(well, it's been a whirlwind of a day. thought this chapter had deleted, but i found a way to get it back. thank god. rewriting this chapter would have been a pain in the ass.)
(anyway. this chapter is a doozie. a lot going on. a lot happening. all good stuff though. absolutely not edited. hope you enjoy. love u tons.) -mags
✧✧✧
AT THE MOMENT, Jess Mariano had three things on his mind.
The first was the hope that his car wouldn't breakdown on the freeway. The last time he'd driven this far was when he'd come down to celebrate Penn with Marley, where he had ended up staying the entire weekend. The drive back home was much less enjoyable than the ride there (not only was his car making ungodly noises, but he kept smelling gasoline and Jess knew enough about cars to know that was never a good sign) and was filled with anxiety rather than anticipation.
Second, the words that Luke had spat out at him at his shithole apartment back in New York had continued to stick with him, and he didn't like the feeling of it whatsoever. He'd heard similar things from his friend weeks ago, but it had resonated with him more when Luke had verbally assaulted him. And besides, this seemed really important to Luke. After everything that he'd done for him and everything that had happened between them, he figured he owed Luke this.
The third was the possibility of seeing Rory Gilmore after he had had that moment of confession with her last winter. God, he felt so stupid for even thinking that that was a good idea. He'd just dropped the bomb on her and dipped (as Marley had so elegantly put it). He honestly didn't know if he could ever speak to her again without dying of embarrassment.
Jess nearly slammed his forehead on his steering wheel just thinking about it. He did not want to be driving. He did not want to be going to this wedding. He did not want to be going back to Stars Hollow.
His eyes were drawn to the necklace that hung off his rearview mirror as he used it to look behind him before he merged lanes. It was a simple gold necklace that had a small sun charm attached to it. Marley had left it there the night before he went back to New York, when she had finally agreed to drive in his car and they had ended up sitting and talking in the small parking lot down by the dock. She had taken off her necklace and clipped it around his rearview mirror in an attempt to prove to him that making a car look nice, even one that looked like it could fall apart at any minute, wasn't a waste.
Once he'd seen the stupid necklace illuminated in the moonlight and the small, stupid smile on Marley's face, Jess knew there was no way he would let himself argue with her about it.
He'd had found himself doing a lot more of that lately. If Marley had seemed as though she really wanted something (that he had no true objections to, of course), he would try to find a way to make it happen. Jess honestly didn't know where this almost intrinsic want to make her happy had come from, but he assumed that that was one of the perks of having a friend who you actually cared about. He'd never really had one of those. Sure he had friends (if you could call them that), but he'd never had a relationship with somebody like the one he had developed with Marley.
The only other person he'd ever tried this hard with was Rory. But, this wasn't like that at all.
Was it?
Jess nearly swerved his car into the vehicle beside him at the thought. He heard the wail of the car's horn as the man in it yelled profanities at his window. Jess seemed to block it out. No, he thought. Absolutely not. There were a list of things that could happen, and that certainly wasn't on it.
The list went as followed; 1. Jess could go to Liz's wedding. 2. Jess could see his friend. 3. Jess could go back to New York. That was it. Even engaging the possibility of Jess interpreting his very limited connections to people as something other than friendly certainly couldn't.
He glanced back at the necklace. God, he wanted to throw up. Not only because the thought of ruining the three-year relationship he'd built up with Marley because of some freak realization made him sick to his stomach, but because he knew deep down maybe that this wasn't something he could have just made up. Maybe (just maybe) there was some truth to it.
Yeah, he thought as he pushed on his hazards and began drifting to the side of the road, he was going to throw up.
✧
LUKE'S DINER WAS loud, but not in the way that Jess was expecting.
He furrowed his brow when he pulled up and saw only two people in the diner. One he recognized as Marley, the other he didn't know. All he could tell was that they were arguing, and Marley looked scared. He froze up, immediately turning off his car.
Jess needed to get in there and quick.
Marley didn't even see Jess arrive. She couldn't focus on anything other than Will Conover being unbelievably irrational and holding his fist tightly clenched beside him. She barely heard the bell on the door ring as Jess entered.
"You guys are still open, right?" he asked, easing into the restaurant, only to watch Marley's face contort into even more worry.
"Jess?" she whispered. Her voice wavered in a way that made Jess' hand tighten on the doorknob.
Will whipped around to face him. "Who the hell-?" Will squinted at him. "You mind, buddy? We're kind of having a conversation here."
Jess checked his watch, only for the hands to show the time 9:30. "I actually do," he said. There was a tight smile on his face as Will watched him walk further into the diner. "It's nine-thirty. This place doesn't close until ten. I just drove two hours and threw up on the way here, so if you don't mind, I'd like some service."
"Jess--" Marley's voice was almost pleading now, only to be cut off by her boyfriend.
"Marley, do you know this guy?"
"Yeah," she answered weakly. "Will Conover, Jess Mariano. He's my friend who used to work here. Luke's nephew."
Will snorted. "You certainly live up to your reputation, you know that?"
"Yeah, and what's that?" Jess asked.
"An asshole."
Marley gaped at him. "Will!"
"Well, I've heard nothing but good things about you from your girlfriend." Jess slid to position himself in between Marley and Will, scrunching his nose up at the boy who might as well have smoke coming out of his ears. "Can't say you live up to yours."
"Jesus Christ, enough," Marley said, running a hand down her face. "Thursday nights aren't alright for fighting, guys."
Jess turned away from her to give Will a smirk. "Then I can't wait for Saturday."
"Mariano, shut up." She hoped that Will couldn't see her hiding a smile. He did. It only fueled his anger.
"You're fucking ridiculous," he hissed. "You're fucking laughing at him? After he just barges in here and interrupts us?" Will glared at Jess. "Can you move out of the way so I can talk to my fucking girlfriend?"
"I'm pretty comfortable right here."
Will looked as though he were ready to put his fist through a wall. Or through Jess. Marley figured he'd choose whichever one was closest. She hoped Jess was ready to duck.
Will huffed, jaw clenching as he looked between the two of them. "This conversation isn't over," he told Marley. He sent one last look in Jess' direction, only getting more pissed off when Jess sent him a small wave.
The diner door slammed with the clink of a bell. All was silent. Marley could have sworn Jess could hear her heart beating out of her chest. She stopped pressing her nails into her palms.
Jess turned to Marley slowly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Charming guy."
She sighed. "You didn't have to do that."
"What was the fight about?" he asked.
"Seriously, you really shouldn't have done that."
"What was the fight about?" he repeated, sitting on one of the barstools across from her.
Marley looked at him for a moment before sighing again, placing her head on the counter. "We had a plan," she began, words echoing off the table. "We had this stupid plan that because I didn't get into Penn, we'd go to UConn together. It made me feel better at the time and it felt... good? I don't know? It was a good Plan B, I guess?" She lifted her head off the table and running her hand down her face. "And he was excited about it. So excited. So, when I got into Penn, I made sure to convince him that I wasn't going there because of the financial shit." Marley groaned, laughing miserably. "And then... yesterday, I get a letter from Penn saying I qualified for financial aid, and that, added with the two out of fifteen scholarships I applied for and won... there's enough there to make it worth our while--"
"Hey, Acosta, that's awesome," he said, stopping her ramble for a moment.
She sucked her teeth. "Yeah. Awesome."
The way she said it made Jess look at her in disbelief. "Wait, you're going, right? To Penn."
Marley's face went blank. "No. I'm going to UConn. That's why we were fighting," she deadpanned, scowling as she saw a slight smile come to Jess' lips. "Yes, I'm going to Penn, jackass. And everyone's ecstatic about it but my stupid boyfriend." She cocked her head to the side. "Also, rewind. Did you really think I'm the type of girl to follow her boyfriend to college and give up on an opportunity like this?"
Jess threw his hands up in defense. "I never said that," he began. "I just had to ask after meeting your very loud and intimidating angry boyfriend."
"He was such a jerk tonight, I'm sorry about that. He's not usually like that."
Jess nodded slowly but said nothing.
Marley narrowed her eyes. "You weren't exactly Mandela back there, either."
"I did nothing that wasn't out of line, your honor."
"You instigated him with an Elton John song."
Jess pointed at her, smiling wide. "You laughed."
"I just wasn't expecting you to pick up on the reference, Rocketman."
"My mom liked Elton John," he told her, his smile growing a slightly nostalgic. He shrugged. "Kind of learned the music through osmosis."
Marley's lips stretched as she looked at him. She pressed her nails into her palm, mind spinning with the question she'd been wanting to ask him since she watched him size up Will and the situation at hand. It wasn't her business. It wasn't.
Jess caught her staring and raised his brows. "What?"
"Nothing," she said, shaking her head.
"Acosta."
Marley bit her lip. Jess tensed as she became a little more serious. "How... how many times have you done that?"
Jess furrowed his brow. "Done what?"
"...Diffused situations."
"I really don't know what you're talking about." Marley decided his body language said differently.
"Jess..."
"What?"
Marley sighed. She'd been doing a lot of that today. "You just... immediately knew what to do. You came in here and made him focus on you." She watched as Jess became uncomfortable under her gaze. "You thought I wouldn't notice? I think you're forgetting how well I know you."
Jess put his hand on the table, tapping his fingers upon the counter. He tried to ignore how soft her voice was. Gentle. How it made his throat tighten involuntarily. "I just..."
"You don't have to say anything--"
"You looked scared." He said it like it was a secret that only she was allowed to hear. "I've never seen you look scared before. I saw you, I saw him. I only know worst-case scenario, so I went with the worst-case scenario. If something were to happen, I'd rather it happen to me."
She looked at him like he was insane. "Why?"
Jess' expression matched hers. "Because, whether you like it or not, I care about you, Marley. I thought that much would be obvious by now." Marley was way too taken back by his slight outburst to laugh. She watched Jess as he shrugged. "If we're being honest, if it were worst-case scenario, I'd do it again."
Jess had only seen Marley look at him the way that she was once; the night he'd surprised her on her porch. He still didn't know how to react to that look, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't make him feel like less like a fuck-up.
He'd also be lying if he said he didn't like it, just a little.
"You don't have to do that," she whispered. "I can't ask you to take all the blows for me."
"You're not asking," Jess said like it was the simplest thing in the world. "You asked me last year not to fight your battles. You didn't say anything about defense."
"You ever been told that you're a pedantic fuck?"
Jess grinned at her. "Once or twice."
Marley tried to look mad at him, but the smile on her face made it hard to pull off. She glanced over at Jess' car parked outside of the diner. She could feel his gaze on her. Neither of them spoke for a while, simply taking in everything that had just happened and had been said.
She wondered if the restaurant itself felt strange having the two of them in here without words to accompany them. This place had been the backdrop for so many of their arguments and conversations that Marley knew she should feel weird not speaking to Jess here. But she didn't.
The silence was kind of nice. She thought it was nicer that she and Jess were in a place where they didn't have to speak to feel comfortable around one another.
"What are you thinking about?" Jess asked, breaking the quiet suddenly.
Marley didn't look at him. The corners of her mouth twitched upward. "Whether or not buildings can have human emotions," she answered simply.
It was then that Jess laughed (a little louder than Marley had been expecting), shutting his eyes as his face contorted into an amused sort of disbelief. She finally looked in his direction, pleased by the reaction she'd solicited out of him. "Seriously?" he asked.
"What? It's where my mind took me. I was also trying to figure out why you threw up."
Jess' smile dimmed. "What?"
"You told Will that you threw up on the way here," she said. "Are you alright? You sick?"
He scoffed, muttering under his breath, "In a way." Before Marley could question his words, he quickly covered for himself. "I'm just hungover. That's all."
He wasn't expecting his excuse to work, but it seemed to be reasonable enough for Marley. She raised her brows. "You and Todd throw a rager at your crackhouse last night?"
Jess rolled his eyes. "It's kind of insulting that you think that the only person I know back home is Todd," he said. Marley chuckled, smiling lightly. "No, I met a guy at a party who's planning on dropping out of school with his buddy in Philly to start their own publishing firm. He invited me out with his friends to get a beer. They're nice people, but they drank me under the table."
"Lightweight," she teased.
"Hey, kettle? This is Marley. You're black."
Marley laughed, shaking her head at him. "Fair enough," she said. "I was just checking. I thought you were nervous about your mom's wedding, or something."
"Please," Jess groaned. "I wasn't nervous for the first, don't think I'll be nervous for the eleventh."
She gave him a look as she pulled her lips to the side. "I met her for the first time yesterday."
"Yeah? How was that?"
"She was nice," Marley shrugged. "Gave me a free pair of earrings. Kind of reminded me of Stevie Nicks."
"She'd give you her entire collection of earrings for free if you told her that."
Marley nodded slowly, unsure if her next words were going to slip into dangerous territory. "She kind of passed the wedding planning onto Luke," she said.
Jess released a hasty laugh. "So, you did meet my mother."
"It was just something I noticed," Marley replied, trying to keep her voice as light as possible. She watched Jess for a moment before asking, "Does she do that a lot? Make Luke do the shit she doesn't want to?"
"What, you mean like raising me?"
Marley sighed. "Luke didn't raise you."
"He might as well have," Jess muttered. "Luke did more for me in two years than Liz did in seventeen."
It was then that Marley looked at Jess. Like, really looked at him. Jess had just admitted something that she honestly never thought would have come out of his mouth. It was in that moment that Marley realized something.
Jess had changed. She'd seen it happen gradually over time as he became nicer to her over the years, but there hadn't been anything as stark as this. There was a difference between learning to like someone and indirectly admitting that somebody that you practically cursed out the last time you'd been around them had done something that had helped you. Jess and Luke had never fully gotten along. But right now, from where Marley was standing, she had hope that it might just happen one day.
Maturity was something that Jess had obviously had to learn fast, but Marley was able to see he'd learned it in the wrong way. The right way had been taught and she knew Jess was catching on. It wouldn't be immediate. It wasn't going to happen overnight. But the path to change for the better was there. Jess just had to find a way to take it.
"You thinking about whether or not fruit have feelings now?" Jess' voice broke her from her thoughts. She blinked at him, finding that he looked offset by the sudden silence between them.
Marley shook her head. "No, no," she said softly. "I'm just shocked that you actually admitted that Luke helped you."
Jess didn't say anything to that. Marley didn't expect him to.
Marley glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was in the mere minutes before ten o'clock. She inwardly groaned. She didn't feel like closing tonight, nor did she feel like going to school tomorrow. All Marley want to do was sleep.
"I better start closing," she said, giving Jess a small smile. "I've got school tomorrow."
Jess nodded. "Where's Luke?"
"Probably upstairs listening to his Tony Robbins knock-off, trying to 'see her face'."
Marley almost laughed at the confused look on Jess' face. "I have no idea what the hell you just said."
"You'll figure it out," she said, grinning to herself as she began to wipe down the counter. She was expecting to hear Jess laugh, and then hear his footsteps retreat up the stairs. Instead, he stayed stationary, as if he wanted to ask her something. She moved to look at him. "Something wrong?"
There was a look on Jess' face that made Marley turn suspicious. "Congrats on Valedictorian."
Marley shut her eyes and sighed. "How'd you find out?"
"Luke might have mentioned something about it when he came to scream at me yesterday."
"I'm gonna kill him."
Jess leaned up against the doorframe at the beginning of the stairs. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew I was going to get it," she said. "I'm the only one in my grade that's going to an Ivy. It didn't want it to turn into a huge thing. Because it's not."
"Don't try and downplay this, Acosta. That four-point-oh I harassed you about actually paid off."
"Shut up."
"I'm serious," he said. "That's big. You need to know that's a big deal."
There was a hint of a smile on her face as she picked the corner of the rag she was holding. "Thanks," she said quietly. A moment passed and her eyes traveled past him and to the stairs. "You should probably go tell Luke that you're here."
"Yeah," he said, nodding at her before slinging his bag over his shoulder. He gave her a smile. "Night, Acosta."
"Night."
And as Jess' footsteps got quieter and moved to the floor above her Marley was able to breathe freely, alone, even just for a moment, for the first time all night. She could help but notice that Jess had been looking at her differently all night.
Then again, she could have been seeing things.
✧
THE NEXT AFTERNOON was louder, just not in the way that Luke, Marley or Jess were expecting. Liz Danes hadn't expected it either.
Marley had walked over to Luke's after school to find the place completely empty, with the exception of Liz and three of her friends, and Luke attempting to figure out the right way to cook multiple legs of meat. All of them looked in her direction as she entered and she gave them a shy sort of wave.
Liz grinned as she saw her. "Miss Marley!" she cheered. For a second, Marley thought she was going to get up and hug her. "Where are you coming from?"
"School," she answered, throwing her thumb in the direction of the building outside. She furrowed her brow as she looked at whatever the hell Luke was doing. "Are those turkey legs?"
"Of course they are," Liz said.
"Because nothing says Mazel Tov like turkey legs," Luke muttered as Marley walked toward the counter. She snorted, looking in through the side of the clear case to see more turkey legs rotating inside.
"Do you even know how to cook something like this?" Marley asked.
Luke looked up at her. "You think I cook turkey legs in my free time?"
"I never know with you. It doesn't sound like something completely out of your possibility range."
"Liz," he said, ignoring Marley's comment, "do you have any idea if I'm doing this right?"
"Most guys don't know if they're doing it right," said one of Liz's friend's that had been coined as 'Crazy Carrie' by Luke. As Liz's friends all giggled, Marley decided that this was a good time to go clock in.
"It's not my expertise, bro," Marley heard Liz say, "but they smell good if that helps."
She returned just in time to hear Liz apologize for yet another thing for this wedding getting dumped on Luke. Marley hid her scowl as she moved next to Luke.
"Do you want some help?" she asked him.
Luke huffed. "Do you really want the blind leading the blind?"
"It's not blind leading the blind, it's blind helping the blind. If we walk into oncoming traffic, we're walking together, boss," she said, grinning as she watched Luke smile for the first time in a while.
Jess suddenly appeared from upstairs, nodding at Marley as he saw her poke her head out from behind Luke. She tried not to notice the split-second when she saw him freeze. "Hey," he said, eyes moving to Luke. "I need to get some batteries, I'll be back."
Liz lit up as soon as she saw her son, cheering his name in a similar way she'd done with Marley. "Come over here and meet my oldest friends."
"Watch the one on the left," she heard Luke mutter to Jess.
"Or don't," Marley said, snickering as she saw Jess send her a glare.
"Girls," Liz began as Jess walked over to where she was standing, "this is Jess."
The women gave a chorus of hellos, followed by a 'hello, handsome' from Carrie that was just loud enough for Marley to hear. Jess sent Marley a look as she snorted.
"Isn't he just?" Marley said to the women, putting her chin on her hand and looking at him dreamily.
"Don't you have turkey legs to cook?" he asked.
Liz chuckled at their moment of banter before placing her hands on Jess' shoulders. "You two are so cute," she said, glancing between Marley and Jess, before turning to Luke. "How could you say that they were intolerable?"
"You weren't here for the first nine months," Luke grumbled, looking at the identical smirks that had made a home on the teenagers faces.
"Oh, whatever," Liz said, waving him off. "But ladies, Jess is going to walk me down the aisle. Is that cool or what?"
Marley's smirk fell immediately, a look of surprise taking over. He was walking his mother down the aisle?
"It's no big deal," he said, almost shyly, making sure to glance over at Marley to get the message through.
Liz smiled. "It's a very big deal." She squeezed his shoulder. "My boy's coming to my wedding, he's walking me down the aisle, it really can't get better than this." Liz turned him to her to look at him. "Did you say that you were bringing a date? I couldn't remember."
"Yeah," he said. He looked at Marley. "She's coming with me."
Marley's face took on a whole new level of surprise. "I'm what?"
Liz didn't hear her question over the excitement she expressed. "Oh, you're bringing Marley? That's so exciting! Oh!" She turned to the girl behind the counter, whose eyes were on Jess' stupid smirk. "I was going to invite you anyway, but you're already coming. I was wrong. It could get better!"
Before Marley could ask any questions or object to the fact that she didn't even know if she could attend the wedding, the diner door opened to reveal a muscular man in a postal uniform. "I got a package here," he told Luke.
"From who?" Luke asked. "I'm not expecting anything."
"It's a very important package."
As everyone seemed to realize what was about to go down, except for Luke, Jess glanced over his shoulder at Marley and swiftly tilted his head in the direction of the door. She pursed her lips before sighing and nodding, following Jess as he opened the door.
"Have fun," he said to his uncle.
Marley chuckled at Luke's confusion. "Make sure to thank Chippendales for me, alright?"
She laughed as she left the diner on Jess' heels, stopping to watch from the window as the man pulled a stereo out from the box and began stripping. Liz and her friends all cheered as Luke grimaced, looking at his employees laughing at him from the window.
Marley grabbed the other hand of Jess' that he wasn't waving at Luke and led him away from the window. Jess didn't even have time to register what Marley had just done as she immediately whacked him on the arm.
"What the hell was that for?" he exclaimed, holding the spot she'd just hit.
"Since when am I going to your mom's wedding?" she asked. Her expression was incredulous. "Where did that come from?"
Jess winced. "I meant to ask you last night."
"That would have been nice," she muttered.
"You don't have to come."
Marley sighed, glaring at him. "I want to go. I just wish you would have given me a heads up so I could have, I don't know, gotten a dress? Been able to be on theme? Not been surprised in front of a stripper?"
"If it makes you feel any better Luke and I are both refusing to be on theme," he told her as they entered Doose's Market.
"So I don't get to see you in tights?" she asked.
"Absolutely not."
"Bummer."
"Let's get one thing straight," Jess said, stepping into the aisle that held the batteries. "You will never, not in this life or the next, ever, see me in tights."
Marley sighed dramatically. "Why must you ruin my day like that? I've never realized my dreams and then had them crushed that quickly." She grinned as Jess rolled his eyes, moving to go to the checkout line with the batteries in his hand. "Go wait in line, I'll be right back."
She quickly ran out of the shop to grab a small bouquet of yellow flowers, smiling as she found the right kind. She returned to the market to find Dean Forester standing at the checkout line with Jess standing right next to him. They weren't talking, but Marley was able to see the tension between them.
She wasn't sure if even she could fizzle that out.
As Dean saw Marley, he gave her a tight-lipped smile before taking his groceries and walking out the door. Jess bit his lip, but didn't look at Marley. He didn't have to for her to know he was laughing.
He didn't start laughing until they were outside. "He has a wife?"
"Yes, asshole," Marley said, elbowing him in the gut. "He and Lindsay got married after they graduated. She makes him meatloaf and they're very happy."
"Yeah, he looked thrilled," Jess drew out, shaking his head.
"Would it kill you two to be civil with one another?"
"Probably."
Marley groaned. "You're impossible. You're an impossible boy."
"Whatever you say," he replied with a smile. "What are the flowers for?"
"They're for my hair tomorrow. I want to be at least a little bit on theme," she said.
Jess put his hand on her arm to stop her. "So, you're coming?"
"Yeah," she said, ignoring the shit-eating grin on his face. "Don't make me regret it."
"Thank God," he said, nudging his shoulder with hers. "I didn't want to be the only sane person there."
"Lorelai and Luke are going to be there," Marley countered.
"I said sane, Acosta."
Marley snorted. "You're such a dick."
"A dick you're going to a wedding with."
"You're already making me regret my decision."
As they walked back into the diner, still arguing in the friendly way that Luke was so used to that it had just become like background noise, Liz Danes and her group of friends watched the two of them laugh with each other as they walked up the stairs. Liz smiled at the sight.
"Big brother," she said to Luke, who looked up from his turkey legs. "You sure there's nothing going on there? Between those two?"
Luke would have laughed if he had the energy. "Please," he said. "Something between them? They'll kill each other."
Liz shook her head. She'd seen something in Jess' eye that she'd never witnessed before. Luke was wrong to dismiss it just like that.
But, then again, with her track record or relationships, who the hell was she to say?
✧✧✧
author's note: this one was soft and super fun to write (edit: until i had a hernia over thinking it was deleted let me die)
it's also a chaser for the next chapter so get ready friends
okay i have to go to work love u all tons bye!!
-mags