A week had passed since my encounter with Terran. Most of my injuries had healed and Danny was safe. At least as safe as he could be until we identified the traitor. It left us all hanging in an uneasy limbo. Our days had been spent in a heightened state of fear and suspicion. Fear that someone would get to my son when my guard was down. Suspicion as I looked at every Demon or Soul within the underworld as a potential enemy.
And yet I still had to attend a bloody party.
Despite asking for a reprieve, Lucius had been unwavering. I had to do my duty. He had tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pressed a kiss against my forehead but his gestures offered little comfort.
Pressing my lips together, I drew in a deep breath and then released it on a sigh. Greta's efforts were wasted on me. The dress wrapped around my body was exquisite. It was made from beautiful silver coloured fabric which caught every beam of light and sparkled brightly. Yet, it did nothing to lift my mood.
"Come on Danny," I said quietly as I held out my hand. "Let's go and find Lucius."
Danny's face lit up at the mention of Lucius, his eyes brightening as he eagerly slipped his hand in mine. And yet the smile quickly slipped away.
"I think he'll be excited to see you," I offered, glancing down at the boy beside me. He scuffed his shoes against the floor, dragging his feet as he kept his gaze down. "I know he was sad he couldn't play Lego with you. He's just trying to stop the bad men from causing any more trouble."
I swallowed past the lump in my throat as his little shoulders shrugged in response. Nothing was how it should be. The underworld was preparing for full scale civil war. Increased patrols. Fear was spreading throughout the city below. As a result, Lucius spent most of his time locked up in his office or in meetings.
Danny missed him.
Heck, I missed him.
Finally Danny nodded his head and when he lifted his gaze, I felt my stomach lurch at the serious expression on his face. Sometimes it felt as if someone centuries older now resided within my son's body, especially when he looked at me with those soulful eyes. "Luce is going to stop more demons from dying,"
Stiffening, I asked, "Where did you hear that?"
"Greta told Marla."
"I'm sorry you had to hear that, sweetheart. They shouldn't have said that in front of you."
My son wrinkled his little nose before he said, "but it's true."
Sighing loudly, I nodded my head. "Yes, honey. Some demons have died. But we will find who did it and make sure they can't hurt any more people. Okay?"
Danny nodded his head and fell quiet. I didn't like it. He was too young to be weighed down by these burdens. Maybe it was a mistake to return to the underworld with Lucius. Maybe I should have remained on Earth with Danny. We could have been safe.
Even as I thought it, I knew it wouldn't have mattered. Trouble always found its way to me, whether it be human or supernatural in nature.
Crouching down, I wrapped my sweet boy into a hug as if I could protect him from all of the evil coming our way. "I love you, sweetheart."
His sweet reply came only a second later, "Love you, mummy."
A cough broke our moment. "They're waiting for you, milady." A green skinned sentry demon stated.
Raising my head, I offered him a nod and with much reluctance released Danny from the hug.
Taking a deep breath, I stood. Then, taking my son's hand once more, I pulled back my shoulders and raised my head before I strode into the throne room like I owned the place. The familiar nerves twisted uncomfortably within my stomach but I kept my face expressionless. It would do no good to show weakness now. Lucius and I had to present a united front and prove we were stronger together. Even if it didn't always feel it.
Heads turned as I entered, guests pausing as I passed them by. I nodded to those I passed, though my eyes gravitated towards the man at the front of the room. Lucius was holding centre stage with ease. The demons surrounding him were entranced and I could understand why. As if noticing the change in atmosphere, blue eyes lifted to meet mine and I drew in an involuntary breath.
Closing the distance between us, Danny walking patiently at my side, I allowed a smile to slip through my mask. Warm callused fingers wrapped around my free hand even as his eyes swept along the length of my body. Had someone turned up the temperature? The intensity of his gaze was enough to cause a blush to form across my cheeks.
Leaning up on my toes, I pressed a kiss to Lucius's cheek. The scent of his aftershave surrounded me as I tilted my head upwards so my lips brushed his ear. "You're going to pay for that later."
He shivered under the feather-light touch. "Is that a promise?"
"Enough" I chastised, slapping him playfully on the arm. "We've got company."
Without waiting for a response, I turned to survey the party which was livening up around us.
Even the underworld celebrated holidays. The spring equinox was one of the most sacred and celebrated with brightly coloured ribbons knotted together and strung around the room. It felt like a marvel the underworld could track the passing of time. The seasons were different here. There were no leaves falling from trees or snow showers as winter sweeps in.
Soft lilting music filled the air around me. The band had set up in the corner, a beautiful woman stood at the forefront of the raised stage. Her voice was soft and smooth and soothed the weariness I felt within. I couldn't understand the words she was singing but I felt them, I felt them deep within me. It reminded of a time long passed when my mum had taken me to the Opera. I had been so small that my feet hung a foot off of the ground as I sat on those plush red velvet seats. It hadn't mattered. I had been entranced as every single haunting note within my soul.
This performer managed the same. For a few seconds I allowed my eyes to drift closed. I absorbed the sounds, breathing in deep even breaths as I tried to lose myself in the music.
Something cold touched my arm. My eyes snapped open and I glanced up at Castiel with a frown. He had dressed up for the occasion, his trench coat was nowhere in sight and instead he was a black tuxedo complete with the bow tie. He raised a champagne flute and offered it to me.
"What's with the tuxedo?" I asked as I accepted the glass. "And I don't mean that in a bad way. It looks good on you."
Cass bowed his head in acknowledgement. "I believe there are some things humanity has managed to improve upon over the years. Formal attire is one of them. I've never been a fan of the formal togas." He scrunched up his nose in glanced over at a few of the demons who had chosen to adorn some of the more traditional attire. "It always made me feel too exposed."
I snorted which quickly turned into choking and spluttering as I inhaled the champagne I had been sipping. With my eyes streaming, I glanced up at the angel by my side.
"Don't do that to me again," I croaked. "Wait until I've finished drinking before you say something like that."
Cass shook his head even as his eyes twinkled. "I don't understand what you mean, Miss Holmes. I haven't said anything at all which should give you this reaction."
I raised my brows. "Is that so?"
"Yes, it is so."
"Well, if you haven't got anything better to do, why don't you show me around and introduce me to some people. Lucius seems to be busy." I said, glancing over to see my fiancé leading a woman around on the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the room. She was a rather robust demon who was getting a little too friendly with Lucius's backside.
"Maybe you should rescue him."
I considered it. Briefly. And then I gave Lucius a pleasant wave as he passed, letting a laugh escape my lips when after a particularly vigorous twirl the demon gave his backside another squeeze.
"No," I grinned, "I think he is just fine on his own."
"You are a cruel woman."
"I know. It's great isn't it?"
"Let's go before he tries to murder me for something you did. I quite enjoy living." Castiel stated, holding out his arm for me to take.
Downing the rest of my champagne, I placed the empty flute on to an empty table. Then, hooking my arm through his and with Danny at my side, the three of us took a turn about the room.
Our progress was slow. We were stopped every few feet by some demon or another. Cass was a face they recognised and naturally they gravitated towards him. I felt in awe of him. It wasn't often I witnessed him acting the par - the fallen angel and warrior of the demons. He handled everything with ease, listening attentively and then pacifying their concerns with gentle but firm words.
I found an entirely new level of respect for him.
And I wasn't the only one.
The healer who had saved Lucius stood just outside of the circle of demons around us. She faced away from us in a floor length golden gown but, from the way she tilted her head, I could tell that she was listening to everything Castiel was saying.
I shook my head. They were still dancing around one another. Neither seemed capable of taking the step that they needed to. In the midst of all the madness happening around us, the pair of them deserved happiness. Aurelia was dedicated to her work but I had also seen the loneliness she tried so hard to hide. She deserved more than that and if Cass was the one she wanted -.
"I'll be back in a moment." I murmured, unlooping my arm from Castiel's. He frowned but I just smiled up at him. "Don't worry about me, I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."
He nodded so I took my cue and moved away. I was glad for the reprieve. Although I was proud of Cass, it was still stifling to stand by his side and be ignored.
Crouching down, I pulled Danny up into my arms. He immediately rested his head on my shoulder and gave a loud yawn. Guilt welled up within me. He should be in bed but Lucius had wanted him here with us. Placing a kiss on his head, I stepped up beside Aurelia.
"Hi," I greeted. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
She startled, her eyes snapping up from the bubbles in her champagne. She blinked owlishly before she smiled. "Good evening milady." She allowed her gaze to drift around the room. "Yes, though I imagine this civility will not last too much longer. The equinox parties are notorious for getting a little out of hand. I was surprised to receive an invitation. Normally I am on call for any post party injuries which may occur."
My eyes widened. "The parties really get that out of hand? It appears to be just like any other posh party."
"You'd be surprised what demons can get up to when given the excuse. Things can get a little wild though usually not until after midnight. Witching hour." Aurelia's eyes twinkled mischievously.
I turned on my heel and glanced over at all of the guests in an entirely new light. "Well, I never expected that."
"I'll leave before then. I have no interest in a night of exhibitionism but, if you decide to stick around for the end of the party, be prepared for some ugly sights."
"Wow." I stated, glancing over at Lucius's back. "Just wow. I can't believe Lucius didn't warn me about this. And I can't believe he told me to bring Danny with me."
"You can't blame him. He's been away from here for a long time. He's always off completing some mission, duty, or other. He's probably forgotten just how bad they can get." Aurelia stated, her gaze following mine. Her lips pulled up into a sad smile. "When you live as long as we do, the memories which are less important begin to fade."
"That's really sad. Though it's probably necessary, I couldn't imagine forgetting moments like this." I said quietly, before glancing down at the son in my arms. His eyes had drifted closed and his breathing was even as he slept.
"No one ever can. The truth is you don't even realise it is happening and then one day, you'll try to recall something but the space that memory used to occupy is taken up by something else." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "I've forgotten most of my human life. I know I was married. I know I signed a contract to save someone's life. I was a doctor when I was a human too. But I cannot remember who I was trying to save. Or why. I think it is self-preservation. My mind chose to forget the things which hurt the most. It chose to forget the people I had left behind and could no longer see."
"I know it's probably a personal question but why did you choose to become demon. Why didn't you drink the water and take another shot at life after your debts were paid." I asked, before hastily adding. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"No, it's okay." She brushed her hair behind her ear and let out a long side. "The truth is I was afraid. Afraid to live a life again when there was the very great chance I could suffer more loss. Or I could end up in the exact same position I was in before. I had found my place here. I had a sense of belonging. Once a person has that, only a fool would let it go."
She glanced across at Castiel briefly, her gaze lingering for a moment before she dragged her gaze away. It was as if she could not allow them to linger for too long.
"Okay, I have another personal question." I said quietly, waiting for the demon woman to pull her gaze back around. "You don't have to answer this one either but, I've noticed something between you and Castiel. You've said only a fool would let go of something as special as belonging somewhere so why don't you take the chance for happiness when it is standing right in front of you?"
Aurelia staggered back a step, her face contorting as she rubbed as her chest, right over her heart. She glanced away as she attempted to gather her thoughts. My stomach lurched uncomfortably as guilt swept through.
After a moment Aurelia allowed her gaze to move back to the Tuxedo-clad angel. Her eyes lit up for just a second as they first drank in the sight of him, hope causing them to sparkle, and her lips to stretched into a wide unconscious smile. But a moment later her smile dropped and a frown took its place as reality came crashing back in.
With her shoulders slumped, Aurelia tore her gaze away as she replied, "I care about Castiel a great deal. I cannot deny that when he was recovering, a connection formed between us." Aurelia's lips pulled up into a smile, her eyes growing distant. "He would always try to make me smile. No matter how much pain he was in, or how much he was suffering, he didn't stop until I had given him at least one smile. But it doesn't matter. We don't have a future together."
Noting the tear gathering at the corner of her eye, I gently placed a hand against her back and urged her to the edge of the room. Aurelia had wrapped her arms around her waist, as if trying to comfort herself.
"What did you mean?" I whispered, my eyes running up and down the length of her. "How can you not have a future with him? Are you dying?"
Aurelia laughed a sad humourless laugh before she turned her eyes once more to the man stood in the middle of the room. "He acts like he's enjoying himself. He acts like he belongs. And he does. Yet Castiel has always dreamed of returning to his true home. When his wings began to change, to become white once more, it was as if a weight had been lifted. He began to hope again and I hope for him too. I think the time for him to return to home will come soon."
I raised my brows and it felt as if a little lightbulb was flashing in my mind. "And you don't want to get in his way."
Aurelia shook her head and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin. "He's wanted it for so long. How could I be selfish and take away his dreams? It would only make him hate and resent me. I couldn't imagine anything worse." She sighed and peeked over at Cass again, the longing in her gaze painful to look at. "I could try to enjoy the time I have with him but I don't want to be heartbroken when he finally leaves. And he will. I could cope if he left. I am not some weak shrew but it is less painful to lose something before you become fully invested, before you give too much of yourself over to it."
I nodded my head, but somewhere in my head I knew that it was too late. Although this woman tried to deny it, she was already too far gone. The very fact she had even opened up to me, a woman who was nothing more than an acquaintance to her, told me just how affected she was by Castiel and the thought of losing him.
Glancing around at the rest of the guests, who were certainly starting to get a little rowdier, I searched for an escape.
"Why don't we go and find somewhere quiet? I'm not really in the party mood. And neither is this one." I stated, rubbing a soothing hand up my son's back. He slept on peacefully, content in his dreams without a care in the world. "There's a garden which is incredibly peaceful."
Aurelia didn't even hesitate to nod her head. "Thank you. I don't think I can be here any longer."
"Great."
With the staff in the throne room attending to the guests, the rest of the palace was strangely absent of people. It was a little eerie because there was usually at least one person bustling about with their duties. Yet, except for a few stragglers immediately outside of the throne room, we met no other people on our journey to the gardens.
Instead, our footsteps echoed off of the walls with the ever distant sounds of the party at our back. I found my feet picking up their pace, eager to be outside and free from the confines of the castle. The gardens had quickly become my refuge.
It was no different when I finally stepped outside. The gardens were quiet and peaceful in comparison to the throne room. Stepping out into the cooler air, I drew in a deep breath and let loose a long sigh.
"Much better," I muttered, closing my eyes even as I hugged my son to my chest. "It was far too stuffy in there."
"There's always a little bit too much hot air going around when you have that many demons in the same room at once. They all talk a big pile of sh-. I mean they all talk nonsense."
I chuckled. "I see what you did there. I appreciate the attempt at censorship but my son is asleep. I hardly think he's going to notice if you slip up and swear."
Ignoring my words, Aurelia joined me outside. She quickly discarded her shoes, her toes digging into the dirt. "It's amazing how peaceful it is here. I've never seen anything like it. And I have seen many things in my lifetime." She muttered, her gaze still upon the sky above.
"It is pretty amazing. I call it the little patch of paradise. It allows me to breathe and become balanced again when everything is going crazy. It happens a lot these days."
"I can understand that." Aurelia replied, pausing and looking my way. "Sometimes it feels as if there is just one disaster occurring after another. I don't even fight in the battles but it doesn't stop me from feeling the strain. I hate watching people suffer no matter who they are or where they are from."
I walked past her and continued onwards until I was in the centre of the copse of trees. Then, ever so carefully, I slowly lowered myself down on to the grass and gently settled Danny down beside me. He barely noted the change in positioning; he just curled up on his side and continued to sleep. It was so easy being a child unperturbed by the concerns of adulthood.
I watched Aurelia for a long while. It took several long minutes for her to gather herself. Why had I asked her about such a sensitive topic in the middle of a crowded ballroom? It was inappropriate and it was not the right time to make a person vulnerable. Guilt wrapped its clutched around my heart.
My son grunted and rolled onto his back drawing my gaze away. Little snores followed a moment later as he settled back into sleep.
"You're very lucky." Aurelia stated, drifting across the grass serenely. She sat down beside me, the picture of elegance as she did so. Her eyes drifted over to Danny, lingering on his peaceful expression. "You've got a beautiful son. Not many people around here get to be so lucky."
I nodded my head, my conversation with Greta immediately coming to mind. "Greta, my maid, told me that child birth rates were really low among demons."
"Yes, though they have been on the rise recently. I have been called to confirm two new pregnancies this week which is almost unheard of. I believe that is all due to both the rapid population increase in the humans but also due to the number of casualties the demon race has suffered over the past few years." Aurelia stated, her hands casually picking at the grass beneath her. "From what I understand, though I have never been able to find the exact cause of it, the birth rate goes up or down dependent on the demand. It appears to be determined by magic."
I pressed my lips together, my hands reaching out to stroke through Danny's hair. "Do you think it will affect me?"
Aurelia lifted her head and in her face I found no answers. "I don't know. You are unlike anything I have ever seen before. Technically, you are neither demon nor angel. You are meant to walk down the path between the two. I have no idea if you will be affected by the problems they have in conceiving. There have never been problems with conceiving Halflings so you may be okay."
Reaching out, the other woman wrapped her fingers around mine and squeezed. "I know it's stupid. When I was younger I didn't even want children. Danny changed all of that. But when Greta mentioned the difficulties with demon pregnancies." I swallowed loudly and looked at the boy at my side. "The thought that I might not get the chance to give Lucius a child, it makes feel as if someone has struck a blow to my heart."
"Don't even think about that. I recommend you live your life to the fullest. If it is going to happen for you, it will happen." She offered a bitter smile. "When you spend your days thinking about what if and what could be, life will just pass you by. You will regret that more than anything else. I have seen it happen too many times, to the demons who long for a child but never get their wish granted. Treasure what you already have and make the most of it."
Glancing down at my sleeping son and thinking of the man who waited for me within the throne room, I knew she was right. I had my family. There was no point worrying about future possibilities. If I did have a child somewhere down the line with Lucius it would be a miracle. Yet, if I didn't, it wouldn't be the end of the world. We were a family and we had each other. That would be enough. Anything extra would just be a bonus.
"Thanks, I think I needed to hear that. I spend so much time around men these days but it's not the same as talking to a woman who truly understands."
"You're welcome. And thank you for not trying to change my mind about Castiel." She replied in a shaky voice. "It has been hard enough to come to this decision without someone trying to change my mind."
"It is not my place to change your mind. I think you and Cass could have something special but I understand your reasons." I pulled the demon into a hug, offering comfort in the only way I knew how. "I respect your decision on this."
Aurelia's arms hugged me back as she murmured, "Thank you."