i waited AGES to finally write this chapter omg
listen to the song above, i highly recommend it to this chapter hehe
***
The following days passed by in the weirdest way Taehyung ever encountered. Jungkook was busy leaning over his notes and books from college, kept crying all the time but whenever Taehyung even tried to talk to him, he brushed it off and put a smile on.
There was not a single kiss between them, Jungkook slept in Taejeon's room, hugging his kid all night while crying quietly when the kid was asleep. Well, Taejeon knew his Dad was crying because he was the king in faking sleeping. But he stayed still so he could let it out. Something seemed so wrong with Jungkook and everyone could see it.
Taehyung saw it whenever he looked at him, Taejeon heard it at nights when Jungkook's sobs were all he heard. Jimin realised it when he passed by for game night but Jungkook was looking out of the window, sniffling like he just lost someone dearly important to him.
Even Jungkook's father saw it when he came by to take Taejeon out for a trip after Taehyung asked him to. But the younger didn't let anyone even talk to him, he pushed everyone away and kept reading his books for college, until his eyes shut from the tiredness he was trying to fight all the time.
"I want to visit Mommy", Taejeon said one day when they sat at breakfast table. "Can I facetime Mommy?", he asked, tilting his head towards his father. "Yeah sure", Jungkook answered quietly. "Come over", he pointed on his lap and then pulled his phone out to call Lyza. Taehyung gulped and just looked at them. He didn't think it was a good idea to talk to her, it would just make it worse.
But Jungkook didn't think about any of that, he quickly dialed the number and opened up facetime, Taejeon throning on his lap with an excited look on his face. He wiggled his hands in front of his chest, happily cheering that he'd see his Mommy for the first time in two weeks.
Yes, two weeks were over and she hadn't been back yet.
"Jungkook stop calling me", the girl's voice snapped as soon as she took the call and her face was on the screen. She was wearing nothing but a towel, her blonde locks wet from showering.
"T-taejeon wanted to", Jungkook hummed, looking away. It felt wrong to look at her like that, especially now when he realised how flawless and perfect his girlfriend was, yet his eyes darted to Taehyung immediately to ensure himself of real beauty.
"I have literally no time right now", the girl grumbled and looked at Taejeon who smiled brightly. "Mommy can I visit you!", he cheered and clapped his hands.
"No", she chuckled, glancing above her shoulder.
"Why?? Taejeon misses Mommy", Taejeon pouted but Lyza turned the camera a little away, steps heard from the background. She whispered something, then returned to the screen. "Mommy will be back in two days, yeah?", she said softly.
Taejeon pouted a little but then nodded.
"Who's there?", Jungkook asked, looking so drained out with the big bags beneath his tired eyes, worn out smile and blank face. "It's none of your fucking business, Jeon. But I'm home", she grumbled.
"I know how your house looks like", Jungkook said, sighing quietly.
"Oh, yeah? Too bad." Lyza laughed, then she ended the call.
Taehyung saw Jungkook's face dropping, "She'll be back in two days", he said bluntly. Taejeon was quiet as well now, eating his sandwich sadly. "Mommy was with someone else", the kid said, tears welling up.
"Why does everyone love somebody else!! Mommy loves other boy, Daddy loves Taehyungie, Jiminie loves Hoseoki but is with Yoongi, Cody loves me but is with dumb girl", he said confused. "It doesn't make sense", with that Taejeon jumped up.
"Taejeon", Jungkook said quickly. "Do you want Mommy and Daddy to stay together?"
"No, only if they love!! Not when always yell and cry!", the kid sobbed and even forgot how to form proper sentences now. "But Daddy cries with Taehyungie too I think Daddy can't love because he hates himself!!!"
He ran out of the room, now crying as well.
Sometimes it was even for the usually so happy and cheerful kid a little too much. Seeing all his favorite people being upset all the time, it just got to him at some point.
Taehyung sighed and got up, following the crying kid. Meanwhile Jungkook simply sat there, staring into nothing as every emotion left his face.
Taehyung sat down next to Taejeon. The small boy sat on the floor and threw plushies against the wall, anger building up. "I'm sorry you have to see all of this", the older hummed, wrapping his arms around Taejeon. "Your parents are going through a rough time, they're really young y'know? Especially your Dad never had the chance to truly find himself."
Taejeon shrugged, "I know who Daddy is, it's not that difficult!"
"Taejeon, please. It's not easy accepting yourself if everyone constantly has dumb expectations you cannot fulfill."
"No one has expectations for Daddy", Taejeon crossed his arms. "I just expect him to be happy!"
"You can't expect such a thing, true happiness is rare to find", Taehyung smiled sadly. "My Dad is happy when he is with you", Taejeon explained.
"He won't be with me for long anymore, Taejeonie", Taehyung sighed, brushing through the kid's hair. "I think he made his choice already, he just didn't tell me yet."
"Choice?", Taejeon asked confused.
"Nevermind. Don't worry, yeah? Just be nice to your Dad and don't yell at him", Taehyung asked and Taejeon agreed. "S-sorry", he said in a small voice. "Taejeon not want to yell at Daddy."
"I know", Taehyung chuckled and hugged him a little tighter. "Let's play games, yeah?"
*
"She's cheating too", Jungkook whispered this night. Tonight he slept next to Taehyung again after Taejeon told him he wants to sleep alone. There was a huge distance between them though, Jungkook always hovering away when Taehyung shifted closer.
"Don't think about it, come here", Taehyung said and opened up his arms for a hug but Jungkook only looked at him weirdly. "S-sorry I'm not in the mood", he hummed and then faced the other side. Taehyung gulped, "Jungkook", he voiced quietly, looking at him worriedly.
"Don't", Jungkook hummed. With that he got up and walked into the living room to sleep there.
Taehyung left behind with a dropped expression.
It wasn't like Jungkook didn't want to. Every inch of his body was craving for Taehyung, his heart aching painfully while he fought the urge to just snuggle up into Taehyung's arms and forget the world for a little bit.
What made him fight against it was the way he always felt like crashing into a wall whenever he wasn't alone with Taehyung.
Not a single person made it easy, everyone just had their opinions to share. Jungkook didn't want to hear any of it. He just wanted to go back to the time where everyone thought he's happy with Lyza, no one having the slightest clue that he still crushed on Taehyung.
Everyone seemed to have forgotten about their past and Jungkook missed this, he wished he could go back to this time where all his worries were about how he'd tell Lyza they'd go to another party this weekend. He didn't want to be a failure of a Dad, a boyfriend and a student in everyone's eyes anymore.
But somehow it only got worse with every passing day.
*
12 years ago.
Jungkook and Taehyung, 8 years old, sat on the swings next to each other, happily playing on the playground next to their school building.
"My Mom said you can come with us for summer holidays!", Jungkook said excited, eyes sparkling happily. Taehyung giggled, "Oh I would love to!!"
"We can have our own room", Jungkook winked, "We can kiss there!!"
Taehyung blushed a little, hiding his cheeks, "Jungkookie! We're 8!"
"So?", Jungkook grinned brightly. "I know what I want."
Taehyung bit his lips shyly, "Okay yes, but we should practice kissing", he then suggested and Jungkook jumped up from his swing in excitement. "Oh my god yeah!", he laughed and then hopped onto Taehyung's lap.
"W-wait--, now?", Taehyung asked confused.
"Yes!", Jungkook smiled, tilting his head as he wrapped his arms around Taehyung.
"B-but someone could see a-and we're both boys", Taehyung gulped dryly. "I don't care, they'll be only jealous because I have the cutest boy in the world for me", Jungkook winked and then pulled on Taehyung's shirt.
"Come on, kiss me Taehyungie!!~", Jungkook pouted his lips, waiting for Taehyung to kiss him.
Of course the older didn't think twice and pecked Jungkook's lips twice. It were two short but sweet kisses. They didn't know how it was supposed to work yet.
"Kiss me Taehyungie", a boy's voice behind their backs made both of them pull back, flinching at the rude tone the guy had. He imiated Jungkook's pouty face and then started laughing. He was a highschooler already, broad chest and already a slightly deeper voice.
Behind him were three girls standing, one of them was Lyza. Jungkook's parents had two best friends who were Lyza's parents, so they were practically forced to hang out together all the time.
Lyza only stayed still, watching them confused. She never knew about Jungkook and his preferences for boys. Especially for Taehyung.
"This playground isn't for disgusting little faggots", the guy laughed and suddenly grabbed Jungkook by his collar. "We don't tolerate your diseases here, kiddo."
Jungkook started to panic a little, eyes darting between Lyza and Taehyung.
"Let him go", Taehyung grumbled, trying to reach for Jungkook but the older boy slammed the kid against the pole of the swing, face first.
Jungkook screamed in pain, falling to the ground immediately after hitting the pole. Lyza flinched and stepped back when she heard Jungkook's nose cracking.
Taehyung tried to get to Jungkook to protect or defend him, but he didn't get that far because another boy appeared from behind a tree and grabbed him, holding his hands behind his back so he couldn't go anywhere.
Taehyung and Jungkook were so much smaller and younger, there was no way to defend themselves against those big bullies.
And no one even tried to call for help. The girls were frozen instead of running to get help for the small boys from elementary school.
"Let me go", Taehyung cried out, trying to break free but he couldn't.
Jungkook was on the ground, nose horribly bleeding, tears falling from his tears. He earned another kick, and another one. One right into his face, the next one into his lower area.
Jungkook wasn't even trying to fight himself.
"Let him go", Taehyung kept screaming, still fighting with all his energy to break free from the tight grip.
"No", the boy groaned.
"If he can't defend himself, he should keep his sexual preferences to himself", the boy laughed and pulled the crying boy up just to smash his face against the ground again, this time hitting the asphalt.
Jungkook lost consciousness and Taehyung wouldn't stop screaming, he cried and punched around himself. It was the pure horror to see his best friend being knocked down like this.
From Jungkook's face wasn't much left after a few more smashes against the hard ground. Blood everywhere, jaw broken, teeth were ripped out and his nose and eye area broken.
Completely deformed.
They would've killed him, no question. And Taehyung saw it happening inside his mind plenty of times. But luckily someone came running with the principal and two other teachers. A tiny boy with freckles came for help.
Both boys let go of Jungkook and Taehyung, they even tried to run away but they didn't get that far. The teachers caught them and immediately called the police, their parents and the ambulance.
All Taehyung did was running over to Jungkook. He hugged him so tight even though he wasn't reacting anymore. "I love you I love you I love you I'm so sorry SO sorry", he kept saying, holding Jungkook close until the ambulance came. But even then, Taehyung stayed close, clinging onto the younger all the time while he kept crying, the scenes just repeating itself over and over again.
🍂
"We reconstructed his face successfully. The good thing is, he won't have any issues after all of this, physically."
The doctor stood in front of Jungkook's room with his parents, Taehyung, Lyza and her parents.
"Thanks to you, Sir", he looked at Lyza's father, "It was possible to work with the best instruments available. Jungkook woke up this morning after one week in which we put him into coma so his body would have time to recover."
Taehyung looked at the door, "Can I go in?? He's my best friend!!"
"The bad thing is, when he woke up", the doctor gulped, "Well he's really apathetic, cried instantly and seems really confused. I'm not sure how his mental health will be affected after this."
Taehyung just stormed into the room now, he just had to see his best friend.
And there he was, laying on the bed with tears falling down his puffy cheeks. There were several scars covering his face, hopefully none of them would stay.
"Kookie!"
"Tae", Jungkook smiled a little when Taehyung approached him and grabbed his hand.
But he pulled back immediately afterwards. "I remember everything", he said in a small voice.
"Me too", Taehyung gulped. "I'm glad you're okay now", he added then. "I love you so much, Jungkookie!"
"No", Jungkook said bluntly. "Don't say that. Please don't say it", he said, his heart speed increasing. "Promise me to never say something like that ever again", he bit his lips awkwardly, hiding his face.
"B-but I do love you", Taehyung said, tears coming up. "I think I will try loving girls Taehyungie, sorry. Promise me please."
Taehyung gulped and then nodded, "Y-yeah I promise to never say it again."
"T-thanks", Jungkook turned away and sniffled quietly, wrapping his arms around himself to protect his body from anyone.
*
"Jungkook", Taehyung's voice ripped Jungkook out of his thoughts. He laid on the sofa now, staring at the ceiling with tears silently dripping down.
"I said, don't", Jungkook grumbled. "Please, Taehyung."
"No", Taehyung crossed his arms. "I can't see you like this anymore, you're a mess."
"Thanks", Jungkook chuckled weakly. "You're the last person I expected to be mean to me, but here we go", he rolled his eyes.
"I'm not mean, I just want to help you somehow."
"You're no fucking help, you just make everything worse without doing anything!", Jungkook snapped. "You're so fucking perfect and you destroyed everything all my life. It's always because I never get over Kim fucking Taehyung and everything about him. Just fuck off. You need to stop!"
"Would you stop blaming me for once?!", Taehyung suddenly growled, furrowing his brows. "No! It is your fucking fault, I'm a mess because you fuck me up. Everything would be fine if you'd just.. never existed. I wouldn't even be fucking gay or anything! You're the only dumb boy I like, I'm not gay or diseased or wrong or whatever. I'm just-j-just", he stopped when he realised what he was going to say.
Taehyung smiled a little, "Why won't we just go away? Start over somewhere else with Taejeon. Somewhere where no one knows our past or us", Taehyung hummed. "New College, new friends. No Lyza, no bullies."
"I promised my mother I'll give Lyza a chance. I literally promised it to her before she died."
"I know, you gave her plenty of chances. She didn't use a single one", Taehyung shrugged.
"While I've always been there. I never left your side. I dealt with all the bad days and nights you had, I had your back every single time. I-I try so hard to be enough for you but you don't see it", Taehyung tried, but Jungkook turned away.
"I have so much money, Kook. I can pay off the money Lyza's father invested in your surgery. I could offer you and Taejeon an amazing life, we could rent a house and buy a puppy and just be happy. Somewhere far away from all those horrible people, we c-could-"
"Stop it, Taehyung", Jungkook sniffled.
"Maybe that'd be amazing but it's not what I want", Jungkook looked down, "I want to be normal. I don't want to have to run away anymore or hide. I just want to be a normal college student with his girlfriend and a child."
"You can't force your heart to feel something it doesn't", Taehyung tried again, tears falling from his lashes. "Jungkook please just give us a fucking chance."
"No! I don't want this whole thing between us to become real. It was fun and I'll never forget it but if I could turn back time, I swear I would've never met you."
That hit Taehyung in the wrong spot, his tears doubled up, "P-please", he let out weakly.
"You know you won't get over me, you know that what we have, you won't find it in Lyza or anyone else!", Taehyung bit his lips so his tears stopped. But they didn't, he knew he'd lose Jungkook. He already did, this was the end and he knew it.
"I would like to try", Jungkook whispered.
"You tried already countless times, Jungkook please just j-just listen j-just give me a chance I'll make you happy I swear you'll never regret being mine. Ggukie, please!"
"Give me one fucking reason. Everytime I tried giving us a chance it ended up in someone bullying me for feeling this kind of way! I'm sorry I'm not as strong and perfect as every other gay kid. I'm not you or Namjoon or Jin, I'm not confident in myself Taehyung. I don't like this part of me, I don't want to stand up for it. I'm not proud of it", he looked away.
"Give me one reason why I should try anyway."
Taehyung inhaled deeply, "I have one b-but you'll hate me for it."
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly what he was about to say.
"Say it, it'll make it easier for me to leave you."
Taehyung gulped, tears overwhelming him still. "D-don't leave me! I wouldn't know what to do without you. You're all I think about. I don't have real friends except for you, my family doesn't care Koo. If you leave, I have nothing left. I always gave everything up for you", Taehyung sniffled.
"Why did you do that?", Jungkook asked.
"Because.. B-bec-cause I love you-, I'm fucking hella very much in love with you!"
Both boys went silent, staring in each other's eyes for way too long. Then Jungkook nodded slowly, "I love you too Taehyung. So, so so fucking much that it's literally killing me. But you just broke our one promise."
And with that, the younger went to Taejeon's room, woke the kid up and then left Taehyung's apartment.
He didn't come back in three days, Jimin came by once to pick up all of Taejeon's stuff but there was no sign of Jungkook having any second thoughts about leaving Taehyung once and for all.
Taehyung didn't give up hope up yet.
Three days after Jungkook left, Jimin stormed in Taehyung's apartment, wide eyes and a worried expression on his face. For a second, Taehyung thought something bad happened to Jungkook, or he decided to finally come back to him or anything. At this point, Taehyung would even be his best friend again without all the touching and kissing, he just wanted Jungkook back in his life.
The dorky smile, the kind voice and the way he laughed about the smallest things.
Taehyung missed this.
"Tae", Jimin gulped, "Did you hear about it already?", his voice was hurried, cracky and shock swung along with it.
"Hm? N-no, what happened?"
"Jungkook proposed to Lyza last night."
***
:((.