Chapter 46.1: I Need This
April
continued...
"You want the long version or the short version" April chuckled.
"We got nothing but time. Fill me in" Twin replied as he sat back and got comfortable.
"Business wise shit is great. I really can't complain. I have my hands in a bunch of stuff as always. I actually dropped some new software on New Years which was a huge success and now I'm working on a new project that I put on hold until I go back to work. You know my ass stays with a side hustle so I'm also working on a business plan for that as well but I'm tryna get all my ducks in a row before I talk it up" she said then took a sip of her drink.
"I have to say I'm proud of you too Lil Foot. You know I was always by ya side telling you and pushing you to do the damn thing and for you to hit the status that ya at now is a crazy ass blessing. My Lil Foot slash geek slash hustle woman done turned into a fuckin billionaire" he whispered the last part cheesing.
"Word you were definitely there motivating and helping me focus. I was always into my studies but you were there pushing me to do more which I appreciated. As far as my personal life I already know you know bout Chris and me. That shit was sweet as fuck in the beginning until that shit turned sour but that's neither here or there. Besides we make better friends anyway. Other than that I'm single, single as fuck" she shrugged. It is what it is.
"Thing 2 graduated from college not too long ago and now she's living in LA with her boyfriend. She's an elementary teacher. Hazel's crazy ass is still around she has her own clothing line and model agency. She's doing good. I'm pretty sure I don't have to fill you in on my parents since y'all have been secretly seeing each other behind my back" she playfully cleared her throat.
He laughed. "That's what's up. I'm glad Thing 2 and 3 are doing good but I want to hear more bout you. Somethings different or off bout you" he spoke honestly. He was never one to hold his tongue especially when it came to April. They had that type of relationship and friendship.
April looked up at him and sighed. At that very same moment her eyes watered and her nose burned for a second but she wasn't about to cry. She was done with shedding tears. She had cried more than enough. "I guess nothing still gets pass you" she chuckled again. "I've been trying to get my personal life together. That's why I'm here in Jamaica. I took a leave of absence for a month so I could do some soul searching and find myself again. I honestly feel lost and I don't feel like me anymore. I've been through hell and back these past few years. Basically I've pretty much been keeping shit to myself and bottling everything in which you know isn't me but I guess love makes you do some stupid things. I recently cleared the air with who I considered my number one problem and I've had another failed relationship after that. Honestly all of my relationships seem to be fails. Not to mention I suffered a miscarriage years ago and pretty much just told everyone bout it and now I fell in love with a nigga I can't have. I'm living in a LifeTime movie right now" April laughed but nothing she said was funny. Her life had really turned into a real live movie.
She was just tired of crying over shit she had no control over. April knew she could still tell Twin any and everything on her mind. He never judged her and when he was there he always listened. Twin just sat there looking at her. She knew that he knew she needed someone to talk to that would actually listen to her without her feeling like a broken record. She knew that he also knew that she looked like she was strong and had everything together on the outside but she was fragile as hell at the moment.
"How bout we get out of here and take a stroll on the beach and just talk or go back to ya place...either or" he suggested.
April gave him a small smile. He was still the same old Twin. "I'm cool Twin you're on vacation and I'm getting my shit together. I'm not tryna be a Debbie downer. We can leave though but let's talk bout old shit"
Twin just eyed her as he signaled the waitress over. He paid for their meals and they took what they didn't eat to go. The ride back was silent and a smidge tense but April knew it was her fault for fucking up their little atmosphere. April wished she had just sugarcoated shit but knowing Twin he was probably still able to read between the lines and read the fuck out of her. Walking her back to her place in silence they approached her front door and April unlocked it.
"I guess you're coming in" she looked back at him.
"You already know" he followed her inside and straight to kitchen where she placed their leftovers in the fridge.
"Come on we can go out by the pool and talk"
"Bet" he followed behind her until they got to the outside daybed and settled in respecting each other's space. April didn't want any of those problems or cause any problems for him.
"Aight Lil Foot unload on me. Fill a nigga in" he looked at her causing her to smile and think about the many days they spent like this just laid up and talking about any and everything.
"I would've rolled up but I'm on a cleanse" she chuckled. Twin was the one who taught her how to roll a blunt to perfection. They spent many high filled nights together just talking about life, laughing, smiling for no damn reason, and killing snacks when the munchies kicked in.
"You good now stop stalling"
April sighed. "Ok" and with that she filled him in on her relationship with Chris but only gave him enough as she shared some of the good, bad, and ugly. She told him about Jr, the beef she had with Trey, and now they were on Dave. She didn't say who he was she kept that information to herself but she knew he'd be able to find out if he was into social media and surprisingly April still hadn't shed not one single tear while she filled him in.
"So what's stopping you from being with the nigga you fell in love with" Twin asked.
"He has a baby mama who was paying him dust and kicking his back in until she met me. She knew we were talking but I'm guessing she didn't think it was serious until the day she met me. He wanted well we both wanted me to meet her since I was going to be around their child. I wanted to be respectful you know let her know that I wasn't there to cause any riffs. I wasn't there to take him away from spending time with his child. Basically letting her know that I would treat their child as if she was my own yet still know my boundaries. I kid you not the day after I met her she was on the Gram talking shit bout how much she missed him, loved him, wanted to work on their family, and how she'd fight for her family" April rolled her eyes. The shit was pissing her off all over again.
"I was in LA getting rid of my baggage while she was literally plotting and scheming on how to get him back and fuck up our relationship. By the time I came back home she was still on her bullshit and showing out. I was already in my feelings. I was dealing with Chris, our son, and the shit show with Trey so by the time I came back I ended the relationship. I was no way capable or in the right frame of mind to deal with a bitter baby mama. The way I was feeling no good would've came out of it if I let loose on her. She'd a got an ass whooping for the way I felt bout Chris, the lose of my child, and the way I felt bout Trey. Let's not forget that I already owed her an ass whooping for being a sneaky bitch"
"Any, who I told ole boy that it was fun while it lasted after we had been kicking it heavy for months and only been official for literally a few days. I knew his baby mama wasn't going anywhere and she was gonna be more harm than good so I told him to work on his family and pretty much pushed him back into her arms" April spoke as Twin sat there and listened to every last word she said never interrupting her. He let her speak and get everything out.
"I knew he low key wanted to try his family out one last time even if he denied it. So before things went too far I let him go. Most days I regret it and some days I know I made the right decision but it hurts to know that I can't have the one person who makes me happy. I know everything he told me and all of the conversations we had that no lies were told besides him wanting to work on his family. He meant the things he said but he still had baggage and needed to figure out what to do with it. But like I told Uncle Reek I'm almost 28. I have no kids besides Jr of course and no man. I don't bother anybody. I don't start trouble. I put positive vibes out. I help any and everybody with nothing in return and yet I have everything I could ever want or need except someone to love me, love me wholeheartedly with no strings attached" April glanced at him and then out at the ocean.
"And what makes that nigga so special" Twin questioned. "And before you answer I want you to really think bout it"
"That's the thing I don't have to think bout it. I feel it and know it in my soul and in my heart that he's my person. My heart beats its own song for him and butterflies swarm throughout my stomach whenever he's near. I could be going through hell and as soon as I hear his voice everything is right in my world. I get goosebumps and my hairs stand on end when he touches me. When we talk he listens and no matter how much he's into me he doesn't sugar coat shit. He gives me the real" she spoke with so much passion and confidence. There was no thinking when it came to how Dave made her feel. April knew for a fact that David Lawrence Brewster Jr was hers. He might have not been all of hers or hers at the moment but he was hers.
"When it comes to marriage I see it with him. I see him waiting for me at the end of the aisle. Whenever I envision my husband I see him. When it comes to building a foundation, a family, and kids I see it with him and guess what...I never even gave him the kitty. We've come close many times but every time we got to that point he halts it because he rather make sure that our foundation is based on friendship and us getting to know each other instead of being a relationship based on sex. We knew for a fact that we were both physically and sexually attracted to each other but we wanted more. I didn't want another relationship like I had with Chris and he didn't want one like he had with his baby mama. With him it feels like home and I'm safe in his arms. He wants what's best for me"
"Point taken I get it...so you really are into him" Twin kept his eyes on her and chuckled. He could even tell that she had it bad for him.
April laughed. "Absolutely...I never thought that I could fall so hard and so fast for anyone. Shit I always questioned people who said it was love at first sight. Trust it wasn't love at first sight for us but the first time we embraced I felt a shock so strong and so deep that it ran throughout my entire body and he felt the very same thing" she smiled thinking about the first time Dave came to her house. It was the very first time they shared something as simple as a hug but the feeling that she felt when they embraced each other was electrifying. April had never felt something that strong with Twin or Chris. This feeling was a new feeling and a feeling she wanted to experience everyday. "So spit ya shit and diagnose me captain" she laughed.
"Ya ass don't forget shit" he joined her. That was the same line they would use when they needed to talk and get some advice from one another.
"Nope, so lay it on me" she took off her sandals and got comfortable as she now sat beside him now facing him as she sat criss cross apple sauce making sure that her dress wasn't exposing her goodies. Then again it wasn't like he hadn't seen it before but April was being respectful.
"First off you're very much in love and I know you know that you can't help who you fall in love with whether they have baggage or a clean slate. But I think this time apart from each other is a good thing though. He can focus on his family and figure out if his baby mama is who he wants to be with. You know is she really worth losing who he knows is the perfect woman for him. Is she really worth throwing a woman like you away? So let him figure that out. If y'all have the connection that you say y'all have then y'all will be back together when he realizes that yes his child's happiness matters but so does his. No matter what he does to fix their relationship if he's not happy he'll run that shit right into the ground" he stopped and started back up.
"We get so stuck on our ages and what we think we're supposed to have or accomplished by a certain age that some of us forget to live. So ya love life isn't where you want it to be and you don't have a family so what. Life is what you make it. Shit happens every day. You live with it, learn from it, and roll with the punches no matter how much they hurt. It could either make you or break you it's your choice. The girl I grew up with and use to date was tougher than most of the people I knew. I know she's still in there its bout time you let her back out" he pointed to her heart. "You forget that you're a force to be reckoned with. As soon as you remember that you'll be A OK" he looked her dead in the eyes wanting to make sure she soaked in everything that he said. He needed her to hear his words and take heed to them. She was stronger than what she believed she was.
"You said you're here to do some soul searching but we both know that you know who you are already. That shit don't change. You got wrapped up in a nigga that wasn't worth ya time. You let him dim ya light Lil Foot. It's time for you to take ya power back and shine like the diamond that you know you are. You're beautiful inside and out. You always were and always will be beautiful. It's time to let the world see. So what the one you want is in a fucked up relationship at the moment don't ever stop ya life for a nigga EVER. I don't give a fuck who he is or what he means to you. Enjoy this time you have by ya self. Keep doing what you've been doing since you've been out here. Do whatever makes you happy and worry bout ya self. Be selfish for once in ya life. You got enough money to do whatever you want to do. Live ya life for ya self and let everything else fall into place on its own. Remember number two is not an option. Your worth so much more and if he doesn't see that than that niggas a fool"
"How can we not see each other all these years and you still manage to get me right and give me life" she shook her head smiling brightly. She needed to hear every bit of what he said.
"Do you not remember all the times you had my back? By the time we met ya pops was out of the game and you were straight and yet you never judged me or my family's situation. Every time I needed you, you were there no questions asked. You made life better for me. You saw what my family was going through and still you were there right by my side. You never wavered. You never looked down on me no nothing. Ya ass was making drops with me even when I told ya ass no but you always managed to talk me into letting you come. Ya lil ass was the Bonnie to my Clyde. Not to mention I owe ya ass a few grand" he said. He never once took his eyes off of her. April couldn't help but giggle because she remembered it all. She had always been a rider. If her man was riding for her than she was most certainly riding for him? She got it honest. She got the shit from her mother.
"You know I know it was you who added that extra money to my rainy day funds. Can you imagine how a nigga looked when I counted three extra thousand? I knew it was you. It had to be you" Twin smiled. April had unknowingly helped save his life. That money had helped out his family and helped in his schooling.
"Like you said I knew ya lifestyle and what you were going through. My family was well off by then. Ya ass would never accept my money if I had handed it to you. But since I knew we wouldn't be around each other anymore since we were breaking up I stopped by ya place and told Mama I needed to get something out of ya room. You know she loved me so of course she let me inside and I planted the money in the box. I knew it wasn't much but I couldn't let you go without making sure you were good for a lil while longer"
"See ya always looking out for people just because shit doesn't seem right, right now all the good shit that you did and do will come back to you tenfold. I promise you that. And that three grand I got you"
"Skrtttt I don't want that back. I gave it to you because I wanted you to have it. I'm straight and besides you used it for something good. If anything put it in the bank for ya lil chocolate babies" she smiled. April really didn't want or need that money back.
"At least let me make it up to you"
"You have already. I needed this day and this talk. It's different talking to people who already know bout the situation but you knew nothing bout it so you couldn't judge and you gave me just what I needed...clarity. It's bout time I live my life and stop worrying bout shit I can't control."
"I'll always be there when ya need me now that I've found you again" Twin said and April knew there was no lie told. He wasn't that type of person. If he said he was going to be there then he was going to be there.
"Still the same ole Twin" she couldn't help but smile at him. Between the talk April had with her uncle and the talk she just had with Twin it was everything she needed to hear.
"You already know" he shrugged.
"I feel like I stole you away from ya boy's trip" April pouted. She didn't want him to waste anymore time on her and her problems when he was supposed to be on a vacation loving his best life and having fun.
"Ya good Two already knew what it was when I bumped into you. Shit they all knew what it was" he chuckled.
April laughed. "Shit I'm surprised Two didn't tag along. I know it's not just you and Two. So who y'all here with" she asked.
"Trust he was trying to tag along but I told him nah. It's me, Two, Tone, and Will. Where here for a week though so you'll definitely see him you know how he is"
April laughed. "Cool so how bout we have a lil barbecue at my place and we can all catch up" April suggested.
"Sounds good"
"Bet"
For the next few hours April and Twin chilled and reminisced about the old days that they shared together. All the while April couldn't help but be glad that he bumped into her. His words hit hard to the point they damn near stung. They made her think and reevaluate her and Dave's situation. She didn't know if she was down to be number two when she should've been number one. Whatever the case maybe whether she ended up alone, with Dave, or with someone else she would no longer forget who she was and let a man define her happiness. She would no longer let anyone take her to a dark place where she felt lost or question her worth. She would no longer be who she once was. There would be no more settling when she deserved the world.
April knew she was a damn good person and she deserved a lot more but she was cool. She knew that what she was going through was a wake up call. Her self worth was way more than anyone could afford. It was priceless. If no man could see that than oh well she would be fine and she was going to make sure of it. As far as Dave she still had high hopes for him but he had better get with the program and soon before he misses his chance with the one woman who was made for him just like he was made for her. There was no telling what the future held but one thing for sure April was no longer going to play the waiting game and wait for Dave to wake up. April was going to live her life and enjoy it. She was going to reap the benefits of the life she made for herself. She was going to have fun and she was going to love on herself like no man could ever. Like her uncle said she deserved it and she earned it!
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-Happy Reading guys...hope you enjoy 😊
-As you can see Twin was just who she needed to lift her spirits, let her know what was what, and help whip her back into shape.
-Sounds like a brand new April is about to be born or rather awake!
-How are y'all feeling the talk she had with Twin 🤔
-Sounds like Dave better get his shit together before it's too late 🤷🏾♀️
-Any, who most of y'all questions like is April 🤰🏾and is there a 🐍 should be answered in about the 3rd or 4th chapter after this one. I have an idea that I want to put out before the next chapter I already have written so please be patient because the 🤰🏾🐍 is already written but like I said it'll be the 3rd or 4th chapter after this one because I know y'all are tired of waiting 😂 sorry 🥰 there's a method to my madness 😝
-You know the drill sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries 😊
-If you are reading and not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please and thank you 🥰