Chapter 4
Aspyn
"Girl. I can't believe they offered ten thousand over asking off the bat." I said to my assistant, Mya.
"Right. They also said they would wave the inspection." She answered.
"I would never do that. Not even on this million-dollar home. But hey. You know I'm not mad at that." I told her, a big smile on my face.
"Hell no, you not mad. You just made six figures on this sale."
"Not until the paperwork is done. You know I don't count my pennies until they in the bank girl." I told her.
"I know that's right. But I'm counting mine. That's how much for me?" Mya asked.
"IF everything goes through, ten stacks baby girl." I told her and we both started to twerk and laugh around the house.
"I can't wait until I'm finished this last class and can take the test. Then I can make the real money like you." she said as we hip bumped like we were at a seventies disco.
Just then my phone went off. I could tell by the song, Jodeci's All my life, that it was Kai." I ran over to answer it.
"Hey babayyy.." I said.
"You must have sold the house." His deep voice answered.
"Sure did. For well over asking price. Just have to get the paperwork together."
"I'm proud of you. Now you can quit." He said half -jokingly.
"Not that mess again. I told you that I like my job. I actually love it." I explained for the hundredth time.
"And I like my woman to be home with our kids."
"That's kid."
"Exactly. If you were home more, it could be with an 's'." he answered.
'Mikai." I whispered into the phone.
'Alright. I called to see what time you would be home. Asa is going home with Vicki tonight since it's the weekend and I wanted to have a candlelight dinner with you at home. Just the two of us." He announced.
"I'm all for that. Let me see." I put him on hold and called over to Mya. "Mya, do you think you can get the paperwork together on this and send it over?"
"Yeah, I'm good here. You can take off." She told me.
I gave her the thumbs up and blew her a kiss as I got back on the phone. "Give me an hour." I told him.
"I'll be waiting." He said. "Love you."
"Love you too."
I pulled up to our house and into the garage since it was beginning to drizzle. The door from the garage let's you into the kitchen and my husband was in there, apron on, cooking and looking like a whole meal himself.
"Hey girl." He said, handing me a glass of Pinot.
"A girl can get used to this."
"Used to what?" he asked, taking a sip of his beer and then taking the food off the stove and making plates.
"Used to seeing you in the kitchen."
I should have known there was something going on when he didn't respond. He took the tongs and put my favorite, shrimp scampi, on the plate and then added a garlic knot. He did the same for himself and we walked into the dining room where candles were lit. I smiled as he sat my plate down in front of me and next to where he was sitting.
He then pulled my seat out for me. As I sat, he went back and grabbed his beer. Returning to join me. We held hands and he said grace. Thanking God for everything we had. And we had much to be thankful for. Even with a special needs child. She taught us patience and unconditional love. We also had the means to be sure she had all she needed medically and in any other way.
We ate in silence for a few moments. I could tell there was something off. I had the same feeling that I had been in the pit of my stomach for months now. I decided to test the waters.
"This taste so good baby. You spoil me." I told him.
"I'm glad you like it." he said with a serious face. I put my fork down and sat back in my chair. I put my legs across his and took a sip of wine. He put his fork down and began to rub my legs and feet.
"What is all of this?" I asked him.
"I wanted to spend time with you, alone."
"Yes. And you want to talk. We have known each other too long for half-truths. Please do not start now. I know there is something going on with you. Tell me what it is."
He looked at me and took a deep breath. "I think we want different things in this life."
I snatched my legs off of him and sat up. "Where is that coming from?" I asked him.
"Remember when we first got engaged?" he asked me.
"Yes. How could I forget. You proposed with a piece of twine and put it on my finger. We've come a long way since then." I said as I flashed my four carats that he had upgraded me to years ago.
"We wanted to have a house full of kids. You wanted to be here and raise them. A tribe we used to call it." he reminded me.
"We were kids ourselves back then. Those were dreams of naïve kids. That's what we were. Naïve." I reminded him.
"Yes. We were. But I meant it then and I still mean it now. It seems you are the one that has changed. I have given you everything that I promised you. Even though I made those promises as a young, naïve kid just starting out. Am I lying?" he asked.
The truth was, he was not lying. He had given me a good life. With everything he promised. I was the one going back on mine. I kept quiet. He knew that was me conceding to his words. So, he kept going.
"We have Asa. And I love her to death. You know that. But I want more children. And I want a wife to be at home. Taking care of me and them. I know that's not what you want any longer. You have made that clear. This real estate business fulfills you. And don't get me wrong, I love your independence. I really do. But I need a wife that is willing to live the life that you and I agreed on."
"So, I'm not allowed to grow and change my mind? Want something different?" I asked him. Tears forming in my eyes.
"Of course. It should go both ways though. Because what I want hasn't changed. That has to be allowed too. Especially if you are allowed to do the opposite. It's only fair." He explained.
"What is the bottom line here? Are you saying that you don't want me anymore because we have different goals now? I asked. Tears streaming down my face.
"No. baby. It's not like that. I still love you. I can't do without you." he told me, coming over to wipe my tears with his napkin. "I did have a thought. I need you to keep an open mind. Promise me that you will hear me out." he asked. I nodded that I would. "No. I need more than a head nod. I need you to say it. Promise me."
I tried to control my breathing. It felt like I was drowning. I didn't know what he wanted to say. But I did what he asked. We made a pact years ago that if we promised something, we never went back on our word unless circumstances absolutely prohibited it.
"I promise to hear you out." I said, holding up my right hand as if I were being sworn in on the witness stand.
"How would you feel if I took a second wife?" he asked.
Not able to fully comprehend what the hell he was saying, I just stared at him. I know that this ninja did not just ask me to bring another woman into our relationship. I know I heard wrong. Shaking my head back and forth to try and get the static that must be running through me out, I continued to stare.
"Why are you shaking your head? You promised to think about it." He asked.
"No. I'm trying to understand what you are saying. I think I'm probably misinterpreting what it is you said. Can you repeat it for me with a short explanation?" I asked him.
"Alright. I know it's a lot to take in. But I am asking how you would feel about me taking on a second wife. She would be a sister wife, of sorts, to you."
"Oh. You mean I did hear you correctly. You would like my permission to cheat on me. That's what I am hearing." I told him, pushing my chair back and standing up. He must think I'm a damn idiot.
"No. It wouldn't be cheating. She would be my wife. The way you are. And you would both work together as a unit. I mean, you can't be that shocked that this came up." He said, standing as well.
"Don't tell me what I can and can't be. Why would I not be shocked that my husband is asking me if it's okay for him to sleep with another woman? Asking me to give my damn blessing to it in fact. Yes. I'm shocked as hell." I let him know, clearly.
"We talked about this before. Years ago, was the first time I mentioned it. We've had plenty of conversations about polygamy since then. Don't tell me that you don't remember."
"I am telling you just that. And this is some shit that would stick in my memory. I am sure of that."
"Let me refresh your memory. Remember the show we watched when a girl was trying to escape her family because her father wanted her to marry someone and become his fifth wife?"
"Vaguely..." I answered, shrugging my shoulders. We watched lots of shit. We watched a show where people get naked and live in the amazon for a week. Doesn't mean I'm booking a flight.
"And the conversation that followed? When we talked about the pros and cons of having more than one wife?"
The more he spoke, the more it came back to me. We had talked about it a couple of times. I never thought he was really considering it. I thought we were just making conversation. The same way married couples speak about politics, money and other things. I never thought for a moment that he was actually considering taking another wife.
Granted, he did say that he wasn't opposed to it. The more I thought about the conversation, the more I remember it almost being a debate. I remember that he was more pro than con. The room started to spin and I had to sit down again. I made my way back to the chair that held me before the floor had the chance.
"You remember now, don't you?" he asked me as he came behind me and began to massage my tensed shoulders.
"Kai. I never thought that you really wanted this. I thought they were just discussions. I need to know why. What is it that you are missing from me that you feel like you need someone else? Am I that horrible of a wife to you?" I asked, swallowing back the tears into my nauseous stomach.
"Pynnie. It's not that you aren't a great wife. You are. It has nothing to do with not loving you. I love you with all my heart. But, as we have been speaking about, there are things that we want that are different. And I don't think I'm willing to compromise on them."
"Having a stay at home wife and mother and a house full of kids..." I recalled almost in a whisper.
"Yes. All of that. On top of those reasons, you know I have always been into alternative lifestyles. Especially for us black people. You know how Ethnocentric I am. How many times have I said that we as a people need to build up our families again? Almost like tribal living. Become self-sufficient. That's why I started the business and worked so hard to expand it. It's why I took the gardening classes at HomeTown and started growing our own vegetables and fruit. This is real for me. It's what I want and it's what I believe in." He told me as he came to sit in front of me once again. Taking my shocked face in his hands.
I felt like I had been missing all of the signs that he was now bringing up. Kai wasn't lying. He was always watching shows on how people lived. He read books on it and it was the topic of conversation on several occasions. Not just polygamy. Moving to a remote place and living off of the land. Black people with blonde hair that still lived out in the Amazon. Taking different jobs. Learning to be completely able to depend on yourself and each other. These were all conversations that we had before. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"And what if I don't want to live that way? I asked him.
"Aspyn. I love you, but you have to compromise with me. Right now, you aren't. You are refusing to give on anything. No more children. You want to continue working. And not even at the business with me. You are off doing your own thing. I want to stay in this marriage with you. I really do. I love you beyond words. But, I have told you what I need. It's up to you to choose.
My mouth just hung open as I took in what he was saying. If I didn't go along with what he wanted, either the stay at home aspect, or the plural marriage, he would leave me. Which I absolutely did not want. I had to think and I couldn't even begin to focus while I was sitting in there. The air all around me was very, thick, for some reason.
I stood up, went to the door and put my shoes back on. Grabbing my car keys, I went back out through the kitchen door and down into the garage. Climbed back in my car, rolled the windows down and backed out of the garage. I drove and hopped on the highway. My windows were down as I allowed the wind to dry my tears.