kept standing there for a while. Until Taehyung's eyes met his after some while. Jungkook immediately teared up while Taehyung gave him a smile.
A tired one, but it was a smile.
Kook felt like running away, every single inch of his body screaming at him to just leave and let Taehyung be happy. He'd be fine without him, he'd move on. Yet Jungkook forced himself to walk closer, sniffling quietly. The boy didn't know what it was that made him keep going, heading towards Taehyung and Mia, but somehow he knew he'd always regret it if he wouldn't try.
Taehyung stepped away from Mia, turning towards Jungkook, time felt like freezing as they walked straight into the other's arms. Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook while Kook broke into tears, pressing his face into Taehyung's neck, sobbing heavily.
Mia quickly walked away, she didn't want to interfer in this.
"Tae", Jungkook sniffled after holding onto the older for about ten minutes, clinging as much as possible on his body. "Ggukie", Taehyung hummed quietly and stepped back.
"It's over", the younger let out and Taehyung nodded. While they were talking about the wedding, both of them knew that wasn't the only thing they meant with that. "I know", Taehyung whispered quietly. "I know I know.."
Jungkook broke into tears all over again, "I bought flowers but I dropped them-"
"It's okay", Taehyung assured him, pulling him back into his arms once again. "Everything's okay now", he promised, tearing up himself.
They went silent for another while, trying to make this moment last a little longer. "Will we be okay?", Jungkook questioned anxiously, fingers gripping on his wrists as he stepped back.
Taehyung gave him a nod. "Of course you and I will be fine", he sighed and Jungkook got it.
There was no we anymore.
Jungkook's shoulders dropped, "Mia's a nice girl."
"She is", Taehyung smiled. "But not my type anymore", he added, softly brushing along Jungkook's cheeks. "I'll stay by myself for a while, maybe move in with Jimin now he's broken up with his boyfriends."
Jungkook nodded, "Sounds good.."
"I'll try to get a job at some photography studio", Taehyung added, "And I'll throw the alcohol away."
"You'll be fine, I see", Jungkook forced a smile, eyes trailing to the ground. "You will be too."
Taehyung hugged him again.
"We'll stay friends, yeah?"
"Sure."
Well, they wouldn't. Both of them knew that.
"Why can't we be more than friends? There's nothing in our way anymore", Jungkook asked in a small voice, trying one last time to turn things around.
But Taehyung shook his head, stepping back. Tears falling off his cheeks as he pressed a small kiss onto Jungkook's cheeks. "I love you, Jungkook."
Jungkook nodded, "I love you too, Tae."
"But I'm not going to be second choice. Not after all I've done for us, Kook. I love you so fucking much, fuck it's killing me to walk away from you while being so hardly in love with your pretty face, those lips and your giggles and the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. I love you, Kookie, but I did enough. I deserve better after all."
Jungkook nodded bluntly, he got it.
"You bring nothing but pain onto me. Loving you was the worst thing I ever did and I don't think it's meant to be if it hurts so much to get there."
The younger nodded again, "I understand."
"You'll be fine", Taehyung sniffled, wiping Jungkook's tears away. "And I'll be fine too, yeah?"
And that's how the two of them realized one thing; as much as you love someone, sometimes love just isn't enough.
"Thank you", Jungkook let out weakly after standing there awkwardly for a while. "For what?", Taehyung asked quietly.
"For showing me what love feels like."
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