Chapter 46: I Need This
April
Stop, where am I,
Shock, I can't cry
Pop, I need some space
No, this isn't me
Oh, please let me breathe
I'll be back sooner than you know
I need this space just like you need air
I need this time, time to clear up my mind
Wait, did you hear that? Sh
Hear my heart beat? Sh
I need this feeling, whoa yeah, I really need this
[I Need This: Chris Brown]
Relaxed, fresh out the tub and shower April dried off, and made her way to the bed skipping putting on lotion for the night or putting on any sleepwear. She was tired and hungry but food had to wait sleep was calling her name. As soon as she lay in bed and buried herself up under the covers and her head hit the pillow it was supposed to be lights out or so she thought. Her mind was filled with nothing but Dave as she tossed and turned as her stomach growled. It was at that very moment that she knew the sandman wouldn't be visiting her tonight.
April got out of bed, put lotion on, and slipped into a long black silk nightie with the matching silk robe. She made sure it was secure and headed out the bedroom and downstairs to the kitchen. Shit she was woke she mind as well feed herself. April grabbed a bowl of fresh fruit that she had cut up earlier, put some in a smaller bowl, and once she was done she headed back outside the house and took a seat on the outside daybed. That had become her favorite spot.
April sat up snacking on her fruit as she listened to the water crash back and forth against itself. The sky lit up with millions of stars and the lights outside her place made it feel relaxing yet romantic. Oh how she wished she was laid up in someone's arms sharing this perfect moment with them. But as soon as the thought popped up in her head she quickly dismissed it. She felt like she needed to talk to someone. You know someone who would listen to everything she had to say and take away the constant and nagging reminder that she and Dave were no longer together. She wanted to talk to someone who would make her laugh and distract her.
April knew just who to call and was happy she had grabbed her phone at the last minute. Just as she was about to hit his contact to FaceTime him she sighed and shook her head. April didn't want to get into the habit of running to Chris whenever she was seeking happiness, laughter, or even a clear head no matter how significant their friendship was. She didn't want to depend on him in that way even though she knew she could call him for anything and he would always be there. That was one of the ways he had eased his way into her life the first time around. Placing her phone down April looked up at the night sky and took a deep breath low key mad at the world but she was going to be alright. She was going to make it. Shit took time but she was eventually going to get there. One day her heart would repair itself and be completely healed and that was something she couldn't wait for.
"What's on ya mind shawty doo wop" her uncle NyReek said as he lay down beside her swiping a piece of fruit along the way.
April looked at him and gave him a small smile. He was head of her security team and wanted to be there for her during this trip since she was traveling alone. "You mean who" she chuckled.
"It's Brewster Jr ass ain't it" he looked at her and chuckled. He knew she had it bad for him.
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't" she sighed and pouted. "I feel like a love struck teenager who finally gets a chance with her crush only to find out he wasn't what she thought he would be and it sucks. I don't understand why everyone gets their happy ending or happiness in general besides me. Granted my life isn't bad by any means and I have a lot to be grateful for but personal wise it isn't where I would like it to be. I'm about to be 28. I have my own place. I run my own company. I make my own money and still I'm single with no kids besides Jr and the man I want is too busy trying to fix a broken home with a woman he doesn't even want" she listed off everything.
"I get it. He's doing it for his daughter and I did call it quits but damn" April sighed as she looked out into the ocean. "Or shit it would be great to just be able to get him out of my system and mind period. Like is there a way to erase him from my whole memory bank and get back all the time I wasted on someone who wasn't ready for me like I was for them"
NyReek sat up and leaned back against the headboard keeping his eyes on her almost as if he was studying her. He just like everybody else knew April was sad, disappointed in Dave, and suffering from a broken heart. He wished he could make it better but he knew he couldn't but what he could do was give her some advice.
"Listen I've seen you stress over a nigga before and it was over a nigga who didn't deserve you. Chris is cool but he wasn't it for you. You like/love Dave and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way bout you but what I won't allow you to do is stress over another nigga. He's living his life and you need to live yours. If it's meant to be it will be but until then do you and enjoy the life that you created for yourself. You're in Jamaica by yourself doing some soul searching so go ahead and find yourself while you have the chance to. Throw away the idea of having a man out the window for a lil while and just enjoy being by yourself while you can. There's nothing and no one here to stop you from learning to love yourself more. There's nothing and no one here to steal your joy. No work, no friends, and no family well besides me" he lightly chuckled.
"This is a trip for you. Like you said you're almost 28, you got ya own place, run ya own company, got ya own bag, no kids, and no man. The way I see it is you better enjoy this time to yourself while it lasts before God blesses you with everything you want and desire whenever he feels the time is right. Once kids and a man come into play you'll never be able to just up and leave the states or anything like this and not be bothered for a month. Enjoy it! You deserve it. You've earned it and you need this time alone" NyReek spoke with his eyes still glued to hers.
"I've been watching you writing, going out for morning runs, no liquor, and no weed. Continue to cleanse yourself and get back to the April we all know, love, and miss. Get back to being you. Everything else will fall into place once you get into a healthy space mentally, physically, and emotionally. You're still young and it might seem as though you're missing out but you have time before your happy ending comes along. So like I said enjoy it" Uncle NyReek looked at her and then back up at the sky as he snagged another piece of fruit. April couldn't disagree because what he had said was right but sometimes shit was a little harder said than done. She was listening though.
"I love ya lil ass as if you were my own I promise things will get better. Shit they already have. You've finally let someone in after all the bullshit you went through with Chris and although it didn't work out you've finally took that leap of faith with someone new. Let David go. Let him be. Let him do what he thinks is the right thing to do. You're baggage free he isn't and once he realizes how toxic and vile his baggage is and finally gets rid of it things will turn around for the best...trust me"
April looked at her uncle and cheesed. "Unkie you're the fuckin best"
"I know I know" he laughed and patted his shoulder. "Another thing though"
April raised her brow. "Yes" she popped a piece of fruit in her mouth.
"Ya slipping you need to toughen up some. I know you're tryna be an adult bout the situation but I know what you're capable of. The April I know would've dealt with her dude's baby mama no matter what she was going through. Now I ain't saying murk the bitch but you would've handled her ass by now. She sees you as her number one threat that's why she keeps talking shit but she won't dare step to you. It just might be time to shake her up a bit. You did do her ass dirty on Instagram though" he laughed. "But chicks like her don't get the memo like that"
April laughed. Everybody was use to her being a hothead and ready to drag a bitch like she use to when she was younger. But nowadays she felt like she was too old to be acting a damn fool just because someone else was throwing a temper tantrum. Knowing April, NyReek had absolutely nothing to worry about because April was going to handle Millie anyway she saw fit and on her own time.
"Unkie I understand where ya coming from and trust me I'm already on it. I've been laying low for a while now trying to keep the peace but just because I'm quiet doesn't mean that I'm not plotting" she chuckled because she was already working on it. There was no escape when it came to getting her hands on Millie. She was definitely going to catch those hands no questions asked.
"Say less...now finish eating, then go take ya ass to bed. If you still can't sleep think bout all the good shit that you have going on in ya life. Ya life ain't bad not even by a long shot. Remember a man doesn't make you. It'll happen when it's supposed to happen" he rose from the daybed and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight I love you"
"I love you too unkie goodnight and thanks for being here for me"
NyReek just nodded his head, smiled, and walked away leaving April to do exactly what he said and guess what? Her ass went right to sleep.
*******
April woke up with a smile on her face and a little pep in her step. After talking to her uncle sleep came easy for her. At first it was a little difficult but once she started counting her blessings like he said she was out like a light. Getting up and handling her morning hygiene she slipped on a pair of purple camouflage leggings with the matching sports bra, slipped on a pair of white ankle socks, and slipped into a pair of purple and white Jordan 12's. Once she was dressed she strapped on her armband, slipped her phone into it, grabbed her headphones, and headed out the bedroom and down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Bottle in her hand she made her way to and out the front door as she greeted her security team along the way. Normally she'd write in her journal first and then run but she felt the strong urge to switch it up. April did a few stretches before she took flight down the beach as music filled her ears. She felt good.
She didn't have a specific music playlist but the music that was playing was on point. She didn't have to skip a song not once. Between the music, the scenery, and people out and about enjoying the weather and having some fun in the sun April felt at ease. She felt calm. Stopping at the end of the beach she took a few deep breaths and took a few sips of water.
"Mind if I join you" she heard someone ask coming from behind her.
Turning around she looked up at the man who use to make the teenage her melt and butterflies swarm throughout her stomach. She smiled. April genuinely smiled as she jumped into his arms and yes he caught her. "Twinnnnn" she dragged out in a singsong voice making him laugh as he spun her in a circle.
"Lil Foot I was wondering when you'd realize it was me" he chuckled and kissed her forehead placing her back on the ground.
"I was pissed that you pushed me. I don't even know why you had a football in ya hand anyway knowing damn well it was the wrong sport. Ya shit is basketball you should stick with what ya know" she joked but was telling the truth. Twin was damn good when it came to basketball, football not so much.
"Ouch" he laughed.
"You'll be aight" she laughed. "I didn't realize it was you until I stepped foot inside the house. I mean you did some growing up since the last time I saw you. You changed ya hair, packed on some weight, and more muscle. You look like a grown ass man. The Twin I remember stayed with a fade had one tattoo and a baby face with that lil patch of chin hair. You were always handsome but you done glowed up on a bitch" April said and laughed.
"Damn you coming for me and a nigga ain't even send for you" he laughed.
"I'm just saying you switched up on me but it's a good look. I approve" she smiled as she looked him up and down taking him all in. He was sexy as fuck on his grown man shit.
Twin laughed. "Thanks Lil Foot you're still looking as beautiful as I remember. You got a lil glow to you. I see you did some filling out as well" this time he checked her out from head to toe drinking her all in. "It's a good look though. You always looked good but now you got some extra cake back there. I can see that ass from the front"
"Well you know" she did a little pose sticking out her tongue and laughed. "Back in the day I'd throw this shit around in a circle or two for you for the hell of it but I can't be doing shit like that no more. You might be taken or some shit and I don't need any more drama in my life"
"That shit use to bounce just right though especially when you use to be riding this shit backwards" he chuckled and smirked. "Let me behave myself"
April burst out laughing. "Boy bye please do...I'm fuckin done with you"
"I'm just saying" he raised his hands. "If you say yes to breakfast or dinner we can catch up" he raised his brow.
"Hmm, how bout dinner I'm free then. I need to do some shit once I get back in"
"Sounds good to me" he took his phone out of his Ralph Lauren Polo trunks and passed her his phone. April added her information and passed him back his phone. "How does 5 or 6 sound"
"6 is good. You know where I'm staying at. Just ring the bell. I'll tell security to be expecting you"
"Bet"
"Well I need to finish my run. Are you joining or just talking shit" April raised her brow and smirked.
"Damn and I was the one who got ya lil ass to start running" he chuckled. "But yea let's see what ya got. See if you still got it in you" he joked.
"Boy bye" she rolled her eyes and took off running back towards where she started with a smile still on her face. She knew it would take him little to no time to catch up. When they were dating they use to run mornings at Weequahic Park all the time. Twin was on the basketball team so he had to keep in shape and April being down for her man she would tag along and actually run and work out with him.
Morning run over and done with April and Twin stood at her front door looking at each other. There were no feelings involved. They were just happy to finally see and be around each other after being apart for so long.
"So I'll see you around 6 and make sure ya lil ass ready Lil Foot. I ain't bout to spend hours waiting on ya ass" he was serious. He remembered how long she used to take getting ready and he wasn't here for it not then and not now.
"Chill stop coming for me...I'll be ready just make sure ya on time"
"Bet" he pecked her forehead and watched as she entered the house.
April went straight to the kitchen, washed her hands, and went to the fridge taking out everything she needed to make a green smoothie. Yea she was on her Dave shit. She wasn't on that wheat bark but she was definitely down for some grass mixed with a little fruit. The smoothie was just to hold her over until she felt like eating a solid meal. Smoothie made, April cleaned up her mess, took her vitamins, and headed upstairs to her bedroom. Taking her journal and bible out she went and took a seat at the desk that was stationed in her bedroom. April wrote down how she was feeling at the moment and then read the bible for a little while, while she finished her smoothie. Once she was finished she put everything back and went to take a shower. She was still feeling good and now she felt fresh and clean.
Before she knew it 6 o'clock had arrived and Twin was on time. Luckily for him April was ready and looking radiating as ever in a navy blue sundress that not only complimented her chocolate brown complexion but it also complimented every curve of her body just right. She had took her two cornrows out and styled her hair in a neat high curly bun and made sure her edges were nice, neat, and intact. She had on a few accessories as well. Pairing it with a few gold bracelets, diamond stud earrings, and a few gold stack rings. On her feet was a pair of gold colored sandals. April was not only looking good but she knew it and she felt it.
"You look beautiful Lil Foot" Twin said as he eyed her up and down.
"Thank you. You don't look too bad ya self" this time she took the time to check him out and bay bae if her heart wasn't beating for someone else and if she knew for a fact that he wasn't fuckin with someone she'd be ready to jump his bones on the spot. He was dressed in a crisp white short sleeve shirt that had a little bit of the Kanye bum look to it with light blue destressed jean shorts that he paired with some red kicks as a few gold chains finished off his look.
"You ready"
"Yup" she put her phone in her little shoulder bag and locked up the house. "Where are we headed" she asked.
"To some place called Scotchies. Everybody says it's good. It's a Caribbean barbecue spot"
"Cool" she followed alongside him with her security team on their heels. They walked until they reached a white jeep. Twin opened and closed the door for her while she reached over and opened the door for him. They made small talk until they reached the restaurant. It was a cool little spot with a nice vibe and the way the place smelled April knew the food was going to be bomb. Food and drinks ordered April looked at Twin and smiled.
"We haven't done this in a while" she said.
"True we haven't. I'm happy I ran into you" he laughed.
"Fuck you" she laughed. "Who knew you'd be here? I came here to get away from Jersey and do some soul searching and low and behold ya ass is here at the same damn time"
"I really didn't expect to see you but I'm happy that I did. It's been a minute"
"It has...so fill me in. How have you been and how's life been treating you" she placed her elbows on the table and leaned forward.
He smiled and leaned in as well. "Honestly I've been good. Life is good. I can't complain. You know once we stopped seeing each other I was out in the streets heavy. I didn't have to worry bout you getting caught up in my shit so I was out there chasing the bag. Shit was good until I got pinched though. Mama was pissed, Two was out in the streets by himself but still doing his college thing, and Marquees was fucked up bout it" Twin sighed.
"I spent six months in that bitch and that was more than enough time to scare my ass straight. I knew I had to make a change. I saw niggas from the block that was doing years and the shit that goes down in there I wanted no parts of. True story I wasn't bout that life. It wasn't for me" he chuckled but April knew he was trying to make light of the situation. She had always told him to be careful and although he was getting money out in the streets and being as careful as he could be she knew that anything could happen to him. She always saw more for him and knew the streets wasn't the way.
April shook her head and a few minutes later their food was being brought out and placed on their table. They prayed over their meals before April spoke up. "So what happened after you got out" she asked as she cut into her jerk shrimp.
"I took some of the rainy day money I had saved, signed up for financial aid, and signed up for a trade school. You always said I was good with my hands and besides I loved fixing cars so I went and took up mechanics while I was still selling on the side. You know we still had to eat. Once I graduated I went straight to one of ya pop's spots and he hired me on the spot. I knew that he wouldn't judge me and he was willing to take a chance on me. So he gave me a job and I told him not to tell you anything" he looked up from his plate and looked at her.
"You were doing ya college thing and I didn't want to interfere. I basically worked my way to the top to the point ya pops gifted me the shop no questions asked and no strings attached just as long as I stayed out the streets. He put it all in my name and now it's so in demand that I actually opened a second shop all on my own with Two as my partner. He does the marketing and finances"
April cheesed she was proud of him. "I'm so proud of you Twin. I knew you had it in you. You just needed the right push and somebody by ya side"
"Thanks Lil Foot. When ya pops signed the shop over to me I was surprised as shit and thankful as hell and still I told him not to tell you because I didn't want you to think that I was using you guys. You know you had mad chicks and niggas tryna be cool with you just to get their hands in the cookie jar" he shrugged and dug into his food.
April laughed and smacked her lips. "Really Sabir you know damn well out of all people I wouldn't dare think that of you. I always wanted the best for you and I'm glad my dad saw what I saw in you. Besides ya businesses how's the family doing"
"The family is good no complaints. We moved. I had to get us out the hood. Like I said Two is my business partner so his ass is always around. He has a lil girl named Sabrina she's three. He and his baby moms is still together. They're actually married. Quees is graduating this year from high school. He turned out to be a pretty good kid. He's into his schooling. He takes that shit serious as fuck which he should. He actually got an academic scholarship so we're proud as fuck of him. Besides that it's football and lil thots. As far as mama her ass is still the same but she's happier and she's proud of us"
"That's what's up. I'm happy for you guys. Y'all deserve it. For one I can't believe somebody actually married Two's ass" she joked. "Shit I can't believe my boo is really bout to graduate though and go to college. You know I need to see some pics. What bout you though? Any kids...boo thing" she questioned.
Twin laughed. "Same shit I said but they've been married for a few years now. Ya boo" he chuckled. "Don't let him hear you say that shit. You know he was crushing on you heavy. I stayed kicking his lil ass out the room. He'd be all under ya ass always wanting to lay up on you and shit. Talking bout you his woman" he shook his head laughing.
April covered her mouth dying laughing. Twin's little brother was not trying to hear that shit. In his little eyes April was his and his alone. "That's because he knew a good woman when he saw one so leave him alone. He'll always be my lil boo"
"You was aight" he joined in.
"Oop" she clutched her invisible pearls. "If I'm not mistaken lil daddy you thought I was hot shit" she stuck her tongue out.
"No comment" he sipped on his drink.
"Exactly" they continued laughing.
"Besides that I was the one who lucked up and had twins...twin girls at that. They're two now" Twin smiled taking out his phone.
"Damn so it just skipped Two and hit ya I want a lil solider ass" April laughed as Twin passed her his phone. "Aww they're precious. Look at those lil chocolate mamas and those cheeks" April cooed as she looked at the pictures.
"Brianne and Brielle...they are a piece of work and have personalities out of this world but those are my lil babies. I wouldn't trade them for the world" he smiled proudly. April knew he took the role of being a father serious especially since he and his brothers grew up without theirs.
"You and ya lady did good. They're beautiful" she passed him back his phone.
"Thanks we're actually getting married this summer. Her names Erica she has a lil hair salon so she's out here doing hair and promoting herself. We've been off and on for a few years before we finally figured out what we wanted"
"That's what's up. I'm so happy shit turned out great for you" she smiled and yes she was truthful. With the life Twin had he deserved a good life and a great happy ending.
"Thanks Lil Foot preciate' it...how bout you though. What's been going on? I've been keeping up with you here and there. I know you're like the queen of tech" he smiled.
to be continued...
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-Happy Reading guys...I hope you enjoy 😊
-I'll be posting up the second part of this chapter some time over the weekend...
-Uncle NyReek out here passing out some words of wisdom...our girl IS gonna get right...it takes time but she's gonna get there 😊
-Most of y'all thought April was about to pop that pussy on a handstand for Twin 😂 His ass is married with children our boo ain't got time for that type of drama. I think she has enough going on as is.
-How do y'all think this conversation with Twin is going to go? Will she let him in or sugarcoat everything 🧐
-Any, who sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries 😊
-If you're reading and not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please and thank you 🥰
-Hey new readers I see you! Thanks for reading and I hope you all have been enjoying so far 🥰 Every time one of you tell me how much you enjoy or how good my book is I be twerking in my seat 🤣 it means a lot to me so thank you 😘
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-I know some of y'all would like for me to update often but I do what I can but I also make sure that there's always a new chapter on Fri/Sat. I don't like to rush or just post up anything just because. I know how I want this story to go and what major things I want to happen and sometimes it takes me some time to gather my thoughts to get the chapters to my liking. I want to make sure that I'm always putting out my best..Any, who I'm out ✌🏾