Chapter 44: Sometimes
April
Just like when I believe she was nothing
She was something
You went running
How you gonna do me like that
I still want you back
Man I still want you back
Oh, Lord have your mercy
For loving him religiously
I should be praying for better things
Instead of praying for a man
Who don't give a fuck about me
Sometimes they do come back
And sometimes they don't
Sometimes the love will last
But sometimes it won't
[Sometimes: K. Michelle]
April hung up with Chris and sighed deeply. She was still in her feelings and definitely feeling a way. The way April felt she was ready to end her me-cation and run up on a bitch but she was trying so hard not to let Millie get to her. Any other time that shit would roll off but not today. It was way too personal and way too deep. It didn't matter where she went or how much she kept to herself drama always seemed to find her. All she wanted to do was get away and focus on herself yet Millie, Dave, Chris, and her family was on her mind. Peace of mind and a little bit of happiness is all she wanted. She didn't ask for much just happiness. Was it too much to ask for? Shit, she even sacrificed what could have been love. So she had no more to give. All the way in Jamaica and still problems came her way. April just couldn't escape. She just couldn't win.
Millie had been asking better yet begging and pleading for an ass whooping for months on end and if April was in the states she would have given her exactly what she was asking for. She was tired of being quiet. She was tired of protecting niggas. She was tired of turning the other cheek when all she kept receiving was slap after slap in the face. April knew her and Millie were going to have to cross paths either voluntary or involuntarily and at this point she was more than ready to put her in her place. Millie was acting like she was untouchable and maybe that was April's fault for letting her slide so much. But in all actuality all April had to do was place one phone call and get shit handled but this right here had her name written all over it. She was going to personally take care of it.
Boundaries were definitely crossed and words were spoken that couldn't be unsaid and therefore something had to be done. Yes something had to give and that's just why April went in on her ass the way she did. She might have not been able to fuck with her physically at the moment but she could rattle her ass mentally and shake some shit up until she could. April was all for being a grown woman and talking shit out but she knew words weren't going to cut it this time around. Besides words couldn't express how she truly felt. She was already questioning her worth and now she felt like Millie had directly come for not only her son but her motherhood and she wasn't having that.
Then there was Chris who she had to calm down before he did something that would've gotten him into some shit. She knew he was tired of seeing all the subliminal messages Millie was posting long before she had poked the bear and if she didn't handle it soon reckless Chris would resurface and show his ass and she didn't want that shit. Chris was liable of fucking up your whole life and his own in the process so she couldn't have that.
All April wanted to do was go back in time before she met Millie and enjoy what she had with Dave for just a little while longer. Shit was simple, pure, fun, and enjoyable. She hated how her heart betrayed her. She hated how her heart no longer belonged to her. Yes it was hers and functioned properly like it should but it was as if it now belonged to someone else. That someone being David Brewster Jr. Dave had managed to steal her heart, put her on a pedestal, and walk away without looking back as he walked into the sunset with her beating heart right in the palm of his hands unknowingly. Her heart just wouldn't let her let go of him and whether she wanted to admit it or not she wasn't ready to let go. She wanted him and all of him but couldn't have him. That was life...her life's story. We as a people always want what we can't have even when we know it belongs to us.
Hearing his voice over the phone after so long made her heart pitter patter to the same rhythm it did every time she heard it making its own musical notes that only beat for him. The fact that it wasn't a social call and he was defending the same bitch that was trying to make her life miserable boiled her blood. April knew Dave knew right from wrong and his bitch was definitely wrong.
April had asked about his bitch more than once and he had ample opportunity to say what he felt about Millie and run back to her. Time and time again Dave told her that she had nothing to worry about yet here she was single while he was dating the same bitch he supposedly wanted no parts of. Damn why couldn't life be simpler. April wondered why she couldn't just fall in love with someone who had no baggage, get married, have children, and live happily ever after. Why did life and love have to be so complicated? It was easy to fall in love and hard to fall out of it. They weren't even broken up for that damn long before Dave and Mille got back together and then to add insult to injury he moved her right on in and had her sleeping in her spot and wearing the same t-shirts of his that she use to wear. Boy life was funny.
April got up from the daybed with her cup and phone in her hand, went back in the house, placed the now empty cup in the sink, grabbed her apple EarPods, made her way back outside, and made her way to the beach which was right there on the property she was staying at. Her security team was on her heels yet a few steps away to give her just enough space and privacy. She turned on her music and started walking alongside the beach singing to herself trying to shake off the negative energy. This trip was for positive vibes only. It was her chance to get right with herself.
The sun was still shining yet it was slowly starting to set. The water still different shades and hues of blue and the waves still crashing amongst them-selves slowly eased her mind as she stopped walking and faced the water taking in all the beauty it had to offer. It was peaceful and serene. It was just what she needed and just what the doctor ordered. April had finally calmed down or at least she thought she did until she heard the next song beat drop. She couldn't do shit but shake her head as DJ Holiday started the intro.
We're a different breed baby
You're not ready for this life
You gotta jump without a parachute
Change your life with one swipe, aha
Oh, what they think about you
Fashion week in Paris, vacation on white sands
Yachts and shit, stay loyal, we got you
It was one of her favorite songs on Dave's Karma 2 mixtape called Day Dreaming. Dave's voice penetrated her ears as if he was standing right behind her. She wrapped her arms around herself as she felt his arms wrapped firmly around her feeling every touch without him actually being there. April could smell his scent like it impregnated the air around her. She could feel his calm aura surrounding her yet he was nowhere in sight. He was busy playing house with a female April knew he didn't want. DJ Holiday was right though April and Dave were a different breed but Dave was the one who wasn't ready for this life and maybe he could change Millie's life with one swipe but not hers. April could do all of that for him and no matter how much more money she had compared to him it never made a difference because all she wanted was him and him alone. She was willing and had already accepted all that came along with him but now he wasn't hers and she wasn't his.
He belonged to someone else. Dave had always belonged to someone else. He belonged to someone else even when he claimed he wasn't. While he was so busy trying to claim April and slowly repairing her broken heart his was already beating for someone else even if he wouldn't admit it. He was so busy trying to make sure that April was all of his but never once had he done the same for her. Dave talked a good game and made her feel like this was it for her that she had finally gotten what she wanted, love. Dave made her feel beautiful, worthy of love, and so much more. Now she wished she hadn't fallen so hard.
I've been on some other shit lately (Holiday Season)
They tried to tell me settle down
But I'm done messing around, girl
Usually, this shit just don't phase me
But you held a nigga down
I've got all these women around me
Still you got a nigga in a day dream, day dream, day dream
Yeah, you got a nigga in a day dream, day dream, day dream (oh, nah)
Dave had absolutely been on some other shit lately and yes he was ready to settle down and he did but it wasn't with April like they all thought it would be. April couldn't talk for him but she knew he stayed in her day dreams and even invaded her dreams while she slept. To her it just wasn't fair. He got to move on even if he moved ten steps backwards while she was single and missing him heavily. If only she had never met him or at least kept her phone number to herself shit would've been different. April let the song play out because of course she loved his music or maybe she liked to torture herself. Either way he was now heavily on her mind like always. At this point when wasn't he on her mind? She could remember all the times they spent together, getting to know each other, their likes and dislikes, claiming each other, and now she felt like all that work had been for absolutely nothing. It was like being in the clouds floating on cloud nine to falling face first to the ground without anything to catch your fall. Reality was a hard pill to swallow sometimes.
You stuck with my ass...
I ain't going anywhere...
I'm staying right here...
You MY woman...
Understood I ain't bout all that either but trust if you mines they're gonna know...
I'm not gonna hide my woman and since you are mines once this shit is over with ole boy they're gonna know...
I'm always have your back...
At this point in my life I'm done with her...
When you find a treasure you gotta do what ya gotta do to keep it...
April could remember it all like he had just spoken those very same words to her today. Those words were nothing but bullshit. She couldn't understand what she had done so terribly in her past life that had her present life spiraling out of her hands. It seemed like she had no control over anything when it came to her love life. Did she do something bad? Was karma biting her in the ass and if so for what? She had more drama with the men in her life compared to the women she use to deal with from time to time. Maybe that's where she should've been looking. Men weren't doing it for her. They played too many games and they couldn't stick to the script.
With women she knew it could cause problems too and their emotions ran high but at least with a woman she knew what to expect emotionally. They could comfort each other in ways that a man couldn't. But then there's the messiness and the attitudes. Did April really have time to handle and go through all of that? Thinking about it more she came to the conclusion that she was better off by herself. At least by herself she had no worries. She couldn't let herself down.
Starring out into the ocean her mind was in another zone as her body just stood there frozen in place. How could she have everything but the one thing she truly wanted and desired the most? Love that's all she wanted. Chris couldn't love her the way she wanted and Dave never made it to that point. Her sudden sadness and mind drowned out everything around her until...
"WHAT THE FUCK" she shouted as her body fell roughly to the ground and into the sand. What the fuck was wrong with people pushing her? She was pissed off. She was already in her feelings and now this.
"I'm so, so sorry miss" the guy put his hand out to help her up which she took. What the fuck was she paying security for if they couldn't catch her before she fell? April looked at them and rolled her eyes as she wiped herself off roughly talking shit under her breath.
"Next time be careful where ya going" she spat angrily.
"Ma I'm sorry I was playing football with my boys and I thought I had it handled" he peered down at her.
"Then you need to try another sport because clearly football ain't for you" she shook her head and picked up her phone and EarPods that were now covered in sand.
"Ouch that hurt" April finally looked up at him as he held his heart as if she had just broken it and hurt his feelings.
What she saw standing before her was nothing but sex on legs. He stood at maybe 5' 10, 5' 11, his skin sun kissed just the right amount looking like toasted caramel, those pretty brown eyes, and the beard he wore made him look daddyish and damn right sexy. Those platinum blonde curls and that lone dread looked good on him. April could just imagine his head between her thighs while she raked her hands all throughout his curls. He was a walking masterpiece. Ole boy was liable to make any female soak her panties on sight.
"My body hurts too but you don't see me complaining" she sassed making sure to keep her eyes on his face dreading if she looked down she'd be staring at his trunk clothed body while drool dribbled out the side of her mouth making her look like a plum fool.
"Please let me make it up to you" he spoke sincerely. At least she hoped it was sincere. Nowadays she was giving all niggas the side eye. No one could be trusted.
"And how would you do that. You already done pushed me what else could you possibly do" April quipped and rolled her eyes as she sassed him.
"I'll keep apologizing until you accept my apology. The least I can do is take you out to eat my treat"
"I can always eat but I don't know if I want to eat with you"
He raised his hands surrendering. "Ok I get it. I fucked up but I still won't stop until you say yes" he smiled at her showing off his perfect smile.
"Drip Drop Drip Drippity Drop" said her pussy as it clenched repeatedly.
"Well I'll be here for a while I guess you have time to keep asking" she smirked and turned away from him walking off trying to keep her smile to herself. She could feel him staring at her ass so she gave him a little something to look at as she accidently dropped her EarPods and bent down ever so slowly to pick them up. April heard somebody running up on her and didn't attempt to move. She knew exactly who it was and besides security wasn't about to let shit go down.
"Can I at least get ya name" he asked her but she didn't turn around.
"April and by the way you owe me some EarPods" and with that she walked off with a little pep in her step and made her way towards the beach home. "Maybe some time out here won't be so bad after all" she spoke to herself and smirked then bit down on her bottom lip as she entered the house. Then just like that she abruptly stopped walking as realization kicked in. He was a familiar face. She knew him and at one point in time April knew him very well. It was Twin!
Before she could give it any other thought her feet were rushing her back outside and to the beach as her eyes studied the people on the beach like a hawk. He was nowhere in sight. This couldn't be. Out of all places and all these years they had finally bumped into one another. If God was putting her through a test then this was one hell of a test. Twin...Twin...Twin. Twin was the love of her life at one point in time. He was way before Dave and Chris. Twin or better yet Sabir Chantly was her first real boyfriend, her first love, and the first man she gave herself to. Twin held some weight when it came to her heart. It may have not filled up the weight it did with Chris or even Dave but he still had a place there. How could he not?
They dated her sophomore year in high school all the way up to her senior year until they mutually decided to end things. He happened to be a senior when she was a sophomore. Their breakup wasn't because she didn't love him or he treated her wrong but Twin was a thug nigga selling drugs and just out and about living that lifestyle. He loved her of course and probably still loved her to this day but the way he was living his life he didn't want to bring her down with him when she had so much going for herself. When it came to Twin's lifestyle and how he made his money it never really bothered April. She just wanted him to be safe. Her dad use to be about that life so she damn sure couldn't hold that against him or judge him. She knew a nigga had to eat and drug dealing was not only his but also his family's source of income. All he was trying to do was take care of his family and help his mother with her bills because her job wasn't paying her enough.
The only reason April agreed to call it quits is because she would be off to college and wouldn't be able to give him the time and attention she thought he deserved. So friends are what they opted to be. After they broke up they'd keep in touch here and there but after while they drifted apart. Twin was her dude though. He always looked out for her. He always made sure she was straight. Twin didn't come from a wealthy family so drug dealing was a job for him and he always made sure April was taken care of even when he knew that she was already straight. He knew her father was about that life and making sure his girls were well taken care of but April was his little lady so he wanted to do right by her as well. He might have not been able to give her the world but Twin gave her what he could and that was more than enough for April.
Twin was the guy that all the hood niggas wanted to be and be around. All the girls swooned over him and he was well known but April and his family always came first. He wasn't worried about making friends or fucking other chicks let alone entertaining them. He had his loyal day ones and April was all he needed when it came to chicks. She did it for him and he did it for her. They both loved each other dearly but it was puppy love and April realized that after she had gotten with Chris. Nonetheless Twin use to be that nigga you couldn't tell April shit about him. He was her bae, her nigga, and that's what it was. Most importantly he was her friend.
She'd just hoped she'd run into him again or that he would actually come back to her place like he said he would. She'd love to catch up with him and see how he's been. Physically he looked like he was doing damn good but of course she wanted details. Knowing Twin he'd fill her in without hesitation. April hoped that his life had turned around for the better because he actually was a cool dude. He was just doing what he had to do for his family. He was only taking on the role of being the man of the house just like most young black men were these days when they had an absentee father. He might've been young back then but he was doing a pretty good job.
Thinking about Twin only made her think about Dave and what he was doing for his family. Family always came first and he was just being the man he wanted to be for his daughter and no matter how April felt about his and Millie's relationship it just made him look like a man in her eyes. It made him look stupid but still a man and she couldn't help but respect it. Back inside the house April went straight to her bedroom and to the bathroom to start a nice hot bath. She felt like she needed it. She just wanted to sit back, soak, relax her body, and get her mind focused on the goals she had set for herself. All she wanted to do was blow a big fat one in the air and have a nice fruity alcoholic drink but she was playing it safe just in case and she was also going through a cleansing. She was detoxing her body from all impurities. April wanted to be a 100% in all aspects of her life mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and she was determined to get there by any means. She was going to make sure that she was straight and on point by the time her me-cation was over.
Jacuzzi tub filled with bubbles and a calming bath bomb she stripped out of her clothing letting them fall where they land. April turned on her music and slowly stepped inside the tub easing her body into the water. She loved hot water but made it a tinge too hot. April felt like her mother had ran her bath water for her. You know how it is when a parent runs their child a bath and the shit be so hot you step in and step right the fuck back out and they make you step right back in so you have to ease your whole body in slowly but still jump as soon as your ass hits the water. Yea it was hot like that but once she was fully emerged she was good to go.
Eyes closed, music softly playing in the background, and head resting against the tub April's mind finally eased into somewhat of a happy place. Well that was until Best Part by Daniel Caesar and HER came through the speakers. She absolutely loved the song. It held so much meaning. April reached for her phone and went straight to IG. She didn't know why but she felt like she needed to put some shit in the air so she snapped a picture of herself making sure the bubbles were covering her breast just right and posted then captioned it "If you love me won't you say something...If you love me won't you...Love me won't you". Once it was posted she placed her phone back down and continued to relax and get her mind right.
Ladies and gents I present to you....
Mr. Sabir Chantly aka Twin
_________________________________________
-Hey guys happy reading and hope you enjoy 😊
-Sorry there wasn't much dialogue but this was just to let you in on what's going on in April's mind and what's she's going through 😔
-I know y'all want her to get over her feelings but trust it isn't that easy to just let someone go that you deeply care about 😔
-Why is someone always pushing our girl though 🙄😂
-Sabir Chantly will be played by OBJ and NO he will not be famous..he's regular degular smhegular😂😂
-I have so many plans for this story I can't wait to see how everything unfolds 😫
-Any,who sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries ☺️
-If you are reading and not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please and thank you 🥰