My eye lids felt glued together after an exhausting sleep. I forced them open as I slowly shifted my body to my back. The white ceiling of my bedroom looked comfortably familiar. I sat up in my bed and spotted a small television set up on the wall directly across from the bed.
That's not my TV.
This is not my room.
"Oh shit."
My eyes instantly fell to the other end of the bed. Bizzle was laying on his stomach, the blanket covering just enough cleavage.
"Oh shit."
I lifted my blanket and checked my undergarments. Gone.
"Oh shit!"
I maneuvered with the blanket to keep myself covered. My clothes were tossed all over the floor, only my t-shirt was visible from this side of the bed.
"Shit. shit. shit. shit!" I cried.
I was then pulled back by a sudden grip. My head fell onto his chest, his chin rested near my cheek. "If you have to take a shit that bad, the bathroom is right over there" He joked in his-extremely tempting- morning voice. I pushed myself off him, keeping the blankets over me.
My palm made contact with my face, "Oh my god. This is insane. I shouldn't be here right now" I shook my head and jumped off the mattress.
"Why not?" Bizzle sat up rubbing his eyes.
I picked up my shirt from the floor and used it to cover my body before I screamed, "Don't look!" at Bizzle's latching eyes. He turned away, his hands up in surrender.
"We just slept together and you're worried about me seeing you naked?" He chuckled. I tossed my t-shirt, that thankfully ran right over my butt, over my head as quickly as I could. Then I crawled around the floor, gathering my scattered clothing.
God how could I be so stupid! How many of his desperate undressed girls have I seen since I moved on to campus. Now I'm one of them.
Bizzle uncovered his eyes and looked back at me, "Wait, where are you going?" He asked rather surprised.
I glared at him, eyebrows up. "Back to my dorm. As far away from you as possible" I made my way to the door, but Bizzle wasn't letting me go that easy.
"Really? The walk of shame?" He shook his head standing up in front of me with nothing but his, low-cut, boxers on. In case you didn't know, the walk of shame refers to an instance of walking back home on the day after an unplanned, meaningless sexual encounter, typically dressed in the same clothes as the previous evening.
"Why do you sound surprised?" I furrowed my brows in at him, "Don't you have another appointment coming up this morning?"
Bizzle looked at the clock, "Actually not until a couple hours. We can run a quick round two if you'd like"
"Ew!" I scuffed loudly rolling my eyes. I pushed past him, full of immediate anger as I reached the door.
I reached for the door knob, but of course Bizzle was there to snatch my hand away, "I'm joking, that was a joke" he decided.
"Get out of my way." I attempted to push through him but it wasn't even worth the effort. He stood there solid. "Can you stop being such a prick! You got what you wanted okay! You got into my pants! You've proved once again that you can get any girl you point your finger at. Can't you just let me leave with the slightest bit of dignity I have left!" I growled trying not to raise my voice too high.
"What-" He began, but my anger had filled my mouth to the rim. I was speaking like a machine.
"This is how your routine always goes! Okay, Bizzle sees girl, Bizzle smirks at girl, Bizzle wants girl, Bizzle gets girl into his bed. We've finished all the steps. I'm in your room, I was in your bed last night, now just get out of the way!" I pushed at his chest, trying to get him out of the way.
Bizzle simply looked down at me. He shook his head and watched me struggle to move him from the door frame. When I finally gave up, I took a step back, crossed my arms, and rolled my eyes every time he took a breath.
"I've actually never had a girl in my bed before" He tells me.
I laugh almost hysterically, "You should consider being a comedian at the bar you spent all last month at." He didn't say anything. He just glared at me, taking a soothing breath. He hadn't spoken yet, so I continued,"The first time I met you you had a girl, who's name you couldn't even remember, draped around you like a curtain. Since then I've seen you with just about every other girl on campus. So excuse me if I don't buy your 'Ive actually never slept with a girl before' novel."
Bizzle chuckled down at the floor, "Actually, the first time we met I was holding a paint gun but not the point." I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to speak further. "I didn't say that I've never had sex before. I've just never brought a girl into my bed. It's always either at some random bar bathroom, or at her place, and when I do bring her back here, it's always on that couch-out there in the den. I've never slept with a girl on my bed-" He tossed his thumb over his shoulder, pointing toward the door. "Until last night" he added.
Is that why Joey told me now to sit on that couch? Ew. It's his nuisances couch. Nice. "Oh, how romantic" I tossed my eyes back once more.
"My point is, this time wasn't like the others. It was different. A good different. It wasn't like sex, it was more like . . . making love." He paused. "I haven't slept with anyone else since the night you said you didn't want me, last month. And it wasn't because I planned on changing my ways for you, it was because I didn't want anyone but you." He explained. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You slept with me just as much as I slept with you. It's a tag team effort. I understand if you're upset or don't trust me, believe me, I get that."
I had my doubts, don't we all? I honestly thought that once he got in my pants, his task would've been completed and that would've been the end. Granted, I was partially okay with that. I slept with him anyway didn't I?
"If you'd like, you can march out of here in the same clothes as last night; your shoes in your hands, your hair all a mess, and oh, say hey to Joey for me on your way out." He tilted his head at my dull expression. "Or, you can take a shower in my bathroom and I'll walk you out once Joeys gone" Bizzle laid out my options.
It's not that I was hiding from Joey, I just wasn't exactly sure how to tell him about this whole situation. So I picked the obvious option for that morning. I knew I couldn't hide from the truth forever. Joey was my best friend. He'd been my best friend since my freshman year. There hasn't been anything, not one topic, that I've ever been afraid to bring up around him. To seek advice from him, after all he was a pretty wise boy. I simply could not do this much longer. He was going to find out in no time, and if he found out on his own, hell would most likely freeze over.
* * *
A week or two shriveled by since our first night together. Bizzle had done a surprisingly good job on keeping himself preserved. Of course, girls still flung themselves at him, but it was nothing he could control. He'd brush them off, ignoring all the pointed fingers and hounding eyes we received all over campus. Apparently, girls were like roller-coasters to Bizzle, he'd never rode the same one twice. So when people saw him with me constantly, they were utterly confused. I wouldn't say we were together at that point. It was almost like that non-exclusive dating bullshit, and for some odd reason I was mildly okay with that. It was late nights, loud laughs, and intense flirting at times. Again, I was okay with just that. I just wanted to be around him.
Joey had returned home the same night I spent in Bizzle's bed. Since then, I've spent a lot of time in their dorm room. We had dinner several times together, we played lame board games and watched scary movies. It was subtle and relaxing, but nonetheless, completely innocent. I spent the night a couple days, but again completely innocent. We would just scoot up against one another and fell asleep. I attended a couple of Bizzle's fight nights between my work and school schedule. Some were more crowded and hyped up than others, depending on the opponents status. Bizzle stacked up plenty of cash in those nights, continuing his reign as champion. I found myself becoming more intrigued with every match. I also found myself becoming more worried after every punch thrown.
It was late one evening when I'd been thinking about having to be apart from him for a couple weeks as Christmas break rounded up. I'd spent the entire day studying for finals and so Bizzle decided we should at least spend the night with one another. I was taking a warm shower before we headed out for a late lunch and then returned to bed.
"So . . ." I stepped out of his steaming bathroom, fully dressed. My hair was squeezed out and left on my shoulder to dry. "Christmas is in a few days here, what've you got planned?" I casually asked out of curiosity. He'd never mentioned anything about family or family friends. That made me wonder.
Bizzle lay on the bed. Staring blankly at the ceiling. "My family doesn't really celebrate Christmas" He decided as he sat up. He reached into his bed-side drawer and handed me a hair brush.
I thanked him, using the small mirror in the room to brush my hair out. "Well, aren't you gonna visit them though? I'm sure they miss you tons" I asked pulling through the tangles in my hair.
I felt his gaze from my right-side view. He sat on the end of the bed, just watching me. When I turned to him, he finally answered, "I'd beg to differ. I haven't talked to my parents in years" He admitted.
I put the brush down his dresser and joined him sitting bed side. "This is the perfect time of the year to start fresh" I suggested. He shook his head. Frowning at the floor and not saying anything more. I watched the glisten in his eyes lock on the ground for several moments. I placed my hand on his shoulder, he looked thoughtful. As soon as my hand reached his shoulder, he jumped out of his seat with a flinch.
We both watched each other for a moment. He wiped his face with his hand, "Plenty of people loose touch with their families, things happen, people evolve and move on with their life. My family's just not around, okay? End of discussion." He marched over to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
That went well, right? Didn't think so.
While Bizzle was in the shower, a couple ideas of my own popped up. I wasn't sure how this would all play out once it happened but I was even more concerned about Bizzle's immediate response. Sometimes he was really hard to read. I could never detect exactly when he was going to burst into fuming flames, like he just did.
Bizzle got out of the shower and dressed himself. I waited out in the den, not on that couch though. Ew. He came out after only a couple minutes later,
"Hey, uh, something came up. Think you can order in a pizza while I'm out?" He asked, his mood had ceased over.
I nodded my head quickly, "Yeah that's fine. Look um, can I ask you something?" I fiddled with my fingers.
Bizzle sat on the chair in the kitchen, tying the laces on his shoes, "Depends. What's up?" He took a quick glance at me and then focused back on his shoe.
I scratched my head, feeling a little nervous. I didn't wanna sound pushy or annoying or clingy. What I was about to ask wasn't in my favor anymore for myself than it was for him.
"Would you, uh, mind." Wait no that's not how I want to start it. "I mean, I know you're planning on staying on campus for break-" Damn. His eyes. Gather yourself Mila. "Would you maybe wanna come to my place for Christmas break? I know it sounds a little fast or sudden, but I just thought . . . so you didn't have to spend it here, alone." I bit my lip. He sat on the chair and just looked at me. His expression was unreadable.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "I mean I've met your dad before and the things he had to say to me weren't exactly in the, "Come over for dinner sometime" direction." He chuckled, "I don't wanna cause any unnecessary drama"
Now, I'm usually no mind reader. In fact, I'm normally the worst at figuring out what someone is feeling. People always say, "It's all in the eyes," but I just never see it. I just see eyeballs. But this time? Oh, this time. I have his expression pinned in my memory, as if it has been hanging on the wall in my room since I was born. He wanted me to push for his invitation. He wanted me to insure him that he would be welcome, even though he knew might not be. Lack of family hurts everyone, no matter who they are.
I nodded my head, "You've gotta meet them sooner or later," I shrugged. He turned into a smile and nodded his head. "And what better time then Christmas."
Bizzle nodded his head, "Okay, sounds like a plan" He finished the laces of his shoes. "What day you leavin' ?" He then asked.
"As soon as we do a little soul searching" I smiled. Bizzle furrowed his brows in at me. "You know how you've been teaching me all this 'rules are meant to be broken' nonsense?" I asked.
Bizzle nodded his head, "You mean teaching you to behave like a normal teen your age? Yeah. What of it?" He smiled cheekily.
I pierced my lips, "It's my turn to teach you to behave" I matched his grin-though he probably looked much hotter.
I turned the heat in the den up to high. I'd put the leftover pizza on the oven, in case Bizzle wanted some whenever he returned. He was off on some mystery call that he had mentioned earlier. Christmas rounding the corner had made teachers much more lenient with their work. My final exams for this semester were almost completed and rather similar to the study notes given to us by each instructor, thank god. Vicky and Travis were fortunate enough to have their exams finished before me. They had taken off to Vicky's home town, somewhere in upper Georgia.
I had decided to do a little online shopping a couple days ago. I figured a nice clean outfit would impress my parents before they began their reign of unwanted terror on Bizzle. I also picked myself out a rosy red dress. It was simple and elegant enough for a Christmas dinner. I thought a suit might've been a bit pushing it with Bizzle, so I settled by ordering a neat polo with black jeans for him.
Joey called in that night. He explained to me that his family was taking a round trip to Disney World and though he would love to spend that time with them, they're vacation extended through the start of our new semester. So he'd decided to stay home. Of course there was no doubt he'd be having Christmas dinner with my family . . . plus Bizzle, but he didn't know that yet. My mom called in at around 10 that same night. I had mentioned a few days prior, that I was kinda seeing someone. So when I asked if I could bring him over for dinner, my mom was ecstatic.
"Who is he?"
"What's his name?"
"Who are his parents?"
"Siblings?"
"How does he look?"
"What's his future career goals?"
"How'd you guys meet?"
And so on and so on. Her questions went on for almost a minute straight, without taking a breath for me to even answer one. I promised her all the questions would be answered when we arrived.
I sat on the beanie chair talking on the phone with them. Once the clock hit 11, I was starting to get a little worried about where Bizzle had gone off too. Once the clock hit around midnight, I was sleeping soundly on that beanie bag in the den.
I woke up from the sound of the door unlocking. I happen to be a very light sleeper. My eyes peeked open and I saw a semi-tall boy drag himself into the room quietly.
"Bizzle?" I said half asleep, forcing myself up. He walked over to me and dropped himself on the large beanie chair that I lay on. I closed my eyes softly. I was exhausted. And Bizzle was too for that matter. We cuddled up against me, I felt his body shift as he kicked off his shoes while he remained laying down. Then he slid off his jacket with much rustle. He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arm around me. Somehow, we fell asleep-just like that- for the night.
I woke up the next morning, before Bizzle. I woke up to him, sleeping right beside me, and gosh did that feel great. I sat up, my back aching a bit from the chair we decided to spend the night on. Bizzle woke up just a few minutes after me. He turned his body, facing toward me, and smiled up as he remained laying down.
I however was not smiling back. "Oh my god! What the hell? What happened to your face?" I hollered rather loudly. Bizzle jumped up from his mellowness and slapped his hand to his face.
The right side of his temple, near his eye, was all purple. The majority of his eye was bruised around the edges. Only a few cuts and scrapes circling them.
"Oh. That was just from my match the other night. It took a while to swell up and appear but yeah it's been throbbing for the past couple days. It's no big deal." Bizzle explained and then hopped from the chair. He walked across the dorm to his bedroom. I followed him in there as he headed to the bathroom.
"Are you sure? That doesn't look like a couple days old." I slowly pressed my fingers against his wound. He flinched and swung his hand out at my own.
"It is. Quit being so strung out. It's fine. I'll ice it before we leave tonight, okay?" He kissed me forehead. I crossed my arms, nodding anyway. I stepped back out of the bathroom and he shut the door after me. Those bruises didn't look old, they looked fresh. His opponent the last match didn't even get one swing on him. It was a total knock out. I thought about asking him once more, but I concluded to just drop it. I worried about him though. Especially when he makes up stories that don't add up.
Christmas Day was Thursday. We always did Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and gifts the next morning. Bizzle and I planned to departure for Virginia late tonight, so we'd arrive on the day of Christmas Eve. We were suppose to arrive in Vienna super early that morning, but the plane was delayed and by the time it finally took off it was already early morning. On the bright side, the plane ride was only about two and a half hours.
Halfway through the flight I fell into a light sleep. I woke up silently from a bit of the bumpy turbulence, about an hour later. The seats were dreadfully uncomfortable and packed tightly together. I had gotten the window seat and Bizzle took the aisle seat. I turned my head almost motionless to glance at Bizzle. My eyes were still half shut as I watched him.
He sat up straight, holding a couple index cards in his hands. He mumbled a couple times, reading them over and then shaking his head. I watched quietly, unknowingly to him.
"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Saxon, I'm Mr. Bieber" He paused then corrected himself. "I'm Bizzle. Bizzle Bieber. I'm-Thank you for having me for dinner. I mean not having me, like a meal-" He sighed, "Thank you for the invite. Invitation?"
I smiled gently, trying not to laugh aloud. "What're you doing?" I finally asked after I'd watched him struggle enough. Apparently he was extremely nervous. His note cards flung through the air and to the floor as soon as I spoke up. He closed his eyes tightly and tossed his head back against the chairs head board. He sighed contently.
I sat myself up and couldn't help but giggle. I stretched my arms outward after they'd been crushed at my side during my long nap, "There's no reason for you to be nervous" I yawned, pulling my chair to the upright position.
Bizzle slung his head back forward, his eyes shifted in my direction. "Actually there is," He stretched his foot outward attempting to pull the dropped cards in, "I'm positive your dad already hates me and your mom? Well, if I don't make a good first impression it's gonna be a bit awkward when I thank her for creating you" He gave me a mesmerizing smirk before he reeled the index cards in from the ground, using his foot, and back into his hands by the time he finished speaking.
"Cute." I complimented his words. He nodded in agreement.
The flight attendants helped us with our bags once the plane had landed. It was horrifically crowded in the small plane aisle ways. People were pulling down their luggage's from the top compartment and others were pushing their way out. We did make it out alive though. Once we did, I bought a cherry pie from the fresh bakery right near the port. Every year my mom cooked dinner and I picked up a cherry pie. I'm actually pretty good at baking, but when it comes to pies? It's like a lose my Betty Crocker touch.
My dad had a driver sent for us. We could've just taken a cab, really, but my father didn't really like the cab systems in Vienna. Several bizarre incidents had occurred featuring those cabs and those series of events had steered away any potential city resident cab riders. Only tourists took them nowadays.
Bizzle and I climbed into the SUV that was arranged to take us straight to my house. I glanced at Bizzle constantly during the drive. He stared out the window in silence. I placed my hand on his thigh, rubbing it to keep his mind on me and not on his stressful thoughts.
"You're overthinking. Just be yourself" I smiled warmly. He shifted his attention slowly toward me, glancing down at me without saying a word. He did that staring thing that he does. The glare that he gives when he's analyzing things too much. I could tell by now that he thought about every move he made, even if he acted like a carefree wild-child all the time.
When we pulled up on the double driveway to my house, the driver opened my door. I climbed out then looked back into the car, where Bizzle sat. He didn't move at all. He glared at the house through the window. Swallowing harshly, "T-This is your house?" He asked his lips barely parting to squeeze the words out. Not gonna lie, just the outside my house screamed snotty-rich-peoples-house-beware. Wait till he got a look at the inside.
The SUV dispersed off the driveway. Bizzle walked cautiously towards the doors, along my side. "I don't think I can do this Mila" He gave an expression I've never seen on him before. It was almost like fear, but not quite. Like the redo of his expressions, it was horribly attractive.
"There's no reason for you to be nervous. Whatsoever. If I had to give my family one trait to describe them in a nutshell, it would be hospitality. They may seem a little rigid at first, but they'll smooth off. I promise." I looked up at him as I spoke. He kept his eyes locked on the house, then swallowed contently before nodding down at me. With the pie in one hand, I used my other hand to intertwine itself with Bizzle's, but he pulled away as soon as our skin touched. His chin fell, locking his eyes on me. "Is there something else bothering you?" I asked beginning to debate why he was acting so timid.
Bizzle ran his hand through his hair, "No" He simply implied. He stood many inches taller than me, shaking his head. He blinked several quick times and then he reached to the door and knocked.
The door flung open fast enough to crack the hinges right off of it. My mother stood in the doorway, instantly jumping on me. Under my moms death-grip-hug, I handed the pie to Bizzle so she wouldn't squish it with her physical love. When she finally released me I took an exaggerated breath.
"Welcome home sweetie!" She's on the verge of tears now. Dad walks up to the open door, he stands behind mom. "Oh and of course our guest, Mila's boyfriend!" Mom cheers. Dad throws daggers directly at Bizzle.
"He's not my b-" I try to ease that word, boyfriend, but my mom cuts me off and continues in her joyfulness.
"What's your name sweetie?" My mom asks excitedly. I actually didn't picture mom to be this happy once she actually saw him.
Bizzle seems a little taken back by all the quick controversy, plus the fact that the look my dad is giving him, is probably about to make him pee his pants. "I'm uh-I'm-Bizzle. Bieber." His sentence is choppy and unsure.
My dad nods, finally speaking, "Ah, you don't have a paint ball gun with you son, now do you?" He asks sharply. His look told that he recognized Bizzle the moment we walked up.
Bizzle shakes his head to the ground, "No, sir"
I look at my dad, with a pleading face to not make this more difficult then it needs to be. Finally, my dad takes a step back and puts his hand out, "Come on in" he invites. Half my nerves fly over my head. The other half of them are waiting till Joey arrives. Bizzle glances at me questionably. I nod in his direction, and he takes a step into the house as I follow in his tracks.
In the kitchen, I place the pie in the oven so it can slowly bake while we eat dinner. My mom has already finished pretty much everything that's on the menu tonight including; Baked chicken, mash potatoes, corn, biscuits, mixed vegetables, salad and some weird cheesy appetizers? The table setting have yet to be placed, so I work on that while Bizzle chats with my mom a bit in the kitchen. They seem to got off on the right foot, but I've been more worried about my dad's attitude toward him. Especially since I know Bizzle's quick temper won't stop in the lanes of my father. They're both like two firecrackers waiting to be lit.
As I finish the final setting on the table, Joey knocks and then invites himself in. "Wow!" He immediately gestures as he takes in the aroma lingering from the kitchen.
"Hello to you to" I laugh. He walks up to my and gives me a tight hug. Asking all the simple questions about how I've been and how's school and so on. Once are greetings are over, I snap back into reality. "I've gotta tell you something Jo-"
"Yeah, yeah sure, no problem! Right after I get a good whiff of that amazing dinner" He laughs then jets toward the kitchen.
"Wait Joey wait!" I pull his arm but he shakes me off. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Why does nothing ever go my way!
I follow Joey into the kitchen, "Mrs. Saxon that smells-" that's where he freezes dead in his tracks. I stand behind Joey. Bizzle's looks at him, then back at me, realizing that I had failed to mention Bizzle's presence to Joey.
My moms brows furrow in, "Hi Joey?" She's stirring up the last of the steamed veggies.
Joey shakes his head, "Im sorry, for a second I thought I was hallucinating that a total douche-dick was-" He grits through his teeth and turns to me.
"Joey!" I interrupt, "Let me refresh your memory on where the bathroom is!" I grab his arm and pull him as roughly as I can. My mom's confused, so she just ignores it, shaking her head. Bizzle's laughing as he sits on the chair in the kitchen.
I lead Joey all the way upstairs into the hallway before I begin. Well, I attempt to begin, but of course he shoots up and begins my beginning. "Why in the hell is he here?! Are you outta your fucking mind!"
I put my hands up and gesture him to lower his voice. "Look, I know, I know. I should've told you, but I knew how you felt about him so-"
"So you decided to surprise me by bringing him home for the holidays?!" Joey intrudes with his loud tone once more.
"It's not like that! It was more like a sympathetic invite" I shrug. Joey cocks an eyebrow waiting for me to finish. "I was talking to him and I don't know, it's this time of year so I decided to bring up Christmas. I asked him what his plans were and he was so dry about it. His family's not even around, he was gonna stay on campus alone during break! So I just figured, how bad could it hurt to have him over," I explained in a partial lie. Okay, it was defiantly a lot more than a sympathetic invite, but one confession at a time.
"Let's take a second and think about why his family is probably not around." Joey looks up, pretending to think about it. "Oh that's right, he's a fucking lunatic"
"Joey quit it!" I snap pushing his shoulder back. "Stop talking like that. All I'm asking is that you stay civilized for the sake of Christmas. Please."
Joeys hand meets his forehead, "Stop talking like what? Ugh, Mila. You can't trust him, don't you get that? You know nothing about this kid, and yet you're acting so open with him."
Bizzle walks up behind us, just as Joey finishes his thought. He tilts his head at Joey, giving him a grin, "Nice to see you too bud" He does it on purpose. Just to tick Joey off. I still have yet to figure out what went down between these two. Vicky said they used to be like best friends. Bizzle turns his attention to me afterward, "Can you show me to a room, where I can change?" He asks holding up his small duffle bag.
"What do you need to change for? Aren't you sticking with your bang gang look, like you always do?" Joey hissed. Bizzle smiles stepping forward.
Before anyone can comment again, I jump between them. "Both of you better be on your best behavior." I turn to Joey, who's expression is dripping with irritation. "I'll talk to you in a second. Go get changed."
I show Bizzle the other guest room room where he'll be staying. He pulls out the outfit that I picked out for him and begins to freshen up.
"So I'm guessing you didn't tell Joey what's going on between us?"
I shake my head hesitantly, "I'm not even sure what's going on between us." I pause, then continue, "But I'll talk to him on easing the feud down a bit." Bizzle nods and I head for the door, then I turn to face him while I'm standing in the doorway. "What happened between you and Joey that I don't know about?"
Bizzle looks up at me, he smirks, then shakes his head as he walks up to the door frame in front of me. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Virginia" And with that he closes the door slowly in my face.
I dress myself in the red dress I purchased just a couple days ago. It's longer on one end and splits halfway down my thigh. It wasn't over the top, I think it fit the occasion pretty well. I blow dry my hair and let the ends fall into curls. And if I do say so myself, it looks pretty damn good.
Once I'm done, I march over to Joey's room, passing Bizzle's (still closed) door. I cut right to the chase when I enter Joey's room, "We gotta talk," I close the door behind me after entering his room. Joey turns to me, tightening his tie for the final touch on his button up tucked into dress pants. I glare his repulsive tie, ew. "But first, let me get you out of that tie" I gag.
Joey laughs and then loosens his tie, "Well, talk and help" He says showing me his options lying on the bed side.
I instantly pick out the best matching tie to go with his silky beige button up. I hold it up to his chest and tilt my head, examining the look as a whole. "Okay. Well, I have something to tell you and I'm not exactly sure how you're gonna feel about it, but I feel the need to tell you before I tell anyone else because you're my best friend." I babble on while wrapping the tie over his head and pulling it into a knot.
"What could be worse then you inviting Bizzle over for Christmas break" He chuckles sarcastically. I take a step back from him after his tie is completely fastened and straightened. I don't say anything. I give him a guilty look and he reads me like the front cover of a book. "You . . you like him, don't you?" He asks in an almost despair tone.
I open my mouth, I try to speak, I try to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. I nod my head slowly. I didn't mean to tell him those words, but I guess that's what was meant to be said. "God! Mila!?" He groans throwing his head backward.
"Don't, God Mila, me" I mock the way he groans my name, "You're the one, back during my freshman year, you were head over heels for that chick who was a total bitch to you all the time! And you were the one that told me that we can't help who we fall in love with."
"In love with?! You-you're in love with him? You're-Ha." Joey throws his hands up and chuckles in disbelief, "You're in love with- someone you know nothing about. Are you fricken kidding me?! Mila, you're not in love with him."
I don't know why I said it like that. I actually don't think that I am in love with him, but the way Joey was reacting didn't make much of a difference. No matter what it was that may or may not be going on between Bizzle and I, Joey wasn't having it.
"You're overreacting! I've spent time with him Joe! He's been the one around me during the entire last semester, since you left. I don't understand, why you're acting like I've murdered someone!" I'm actually hollering back now.
Joey doesn't answer. He glares at me and then sighs, running his hand through his hair as he tries to keep himself from blowing up. "Mila," he slowly begins, "You're my best friend. I don't want to see you get hurt. He's not who you think he is. I'm not saying these things as the voice of an over protective father. It's specifically him, Bizzle. Mila, I know him, I know him better than he knows himself and believe me when I tell you that he's not stable. He's unpredictable, he's moody and he's not 100% there. He's still one of my closest friends, I care about him a lot, I really do. I keep my distance for those reasons, there's so much you don't know. So much I haven't told you because I'm trying to protect you. I knew you liked him from the minute you met him, but that scared me. There's too much you don't know."
I stare at the ground, full of frustration, "Everyone keeps telling me there's so much I don't know. Well, tell me! Tell me what I don't know!"
Joey shakes his head, "Mila, have you ever even thought about the fact that he stays on a college campus but hasn't been attending classes for over a year now?"
I swallow slowly, "I thought maybe he was just taking a break. Or not sure what he wanted to do in the future." I shrugged.
"Mila." Joey stated firmly. He knew what was in the tip of my tongue.
"Okay, I heard a few times around that he'd been arrested but that's not true, right?" I ask shakily.
Joey nods his head. He knows how much I can handle more than I do. "Mila he was arrested for attempted murder. He spent the last year in Juvi and he was no saint before that. He's not just a jockey douche, he's bad news."
Maybe Joey was right. Maybe I was so infatuated with Bizzle that I didn't think into this enough. I'd heard the rumors, several different ones. Every time I hung around Bizzle, random people would approach me and ask a hundred times if I knew about things that he did. I never believed the majority of them, some of them seemed absurd. I was being reckless with all my decisions. What on earth have I been thinking these last few weeks. I needed to kill this before it starts.
Someone knocks on Joey's bedroom door. It's mom. She announces dinner is ready and I tell her we'll be down in a second.
Bizzle's sitting on the chair across from my father. He's dressed in the neat black polo I ordered for him with his own black skinny jeans and grey high-top shoes. He looks extremely uncomfortable. His hands are tucked under his thighs, his lips folded tightly.
I help my mom bring out all the trays of foods. Once it's all set up, I sit down in the empty chair between Joey and Bizzle. We each pick up a plate and pass it around the table, pouring a variety of dishes into our plates.
Bizzle is almost shaking as he scoops food into his plate. I'm not sure why he's so nervous, but he's starting to actually worry me. "Are you okay?" I whisper to him. He looks at me and smiles contently, nodding his head.
"I'm fine" He whispers back. He wasn't though. And I could tell because that's the line almost everyone uses when they're exactly the opposite of fine. There was no way in hell he was this strung up over dinner with my parents, something else was wrong.
My younger brother Alan finally comes down from his room for dinner. He hops in a seat on the edge of the table and begins putting food.
"Nice of you to join us." My mother scolds his lack of family time.
With his mouth full, Alan nods, "Who's the punk?" He asks referring to Bizzle. Bizzle smirks, watching Alan closely. There's nothing that flies over Bizzle's head. He examines everything and everyone with that same look.
"Manners, Alan" I roll my eyes, "This is my friend, Bizzle"
Alan chuckles, taking a big bite of his biscuit, "You're the dude that's fucking my sister?"
"ALAN!" My mom yells. My dad shakes his head, already use to Alan's lack of respect for anyone. If I had to compare Alan to anyone, it would probably be Bizzle. He's like a miny, less delinquent, version of him.
"Sorry" Alan shrugs, "Oh! Sweet tatts bro" Alan adds after examining Bizzle's arm fully.
"I'll take you to get a few once you're old enough" Bizzle chuckles, eating from his plate. At least someone in my family likes Bizzle.
It gets quiet for a few moments as we're all eating. Once in a while, someone will say something, in attempt to stir up a conversation, but it usually does rather quickly. Each time Bizzle speaks, Joey huffs and I kick his shin.
"So, Bieber, that's German right?" Dad asks nonchalantly.
Bizzle nods, "Yeah" before he takes a quite bite of his food.
"And Bizzle? What kinda name is that? Hoodlum?" My dad remarks.
"Dad." I warn. He only shrugs in response, then awaits for Bizzle to answer.
"Um, uh, actually yeah, I guess" Bizzle smirks but then realizes my dad isn't really the joking type. "I mean, yeah it's-but my real name is J-Justin. Well, Drew, I usually go by Drew." He mutters.
Justin.
Drew.
I look over at him. Realizing I never even knew his real name. Of course it crossed my mind that his birth name couldn't have been Bizzle, but it just never occurred to me to ask what it really was. Everyone else called him that, so I just stuck with the crowd.
He glances back at me and shrugs gently.
"That's a cute name" My mom comments. All that is heard is the silver wear hitting our dishes and the slow conversation my father just created.
"Where are your parents this time of year?" Dad continues on.
Bizzle shuffles in his seat, "They're not really around much" He says in a low tone.
"Is that why you're so rebellious? Lack of parenting?" My father sips on his water.
"Dean. That's enough." My mom coldly warns.
Dad shrugs, "I'm just trying to get to know the boy. He's lucky he's even in this house after shooting my car up with paint."
"That's was you?!" Alan acknowledges and laughs patting Bizzle on the back.
"Oh relax, it was washable paint." Mom defends.
"It was?" Bizzle asks glaring as if he could've sworn it was permanent. Dad gives him a dirty look.
"Can we all just drop it." I ask becoming frustrated. Joey's laughing, he's satisfied at this point.
Everyone does as I ask. My mom turns the subject over, "So, what're you in school for?" Bizzle looks up from his plate. It occurs to me that this is another question I've never asked him, probably because he hasn't even been attending classes.
"He's working on his Associates Degree, but for now he's focused on wrestling as well" I defend. Street fighting? Wrestling? Same thing, right?
My dad nods his head but then halts when Joey let's out an exaggerated chuckle. I pinch his thigh as hard as I can and he jumps up like a kangaroo. Really, this is no time for him to rub in the whole, you know nothing about him.
"A wrestler, huh? The college pays you then?" My dad continues. Bizzle thinks about it for a moment, then nods. Joey scuffs almost silently and I glare at him once more.
"Aye Bizzle, are you returning back to classes this semester?" Joey comments as he wrestles with his chicken. Bizzle looks over at him, his brows furrow in.
"Back to classes? Did you take a semester off?" Mom asks in her innocent tone.
"Well, a year, but who's counting?" Joey adds, "Anyway man what were you up to?" He tests. I kick Joey's shin but he doesn't even care, he's got Bizzle locked in a corner and that's all he cares about now.
I swear when this dinner is over I'm gonna kill Joey and serve him with the left overs tomorrow.
"Why'd you take a year off?" My dad asks again.
Bizzle shakes his head, his lower jaw falls a bit and he shrugs his shoulders. "I-I got into some trouble, needed to get my life sorted out"
My dad nods his head, understandably. The moment cools down, but only for a second.
"Is that what they tell you in Juvie?" Joey chuckles.
"JOEY" I scream. My moms fork drops. My dad stares like an axe murderer just stepped into our house. He turns his head slowly toward Joey.
"What?! I'm just wondering if that's what the tell you Juvie is for. Straightening out your life. How's that working for you man?" Joey's testing now.
"You went to Juvie? Bruh that's awesome!" Alan comments like the idiot that he is.
"Alan" My mom scuffs. At the same time I tell him to shut up.
"Actually, Juvie doesn't really teach much, it's just detention. Straightening out my life? Someone's mom lectured me once about that" Bizzle's comment flies right over all our heads. Except for Joey's. He hops up onto his feet and slams his silver wear down.
"You wanna play the big bad wolf? At least be fucking honest with her family" Joey snaps.
"Hey! Hey sit down, Joey!" My mom tries to calm.
"What the hell is he talking about?" My dad's eyes are glued to mine and only part to throw death glares at Bizzle before they return focus on me.
"Joey sit down!" I beg.
"Come on Bizzle, tell 'em. Or better yet, at least tell your little girlfriend over here. She's way in over head. She actually thinks you're capable of acting on impulse for others and not yourself" Joey's still standing as he yells. "Come on, before daddy gets upset" Joey finishes.
Whatever he said, however he said it, something about it pushed Bizzle right over the edge. He darts past me and tackles Joey to the floor.
Moms screaming and dad runs over to break them off each other. I scream both their names but they completely block me out. They're both throwing punches and before things get too ugly, my dad halls Joey up and off.
I help Bizzle off the floor. Everyone's breathing like they just ran a marathon. I don't think any of us understand what just happened.
"I'm gonna clean up and get dessert ready" My mom tinkers with her fingers before sprinting off into the kitchen. I shake my head at Joey, giving him the most awful look is can bring upon my face.
My dad releases Joey and then glares at me, "Get him out of my house."
Alan stands by, interested, "I kinda like him" Dad grabs him by the arm and drags him out following mom to the kitchen.
I swallow contently and nod to my fathers firm orders. I look over at Bizzle. He's frozen. He's staring at the corner of a wall. His eyes don't move. His chest barely looks like he's breathing. His face goes pale. Joey wipes a drop of blood from his nose as he gazes at Bizzle. Joey and I glance at one another. Bizzle seems so focused on the wall, so intrigued.
"Bizzle?" I say stepping closer to him. He doesn't move. He's still staring at the same wall, his eyes flash with a glaze. I place my hand on his shoulder, "Justin?"
He jumps outta place and pushes me backward. His face looks like he just saw a ghost. He looks around him, trying to figure out where he is. Then he glares up at me and relief surfaces his face. His eyes reconnect with the wall he was just stuck focused on. Then without a word, he sprints out the door.
"Bizzle!?" I call after him, but Joey grabs my arm.
"Forget it" Joey says holding me back and not letting me follow.
"Fuck you!" I scream pushing him backward and then run out the front door.
Outside the wind is strong. The ground is covered with fog and it's hard to see anything at all. I sprint out only a block down from my house, that's the farthest I can go. The fog makes it a hundred times harder to spot anything moving at all. I scream his name but there's no response. It's freezing outside and I can't see anything. So I head back home, watching my surroundings Incase he shows up somewhere near.
He doesn't.
Not for the rest of the night.
Not for the rest of break.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dayum....
;)
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