We took the elevator up to the very top floor and when we stopped, Louis had to enter a code for the doors to open. When we stepped out, I noted the city skyline all around us. We were on the roof. The dark sky contrasted against the bright city below us. "The roof?" My question was clearly unneeded but it's all I could think to say.
"Yea, I, ehm, I used to stay at this hotel quite a bit when we first started workin' over here in America," he moved closer to the edge of the building, not alarmingly close but close enough to see down below us. "Sometimes bein' cramped up in a room with so many people felt suffocating. So I made friends with one of the maintenance guys, George. Lovely lad. "
He held his arm around me closely as he spoke, staring at the busy nightlife below us. It was like he was afraid I would slip and fall over and he was keeping me up here and safe. "So you would come up here?" I looked at him for an answer and he nodded. "Yea, here, and pretty much any other hotel roof. There's something freeing about being up here. It's freeing." He pointed his hand towards the Hollywood sign, lit up in the distance.
"The view ain't that bad either." He chuckled to himself and took my hand, leading me away from the edge over to a wall that housed some sort of electrical system for the hotel and placed his back to it, sliding down until he was seated and then pat the ground beside of him.
I slid down just as he did and faced outward. The tops of only the tallest buildings were visible now. We sat in silence forever before I finally spoke. "Do you feel like you need to be free right now?" I didn't look at him when I asked. I just kept staring off into the dark night.
He pondered over my question a minute before answering. "Ehm, a bit. I guess. But, I really thought that maybe you could use it." He turned to look at me but I didn't match his gaze. I kept my focus on the building in front of us. The entire top row of windows were lit up except for one on the far right. I let my mind wander to all the people across from us and all of their daily lives. I wonder if they ever had problems like me.
"Angela?" Louis' voice shook me from my thoughts and I remembered his statement. "Sorry, I guess I did need a bit of freeing." I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "Freeing from what?"
His voice was curious and I turned to face him. His eyes were soft as they studied my face, trying to figure out what I meant.
I realized in that moment that I had been subconsciously making an effort to not look at him. I knew that if I looked at him, on this rooftop, in the dark, alone, with some alcohol in my system, not a lot, but some, that I would do something stupid. His deep blue gaze poured into mine and when I opened my mouth the words that fell out of it were shocking even to my own ears.
"I don't know if I can get married tomorrow, Louis."
He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off, "I love Trevor. I love Trevor so much it fucking hurts. It hurts to think about not being with him. It hurts to think about hurting him. I have wanted nothing more than for this man to be my husband since the first day that we had lunch together in his classroom. The way he talked about his students and how much he cares about them, genuinely cares about them is so fucking amazing. I am in awe of him every single day. His optimistic outlook in such a shitty world is such a breath of fresh air and he is going to make an amazing husband and father some day and I had it all planned. It was all fucking planned." I stopped to catch my breath and he didn't move to speak, he was just listening.
"Then I met you. I met you and you're charming and sweet and funny and goddamnit you are so incredibly attractive and I don't know why but for the first time since I met Trevor I didn't see him as my husband. Now, I'm not saying I see you as that because that would be fucking insane but I do have feelings for you and I can't sit back and pretend that I don't want you to kiss me every single time I'm in the same room with you. I can't pretend that I don't want to lay in your arms and let you tell me all the things about you that I don't know. I can't—"
My words were cut off as he grabbed my face and smashed his mouth to mine. His tongue ran over my lips begging for entrance and I was more than willing. He grabbed for my hips, pulling me over onto his lap just like the night we met. I was straddling him and he ran his hands up my back and cradled me to him as we kissed.
My hands moved to his hair and I pushed the fringe away from his face so I could look at him better. I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. "What am I going to do, Louis? Tell me what to do." His arms were still wrapped around me, holding my body to his. I opened my eyes and stared into his thoughtful eyes.
"You're going to go back downstairs. You're going to have a sick, fun, night with your friends, and then tomorrow, you're gonna wake up, and you're gonna go marry Trevor." His words tore at my chest and ripped me to pieces. That's not what I was expecting him to say. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I blinked to push them away.
I leaned back trying to get a better look at his face but he pulled me back to his chest. "What do you mean?" My voice was weak and threatened more tears. He ran brought his hands to my face, cupping my cheeks and pressed our foreheads together again. "You are going to marry him, love. You are going to get married and be happy and have children and be an amazing mum to them and you're going to do all of that with him. With Trevor."
My heart was going a million miles a second and I couldn't slow it down. "Why?" My broken voice managed out. "Because you love him. You love him so much and this is how it was supposed to be." He wiped away at the tears that flowed down my cheeks.
"You came to me that day and you told me you were sorry. You told me you were engaged and that you loved this man and that you didn't want to hurt him this way because he was your everything. Well, this is my fault too because I saw your ring. I knew what I was doing and I knew it was wrong but I didn't care and I did it anyway."
His voice was full of emotion and his hold on me tightened. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I didn't feel anything. That I don't feel anything. But I'm also not going to let you walk away from that man that you love so dearly and who loves you so dearly. He's become a friend to me and I can see what you see in him. So it has to be him, Angela. It can't be me."
"So you don't want it to be you?" My voice was shaking and I was trying my hardest not to sob. I didn't dare look him in the eye. "It can't be me. It's not supposed to be me. You love him." His voice was so quiet I almost couldn't hear it.
"What are we going to do?" I swiped at my eyes trying to stop the crying. He sat silently before exhaling long and hard. "We're going to do exactly what I said. You are going to marry Trevor because you love him and he loves you. Right now you're freaking out because you're about to go through a very life changing event and most people do freak out. That's perfectly fine. I am going to be the best friend that I can be to you and to him."
He held me for what seemed like an hours when finally he spoke again. "We should probably get the ice back to them." I silently nodded and stood. We walked and go on the elevator that had brought us up and stepped inside. The descent was quiet and the air was cold, causing me to shiver. Right as we were about to reach my floor, he grabbed me, pulling my face to his and pressed his mouth over mine in a hurried manner.
His mouth and hands were warm. They felt good against my neck and face. The door dinged and opened as he broke the kiss and stepped back from me. I walked out into the hall and turned to face him just as the doors were closing again. "Goodnight, love." And with that, he was gone.
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"You are so beautiful. Oh my good lord I am about to start crying." My mother fanned at her face, tears welling up in her eyes. "Well, quit it. You're gonna ruin your makeup, momma." I smiled at her and she squeezed both of my hands gently. "You are the perfect vision of a bride. I'm gonna go get your daddy so we can get this show on the road, baby." I nodded and she left.
My sister leaned over me, adjusting the veil in my hair. Her little bump barely peeked out through her dress and I brought my hand up to it, surprising her. "It just kind of popped up overnight I feel like." She laughed a little, bringing her hands away from my hair and placing her them over it. "It's so cute. I can't believe you're having a baby." I shook my head in disbelief.
"Shit girl, I can't believe she havin' a baby either. I was supposed to be the one havin' a baby first. I picked out the right baby daddy and everything." Chris stepped out, adjusting the top of his dress. Marissa stepped out behind him and pulled at the top of it, helping him straighten it out. "Chris you have a different baby daddy every week." Her statement was nonchalant and extremely true. Christopher did like to dabble in the men department.
"And? Listen baby girls, you gotta have options. When the first baby daddy ends up bein' stupid, you got these others to fall back on. Okurrr." He snapped his fingers and held onto his hip. "I think I'm good with just one baby daddy, thanks Chris. He seems to be pretty good so far. Plus, I don't think I could keep up with more than one." My sister rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the veil in my hair.
She pinned it a few more times and took a step back. "There. Now, you're all set. You're gorgeous." I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes stood out even against the subtle eye makeup. My lips were painted a deep berry color. Chocolate brown tendrils hung around my face, framing it. The rest was tied back into a low bun. I really did look beautiful.
The door opened and my mother and father stepped back into the room. My fathers eyes were squinted from the smile across his face. Years of his big grin had created lines at the sides of his eyes that deepened whenever he smiled. "Well, hello miss. I was lookin' for my little girl and I was wondering if you may have happened to see her anywhere." I smiled and could feel the tears start to prick my eyes.
"Well, I reckon she's still right here. Just dressed up a little." He placed his hands onto my shoulders and pulled me into a big hug. "Don't cry now dumplin'. You don't wanna mess up your makeup. Looks too purty." He pulled back handing me the handkerchief from his pocket. I nodded, dabbing it at the corners of my eyes.
"Alright children, we have got to get this show of the road! Come out here and get in place." My mother's demeanor was soft but demanding. She was trying to keep herself busy so that she didn't start sobbing. The girls and Chris all game and hugged me before stepping out into the hall leaving just me and my father.
"Alright, you sure you wanna do this? I've got a car out back and we can make a run for it." He gestured to the emergency exit. I laughed and dabbed at my eyes some more. "How stereotypical is that question dad?" He kept his hands on my arms and his soft eyes on mine. "Well honey, it might seem stereotypical but it happens more often than not. Your mommy ran out on me." His words shocked me and I gasped "No she did not."
He chuckled and took a seat on the little loveseat in the dressing room. "Come on, come sit." I walked over and took the seat next to my father turning to face him. "It was June 17th, 1972. We were at the old baptist church in town. The whole place was covered in them little white flowers your momma likes."
"Gardenias." I smiled thinking about how many times I've seen her with those same flowers
"Yep, those are the ones. They were everywhere. The whole place was all decorated up real nice. Both our mommy's had made sure of that. I knew she had stayed up real late the night before on account of helpin' make some of the decorations." He smiled fondly. I remember seeing pictures that were taken of her and her friends sitting around cutting out something on white paper and it was captioned 'Frannie's bachelorette'.
"I had just gotten all dolled up myself. Had on my new tux I'd borrowed from a buddy of mine, who's sister had just gotten married. My hair was fixed up. I went up to take my place at the alter and started to cut up with the pastor. Well next thing I know, the musics playin' and I turn to watch my beautiful bride walk down the aisle but problem is, she ain't comin'."
"Where did she go?" I sat forward, my elbows on my knees. Just like when he'd tell us a story when we were kids.
"Well, the music played for a little longer and at this point everyone was gettin' a bit antsy. So I took a step down and assured everyone that everything was gonna be alright and that I was gonna go check on her. I walked out of the back church doors and I saw a flash of white roundin' the corner of the church. I followed it back there and there she sat on one of the benches. She was the most beautiful site I ever saw.
I walked up real slow like. As to not spook her. She hated that. I stood beside of her for a long time and then she spoke."
"Go away, David. I am not gettin' married today." She crosses her arms real tight around her body.
"And just why not, Frannie?" I stood solid in my place.
"Because I said so. Now, you have a nice day." She turned her body in the opposite direction of mine. She looks silly sittin' facin' the wall of the building.
"Well, I reckon I could get another one of these girls to marry me. Since the weddin' is all planned and paid for ya know." I smiled really big as I spoke, waiting for her reaction.
She turned that pretty face of hers around real quick and narrowed her eyes at me. "David, I swear to god I will kill you, her and the whoever claps." She spit fire when she spoke and I was relieved.
"Is that right? Well, if you ain't gonna marry me, then why can't somebody else?"
She kept her eyes narrowed at me and stood up from her spot on that bench, holding the bottom of her dress up off the ground and walked to where there was only about a foot between us.
"David Grigsby Hart, so help me God." I grabbed onto her hands and forced her to look at me.
"Honey what is it that's got you so upset just you're about to leave me at the alter?"
Her eyes welled up just a bit and she finally broke down and told me. "David, I'm pregnant and I refuse to be one of them girls that get married just because they're knocked up because I don't need you. I can do this just fine on my own. I don't need any man to hold me down and take care of me."
I was as shocked as you could imagine. This was all news to me. I just looked at my headstrong stubborn little bride. "Of course you don't need me honey. But do you want me?" She nodded her head, "of course I want you, you dummy but what does that matter? It's—" I think it was another then that she realized what I was sayin' to her.
"Then what does it matter if you're pregnant? We were gettin' married long before that happened. And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you and lovin' this baby. Who gives a damn what anyone else thinks? I sure as hell don't. I just know that I want you to be my wife. I love you more than anything else on this earth and I'm ready. Are you?"
She dabbed at her eyes a few times and then nodded again. "Yea, I do."
"Well alright, get that pretty tail of yours back inside so we can get this show on the road alright?"
"She told me she loved me and headed back in to find her momma and fix her makeup and I went back out to assure everyone that everything was okay and then we got married."
I was a little shocked by my fathers story and I'm sure it showed on my face. "Wait, momma was pregnant when you two got married?" He nodded and stood from the couch we were sitting on. "Yep, she sure was. Unfortunately, she lost the baby about two weeks after the wedding. We were devastated of course but them vows do say for worse or for better." He smiled lightly and pulled me to my feet.
"Trevor is a good man, sweet pea. He sure is lucky to have a woman like you to stand by his side." He pulled out a small box and handed it to me. "Here, he wanted me to give this to you after I figured out if you wanted to run or not." I laughed and took the box. "You never let me finish if I wanted to run out or not."
"I didn't have to. If you wanted to you wouldn't have sat back here through my story and gave other people the chance to come in and stop you." His smile was warm and comforting.
He was right. He was always right. I opened the small box and smiled when I saw a single paper clip. I took it out of the box and placed it into the top part of my wedding gown, earning a strange look from my father. "It's a long story, dad." I laughed and he just shrugged. "Well you better save it for later then, we gotta get going." He held his arm out to me and I looped mine through his.
We left the small dressing room and all of my doubts behind us and made our way to the double doors that held my entire future. When they swung open, Trevor stood at the end of the aisle in his deep grey suit and the brightest smile. The music played and I couldn't even remember why I had any doubts in my head about this man. He was everything I had ever dreamed about in a husband.
I loved him more than anything and I was ready to do this. I walked down the aisle with my father, where he gave me away and Trevor gladly accepted me. The preacher read his part, we exchanged our vows and when asked if there were any objections the room was silent. He announced us husband and wife. He kissed me sweetly, lifting me up as he did and the room filled with our closest family and friends cheered.
Hand in hand we made our way back down the aisle as husband and wife, heading to the reception of our wedding. As we exited the room and the doors swung closed behind us I couldn't help but smile and commend myself for just how well I held it together throughout the whole thing and managed to ignore the man in the navy suit with all the tattoos.
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Hey guys! I know the wedding was kind of rushed feeling but honestly I was really just excited to get something out for you guys. This is just the beginning of our story. I hope that you guys will stick around to find out what happens. I really don't think anyone has a clue what might actually happen. I've heard a few different theories but I don't think anyone has quite guessed it. ;) Anyway! Thank you guys so much for continuing to support me. It means the world. I love you all <3