"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable." ― Mark Twain
~°~
You giggled softly as you watched the funny Boys Over Flowers parody skit Seokjin was showing you on his phone.
It had been about three hours since the proceedings of your grandfather's memorial had officially come to an end. You felt at peace after having paid your respects to him with your family, and Seokjin and his parents by your side, the familiarity of it all easing the tension you tended to feel whenever this day came around every year.
You were all now winding down after the ceremony and the departure of Seokjin's parents, unsurprised that Jin chose to stay behind instead of going home with his folks, something you have both always done since you were kids.
Spending time with your parents and your best friend was always the best way to end off a day like this.
However, as pleasant as your weekend back home was, you couldn't help but still feel something bothering you at the back of your mind.
The incident that occured with Jin the night before you came to Ulsan for the memorial.
That incident.
Since then, the man was being so indifferent, being so causal, and has not said a word about what happened that night.
Not a single word.
He was acting completely normal. Confused, you began to question whether you had imagined the whole thing.
Why was he acting as if nothing happened? It was honestly making you scared to bring it up because he was obviously avoiding it for a reason. Maybe he was just waiting for the 'right moment' to talk about it and actually explain. Right? That had to be it, because if not, then what was it?
Quickly, you shook your head, ridding your thoughts as you deemed the timing to be off. You could continue with your pondering later.
Scrunching your face up as you refocused on the video, you watched the playful re-enactment of the famous 'kiss' scene from the series done by two people you assumed were a couple, a really humorous one at that.
One of the two was dressed in a suit that was a bit too big on him, the attire replicating that of the main actor's costume from that scene, and the other of the pair was simply wearing a white fur coat. The couple was completely drenched from head to toe and both looked seemed to be sporting old-looking wigs in order to fit into the scene as best as they could.
You felt yourself cringe as you continued to watch the woman act out the desperate CPR scene while the man played the male lead's role by pretending to be passed out before he suddenly opened his eyes and reached out a hand to grab the back of his partner's neck and pulled her down again.
As soon as their lips touch once again with much less-life saving intent, the woman's eyes dramatically flew wide open and she fought her way out of his tight grip. Once out of his hold, the man sat up with the most exaggerated cocky grin on his face as he watched the expression on her face turn repulsed.
Before he could say anything, however, the woman threw a theatrical punch at his face and suddenly loud orchestral music blasted from the speakers of the phone as the scene instantly went into slow motion as the man dramatically fell back to the ground.
You snorted at the awkward accuracy of their acting out of the iconic scene that happened to be, you could literally picture the original in your head while you watched the fake ending credits to the video.
Suddenly, you felt Jin's hand casually land on your knee as he continued to pay attention to the phone as the skit replayed from the start. Your heart immediately skipped a beat at the random, yet familiar action easily made by the man, knowing that he was very oblivious to the effect it had on you.
"Sshh," Jin chuckled beside you, hushing you as he pointed his finger to the other couch where your parents were sitting together, snapping you out of your momentary shock.
Baffled, you scowled at the man beside you for a moment after registering his gushing, scoffing at him for doing so as if loud as music wasn't just blasting from his phone just seconds ago. He didn't even bother to look at you, and you concluded that he probably knew what you were thinking, making you scoff a bit again.
With one more glare, you glanced over at your mother was falling asleep on your father's shoulder as he mindlessly clicked through TV channels and caressed her arm.
You pressed your lips together, holding back your giggles as you observed the endearing scene of your parents cosying up in front of you, no longer paying attention to the video, finding them way too adorable.
Feeling your eyes, your father turned his head to look over and narrowed his once he made eye contact with you and Jin, catching the two of you staring at them.
This only made you and Jin unintentionally burst into laughter as you could tell your dad just realised that he probably forgot that you were still in the room.
You felt Jin's hand clasp over your mouth to muffle your giggles as soon as he realised how loud you were both being and for some reason, this only made you laugh more, the struggle to hold it back only getting worse. Watching the two of you, your father also started to chuckle lowly but he himself also struggled to keep it muffled.
Your mother let out a quiet groan as she awoke from her short-lived sleep, getting woken up by all the laughter that was coming from everyone else in the room.
Her eyebrow knitted as she sat up and looked around the room, confused.
"I think I should get her to bed," your father breathed out loudly to calm his laughs and slowly got from the couch, bringing your mom to her feet gently as he made sure to hold on to her closely in case she tripped from being so half-asleep, "I'll be back in a second to help you finish cleaning up,"
"Okay, appa." you smiled at him, watching the couple slowly make their way out of the living room, "We'll handle the rest of the tidying, don't worry about it, you should head to bed too,"
He stopped in his tracks and looked at you, frowning a bit because he probably didn't like the thought of leaving all the work to you.
You gently shook your head before he could say anything and gave him a little smile of reassurance, "You and Mom have been doing a lot of work for the memorial, the least we could do is do the cleaning up, especially since we were almost late,"
He didn't say anything for a few moments, clearly hesitating to give in but once he heard the sound of your tired mother groaning quietly next to him, you watched his shoulders slump a bit in defeat.
"Make sure to turn everything off when you two go to bed," he quietly said to you and adjusted his arm around your mother so that it was more secure before he glanced at you once more.
You and Jin both nodded, "Okay, goodnight,"
He then also wished you a good night in return and eventually left the room with his yawning wife at his side.
"Well, come on then," you heard Jin exhale loudly as he rushed to his feet and turned to face you with his hands going to hold his hips in some supposedly heroic stance, making you roll your eyes at him.
"Those dishes won't put themselves away," you breathed out and stood up as well and quickly headed to the next room to clear whatever was left on the Jesa table, making sure that the incense was completely burnt out before letting Jin grab your free hand and pull you over to the empty kitchen.
Now that you and Jin were alone once again, as you both got to taking the freshly clean dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away, you unintentionally found yourself letting your thoughts wander once again, your brain quickly grabbing the opportunity of being winded down in a more secluded space as soon as it appeared.
You began to think about the video you were watching with Jin earlier and it soon caused flashbacks to randomly rush into your mind, and you felt something in your belly flutter harshly, making you shift on your feet a bit as you put away a few bowls.
You thought back to the little incident from two days ago, just before you and Jin returned home for your grandfather's memorial.
Again, your heart skipped a bit at the vivid memory.
The memory of Jin suddenly trying to kiss back at your apartment.
You fought back a cringe as you recalled how you had literally flung yourself off of the bed and right onto the floor in order to get away from the man as if there wasn't a smarter way to achieve this escape.
After you both got over the initial shock of your fall, you immediately fell into an awkward atmosphere that was quickly filled with avoided eye contact, soft clearing of throats, and uncomfortable giggles that were forced out. Unable to stand it anymore, you found yourself bolting right out of the room just moments later, with your mind filled with clutter and a bunch of "what the fucks?"
And since then, neither of you has spoken of it ever again, and life pretty much went back to normal. Almost like it never even happened to begin with.
A part of you was really struggling to hold back from confronting the man on what the hell that was, but the avoidant and seemingly more dominant part of you was what kept you biting your tongue out of fear.
Fear of what exactly? Perhaps the thought of creating some sort of uncomfortable tension between the two of you was what really had you feeling all choked up.
What would you even say? How could you possibly start a conversation that meant that you had to ask your best friend why he suddenly tried to freaking kiss you. And it wasn't just some little kiss on the cheek or the forehead like you were used to, it was a kiss. What the hell was the man thinking?
The first time something like this happened was while he was completely drunk out of his mind, which honestly made it easier for you to avoid any sort of confrontation because you believed that there was no point in trying to confront something that only one of you could clearly remember.
But this time was different. Seokjin had been perfectly sober. Completely sober. There was not a single drop of alcohol in the man's system, and neither was there any in yours. So using the same avoidance tactic from before didn't feel as practical.
So what now?
Were you supposed to just wait around and see what he would do next? If he even were to do anything next?
The best-case scenario in your head was to simply have the both of you feign ignorance, pretend nothing happened, and continue with life as you would have before the incident.
The worst-case scenario, however, entailed more uncomfortable circumstances as a result of the dreaded talk. Things after the conversation could either be dealt with in a mature way and you could both easily move past it, or it could cause some sort of blemish in your friendship, which would only lead you into a place of uncertainty pertaining to where the two of you would go from there.
But then again, Jin did have a bit of a tendency of being immature sometimes. Take the Namjoon situation for instance. Who knew if this would only end up being a repeat of that?
The more time went by with this back-and-forth going on in your head, and Seokjin's lack of addressing a thing, the more you felt yourself getting antsy. Not knowing what would happen next, if anything, made you agitated. And because of this, you were scared that you wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer.
You were already having to hide the fact that you knew about him and Nari, and now it was starting to look like you had to also hide that you were even fazed by what happened. You had to act indifferent and unaware.
But at what cost?
"Peanut," you heard Jin call out to you and quickly turned around to look at him, realising you got lost in thought.
"Hm?" you forced a casual expression and grabbed the last few dishes you brought back from the Jesa table earlier and headed over to the sink to rinse them before packing them into the dishwasher, avoiding Jin's gaze the entire time.
"Do you think we can talk for a minute?"
Hearing his question, you momentarily froze, fighting back the urge to clear your throat.
Was he reading your thoughts?
Slowly, you straightened out your figure and shut the door to the dishwasher before making a slow turn to face the tall man once again.
You gulped, still forcing on a casual facade even though your heart seemed to have now leapt into your throat, "What's up?"
He didn't say anything for a moment and silently threw you a clean cloth so you could wipe your hands before he went to grab two beer cans from the fridge.
You watched him closely as he headed for the exit and quietly gestured for you to follow him.
Walking up the staircase that led to the second floor of the house behind Seokjin in complete silence, you started to find it hard to ignore the way your heart was racing in your chest and you swear you felt yourself losing focus for a split second.
The man in front of you stayed quiet as he headed for your room. He waited for you to walk in after him before carefully pushing the door close with his elbow.
Without saying a thing as well, you threw your phone on your bed and you found yourself completely avoiding sitting there as you got flashbacks to the incident from two nights ago again. With this, you quickly shook your head and headed straight over to the large yellow beanbag you had in your room, plopping yourself down onto it.
Jin grabbed the office chair at your desk and rolled it over so that he could sit in front of you before he finally handed you one of the beer cans after helping you to pop it open.
You nervously took a sip from the can and let your eyes dart around the room in a very uncomfortable manner. You were scared to make eye contact.
A couple of seconds went by before you heard Jin awkwardly clear his throat.
"So uhm..."
At the sound of his voice, your heart sank yet again and you heard him clear his throat once more.
You lowered your head.
"About the other night..." he started again with obvious discomfort laced in his voice.
You said nothing as you unconsciously felt your body tense up.
"I- I know it was really sudden, and frankly, I have no idea what I was thinking," he began to ramble before taking a little gulp of his beer, "To be honest, I probably wasn't thinking," he snorted humourlessly, "One minute we were kidding around like we normally do, and then the next, I had this strange urge come over me ― I suddenly just wanted to kiss you, and I don't know why..."
Still, you remained silent, unable to speak.
"It was a stupid mistake, and I know I shouldn't have done it. And for that, I am really sorry,"
You didn't know why, but hearing the clear regret in his rant made something in your chest sting involuntarily. At the weird sensation, you shifted in your seat and sipped a few times from your beer as a way to try to ignore it.
"For some reason, at that moment, I nearly forgot we were best friends."
Hearing this, another harsh sting hit your chest with a little bit more force this time and you couldn't stop the urge to clear your throat.
Mixed feelings raged through your body at his words. A part of you was glad to know that you didn't allow yourself to become delusional as a result of that moment. But then, the other part of you, the part of you that was literally in love with this man couldn't seem to handle how regretful he sounded. You couldn't help but ask questions.
Was it really that bad that the two of you almost kissed? Would it really have been that horrible if it did actually happen? From the sounds of it, you couldn't stop yourself from thinking that maybe the thought of it was repulsing him, and that was why he was so regretful.
At your thoughts, your chest pinched and you had to force back a hurt frown, letting your own thoughts get to you.
"But excuses aside," the man started once again, forcing you to look back at him, "regardless of what was going through my head at the time, I should've asked you first. That was the least I could've done. I'm sorry for not doing so,"
You wanted to say something, but after realising that you weren't able to come up with a fathomable response, you simply hummed, hoping that this would at least suffice. The discomfort amongst all the mixed feelings you were having was apparently making it difficult for you to articulate any sensible words.
Silence fell over the room and the two of you were soon left to listen to each other's quiet breathing as you began to stew in your own thoughts.
Did he really regret it that much? Did he really believe that it was going to be that bad of a moment?
Something in your heart stung at the thought.
Ouch...
"Y/n,"
Hearing the use of your actual name, you felt your heartbeat halt for a second before the thumping organ sank.
Hesitantly, you raised your head, dreading to hear what he was going to say, knowing that it was probably only going to make you feel worse.
As soon as you locked gazes with your best friend, you felt a strange shiver travel down your back. You gulped.
Jin silently placed the beer can in his hand down onto the floor next to him before carefully taking yours and doing the same with it.
All without looking away from you for even a second.
Once the man was settled again, you anxiously waited for him to speak, getting impatient as your thoughts began to run wild, trying to predict what he was planning to say.
After what felt like forever, you heard him softly clear his throat.
All this throat-clearing was really going to make your head spin.
"Since that night, I've been really bothered by everything. I've been struggling to figure out what could have been going through my mind, and I have still yet to know."
What was he trying to say?
Again, you gulped, scared of where he was going with this, "What's your point?"
He took a deep breath in and looked away from you for a couple of seconds before his eyes fell back onto your face.
"I..." he exhaled.
You swear you stopped breathing at the suffocating anticipation his build-up was causing you and you fought the urge to scream at him to just get on with it already.
It was silent.
But then just as you were about to tell him he didn't need to say anything because it was clear he wasn't very comfortable, the man spoke.
And at his words, you could've sworn your heart leapt right out of your chest.
"Can I kiss you?"
Your eyes immediately shot wide open and you felt your whole body freeze.
Alarmed, you rushed to a stand so that you could stare down at the man in absolute shock.
You watched as a look of panic quickly painted over Jin's face as he got up to his feet as well, quickly rushing over to stand close to the window behind you as he began to stumble over his words.
"I know I'm not making any sense right now, I know all of this might seem crazy, I know."
He raised his head as you glanced at him over your shoulder, "But I need your help to figure this all out,"
You quickly turned to face him with a racing heartbeat, utter confusion written all over your face, "And how is kissing me supposed to help you figure out anything?"
He shoved a hand through his hair, pushing the dark strands back in apparent frustration.
What was he doing? Was he being serious?
What if he was...
At your thoughts, unfamiliar and unwarranted excitement began to ripple in your belly and you found it difficult to ignore, causing you to feel a strange sense of boldness slowly starting to make its way into your system.
Suddenly, a strange entity seemed to invasively possess you and you suddenly found yourself speaking before you could even think to stop yourself.
"Just kiss me."
Your own words shocked you and your heartbeat even paused for a moment.
Jin slowly raised his head, eyebrows deeply furrowed as his hand slowly slipped from his hair and dropped to his side, eyes staring into you deeply.
"What?" he whispered.
Gulping, you took a deep breath in, mustering up the courage to continue with this outrageous behaviour.
"Kiss me."
"Y/n, I-"
"I said just kiss me, Jin." you snapped, eyes firmly set on him as deep regret started to seep into you.
His silence after your mini-outburst immediately had the regret rush into you entirely, and you again, began to feel yourself starting to panic, instantly regretting having the nerve to say such a stupid thing.
How freaking stupid.
Shame and embarrassment crashed over in gallons and you quickly turned away from him, rushing to stand on the other side of the room to get away from your best friend.
You felt your eyes start to sting with the approach of regretful tears.
You heard his deliberate footsteps softly approach you and your panic surged.
Spinning yourself around to face him again, you began to feel yourself become desperate to dig yourself out of this ridiculous, reckless hole.
"I- I am sorry. I don't know why I said that, I wasn't thinking-" you began to ramble thoughtlessly, deja vu hitting you as you seemed to be saying very similar things to that which were just said by Jin himself just moments ago, "I really don't know why I- I just- I just-" unable to complete your sentence because you didn't know what else to say, you groaned and took a deep, shaky breath in.
Once your eyes unintentionally met his brown orbs as soon as he stopped about two metres in front of you, you felt your breath hitch painfully in your throat and the harsh stinging in your eyes seemed to worsen.
He stared at you with a look on his face you couldn't decipher, but one thing was for sure, the man was definitely in a state of shock and confusion as to what the hell just happened. You didn't blame him. You were shocked and confused yourself.
The man probably could not believe what you just did. And frankly, neither could you.
As if the situation wasn't already uncomfortable and tense enough, you just had to make it worse.
Stupid, stupid, stupid...
Your head was beginning to spin again.
Suddenly, Seokjin took a slow and hesitant step towards you, followed by another, and then another, and another.
As soon as you registered his movements, a fresh load of panic burst right through your body and you swear you nearly yelled, but you somehow managed to keep it in.
Alarmed, you started to mindlessly ramble yet again, your heart leaping with each slow step he took towards you.
"Seokjin, listen, a lot of weird shit has been happening with us lately and we're both just not thinking straight, that's why we keep doing all this strange bullshit. There's no way that we can allow any of this to continue. I'm sure we both cherish our friendship far too much to even let such a stupid and fleeting moment of stupidity, or whatever the fuck this has been, get in the way of this. It's stupid, we shouldn't-"
"Why not?"
Your heart stopped at his sudden cut-off.
You felt your breathing grow hollow as you slowly raised your hand, catching him soon come to a stop right in front of you, making your heart jump.
You could feel his breaths.
"What? you practically whispered, backing up away from him as his question echoed in your mind.
His large hand took its time before gently holding the side of your face, cupping your cheek and forcing you to look at him just as you attempted to look away.
You took a step back as you tried to pull away, lowering your head as much as you could. However, this quickly became quite difficult as you tried to make some distance between the two of you since, mere seconds later, you felt your back hit the wall behind you.
Seeing your reach of a dead-end, Jin gently forced your head back up to him yet again.
Your heart quivered under his gaze against your will and suddenly you felt every working nerve in your legs seemingly go numb.
"Why can't we be dumb and impulsive for once?" his voice was low, "Why do we have to hold back all the time?"
Your eyes fluttered closed tiredly as your shoulders subconsciously slumped, "All the time? Jin, no..." your voice was quiet, weak.
No, you couldn't do this. You couldn't.
"Peanut," you heard the man whisper, the gentle caress of his finger on your cheek making you weak in the knees for a moment.
You started to shake your head.
"We can't,"
Saying nothing, you felt Jin take one of your hands before firmly placing it onto your chest where your heart was, his hand quickly going to lay over it as a way to keep you in place.
"Then why is your heart beating so hard?"
You pressed your lips tightly against each other, feeling more and more stuck. You wanted to deny his words, but you knew that you both could feel the violent and irritating racing of your heart.
You gulped as you felt yourself weaken more, speaking before you could even think, "Because I'm scared,"
"Of what?" his tone was low yet so soft.
You balled your hands into fists, even the one that was still held against your chest.
Again, you gulped.
"Of ruining shit, Seokjin. I'm scared that if we do this, things can never go back to the way they were before,"
"Who says they have to?" Jin responded lowly.
You didn't say anything, starting to become speechless.
Your pulsing heartbeat banged in your head.
"I'm scared too, Peanut," you suddenly heard him confess quietly a few moments later.
Upon hearing his words, you sighed and slowly let your eyes open in order to meet his once more.
"No, you're not, Jin. You're not," you countered, struggling to read the look on his face, "If you were scared, we would not be in this position right now. If you were scared, you would not be entertaining any of this more than we already have,"
"I am scared, y/n," he stated firmly, his grip on your fist tightening just a little bit, "But you want to know what I'm more scared of?" he asked you, an expectant look forming in his eyes, "I'm more scared of losing you because this cloud over us just got too much to handle since we did nothing about it,"
"You're not going to lose me, Jin." you practically blurted out, hating the way his last sentence made you feel, "Especially over something so stupid,"
Your eyes didn't waver from his, holding eye contact so he could see the serious and desperate you were feeling. You were desperate to stop this before you gave in to your temptations.
Neither of you said a thing you stared at each other intently, both of you breathing heavily without realising it as Jin mindlessly continued to caress your hands.
Without thought, your eyes flickered down to his plump lips before you could even think to stop yourself, and you felt a shiver trickle down your spine.
He was so, so close.
This endless battle between you and him was starting to make you feel cornered. Ever since the man started to make these absurd advances toward you, advances beyond the playful banter that already affected you as they were, you now no longer knew just how much you could hold out against the hidden, very evident and unmistakable desires you've always had.
Now, especially since he seemed to be showing some new kind of interest in you, and even though you were sure it was only physical, you couldn't help but still feel your heart falter against your will bit by bit. Even though you knew what this probably was, you still found yourself getting trapped in a losing battle between your rational mind and your foolish and feeble heart. Your silly desires.
The room was deathly silent as neither of you spoke. It was starting to make you feel a bit agitated.
After what felt like ages, Seokjin closed his eyes as a quiet breath slipped from his lips and he nodded.
"You're right," he told you lowly, "We shouldn't complicate anything. I'm sure this will pass eventually, there's no need to make it any worse."
Slowly, and with what seemed to be reluctance, Jin started to let go of your hands and gradually took a few steps back from you, creating some space between the two of you.
As you watched him, your heart sunk for some unknown reason and you fought the growing urge to pull him right back to you. With each step he took away from you, the more you began to second-guess everything you both just said.
You began to bite your lip and play with your hands nervously as a way to stop them from reaching out to the man.
The more you stared at one another, something seemed to shift between you, making you shift on the soles of your feet.
Yes, this was for the better. It was the right thing to do, ― The angel on your right shoulder, the more rational one was starting to voice her thoughts, trying to ease the stupid regret you couldn't stop yourself from feeling for whatever reason.
But this was something you've always wanted. Are you really going to let it slip through your fingers so easily? What was the worst that could happen? You both clearly wanted this, y/n. So what's really stopping you? ― That. That was the sound of the voice belonging to the little devil on your left shoulder, the devil who was way more impulsive and reckless than her counterpart. She added weight to your temptation.
You squeezed your eyes shut.
Angel: 'Don't do it, y/n. It's not a good idea,'
Devil: 'Who fucking cares whether or not it's a good idea? This is what you've always wanted,'
Angel: 'What one wants isn't always what is good for you.'
Devil: 'And how is a simple kiss not good for her?'
Angel: 'It's a kiss with her best friend. A kiss that could change the whole trajectory of a friendship she values so much,'
Devil: 'Honestly, I believe that as silly as this may be, they won't let it come in between them if they really don't want to,'
Angel: 'But what if it ruins things?'
Devil: 'It won't. Trust me.'
Angel: 'I'd be stupid to trust you, and y/n would be too,'
Devil: 'It's stupid to fall in love with your best friend yet look where we are? The hole has already been dug, she might as well make the most of her stupid feelings while she's as it,'
The angel said nothing.
Devil: 'Y/n. Maybe if you finally get to kiss him, that can help you get over him.'
Angel: 'That doesn't even make any sense!'
Devil: 'It does because maybe finally fulfilling this relentless desire would make it easier for her to let go of her feelings because she at least got to do it. At least once.'
Angel: 'You are making no fucking sense.'
Devil: 'You only live once. Might as well make it fun for yourself by making stupid choices and only dealing with the consequences later.'
Again, the angel said nothing, seemingly defeated.
Devil: 'We'll leave you alone now, we won't force you into anything. Just remember what I said: You only live once,'
And with that, they were gone. Just like that, leaving you with nothing but an intensified jumble of your own thoughts.
Good fucking heavens.
Your heart was racing harshly in your chest, making you squeeze your eyes shut again.
Alas, the temptation you already felt was made to worsen against your will as a result of the little exchange you just experienced in your head.
The more back and forth went on your head, the more you seemed to grow tired of rationalising anything and fighting against what you obviously wanted.
The words of the devil that had been on your shoulder started to echo in your head, starting to get to you.
'You only live once. Might as well make it fun for yourself by making stupid choices and only dealing with the consequences later.'
You hated to agree even in the slightest way, but ― she kind of had a point.
Acting on your urges may not be as bad as your worries were making you believe.
And regardless of whatever happened in the end, you were sure that you could handle it. Your bond with Jin was strong enough. Right?
You know what? Fuck it. Fuck everything.
With that thought, you forced your thoughts to a mute and shot your eyes open to look at Seokjin, catching him still looking right back at you. You realised that he had been watching you having this little internal moment this whole time, but you couldn't bring yourself to care ― at least not in this moment. The bravery you were currently starting to feel made you brush it off mindlessly as you slowly began to approach your best friend.
Seokjin's eyes widened slightly as you got closer to him but he seemed to be frozen in place, unable to make any sort of move.
Inhaling what had to be your deepest and shakiest breath yet, you stopped right in front of Jin.
And without a thought, you grabbed the back of his neck with your head and used it to pull his face down to you before you did the most stupid thing ever after whispering a soft 'fuck it' to yourself.
You crashed your lips onto his.
As you closed your eyes, a strange wave of relief and what felt like electricity quickly coursed through and you instantly felt yourself melt.
Your heart thumped violently against your ribcage and you still felt scared, but you ignored it all.
Pushing away the feelings, you pressed your lips harder onto his as you started to feel yourself gradually getting lost in the moment, quietly whispering a little 'just this once' against the man's lips.
You then felt Jin's body tense up against you.
Sensing this, your heart sunk and your eyes quickly flew open.
Shit.
Without a second thought, you suddenly pushed Jin away from you with a loud gasp falling from your mouth as your eyes went wide.
Instant regret flooded your system and you couldn't even bring yourself to look the man in the eye, the realisation of what you just did hitting you like a truck.
What in the world have you just done?
You let your urges get the better of you. You fucking let them take over.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
But just as you were about to burst out in frantic apologies for doing something so thoughtless, just as another ramble was about to leave the very tip of your tongue, you suddenly heard Jin take a large step towards you and felt your face getting cupped between two soft hands before you were gently pulled forward, your body soon crashing into a firm chest.
You sucked in a shocked breath, placing your hands on the man's chest in panic.
Before you knew it, Jin's lips suddenly crashed over yours without giving you the chance to process a thing, your mind shortly went out of control and immediately went blank. Completely blank.
Your heart fucking stopped. Yet again.
Your thoughts suddenly went to a sudden halt, and your entire body froze as a sharp gasp left your mouth. But all this didn't seem to faze the man holding you close with his lips on your own and one of his large hands slipped behind your neck.
"Just let it happen." he muttered against your lips as he pulled away slightly, "Just this once," he said, repeating the words you had mindlessly uttered just moments before.
As much as something like this did almost happen once before ― it wasn't like he was actually sober back then.
But this time; this time he was. He was pretty much sober. There was very little alcohol was in his system right now.
But you were still scared.
Seokjin pressed his lips harder into yours once again, and soon, you started to feel your body fall weak and your knees become weak in mere seconds.
And then suddenly, his lips were gone.
"Y/n?" you heard his deep voice call out, his hot breath landing on your face, and once you peeled your eyes open, only then did you realise that he was looking down at you with concerned eyes and heavy breaths escaping his soft lips.
The same lips that were just on your own just seconds ago...
"I'm sorry." he suddenly said as he slowly moved his hand away from behind your neck, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that." he breathed out, whilst trying to lift himself off of you.
Maybe you should let it happen.
All this back and forth was going to drive you insane. So honestly? Fuck it. Actually.
Jin started to move back again and you took a deep breath in.
However, his attempts to get away yet again were quickly shut down when something inside of you burst and made you suddenly reach both your arms out and wrap them around his neck.
For what felt like the nth time that night, you pulled him down again to meet your anxiously waiting lips, and all your thoughts immediately began to blur.
"Just this once." you mumbled against his lips and you felt his own pulling into a smirk against yours in a flash.
He softly sighed, "Just this once."
Seconds later, Jin pressed his plump pink lips fully on your own. Your brain went numb as you, once again, felt yourself melting.
Fuck.
At first, the kiss is slow yet somehow hinted with passion, with an oddly calming and in-sync pace to it. But quickly, it turned into something much more heated and urgent, and before either of you knew it, Seokjin's hoodie and shirt soon made themselves at home on the floor of the room, right beside your feet.
One of Jin's hands somehow found itself on your waist, clutching it gently under your shirt. His other hand which was previously behind your neck slipped lower to cup your jaw securely.
You mindlessly moved your small hands into his soft hair and slowly started to run them through the strands over and over again, gripping them every now and then.
The room was starting to feel hot.
With no hesitation, you parted your lips slightly when you felt his tongue swiping along your bottom lip, and he immediately plunged his tongue into your mouth the second you allowed him access.
The hand that was under your shirt slowly began to move upwards, causing your shirt to lift up at the movement. You let it happen.
He then started to kiss down your neck and moved his large hand behind you and lifted you up slightly so that he can grab hold of your bra clasp and he quickly unclipped it with a single hand, easily so.
With your blessing, he absent-mindedly helped you slide off both your shirt and bra, but before he could get a proper look at your upper body, both your arms were quick to shoot up to cover up both your breasts self-consciously.
"Stop." he said to you lowly, "I want to see you." he gently pushed your arms to the side revealing yourself to him, "Properly this time."
Your face heated up when you realised that he was actually referring to the little 'towel incident' that transpired weeks ago.
Seokjin chuckled lowly at your flustered state, finding it amusing, "Don't be shy. You have an amazing body."
Hearing his words, your heart flutter and you felt a familiar moisture start to form in your underwear.
Slowly, you lowered your arms, heat rushing to your face as your ears went red and your eyes lowered.
Without saying anything else, the man hooked his hands under your thighs to lift you up and carry you over to your bed. And not once did you protest, excitement bubbled through every atom within you, and you could barely control yourself.
You didn't say a word as he slowly lowered you on the bed, bringing himself to hover over you as he secured his spot between your legs and you instantly felt his bulge pushing into you a bit.
Suddenly one of his large hands reached out to cup one of your breasts and you gasped, "Seokjin,"
But before you could go on to say much else, you were cut off when his lips suddenly attached themselves to your neck and he immediately started to suck and nibble at the spot ― marking you.
It felt so good...
Jin continued to suck at your skin before the unexpected sound of a phone's ringtone suddenly blasted close to you and caused the both of you to come to a very abrupt pause. Interrupting your very intense moment.
You stared up at the man above you with wide eyes, finally realising what was happening, and the same thing must've happened to him because he immediately scurried off of you, quickly moving to push himself back on the headboard of the large bed.
You quickly shot up from the bed, standing at a reasonable distance from it as you instinctively covered both your breasts with one arm and tried to gather your thoughts, heaving with your heart still continuing to race.
Holy shit.
The man stared at you with dilated eyes and you noticed how swollen his lips had now become in a matter of minutes.
The sight made something in your tummy flutter strangely.
You and Seokjin stared at each other, wide-eyed, as reality kicked in. You could not believe what you had actually just done. Did you really just do that?
What the hell were you thinking?!
The sound of the loud ringtone then returned after having stopped for a few moments and forced your eyes away from Jin as your eyes started searching for the device.
Once you caught sight of your ringing cellphone on your bed, right next to Jin. You rushed over to grab it just as the said man managed to take a quick peep at the screen before you hurried right back to the spot you had been standing in.
You finally glanced at the screen and your eyes almost bulged out at the name you read on it.
It was Hoseok.
"Take my hoodie." you heard him mutter awkwardly and you looked up to see him pointing down at the floor, "It's a Facetime, isn't it?"
Turning your eyes to look at what he was pointing at, you found the man's blue hoodie on the ground not too far from you.
With no hesitation, you quickly did as you were told quietly before rushing out of the room without a word and with the hoodie securely covering your upper body, not bothering to spare your best friend another glance as you freaked out.
As you threw the hood over your head and carefully tugged at the strings so that your marked neck wouldn't be put on display.
You practically flew down the stairs as you rushed to the kitchen, trying to catch your breath as you prepared yourself to call Hoseok back, trying to pull yourself together so that you would not raise suspicions.
As if the man would somehow know what you just did.
Amidst your mini breath exercises, the sound of the loud ringtone came on again and you nearly screamed from being startled, realising that your mind almost slipped.
Taking one last deep breath in, you gulped and finally answered the call, raising the phone in front of your face as you tried to push away your thoughts.
As soon as Hoseok's face showed up on your screen, you forced a wide smile and waved at him as his face lit up once he saw you.
"Hey, princess!"
"Hoseok..." you greeted nervously, lifting the phone properly in front of your face slowly, "Hi."
~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°
*(Appa = Father/Dad)*
Hey, loves!! I did not mean to make this as long as it ended up being omg. Sorry about that!!
How was the chapter though??
I apologise if it was a bit all over the place lmao.
I hope you liked it anyway!!
Let me know what you think in the comments hehe.😁
BYYEE!!!
~J🌻