"DON'T STOP BELIEVING!"
"Oh God, Trina, SHUT UP!" I yelled over my sisters so-called-singing. Not that it worked, she just continued to scream the words at the top of her lungs as we flew through the roads like there was no tomorrow.
We went to the mall after school because Trina was 'in desperate need of new clothes' and, as she was my ride home, I was forced to tag along and help her. Normally, I love shopping, trying on all sorts of wacky fun outfits, most of which I wouldn't actually wear out ever, but, with Trina, it was just a nightmare minus the sleep. For three hours I was pulled from store to store in search of the 'perfect' pair of jeans, not even getting to try on a single sock for myself. The only redeeming part was going out for dinner afterward, but, as Trina had managed to spend every dime of her allowance on her new clothes, I had to pay, so it wasn't all great.
On our way home I was sat leaning against the door, my cheek pressed up against the cool window as I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on anything but the pounding headache I had, which was why Trina's noise pollution was bothering me so much. When she ignored my pleas for silence, I just went back to staring out of the window. As we rounded a corner, Trina slowed the car down a little; thankfully, she really is a reckless driver. I gave a small sigh of relief when the song came to an end too and was about to turn to ask her to shut the radio off for a bit when something outside caught my eye. We were travelling down a street very close to home and against a wall lay a ball of what looked very much like human, a very familiar human.
"Trina, stop the car!" I called, fumbling hurriedly for my seatbelt.
"Why?" She asked, glancing in my direction briefly then turning back to the mirror she was admiring herself in.
"Just stop the car!" I panicked.
She'd barely put her foot on the brake before I flung the door open and tumbled out of the car as it slowed. Another car honked its horn loudly and swerved as I stumbled to my feet, ignoring Trina's yells of 'wanting to kill myself' and staggered towards the sobbing form that was Jade West, lying on the concrete, looking a wreck.
"Jade?" I said softly, nervously. She didn't respond. "Jade?"
I tentatively closed the distance between us and my left hand found her right, lacing our fingers together in what I hoped was a comforting gesture, while my other hand brought her to me, holding her closer as her dry sobs wracked her body.
"Shush, Jade, it's okay." I murmured. "It'll be okay." I didn't know what it was, or if it would really be okay, but it seemed to be calming her down a bit, so I kept it up, just whispering hushed words of comfort in her ear.
"Can you get up?" I asked after a short while. She jerked her head a little in reply, so I managed to scoop her up and help her towards the car that was parked at an angle on the curb. Trina was stood up at the drivers side, gaping at us as I helped Jade into the back, where she curled up in a ball again, resting her head on my lap as I stroked her hair.
"What's-?" My sister began, but I shook my head both to tell her to stop and because I didn't actually know what was wrong and wasn't prepared to ask just yet; Jade looked like she was in no fit state to talk about it.
Trina raised an eyebrow but said no more as she climbed back into the car and drove off again at a much slower speed than before. The radio was off now and Jade's cries had calmed. She fidgeted slightly in my lap, turning to look up at me, to which I gave a small smile, before her eyes fluttered shut and she drifted off into an exhausted sleep. I continued to play with her hair as I watched her, trying to think of what could possibly happen to make Jade like this. I'd seen her cry before, but nothing this bad; it was weird to see her so vulnerable and not her usual headstrong self. And why had I jumped out of the car to her? It was instinct, to see a friend crying and want to stop to help, I guess, but, as Trina had called after me, I had almost gotten myself killed in the process.
I sighed and watched over Jade as she slept in my lap, breathing heavily and occasionally twitching, her eyes would screw up and she'd make a little humming noise like she was annoyed at whatever was bothering her in her dream. I almost didn't want to wake her when we eventually got to the house, but there was no way I could carry her inside.
"Jade?" I murmured, nudging the girl. She hummed again and swatted at my hand like a cat at a piece of string, I just managed to suppress a giggle. "Jade, wake up, lets go inside."
She huffed and slowly opened her eyes, blinking up at me from where her head still lay on my legs. She looked momentarily blissful, like she was still dreaming, but then she sprang up, surprised, from her position and sat up in the seat beside me, brushing off her clothes as she adjusted herself.
"Where are we?" She asked drowsily, stifling a yawn with her fist.
"My house." I answered.
"Why?"
I bit my lip, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and fiddled with the door handle to my left. Trina had already gotten out of the car and gone inside after tossing me the keys so I could lock up. "You were just lying on the sidewalk, so, um, I kinda picked you up."
She blinked again and rubbed her eyes, her make up already smudged from the tears. I opened the door and slipped out of the car, Jade following, and we walked into the house in silence. I gestured for her to sit on the couch before taking a seat next to her. To my surprise, Trina walked over with two glasses of water and handed them to each of us with nothing but an understanding nod in my direction. Jade took her glass, giving my sister a small, grateful smile, then gulped it down in one, wiping her mouth on her sleeve when she'd finished.
I opened my mouth to talk but before I could say a word, Jade interrupted.
"I don't want to talk about."
I instantly shut my mouth again and nodded, unsure of what to say.
We sat awkwardly side by side and it dawned on me that the last time we were here we had come so close to kissing, if it wasn't for Trina walking in at the wrong moment. A part of me wondered if that had something to do with Jade's behaviour; what she had said still played on my mind, even after a week, her words were all I could think of. It must be affecting her too, but I hadn't had a chance to ask anything about it as she spent the entire week avoiding me. I'd seen her in the corridors, ducking behind people or racing around the corners when she saw me coming. It hurt that she would just do that then leave, this stupid little crush made sure of that. No matter how much I tried to not think about it, it'd creep up on me at the worst times, like when she sat in front of me in class and I'd find I hadn't been paying any attention because I was too busy staring at the back of her head... or like now, getting completely side-tracked from the real issue because I was too busy thinking about how I felt, rather than Jade herself.
"I'm tired." Jade stated after awhile as she ran her finger around the top of the glass still clasped firmly in her hand.
I made a noise of agreement. "Me too."
She got to her feet, looking anywhere but at me while uncomfortably playing with the hem of her jacket. "I should... I should leave..."
"No!" I said, a little too desperately, jumping to my feet too. I rubbed at the back of my neck, hoping she hadn't noticed. I was worried about her that was all. "Stay. I mean, I doubt Trina's gunna wanna drive now, and, you know, you're upset and all..."
To my relief, Jade nodded and sank back down onto the couch, grabbing one of the cushions to plump up, before lying down and curling up, putting said cushion under her head. "Well, get me a blanket or something, Vega." She said in her usual Jade West tone.
I shook my head before I'd even had time to think about it; I couldn't just leave her to sleep on my sofa given the state she was in, could I?
"No, sleep in my bed, you look like you need it."
"I don't need your charity." She spat stubbornly, closing her eyes and shifting around to get comfortable.
"Jade." I said, rubbing my temple. What was I even doing right now? "Come on, you were lying on the sidewalk for who knows how long, a sofa will do you no good. I'll sleep on the floor or something."
She gave me a blank look, her eyes narrowed as she contemplated my offer until she gave me a small nod and got up again; walking passed me without a word to go to my bedroom. I followed cautiously, a few steps behind so that by the time I'd made it into my room, Jade was there searching through my draws.
"Looking for anything in particular?" I asked, wandering up behind her.
"Pyjamas." She said simply, slowly closing my underwear draw before turning to me with a smirk that wasn't quite up to her usual standards but still made me feel embarrassed. "Pretty panties there, Vega." She commented, chuckling as I blushed.
"Shut up." I mumbled, shoving past her to the right draw to toss a spare pair of pyjamas at her. "You get changed in here; I'll go to the bathroom."
She agreed and I almost ran out the door. If I really started to think about it, I'd realise just how weird this situation was, and I still hadn't found out why Jade was curled up on the sidewalk in the first place. I didn't want to ask, it felt like I was intruding on something private and if Jade wasn't ready to tell me yet, then I shouldn't push her, this seemed more delicate than anything she'd usual get upset over, which wasn't much. I changed slowly, not sure how fast Jade would take to get ready; I didn't want to walk in on her half naked, not right now, that would be too awkward. I mentally kicked myself; not right now, that last thing I needed was these stupid feelings controlling my thoughts and making me think like that. Still, when I made it back to my room, I knocked.
"Come in!" I pushed it open to find Jade already lying in my bed, covers pulled up to her chin like she was trying to hide.
"Pink?" She raised an eyebrow at my choice of night wear and I just rolled my eyes, crossing the room to grab a blanket and a couple of cushions, which I chucked on the floor to form some sort of bed.
"Vega." Jade had been silently watching what I was doing; I could feel her eyes on me even though I wasn't looking at her and only turned when she said my name.
"What?"
She stared for a second then just shrugged. I rolled my eyes again and dropped to the floor, pulling the blanket over my legs as I made my makeshift bed.
"Wait." She said softly "Tori."
I lay on my side and propped myself up on my elbow, my chin resting in my palm to look up at her. "Yeah?"
"Will you..." She paused, biting her lip. "Um..." I saw her shift back in the bed and pull the corner of the covers back then spoke in a forced casual voice "You can sleep here too, if you want. The floor doesn't look too comfy and it is your bed. It's the least I could do..."
Jade trailed off and I felt stunned for a moment, my heart skipping a beat. I quickly got up, crawling under the covers and keeping as much distance between the two of us as possible, seizing the opportunity before she changed her mind. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it." She mumbled. "... seriously, don't. Tell anyone and I'll kill you."
"Yes, ma'am."
She smiled at me, a genuine smile, before rolling over so she faced the wall. "Night, Vega."
"Night." I rolled over too and couldn't keep the grin off my face as I drifted off.
Xxx
I woke up feeling dazed. The sunlight was flooding in through my thin curtains and for a brief moment I was oblivious to everything, still clinging to the edges of whatever dream I had been having, until I felt a wave of warm breath wash over the back of my neck and slowly realised that there was an arm draped across my waist. I tensed, then relaxed a bit when I remember just who was next to me in bed, Jade had spent the night, but when had she turned around and snuggled up to me? I guess it was instinct to cuddle up to the source of warmth, and I shouldn't be reading more into this, but I couldn't help but enjoy the arm lying lazily over my hip or the cheek pressed to my shoulder. I felt butterflies fluttering where her hand rested on my stomach, the sick strange feeling I got whenever she was around came rushing back and I closed my eyes, just revelling in the moment, enjoying every second it lasted before it was snatched away. Maybe it was taking advantage, and I'd be kicking myself for it later, but I couldn't help myself.
All too soon I felt Jade begin to stir and I quickly pretend I was still asleep; the last thing I wanted was for her to realise I was enjoying the position we were in. She gave a small grunt as she started to wake and her arm was retracted, my stomach feeling cold from the loss. I took this as my cue to move too, rolling onto my back and stretching my stiff limbs as I did every morning.
"Watch it, Vega." Jade growled sleepily, batting my arm away when I almost hit her in the face.
"Oops," I giggled a little. "Sorry."
"Whatever." She grabbed the duvet and pulled it over her, ripping the entire thing from my body and making me shiver.
"Oi! Give that back!" I grinned, trying to jerk the covers back, but Jades grip remained firm, I could hear her chuckling under her breath.
"Be nice!" I whined.
"When am I ever nice to you, Vega?" She said, turning to face me with an evil smirk while pulling the duvet so it was taken fully from me.
That started a mini tug of war game, which I was losing badly, but both of us were giggling happily as we fought over my bedding. When I managed to get a secure hold on the material, I tugged with all of my might, only for Jade to let go, sending me flying backwards off the bed, tumbling to the floor and dragging the covers with me, along with, much to our surprise, Jade, who had gotten tangled up in the sheets and fell with them, landing on top of me with an "Oof!"
Jade slowly propped herself up on her arms to prevent herself from squashing me, straddling my hips as she did so, her face so close to mine and I felt myself blushing bright red as she looked down at me, going breathless that had nothing to do with the landing. I should move and start getting ready for school, but I was paralyzed, trapped beneath the tattooed girl who looked equally as stunned by this as I was.
A reckless urge took over me, spreading like a wild fire, and before I could control it I'd pushed myself up onto my elbows, leaning in to claim her lips with my own. I expected her to pull away, to ask me what the hell I thought I was doing, except none of that happened and it only took a second before she responded, her lips fitting perfectly into a kiss I didn't realise I'd wanted so much, sending sparks through my veins, boiling my blood to an almost unbearable heat.
Her mouth parted a little, I felt a hesitant tongue sweep my bottom lip, requesting entrance which I willingly gave. Her tongue darted between my lips, eagerly exploring my mouth as my tongue did the same to her. I allowed myself to get lost in it, not caring about consequences or how wrong this probably was, although it felt too right to be wrong.
I thought I may burst into flame as she pressed her body closer against me; I couldn't stop the muffled moan that escaped at her touch, my one hand moved from supporting my weight to cup her cheek, deepening the kiss further-
"Tori! Are you awake!"
Reality crashed back down around us in an instant at the sound of my moms call. I mentally cursed; I was really starting to hate people for these interruptions. Jade was quick to jump off me, breathing heavily as she detangling herself from the bed sheets and kicked them across the floor. I lay flat on my back for a moment, closing my eyes to try to get all of my senses back in alignment, feeling like I'd been knocked off balance.
"Tori?" Mom yelled again; I'd somehow forgotten she'd said anything.
"I'm up!" I called, groaning as I got to my feet and began to search the room for fresh clothes.
Jade stood leaning against my desk, staring at the floor until she finally mumbled "I've got nothing clean to wear."
"You can borrow something of mine." I suggested, grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans and tossing them towards her. She pulled a bit of a face, but nodded all the same.
The tension was thick, almost suffocating, in the air as we changed in silence, our backs turned to each other. I was already regretting my actions and I think she was too, it certainly seemed so. Why did I have to be so stupid? We seemed to make an unspoken decision on to talk about what we'd just done, and it had happened all so fast that I wondered if it had all just been a dream. We went downstairs to get some breakfast without a word, the rest of my family were nowhere to be seen, which wasn't unusual. I walked over to the cupboards to get us both some cereal while Jade made a cup of coffee each and we sat at opposite ends of the table as we ate.
"Beck and I broke up." Jade said, completely out of the blue, making me inhale the spoonful of cornflakes I'd just shoved into my mouth.
"What!" I managed to choke out.
She shrugged. "I just thought you'd want to know why I was on the sidewalk last night."
I gawped at her, unable to believe what I was hearing. She was being so nonchalant about it, like breaking up with her long term boyfriend didn't matter at all. It must matter though; otherwise she wouldn't have been in the state I found her in.
"Close your mouth, Vega, unless you want flies with your breakfast." Jade snapped.
I shook my head. "Why?" I asked in a hushed voice, a million reasons already running around my mind, including the impossibility that I was the cause of this.
"It was a mutual decision." She shrugged again, playing with the soggy cereal in her bowl. "And it's been a long time coming. I guess, maybe we were just staying together because it was what we were used to." She sighed. "but, it's for good this time."
Her words turned into a murmur and I wanted to ask her if she was okay with it, if it was because of us, whatever we were. After all, we'd already kissed more than once, kisses that weren't for stage, and what she'd said a week ago... I opened my mouth to express these thoughts, but was stopped by the appearance of Trina, who swiped my cereal right from under my nose.
"Well if you're just going to sit there gaping rather than eating it, you can at least let me have it!" She defended, collapsing on the couch in front of the tv.
Jade gave me a meaningful look that told me not to ask anymore about it and I nodded, glad that Trina had stolen my food because for some reason I no longer felt hungry.
Xxx
School blurred by again; I'd pretty much stopped paying attention before it even started, my head was swimming and too full to process the information the teachers were trying to feed me. It seemed that Beck and Jade had agreed to remain friends as they still hung out in our little group together, chatting normally, if a little awkward at first, but nothing to drastic had changed. It hadn't gone unnoticed, but no one mentioned it, even though the break up attracted a small swarm of girls who seemed to follow Beck through the corridors or sit at the table closest to us, giggling loudly. It was strange to not see Jade jealous of them, or snapping at the girls, instead she just ignored them and I wasn't sure if she was just acting, it was hard to tell.
And I couldn't get this morning off my mind. I wanted to talk to her about it, but at the same time I didn't. I couldn't deny that there was a part of me happy that the infamous couple had split up, it meant Jade was single and- I mentally laughed at where the thought was going. Jade wouldn't want me...but that kiss in my room and the one in the closest... my thoughts were so scrambled I couldn't think straight at all.
I hardily registered the bell ringing, signalling the end of the day until all the students in Sikowitz's classroom got up to leave and the crazy acting teacher dived out of the back door like the room had just be set alight. Everyone was happy, chatting about their plans for the weekend as they walked though the corridors, I dimly heard my friends discussing what they were going to do, but yet again my brain hurt too much to listen. These headaches were coming to frequent, all from over thinking about a certain dark haired girl who stood silently next to Andre, still wearing the clothes I'd let her borrow. Either no one had noticed this, or they didn't want to bring it up, but I was sure none of them knew that Jade had spent the night at mine, not even Cat, who seemed to know everything about the two of us recently.
"Are you coming, Tori?" the little red head asked, bringing about from my own little world.
"Huh?"
"We were thinking of going out this weekend." Andre explained "Maybe not to the beach, after what happened last time."
Everyone agreed, except Cat, who looked at us in confusion "I had a good time!"
"Yeah, but you weren't boiling to death in an RV!" Robbie said "And you didn't drink fish water!"
We ignored him.
"So, any ideas where we can go?" I asked.
"Camping?" Beck suggested with a shrug.
"One time, when my brother went camping, he thought he saw a bear, so he ran into the woods to find it and came back with a pet bumblebee."
We stared blankly at Cat. "Girl, you're crazy!" Rex laughed cruelly. Robbie threw a hand over his mouth, apologising to the girl who hadn't paid any attention to the puppet in the first place.
"Anyway" Andre said, trying to get us back on track. "I don't think camping's such a good idea, I think it's meant to rain this weekend."
With that plan scuppered, we all stood crowded around my locker, each silently thinking of what we could do with a rainy weekend ahead of us. My eyes travelled to Jade, who hadn't spoken the entire time we were there, not even making one of her usual sarcastic comments. She just stood with her arms folded across her chest, looking in the opposite direction to all of us. In fact, she hadn't spoken to me all day, she'd stopped avoiding me all together, but still hadn't bothered to even insult me just once! The girl was beyond confusing and I was beyond confused, it wasn't a good combination. I wanted to get to the bottom of this, but hadn't had a chance.
"Why don't we just go home for now, come up with some plans and we'll talk about it in the morning?" I said after a while and there was a murmur of agreement from the group.
"Right, so that's settled then!" Beck said, clapping his hands together and moving away from the locker he was leaning against. "I will see you guys tomorrow." With that, he left, slowly followed by Andre and Robbie, bidding their goodbyes as they went off in separate directions. That just left me, Cat and Jade, still stood by my locker as I gathered the books I needed for homework.
Cat giggled as she looked between the two of us, grinning from ear to ear.
"What?" Jade spat, glaring at the shorter girl.
Cat just giggled again. "See you at the weekend!" She called before skipping off.
For the first time since this morning, Jade and I looked at each other, both utterly confused. The school had slowly emptied, and now Cat had gone it left just the two of us alone, apparently a situation Jade wasn't too pleased with, as she shifted her weight awkwardly from foot to foot.
"I'm gonna-"
"Jade." I interrupted with a sigh. Now I finally had the opportunity to properly talk to her alone, I wasn't going to let it go. I needed to get to the bottom of this. "Please, can we just talk?"
She looked around, obviously searching for some sort of escape, but I couldn't take it anymore. While she was distracted, I grabbed her wrist, just as she did to me so many times, and hauling her off to the janitor's closet we'd been in so many times before.
"Vega! Get the fuck off me!" She growled, attempting to pull out of my grasp, but I refused to let go until we were safely inside and the door was locked. Why there was a lock on the inside of the closet, I wasn't sure, but it certainly came in handy.
I flicked the light on to find her glaring, her eyes darting all over the place, except at me. For some reason, this prompted me to speak.
"Jade. We need to talk."