"losing your life is not the worst thing that can happen. the worst thing is to lose your reason for living." jo nesbø
☁
Sam and Bobby looked at each other in both confusion and excitement. It was almost as Dean heard their conversation and got an urge to wake up. They were confused because of why he was waking up and why so suddenly.
The nurses said they could both stay in, which comforted them. They gathered around the doctors and Dean laying in the hospital bed. His heart rate regulated and his eyes slowly fluttered open. The sudden light nearly blinded him and he pulled his arm in front of his face.
Dean thought he was in a strange place, but he saw his IVs, his hospital gown, and the nurse's face, and he quickly jerked back in surprise and stared at the tube stuck in his arm. "Where am I?" He asked, his face flushed.
"The hospital, you had a migraine and you passed out." A nurse explained, "You eat terribly, and hardly ever sleep.. your mechanic job got out of hand and laid too much stress on you."
Mechanic job? Dean peered over the nurses and saw Sam and Bobby looking worried, Dean then became aware of what had happened. Dean looked down at his blanket and clutched it tightly, anger going through his veins.
Dean felt fine. In reality, he really wasn't. Showing vulnerability and insecurity just wasn't his thing and he felt weak. Weak that he had cried because of the pain, weak that he's in a hospital for not sleeping eight hours a night, instead he slept four. He snapped at the nurses, "Get me out of this goddamn dress and take this medicine out of me! I'm fine! I don't need you. I don't need any of you!"
Sam rushed over to Dean trying to calm him down, the attendants did their own job instead of listening to the hospitalized one. "Dean. Listen. The doctor told me that you will have to hire a counselor to help with your mental illness."
"I'm not ill! I'm not depressed! I'm fine!" Dean spat back. Sam looked down at him and grabbed his shoulder.
He frowned, "You're clearly not. Please, Dean... take care of yourself."
Dean waited until the nurses were out of the room before replying, his tone still stiff and angered, "I'm not going to a therapist. To make them ask me what's wrong and what I'm feeling while laying there in a chaise, giving my emotions and temptations to some random godforsaken stranger! Sam, are you even hearing yourself? 'Mental illness' I don't have a mental illness," He quoted, mocking Sam, "and I certainly don't need a therapist while the monster is out there taking demons outta hell! We need to gank that son of a bitch before anything else happens!"
Sam and Bobby stood there in shock, Dean still gravely angered. Sam went out of the room to get a drink, and Bobby sat down next to him trying to calm him down. Just Bobby's actions made the boy settle down. He smiled softly at him, Bobby knew that without him Sam and Dean would be completely broken, their childhood nonexistent.
☁
"Uncle Bobby! Uncle Bobby!" The little Dean chanted, tugging on the man's sleeve. Dean was wearing a yellow sweater and overalls that were a bit too big.
"Yes, son?" Bobby answered back, looking down at him. Dean smiled a toothy grin as he finally got the attention he wanted. He pulled him over to the little Sam, who was almost one at the time.
Sam pulled himself on his knees and tried to stand up, Bobby gasped. The baby wiggled and managed to get on his feet, trying to walk over to the grinning boy. He managed to do exactly that and Dean was ecstatic. "He walked! He walked! He walked to me!" Dean was overly happy, one of the first times in a while. The young one's dad had been gone since the fire accident, and Dean had no idea why.
The old man stood up and went to the phone on the wall. He tried calling John and after three rings the father answered. Bobby told him what had happened since he didn't get to witness it. John said he couldn't give a... damn... and hung up the phone. "What did he say, Bobby?"
Bobby shook his frown away, and proceeded to smile down at him. "He said he was very proud of both you and little Sammy."
☁
Sam came back into the room, holding two beers. He handed one to Bobby. The doctor from earlier came in, "Okay.. Mr. Winchester, I think you're set to go. Just remember, no alcohol or highly saturated fat foods. And, maybe cut your shifts a little bit shorter, alright?"
Dean tensed up once again, but he plastered a fake smile and nodded. He stood up for the first time in about a day, and changed into normal clothes. He pulled over his leather jacket and the rest were ready to go. Dean thought about everything that had just happened, no alcohol, more sleep, and no burgers or pie. The doctor handed him a medicine bottle and told him to take it once a day for about a week, and as soon as he was out of the doctor's sight, he chucked it in the trash. He made sure Sam didn't know about the medicine in the first place.
The two brothers went into the Impala while Bobby went into his truck, and they drove to Kansas to go to their bunker. As they got the stuff out of their car's truck, Sam noticed a little sway in Dean's walk. A sort of subtle limp. Dean quickly shuffled into the door and into his room. He chucked his stuff on his bed, took off his boots and peacefully slept.
Meanwhile, Bobby pulled up and Sam came to help him with his stuff. Sam told Bobby that Dean was definitely different.
As to which Bobby replied, "Well, yeah. He can't have no beer. I'd be pissed, too."
"No, it's not just that. I feel like he's upset at something else." Sam pondered, dragging their stuff inside and onto the large table. He got another pair of beers and handed it to Bobby, opening it with just his hand and drinking a large amount. Sam sat down and opened up more lore books, trying to do as much research as he could since that little commotion slowed them down quite a bit.
About 30 minutes later, Dean woke up and went to the bathroom. His emotions cranky and distorted. He didn't know what he felt, just empty. The man looked at himself in the glass mirror, and he hated what he saw. His eyes were glossy and one tear rolled down his face. One after one silent tears cascading down.
His sobs were muffled, and quiet. No one could hear, not even Dean. He sniffled and went back to his bed, laying down on his face. He felt numb, like he couldn't feel anything. He couldn't feel a tiny pinch on his arm, because it didn't hurt. Dean felt useless, like he had no purpose in the world, like saving all those people did nothing to the world. What if he didn't save those people? Would it be better if he hadn't?
Dean sat on his bed, his legs crossed and his feet bare. He put his hands on his ankles and just sat there, looking out a window to only see grass and the evening sky. He turned on the TV and watched the news, a person who came back to life after dying peacefully. It was in Kansas which was actually near by. Could it be the demon they were hunting?
The man stood up quickly, to go downstairs only to find both Sam and Bobby fast asleep. He rolled his eyes and went to Sam to wake him up. "Sammy, wake up, bastard."
Sam fluttered one eye open and jumped up in surprise to see Dean, who was fully dressed and looked like he was ready to go somewhere.
"What on earth?" The taller one replied bluntly.
"We need to go."
"Why?"
"Now!" Dean snapped back, grabbing his jacket and putting it on swiftly. Sam stood up and they went out of the bunker, making sure to lock it so Bobby would be safe. "The demon.. it's in Kansas.. about 15 miles that way."
Dean started driving with Sam in the passenger seat. Sam put his weapons in his jacket and started getting himself prepared. "Dean.."
"Hush. Okay? I just have a gut feeling it's this. This guy 'magically' woke up out of his open casket at a funeral. Sure, those things happen but he said that he remembers a little bit of Hell. That demon is grabbing bad people out of hell so they can do more bad things!" Dean exclaimed, pushing the gas petal further.
"Research says this guy was an amazing man, he was a Baptist, was involved in the church.. and get this, helped out puppies who were abused in pounds." Sam replied, looking at his phone.
They drove further into the road and eventually reached where the man was resurrected. It was a small funeral home that had no windows nor anyway to look inside. Dean got out, grabbed his holy water and stormed inside. Sam tried rushing to him but Dean insisted he needed to kill this man himself.
Inside there was a powerful beam of light, and Dean saw his face. An attractive man, with a slight scruff, almond shaped crevices and the most beautiful bright blue eyes Dean had ever seen. This man was a demon in an angel disguise.
Or was it?