Kamilla:
"You'll see." I taunt as I put the book away and conjure a portal. I focus carefully on the location my contact told me about; the place I'm headed is an old pawnshop in Brooklyn that's a front for selling illegal weaponry. I make sure that the portal appears in the back room, hoping no one is around, but even if they are, I know I'll be ready. I conjure my magical swords and step through the portal. As soon as I reach the other side, I take stock of my surroundings, the room is dark without any windows, so I wait a moment and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. It looks like I'm inside an old warehouse, when suddenly my nose stings; sensing an overwhelming smell of dirt and filth. To my right are several tables loaded with various illegal weapons with unusually advanced technology. But I don't have time to wonder about them, as I scan the room for movement. Luckily, there's no one here, so I search the room methodically, looking for a safe. I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to leave Vibranium out in the open.
I spot an old-looking rusty metal safe in the left corner and rush to it. It's got to be in here! I cast a spell to open the safe, but before I can complete it, I hear voices and approaching footsteps. I duck under the table, cursing under my breath. Then I hear the door creak as someone steps inside, I can see brown loafers and grey sweatpants from underneath the table and I let out a silent breath of relief, it's just one guy. Even though I heard three distinct voices, as long as I'm quiet I'm certain I won't attract anymore unwanted attention. Time to get into stealth mode, and take him by surprise.
The man begins whistling an old show-tune, so I wait, my knees locked in a crouch, breathing silently through my nose. Once he's closer to the table I'm hiding beneath, I swing one sword at his legs, before I roll out from under the table. He lets out a cry of shock, but I leap up and press my hand over his mouth, stifling his screams as I slit his throat. I gently lower him to the ground to avoid making any noise and rush back to the safe as he bleeds out. One less illegal arms dealer in Brooklyn. I think to myself, trying to dismiss the guilt I feel. I know I didn't have to kill him. But why should I spare a thug? He would have killed me in a heartbeat or done worse. I vanish my swords then cast a spell causing the safe to break open with a slight cracking sound. I hear footsteps just outside, so I grab the vial of vibranium from the safe and lunge to the portal and leap through. I land safely in the hallway back inside the Sanctum. Then turn around to close the portal, only to find that a black haired thug has followed me through and is sprinting towards me at full speed.
"What the hell do you think your doing?" He growls, his voice angry and raspy. The man with slicked-back hair lunges towards me, his hairy fists narrowly missing my head as I dodge quickly. Immediately I spring forwards and swing my left fist into his face, then sweep my leg up to kick him forcefully in the chest. He grunts painfully as I knock the wind out of him, then backs away from the portal before pulling a revolver from his pocket.
"That's cheating!" I snap impatiently, as I cast a spell that teleports the gun from his hand to mine, then I make it disappear.
"You won't be needing that." I snap, before lunging at him and pummeling him with my fists. I knock him to the ground and pin him down with my fists. Punching him over and over, relentlessly, letting my fury take control.
"Die, die, die!" I roar, I let the familiar rage coat my thoughts, propelling my movements as I beat my fists against his skull. I can see nothing but blood and flecks of white, as I drift far, far away.
Perhaps I could fight off this impulse, if I really wanted to, but I don't. It feels too good to give in, just as it doesq everytime. Too good, to let my rage surface and transport me to another place entirely. To demand the world take some responsibility for my suffering. To give back what I've so often been given. Vengeance is mine. Let him know true suffering, as I have.
I keep pummeling him, lost in a fiery daze, until I hear Loki distantly calling my name.
"Kamilla!"
I stop punching and suddenly notice the blood coating my hands and the unconscious man's gruesome face. Horror shrieks through me, Shit. I Let myself drift too far this time!
His head is a bloody pulp; a gore-filled stump smeared against the floor. I look up at Loki who's standing in his doorway his eyes wide with alarm. I'm overwhelmed with burning shame I fear may swallow my whole, as my rage fades away. But then, I notice a threatening presence looming behind me, and suddenly a large knife pushes against my throat.
"So, you must be the mysterious Executioner everyone's been afraid of." A gruff, hot voice sneers into my ear. I freeze not daring to move.
"Your nothing but a little girl." He chuckles his voice low and dangerous, and I try not to gag as I catch the hot stench that rolls off him. He reeks like booze, smoke and weeks of unwashed sweat.
"I'm going to take my time and enjoy killing you. Perhaps I'll even keep your head as a nice little trophy." He threatens, his knife biting into my throat.
Suddenly I hear a whoosh as Loki hurtles his dagger. It soars from his doorway and zooms past me before plunging into my attacker with a thud. The force of it knocks us both down and in the chaos, I swipe the knife from the thugs hand while he struggles to yank Loki's dagger out of his shoulder. I immediately lean down and slice his throat in one fluid motion. He lets out a shocked gurgle as blood spurts from his throat and coats my face with his warm and metallic tasting blood. Disgusting.
A part of me twists with remorse. Not over the fact that I killed him, but with regret that I didn't give him the far more painful and gruesome death he deserved. I watch him flounder as his life drains away before stepping away from his body feeling both justified, and nauseous. I turn to look at Loki, who has made no attempt to leave his room.
"You saved my life." I say amazed. My heart leaps in my chest, maybe I'm winning him over. Maybe he's finally starting to see me as a friend. I hesitate, wait a second.. How was he able to do that?
"How'd you break the enchantment?" I ask, eyeing him suspiciously.
His thin lips spread into a sly smile and his emerald green eyes shimmer. "You have your tricks, I have mine."
I put my hands on my hips and stare at him feigning disinterest until he continues, "Fine." He snaps, "Since you're clearly so desperate to know, I'll tell you. I've been weakening the enchantment little by little since I first arrived." Then he sighs, seemingly frustrated. "But that's as much as I can do, I still can't escape this despicable room. And since I have now alerted Dr. Strange to my ability to weaken his spell, by saving you." He adds giving me a pointed look. "Then I'm going to require you to immediately use that ring on your hand and get me the Hel out of here."
I smirk, relieved that he can't escape without my help. "What's in it for me?" I say, mimicking his lofty and calculating voice.
His expression sours, "You get to keep your life." He taunts, baring his teeth in a wicked grin.
I turn around and use the ring to close the portal behind me, while chuckling quietly at his empty threats. I consider his offer; I have no intention of letting him escape before Thor arrives. It just wouldn't do, to have him wandering around the Sanctum causing chaos. And neither can I afford to lose track of him; he must remain confined. But I do want to earn his trust and eventually his friendship. I hoped that by stealing a book of spells, he'd be more inclined to trust me. Not that I intend on handing it over. I know Strange will realize it's missing before long, after all, there was a reason I stole it in broad daylight. I suspect he'll be here any second now. I turn back to Loki, stalling as I slowly pull the book from my purse.
"Hmm, I dunno if I should." I taunt. "How about I look for the right spell instead?" I open the book and begin flipping through it casually, I've only learned about half of the spells in here.
His green eyes narrow, and his voice grows cold, "I don't know what game you think you're playing, but I implore you to hand them both over to me this instant!"
That's definitely not happening, I think to myself, I just need to keep stalling. "Okay, okay but first-"
Suddenly Dr Strange appears through a portal, looking furious as he strides quickly towards me.
"This is your attempt at regaining my trust?! You drug Master Wong and steal his ring, so you can steal a book from the library and give it to Loki? Have you gone completely mad!?" He accuses, his voice incredulous. "This is a new low, even for you!" He snaps his fingers twice and the book and the ring instantly appear in his waiting hands. I hold my breath, hoping that he doesn't notice the real prize, my vial of vibranium that's tucked neatly away in my purse. He leans towards me, his eyes full of fury, "Don't you realize how dangerous he is?"
I don't respond, wondering if he's noticed the two corpses at my feet.
He glances at the corpses and adds, wincing at the sight, "Don't think I don't know what you've been up to! Sneaking out at night to go on murderous rampages! Wong told me about everything you've been doing!"
I recoil. I thought no one knew about my nightly escapades. I've been so careful to cover my tracks. He must see the shock on my face because he adds, "Why do you think that after your second year of training Master Wong refused to teach you more advanced magic and insisted you see a therapist weekly? It's not because you missed your lessons, it's because he was trying to help you! He saw how unstable and full of rage you were and naively thought that moving you to the New York Sanctum would allow him to keep a better eye on you! You're angry that you can't join the Avengers, but they don't want you to join them! You're far too reckless! Your desperate need for revenge makes you dangerous. It makes you a threat!"
I stare at my feet feeling ashamed. All this time... I just can't believe it, all this time Wong knew what I was doing in secret each night. They all knew. Embarrassment burns through me.
Oh well. Soon, it won't matter. I think trying to cheer myself up as I shove the shame down deep inside. Either way, I'm relieved that he's too worked up to realize that this time was different. Today, I was only there to steal vibranium, I hadn't planned on slaughtering anyone. Out of the corner of my eye I see Loki in the doorway watching intently; his eyes sparkling with glee. Great, he's enjoying this! Irritation burns in my veins, I didn't want him to hear about my past. I try to tune them both out, this isn't real. I tell myself. Just pretend you're watching a movie about someone else, focus on your goals. I let my mind drift off into space as I plan out my next steps carefully.
"Are you listening?!" Strange's voice interrupts my thoughts as his voice raises even higher. "You think you can be the judge, jury and executioner! But you're wrong! The more life you take, the crueler and more desensitized you become!"
Finally, I snap, "It's not cruel to kill criminals and child abusers!!" Besides," I try to tamper my flaring rage, "I always give them an option; either surrender and I'll turn them into the police or try to flee and die. It's not my fault those disgusting creatures always choose death!"
"But that's not your job, why can't you just leave it to the police?" Strange interjects clearly frustrated.
"Leave it to the police?!" I scoff incredulously.
"Are you shitting me? They have neither the time, nor the abilities that we do! And some of them are too corrupt to care. In less than four years I have stopped more than six-hundred criminals involved in child sex trafficking!" I expect this to cause a reaction, but he just stares at me his face blank and unimpressed. The tenuous hold I have over my temper finally crumbles and my mind begins to float away, as my voice rises to a deafening roar.
"We have the ability to save children! We're stronger, smarter and faster than everyone else! And how do we use it? By hoarding magical objects and protecting the sanctums from monsters. But what about the human monsters? What about the 4.5 million children who are trapped in the black-market of sex slavery!? You claim to be masters of sorcery sworn to protect and watch over the world with the Orb of Agamotto, but you're all so fucking self-absorbed!! How often do you use the orb to find kidnapped and missing children?" I pause to take a deep breath, my body trembling with fury and try to regain control. But his gaze is on the ground and he shifts on his feet silently, so I continue, my voice quieter, but still just as lethal.
"And don't try to tell me that the Orb wasn't meant to be used that way, because I've been using it to free stolen children and hunt down their abductors almost every week for the last four years!"
At this his head snaps up and his eyes narrow, "Then it is for your own good that you are banned from entering the Chamber of Shadows."
"What the hell!? You're banning me from everything! Why am I even here? WHY NOT JUST BANISH ME?!" I challenge, eager to plant the idea in his head.
"You are here so I can keep an eye on you. And you will remain here, until I decide what to do with you." Then he sighs, suddenly deflated and adds gently, "Kamilla, I've tried to be reasonable with you. Because of your past, Wong and I have tried to overlook your..." He pauses trying to search for the right word. "Your hobby. But you are giving me no choice! I can't protect you from yourself forever! Now, I want you to clean up, and dispose of these bodies and don't pull anymore reckless stunts."
Then he glances over at Loki and casts another spell to strengthen his original enchantment, "That should hold him for now." He says, then adds. "And for god's sake, don't believe anything that foolish madman says. Don't let him mesmerize you with his ridiculous silver tongue!"
I nod silently. Seemingly satisfied, Strange turns around and exits through the portal. I let out a pent-up breath then look down at the corpses at my feet debating what to do with them.
"Well that was quite a show." Loki drawls coolly. "I rather enjoyed it. Although, I can't say I'm surprised to find out that you are a vicious murderer."
"Fuck off, Loki. I'm not in the mood." I say without looking at him.
I close my eyes and cast a spell to transport the two dead bodies into a dumpster two blocks away. Even though the bodies are gone, I still need to remove the bits of gore and bloodstains from the floor and from myself. I look down at my teal dress that is completely soaked in blood and head to my room. I shut the door behind me, making sure to lock it. Then I, let out a sigh, emotionally drained as I set my purse down and slump to the floor.
My heart is beating erratically and my thoughts are racing, I take several deep breaths and try to recall the steps Dr. Sanchez taught me to ground myself when I feel like I've lost control.
"When you are unsure of what is real, name three things you see, hear, and feel." I hear her voice telling me.
"My safe bed, the hardwood floor beneath me, and wet disgusting blood caked all over my body." I cringe but continue determinedly. "I hear the sound of my heart pounding, cars honking out in the distance and the sound of Loki pacing from next door." I swallow and close my eyes.
"I feel frightened, ashamed and angry at myself for losing control again. And I feel vulnerable, raw and terribly exposed."
Fear, anger, and hate swell up in my chest, but I push it away and clear my mind, focusing on calming my heart rate. Breathe in and out, I chant to myself. Breathe in then hold, then breathe out slowly. Finally, once I feel calmer, amd certain that I am fully in control, I strip off my filthy clothes and head to the shower. I turn on the water and step into the tub and proceed to rinse off all the blood. After I've scrubbed myself clean, I turn the heat higher and sit down on the floor so the water washes over me and penetrates my muscles. My body finally relaxes as all the tension leaves my tired limbs and I reflect over the last few days. So much has happened that I'm starting to feel emotionally numb. I focus on the fact that Loki risked himself by saving my life, for that split moment I didn't feel alone in the world. For the tiniest of moments, we were allies. We were friends.
I resolve to be whatever he wants me to be, I will make this partnership work. I'm going to make myself invaluable to him, so that he trusts me. Once I'm certain of his loyalty and certain that he won't take advantage of me... well, maybe, just maybe I can finally feel safe enough to let my guard down. I sigh. I'm so tired of being alone, tired of fighting for survival against an unjust world. I just want to rest. Part of me wants to bully him into submission, as if I can force him to be my friend. But I know him well enough to know that will never work. As much as I want to take charge, I have to let him think he's in the lead, so that he learns to trust me. If only the fool would let his guard down and stop trying to manipulate me, then I could show him that I understand him more than anyone else in the world. That he's not alone, and that he doesn't have to shut out the world. I know we can be a powerful team that looks out for each other, but after everything I know about him, I wonder if I will ever be able to really trust him. I hope someday that I can.
I exit the shower and get dressed, this time donning black jeans and a black and red striped shirt. I cast a spell to remove the blood stains from my teal dress, then grab the vibranium from my purse, looking it over hopefully. Strange didn't suspect a thing, he doesn't even realize that I've stolen some of the most powerful metal known to man. The black vial is small, no bigger than my hand, but there should be enough vibranium in it for Eitri to make me armor that is invincible. Finally I'll be untouchable! I slip the vial under my mattress and decide to begin packing my personal belongings in my suitcase. I want to be prepared when Thor arrives. Afterwards I conjure a mop and decide to have a chat with Loki to make sure everything is going according to my plan.