Here a new prompt proposed by
I hope you'll enjoy reading that new one shot and there are not too many mistakes.
Oh and, you can read it without fear lindaisfangirling ! :D
You left but still, you linger
In the depth of her nightmares, Shancai saw over and over that scene under the rain, Daoming Si's pleading and deeply hurt look when he stared at her, trying desperately to hold her up, to make her change her mind. And she heard herself over and over answering him these terrible, cruel words she didn't think and she would never think.
She told him she never considered him as a normal man.
She told him she would have never left him if she had really loved him.
But, truth to be told, she thought the opposite. Finally, she admitted to herself her true feelings for him and she almost turned to cry what she felt for him under the rain, she almost yelled her despair, her sorrow, her inner tear.
But, as usual, she wanted to think about other people before herself. She couldn't make Xiaoyou, Qinghe and their family pay for that.
That was why she made that choice and that was why, today, Daoming Si's horrified and painful look haunted her.
She closed her eyes while the sun slowly went down on the horizon, coloring the seawater with shades of pink, red, orange, yellow and even purple while floating ship hulls' grinding rhythmed the air with their soft pendulum moves.
You're the one who left. She mentally told herself.
You left.
But still you linger, you're waiting for him, you can't help yourself.
Deep within her, in spite of her decision, she hoped he would barge in, yelling to her he would pursue her even if he had to go on Mars, and he should find some solutions.
Even if she tried to be strong, independent; tonight, she wanted her white knight, her prince charming, came to save her, the damsel in distress.
But she cruelly hurt him.
So why would he come?
She lost him, she knew it and she had to assume that.
In one of her hands, she tightened her meteor shaped necklace in her palm while on her other hand, she tirelessly stared at that picture where they both had their head leaning against each other, their face covered with drawings. It was a memory of that night, when Daoming Si suggested to her to play cards, giving pledges to the loser, for her to forget her stress before the cooking challenge.
"Daoming Si." She whispered to the sea, to the ships with incongruous names, to the seagulls who passed above her head, to her heart who seemed to be ready to crumble to the four winds.
"Daoming Si." She said again, hoping, in a childish way, that her whisper coming from the depth of her heart would reach him from kilometers away.
She loved him.
She loved him so much – that she would always wait for him.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned back and saw her mother's concerned look. For a moment, she wanted to bury herself in the comforting warmth of her hug, unleashing her sorrow.
But she was Shancai, the weed, and she had to remain strong. She smiled at her mother, comforting her with a few words and, even if she saw her mom's skeptical look, she came back home, forcing herself to happily talk with her.
***
Being inactive wasn't in Dong Shancai's nature. She had to move forward, to change her mind. Quickly, her imaginative mind switched on and she found a new concept; to marry grilled squids with her eight treasures sauce.
With the owner's agreement, the Dong installed a stand in front of her restaurant and, quickly, their daughter's culinary idea was highly successful. Shancai didn't have time to get bored anymore, working all day long behind the grill, hastily cooking her squids, covering them with sauce, adding some chili if people asked for it.
She didn't have time to rest anymore.
She didn't have time to think anymore.
She didn't have time to wait anymore.
Well – in theory.
Truth to be told, in spite of her work, even if she had to hurry up all day long to satisfy her new customers, her mind couldn't stop to think about him.
She couldn't help but wait for him.
She left, but still, she lingered.
She tried to behave like a workaholic but her mind refused to leave him. She didn't even see the reporter speaking in front of her stand nor the smartphones filming her on Livestream. She burned bridges to the outside world so she didn't see the video which was diffused on the web.
Unaware of what was happening elsewhere, she tirelessly continued to cook her eight treasures squids.
One day, however, a shadow, bigger than others, stood in front of her. Looking up to ask him what was his order, time stopped around her, every move stopped, every voice faded.
There were only two dark eyes intensely staring at her, framed by black hair without gel.
"Daoming Si..."
Deep within her, she had waited for him.
Deep within her, she hoped he would come.
However, she couldn't help but be surprised he came.
A bubble of happiness exploded in her chest and she wanted to hug him tightly. But she restrained herself. The way he stared at her, that absence of smile on his lips, reminded her what she had done and what she dared to tell him.
She left.
But still, he was here.
***
They both stood on the beach, observing the sun which slowly began to set on the horizon, darkening the sky and coloring the sea with thousands of colors.
Yet Shancai didn't manage to admire the beauty of this view.
She didn't see anything.
All her mind was concentrated on the man who stood on her side and still, she didn't dare to look up at him. Her heart was beating so loudly she thought he was echoing in her head and she heard only that sound.
She wanted to tell him so many things but she wasn't able to pronounce a word.
"So, it was there you were hiding." He suddenly said.
She shivered. The coldness of his tone was freezing her and her heart was painfully tightening. She gulped and silently nodded, still staring at the horizon. She felt Daoming Si's eyes on her, surveying her, burning her, and she deeply wanted to yell. But she restrained herself.
"I was worried." He whispered.
That voice – that kindness – being able to hear it again brought her on the verge of tears. But she didn't dare to turn toward him.
She was torn between so many wishes.
She wanted to hug him, to admit her feelings to him, to hold him back and never let him go.
Or she wanted to be strong, to stay away from him, to fulfill her promise to Daoming Feng for her friends' sake.
But you'll always wait for him, you'll linger and you know it.
Daoming Si seemed to misunderstand her silence. "I can see I worried for nothing. You seem to be more than alright." He blurted out; his voice cold again.
She closed her eyes, slightly shivering, then turned toward him and forced out a smile. "Yes, I'm alright! The sea air is refreshing and I missed my parents very much! I'm very happy to be with them and I even think I'm going to stay a little m..."
Her voice faded when she saw Daoming Si's look darkening. She obviously didn't say the good words.
Of course, she didn't say the good words!
She didn't say what she really felt for him! She didn't say what he surely dreamed to hear from her, she...
"You can't help to behave like that, can you?" Snapped Daoming Si, his voice echoing in the huge space of the desert beach. "You'll never tell me what you really think, you'll continue to avoid serious talks, won't you?"
She felt a lump in her throat and she was unable to answer, looking down, powerless. She was unable to reject him now while her mind told her to do it. She couldn't tell him what she felt nor she could do what she wanted – and that tore her heart.
She heard Daoming Si sighing then let out a disillusioned laugh. "I thought – I believed that..." He began but didn't finish his sentence, shaking his head with a bittersweet laugh, hiding his eyes with one hand as he was preventing his tears to fall. Once again, Shancai had the feeling she was tortured because she couldn't bear to see the man she loved being so hurt and, even more, she couldn't stand to know she was the one who was hurting him. "But I was wrong." He added. "You never felt anything for me, don't you? Otherwise, you would never have done that, uh?"
She felt tears rolling down alongside her cheeks, unable to repress them. "Daoming Si –" She started to say.
He raised a hand to silence her. "Save your words and your tears, they'll be useless today. I'm tired of that!" He told her.
She clenched her fist, desperate and yelled: "I couldn't let your mother harm my friends!"
He darkly glared at her. "Stop with that excuse!" He yelled back. "If you told me about that, if you truly considered us as a couple, we could have found a solution together! But, once again, you wanted to take all the burdens yourself!" He stopped, his chest heavily rising, his breath becoming painful, panting. "Did you think even for one minute about my feelings?"
She repressed a sob and he shook his head again, disillusioned. He was about to turn back, to leave but, with an impulse, she called him. "Daoming Si!"
He stopped, turned once again toward her. She thought she had detected a glint of hope in his eyes but, the day was falling so she wasn't sure of that.
What was she going to do, now?
What would she say to him?
Why did she hold him back?
What a stupid girl I am!
She slipped a hand in her pocket and felt the cold metal of the necklace against her fingers. Then she had the idea to take it out from her pocket and she showed him. "I have to give you back that gift." She said with an unusually hoarse voice.
She didn't understand why she did that. To be separated from the necklace meant to be separated definitely from him and she didn't want that.
Maybe I need that to mourn him. She reasoned herself once again.
With a pale face, Daoming Si took slowly the necklace and observed it for a long time. Then, suddenly, his eyes darkened with anger and in fury and desperate move, he threw the necklace into the sea.
Powerless, petrified, Shancai saw the jewel disappearing in the waves. She had the feeling that someone was extracting a part of her, that someone forced her to be separated from something precious for her.
She lost her necklace.
She lost Daoming Si.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him going away. Her knees shook so hard she thought she was about to collapse on the ground.
Then any logical thought disappeared.
She rushed into the sea.
At the place where she saw the necklace disappearing, she began to crawl. She rummaged without seeing anything, seeing nothing in the dark water because the sun was ready to fall for the night. Waves went above her head, making her choke with seawater, but she stood up again, coughing, spitting out the water and continued tirelessly to search.
She felt her cheek getting wet. It was surely the seawater, or maybe her tears, their salted taste being confounded. She shivered, surely because she was cold, but she realized that her whole body was shaken because of uncontrollable sobs.
She didn't manage to find her necklace.
It's lost.
That only thought almost drove her crazy and she continued to search into the sea like she was possessed.
"Shancai!!!" Screamed a voice away.
She ignored him, continuing to desperately rummage the water, waves going on slaughtering her, making her lose her balance, choking her, but she constantly stood up and searched again and again.
A hand took suddenly her arm, pulling her away. "What are you doing, you stupid girl!!" Cried a voice close to her.
Shancai turned back, meeting Daoming Si's dark look. She couldn't control her sobs anymore. "I have to find it!! I can't let it here!" She spluttered, her voice shaking.
Daoming Si's eyes widened, shocked, then he frowned again. "You idiot! You didn't want it anymore! You gave it back to me, remember?" He yelled.
So, without bothering with her protestation, Daoming Si dragged her toward the shore. Shancai screamed, struggled, but he strengthened his grip.
Once back on the beach, Shancai collapsed on the sand, still sobbing, unable to control herself. She started to go back in the water, but Daoming Si blocked her. "Will you stop, you idiot?" He cried. "It's getting dark, you won't see anything!"
She hit his chest, trying to push him away. "Let me go!" She cried back. "I have to find it! I can't lose it!!"
He caught her arms, immobilizing her. "You stupid girl!" He said but with a softer voice. "I threw it into the sea! The stream surely took it far away already!"
That simple sentence destroyed Shancai.
What have I done? My god, what have I done?
She collapsed on the ground once again, couldn't help herself but cry, bittersweet tears flowing alongside her cheeks. Daoming Si, dumbfounded, stood there, watching her, uncertain. Then, suddenly, Shancai saw him running toward the sea again and bending down where the waves went slowly to die.
He picked up something.
A few seconds later, he took her hand and dropped something on her palm.
She observed it, motionless, stunned.
"Obviously, the sea didn't want it." Simply said Daoming Si.
The meteor shaped pendant, still wet and covered with wet sand, seemed to observe them, shining in the pinkish daylight when the sun was falling on the horizon.
Maybe the sea didn't want it or maybe the necklace didn't want to leave them.
Shancai hugged the jewel against her heart while now relieved sobs shook again her chest. Then, she felt arms embracing her and her head leaning against a warm and comforting torso, while Daoming Si's scent wrapped her up like a cocoon.
She was unable to fight and to run away. It was impossible.
"Daoming Si..." she whispered.
He stroked her hair, wiping the tears on her cheeks. "Stupid girl." He murmured. "Wouldn't it be simpler if you confessed your true feelings instead of hurting everybody, you the first?"
"But – my friends, they..." She tried to protest.
"And you? How many times are you going to sacrifice yourself? Do you think that's what they want?" He answered.
She didn't know what she could answer.
The only thing she knew was she was unable to leave again, to pull herself from his arms, his scent.
If she left, she'll always wait for him, she'll linger.
And maybe one day, he wouldn't come back.
And she couldn't bear that mere idea.
"Daoming Si." She said. "I lied." He stopped his moves, holding his breath. "Daoming Si." She continued. "I never saw you like a huge fortune heir, I always consider you as you, the person you are and you and only you are the one I..." She stopped, swallowing nervously. "I fell in love with only you." She felt his arms tightening around her waist while a sigh of relief and happiness escaped from the young man's lips. "I love you Daoming Si, I love you with all my heart."
She felt his lips against her hair, her cheek. He took her chin and turned her toward him, happy tears rolling alongside his cheeks. "Dong Shancai." He whispered.
She didn't wait any longer and kissed him with all her love and all her passion. He kissed her back immediately with equal fervor. They pressed against each other, refusing to be separated once again, not even for a second.
Shancai made the promise to herself to never lie to herself anymore. She would listen to her heart, would refuse to leave and even less to wait and linger.
Fin.