When Miren stepped outside of the Gloveria train station and into the parking lot, the sky matched her demeanor completely. Gray and threatening to rain.
She heard a car horn beep and head instantly snapped in it's direction. When her eyes landed on the silver Prius, it took everything not to roll them--or better yet, go back into the train station. With a deep sigh, she started for the vehicle.
"Dr. Rutherford told me to pick you up," Carlie said as she rolled down the passenger window and unlocked the door. "Is she in on the secret?"
"She's in on the secret," Miren confirmed rather dully, before opening the car door and taking a seat. "But I don't want to talk about that. I want to go to the hospital to see Penelope and Chara."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Carlie said as she left the train station and started for the highway. "They're still in critical condition. And I can tell you don't need any more incentive to feel guilty about what happened."
"I'd feel more guilty pretending nothing happened," Miren said, clenching her jaw. "Jeno's gone, by the way."
"I heard," Carlie said, her eyes soft and sympathetic. "I think he just needs to get away from everything for a while. You too. Did you want to go get lunch in the city? It's Sunday. We don't have to go back to campus just yet."
"Jeno and I had sex last night and now he's gone," Miren just said instead, her gaze passive against the window. However, she could feel Cowdry's glare on her, hot like the inside of a greenhouse. Miren rolled her eyes. "Yes, we used protection. I know that he's going through a lot and it's not because of me--that I shouldn't make this about me--but--"
"It feels like a bitter betrayal?" the instructor guessed, pursing her lips. "You may or may not have known this, but Dr. Edsel was responsible for your attack. He claims he just wanted the football team to scare you a little to get some intel on you, but that they took it too far when you wouldn't comply. But the fact that he shows so little remorse for calling the hit in the first place is unforgivable. So I broke things off with him before you left." She squeezed the steering wheel as the car stopped at an intersection. "And I'm so sorry about what happened to you. But I think things are better off this way--for the both of us."
"So what do we do now?" Miren said, turning to the woman briefly. "Are you still going to stay at Rinzen? Are you going to try to write professionally?"
"I don't know. I'll finish writing your book, but I'm going to shelve it once it's done--I don't want to commercialize your pain - your truth," Carlie replied, making a left turn. "But just know that I'll always have your back. No matter what."
"Thank you. Thank you for everything," Miren replied, tears spilling from her eyes. "Can you still drop me off at the hospital?"
Carlie smiled radiantly for the first time in months. "Sure thing."
***
It wasn't a covert mission in the slightest, but it felt like one to Miren. The bright afternoon radiated inside Harford General Hospital, like the light of reality. She didn't even know if Chara or Penelope were accepting visitors - if they were capable of accepting patients.
Shut up brain, Miren urged herself. The past week had been a whirlwind, hell it was a fucking tornado. Still, she walked as if she had purpose, picking up two bouquets of savagely over-priced flowers and heading to the information desk. The receptionist lady was kind enough to give her--him--a guest past , and then she started for the elevator the 5th floor.
The intensive care unit.
Her heart threatened to burst out of chest with each floor she ascended. Then the sliding silver doors opened. The hospital floors were far more posh than the community hospital in Gloveria - it was clean and sleek and only sort of reminded her of death. Her attention then focused on a monitor with the patient's initials and their room. Sucking in a deep breath, she started for it. She had just crossed the nurse station when she heard it--them.
The Van Helsings.
Rapid-fire Spanish took up most of the sterile air, a blend of Penelope's mom, Ben, and Penelope's voices. It was hard to decipher what exactly they were saying, but it was obvious no one was happy. Miren pursed her lips in contemplation. She was dressed as Miles--she could easily waltz in there, drop off the flowers, and GTFO. But before she could even take a step forward, she heard an angry strut of heels followed by Dr. Van Helsing emerging from the room with Ben and disappearing down the opposite side of the hallway
Miren sighed deeply, but felt no relief. Rather, she started moving toward the room before she could convince herself otherwise. Penelope's door was already propped open, and she slipped inside. But getting inside the room was the farthest she had thought out. And when Penelope turned toward her, her throat instantly went dry as she looked at the bruised girl.
It was rude to stare, but it was hard not too. Penelope looked more or less fine--a white bandage wrapped around her head like a winter hat, and her right leg was in a cast that capped over her knee. She looked tired and disheveled, but it seemed more attributable to the bleak, life draining hospital environment, than some acute process. But aside from that, she looked healthy.
And Miren couldn't be happier.
"Miles," Penelope finally said, blinking. "Why do you look like you're about to cry?"
"Because I was expecting the worst," Miren then said, coming closer, to the side of the bed opposite of the IV cart. She handed Penelope the flowers. "I was in Philadelphia for a few days checking in on Jeno. But I should have come by sooner."
"Apart from Parker and Jemma, my mom hasn't allowed any other visitors," Penelope folded her arms. "I mean, Artemis left flowers, and so did the school, but I honestly don't think anyone wants to actually talk to me." Her eyes shifted to the bouquet in her arms, a small smile forming on her lips. "So it means a lot that you stopped by."
"Of course," Miren said, gritting her teeth behind passive lips. It would be so easy to continue to humor Penelope--engage in small talk for ten minutes then excuse herself in order to go check on Chara. But she was in an emotional bind. "I'm just glad you're okay."
"So am I," Penelope agreed. "My leg should heal in a few months. I'm really lucky that I didn't die--the car was clipped pretty bad on my side." She shook her head. "Stupid Bill Clinton High kids. They're lucky my parents aren't pressing charges. I actually don't know what got into them. They're so concerned--it's like my mom forgives me for everything that has happened."
"Your mom loves you regardless of what you've done, even if it doesn't seem like that," Miren assured her. "They're your family."
"I know," Penelope said, her blue eyes suddenly sentimental. "I finally told her that I'm a lesbian--and she didn't judge me or scold me. She said that she loved me and that she wants me to live in my truth with Chara. Can you believe it?"
"I can." Miren nodded. "You deserve to be happy."
"So do you." Penelope extended her hand to the girl in drag. "So do you."
Everything about the moment was heartfelt and game-changing, but the weight of the world was instantly on Miren's shoulders. To reveal or not reveal? It would change nothing. But it would change everything.
"I want you to have something," Miren said, before reaching into her pocket. She pulled out her locket, it's silver melted from the fire, its finish scrapped by cement and rubble, and handed it to Penelope.
"Wait, how do you have this?"
Miren's mouth quivered before Penelope's eyes widened.
"Did you get this from my brother? My mom's been holding onto it and wouldn't let me have it."
Miren sucked in a breath. "Yes," she said, technically telling the truth. "But I need to tell you--"
"Between the two of me, I'm pretty sure Ben is giving you the scholarship for his program," Penelope told her, before taking a sip from her water cup. "I mean, nothing is finalized, but he's really impressed by you. I haven't seen him this excited about anything."
"Wow, that's great to hear." Miren feigned an optimistic smile. "How did I get so lucky to have your family in my life?"
"Don't ask me," Penelope said, examining the locket in her fingertips before clutching it. "And you might be speaking too soon."
"Alright, time for your pain meds and another vital check, Penelope," a middle-aged nurse then said, entering the space with a portable computer cart and some supplies. She smiled brightly at Miren before turning to Penelope."Who's your friend? Is this the girlfriend you've been talking about?"
Penelope rolled her eyes. "This is Miles. He's the only half decent human being I know. "
The nurse looked at Miren with narrowed but humored eyes. She shrugged before typing something on the computer. "Well, he's definitely a very good looking young man. Almost as cute as the other one that looked like Jesse Williams' brother--"
"Okay, it looks like this is my cue to leave." Miren offered a wave, unsure how much longer she could hide her composure, among other things.
"Wait, I want a hug first," Penelope said extending her hands out to the girl. Miren smiled before embracing the girl. Two seconds lasted an eternity, but when she withdrew she was even more conflicted. She would have to tell Penelope the truth, but was she really going to do it in the ICU?
And when Penelope decided to get her arguably justified payback, it wasn't like Miren had Jeno in her corner anymore.
Jeno.
Her eyes were swelling with tears but she started for the door. "I'm going to check on Chara, and will see if I can give you an update."
"Please," Penelope said as the nurse adjusted the IV in her arm. "Bye."
Miren waved before escaping the room.
***
But the hospital hell wasn't over yet. On the other side of the floor--the neuro ICU--was where Chara lay. And as Miren imagined the worst possible scenario, that Chara was in a vegetative state or something, it was immediately confirmed when she stopped in front of her room, where Ben Van Helsing and a small team of other doctors, probably neurosurgeons, stood over her bed.
She heard words like, "medically-induced coma" and "parietal craniotomy" and her heart dropped to her stomach. She didn't know how long they had been discussing or how long she was standing there when she heard someone clear their throat.
"You gonna keep standing there with your mouth wide open or check on your friend?" Ben's smooth but mocking voice asked her. She blinked before realizing the rest of the doctors had dispersed, probably to do what busy neurosurgeons did.
"Does Penelope know that Chara is in a coma? Is she going to be alright? Is she--" She stopped at the foot of Chara's bed, and watched her through frantic eyes. Chara was intubated, and her face was swollen and unrecognizable. Like Penelope, her head was also wrapped with bandages, but part of it was stained red--bloody. Both of her legs were in casts. And her arms had been wrapped with ACE bandages.
Tears streamed from her eyes as Ben patted her shoulder, her lips, like her body, shaking. "What happened to her? How bad was the accident? Please tell me. Please."
"All I know was that although the collision was on the drivers side, Chara was ejected from the windshield and sustained the most injuries. She's improving, which is a good sign. But it will be a long road to recovery if she makes it."
"If?" Miren's voice cracked. She shook her head like a stubborn child. "No. Don't say that."
"Just because you like lying to yourself doesn't mean I do." He folded his arms over his button up, his blue eyes like steel cutting through her. "This whole situation is fucked up, but it's not your fault. I'm following up with her main neurosurgeon, and I'll be here in the morning to reassess her on rounds."
"How confident are you that she'll wake up?" Miren then said before closing her eyes. She didn't want to know but she had to. "Be brutally honest."
"It's hard to tell. It's still early. Her brain swelling still needs to go down, and her labs are stable, but it's not uncommon for patients in her situation to deteriorate in a matter of hours. She could die tomorrow. She could stay in her coma for months. We just don't know. The brain is the most sophisticated organ."
Miren gritted her teeth. "Did your medical degree from Harvard tell you this?"
"Look, Miles. I know this is a lot for you, but keep in mind that I also have a sister in the hospital right now, and I'm trying to make sure her girlfriend doesn't die when I might be one of the only people who can save her." He shook his head. "So if you could stop whining and just go live your double life or something I'd appreciate it."
"You're right. I'm sorry," Miren said in a hush. "You're right. I should go. Get back to reality."
"You'll get through this. Remember, don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything." His attention briefly turned to his phone. "Just now isn't the best time."
"I completely understand." Miren started for the door. "Take care."
***
Like a zombie, Miren made it back to Rinzen. As she passed the iron gates, the weight of the dusking day crashed on top of her exhausted shoulders. There were too many devastating revelations to keep track of, and it was even more tragic that seeing Penelope (at the fucking hospital of all places) was the highlight of said day.
Miren's legs were heavy and dragged against the pavement, the sound of her loafers scraping against it were the only source of manmade noise on campus. But that was to be expected; it was the Sunday before graduation week, and for that reason and perhaps that reason only, the administration office appeared to be the only place open aside from the dorms.
She walked into the brick-clad building without a second thought, heard the bumble of voices in the lobby area, where some students were assembling a huge banner for the graduation ceremony, and waved at one of the seniors completing a graduation program on the computer where the receptionist usually worked.
She passed the VPs office, which was closed and vacant, but to her surprise, light bled from beneath Dr. Edsel's glossy rosewood door. She stopped where the light stretched against the marble floors, before her eyes focused on the door. Her right hand folded into a fist in preparation to knock, until she ultimately decided against it. Her hand instead found the doorknob and she turned it. However, opening the door wasn't the jarring part, it was the sight that met her.
Dr. Edsel crying over a glass of scotch. When his gray eyes met hers, she knew there was no escape.