Things went along quietly for quite some time after that. We all dispersed and returned to our tasks. Despite Lucifer's show that he put on after Lillith's acceptance of her mate he never really recovered his former joy about things. He completed what he had to but his creations lacked that extra bit of perfection that had always been his hallmark before. He rarely spoke to any of us and seemed to be completely avoiding me. Gabriel and I were caught up in devising creatures that could survive in a truly harsh environment that went from sub freezing temperatures to scalding and back again in a two day long cycle on a world far away from where Lillith and Adam resided. We were somewhat stumped when Gabriel decided to broach the topic of Lucifer's depression.
“Has he spoken to you yet?” Gabriel asked.
I was distracted by the task at hand and didn't understand at first, “Who?”
“Lucifer.”
“No,” I sighed, “I have been trying to give him time to come to terms with what happened but I am not sure if that's the best way to handle this anymore. He seems to be getting worse. Uriel said that when they were working together recently that Lucifer refused to speak about anything other than the task they were doing. Elohim seems to be handling things better but I sense some sort of deception there. He and Michael have become inseparable which bothers me. Seraqual mentioned to me that Elohim has become rather dismissive of he and Raguel as well.”
“Yes, Raphael mentioned that to me as well.” Gabriel replied, “Perhaps you should go to him Remiel. Raphael and I have tried to get Lucifer to confide in us but he refuses to. Raguel has made a point of trying to stay near him but Lucifer finally made it clear that he did not need to be watched over. I have checked in on Lillith and Adam...”
“You have?” I interrupted. I was surprised that he had done that. I had as well but had not mentioned it to anyone.
“Yes, they seem to be doing fine but when she is alone she tends to look up into the sky and speak his name.” He looked away from me as his aura shifted restlessly. “She misses him.”
“I know. I have seen this as well. The agreement cannot be changed though. It would just put us right back where we were.”
When his gaze fixed upon me again the amount of guilt and pain that haunted his face took me by surprise, “What's wrong brother?”
“Michael and I, we should have paid much more attention to what Elohim was thinking and how obsessed he had become. I feel as if we could have stopped this or at least made it much less divisive. We would have given him a docile creation and not pushed the boundaries like Lucifer did. Perhaps Elohim would have grown tired of trying to create something so complex. Honestly Remiel, without Lucifer's help Elohim would have struggled to complete her. Even with Michael's help Adam is not nearly as refined as Lillith. We should have humored Elohim and kept an eye on him. We...” he trailed off into silence and looked off into the distance.
“It is not entirely your fault Gabriel.” I tried to comfort him.
“Perhaps not but it feels as if it is. I rushed to condemn Lucifer for doing that which I chose to dismiss. I was condemning him with my words but in my mind I was condemning myself. Look how this has hurt them. Lucifer may never recover, who knows what Elohim is really thinking and Lillith longs for the one being she should never have been allowed to have feelings for in the first place. It will never be as it was, we will never truly be a family again.”
I saw an opportunity in Gabriel's words. As far as I knew no one had really apologized to Lucifer for attacking him in the days following Lillith's awakening. I'll be the first to admit that how he had handled the situation was lacking a large amount of tact or even concern for the rest of us, but as Gabriel pointed out, all the rest of us had failed to learn the depth of Elohim's obsession. If any of us had said yes to helping Elohim, Lillith, if she had even had been created at all, would be a much different creature and Elohim and Lucifer's immense arrogance driven personalities would not have had a direct confrontation.
“Things may never be exactly the way they were, “ I started out, “but they do not have to get worse either. Many of you were rather harsh on Lucifer. Believe me when I tell you that he regrets the discord that his actions brought.” I was hoping Gabriel would volunteer to apologize to Lucifer as Lucifer had apologized to me.
Gabriel's face hardened, “What he did was wrong Remiel.”
“No one is denying that, but he is not the only one at fault.”
I watched him struggle with it for several minutes. You have to understand, the balance, the need to keep it, it has always been paramount to all of us and Lucifer's solution to Elohim's madness went against the very core of what we are. Giving Lillith some of his divinity, he had to know deep down that it would only make things worse. When I left after our fight I had come to terms with the fact that his betrayal of the balance was truly what had driven me to attack him, not the manipulation of us all, but his willingness to push the boundaries so far without any thought to the consequences of his choices.
Gabriel's aura stilled finally, the confusion in his face cleared and he gazed at me with resolution in his eyes. “You are right. I shouldn't condemn Lucifer for being who he is, none of us should. None of us are perfect, we all bear some of the blame for the way things are now. Once we finish here I will talk to him, I just hope he listens and it helps.”
I gave him a brief smile and we resumed our task. True to his word, several days later when we had finished he left to speak with Lucifer who was with Uriel again.
“Remiel?” Uriel's voice came to me soon after Gabriel had left me.
“Yes?”
“Gabriel is here and is speaking with Lucifer who, surprisingly, is actually listening. I thought you should know. I assume you had some small part in convincing him to speak with Lucifer.”
I had to chuckle, Uriel knew me all too well. “A very small part. Is it going well?”
“Lucifer seems somewhat stunned with what Gabriel is saying..wait a moment.”
I'll admit I waited with bated breath for Uriel to speak again. Any improvement in how my brothers were acting towards each other, no matter how small, was something that I was desperately hoping for. I love all my brothers, even now, after all that has happened. There are things between us that no human could understand, our responsibility as creators and immortality, they are an immense burden to bear alone.
“Well done. Lucifer embraced Gabriel and seems to be thanking him for whatever he said. Gabriel appears very relieved and grateful. Oh, well that's nice to see.”
“What is?” I could sense Uriel's joy and relief at something.
“Gabriel left but Lucifer just turned to me and smiled. Not his usual arrogant smile but something much different, something much more innocent. He has been very somber since he last saw Lillith. Gabriel forgave him, is that correct?”
Some of the tension and distress I had been feeling dissipated at Uriel's words. “After a fashion.” I relayed Gabriel's and my conversation to him.
“It's a start,” Uriel replied. He was much more excited and pleased than his words would lead one to believe. I could feel it. “I have been purposely keeping Lucifer with me more than usual to keep an eye on him for several reasons. I sent Michael to keep an eye on Elohim.”
“Ah, I was wondering why they had become so much closer.”
“It pains me to say it,” he continued, “But I found myself not trusting either of them to keep their word in full. I felt that I should get ahead of any possible future issues instead of letting them catch us unawares again. So far they have both been true the agreement though as far as we can tell.”
“Good.”
“Yes. Now if Gabriel can convince some of the others to speak to Lucifer we may get him back to something close to his old self. It has been hard to see him like this. As much as we may have all wished he were given less to grandiose displays and perfectionist ways I find that I miss it.”
I remembered all the beautiful, heart stopping things Lucifer had created over the years, how truly empty many of the worlds would be without his sheer genius and talent. The way my brothers had been describing his recent creations now troubled me greatly. He had never created anything that was dull, imperfect or without gifting it with something truly unique before. It appeared that was all he was turning out now.
“I think the universe itself misses it,” I replied. “I am glad I could help in some way. Thank you for letting me know what happened.”
“Of course,” Uriel answered, “I will keep you informed if any of the others appear as well.”
For the first time since Lillith awakened I found I had a small bit of hope.