It is a little funny in retrospect but one of the things Helen, Jessica, and I had been so paranoid about when we planned out what we were going to do about the Arnold situation is whether he could hear Danny, Lori, and I at my house. After lies and searching and confessing and all that drama it turned out he never could hear us, at least not with bugs placed inside the house. Vampire worry warts and 'keep the secret' paranoia. All a lot of needless drama.
We can now hear everything at his house. Way, way, WAY too much of everything. There is irony in here someplace.
Getting the bugs into Romney's house had been easy. Jessica confirmed via 'burner' phone to Helen that Arnold was watching her from the parking lot. She could see him out the window of the 'Nightwing', sitting in the marina parking lot in his squad car. While that asshole watched Jessica, Helen went to his house, picked the lock, and planted bugs. If it had looked as if Arnold was going to leave before Helen was done, they planned to have Jessica walk topless out onto the deck.
I did not get a vote on that plan.
Jessica preferred to not do that for so many reasons and she did not need to. She stayed inside the cabin looking through the tinted window at the cruiser, and only occasionally went outside for a few moments to look like she was doing some project or the other on the afterdeck. That kept Arnold glued to the spot.
Arnold got this close to Jessica and no closer. His Juice induced internal conflicts must be massive. Without me there as a trigger to violent action, he idled away, burning the departments gas.
It came as no surprise to me that Helen knows how to pick locks. There is probably a session for it at Conclave. I imagine it is titled 'B&E for the Vampires. Part of the Ongoing Series for Keeping Humans in the Dark' and the session is led by a 1000-year-old locksmith. One who said things like "Locks used to be easy back in the day..."
Conclaves sound really interesting. Information exchange and Vampire socialization: Maybe more about socialization with a thin coating of oral history. I am interested in the idea of a Vampire presenting on something like "What it was really like sailing on the Mayflower" or "Archimedes and Me: The Lever Was Really My Idea". Something like that. All that actual eye witness experience.
The hot tub parties in the evenings are apparently the main event. What exactly happens in them has never been exactly described, although allusions to drunken debauchery at Vampire scale have been made. Helen said they are full of naked Vampire women. Neither Helen nor Jessica would say more, so what goes on at a hot tub party stays at a hot tub party.
I like Bacchanalian festivities as much as the next card-carrying hedonist. Pre-Jessica, I would have been very interested: Post Jessica me: Not so interested. For all I know, Jessica would strip off and dive head first into the nearest pile of receptive arms and legs. We have no exclusive arrangement. When you live as long as a Vampire, perhaps the very idea of a committed relationship is either foreign or at least a very different thing than the human version. Jessica mentioned the swath she cut through the human men. Helen has a much longer list.
Living thousands of years has to change things. Helen mentioned that Vampires are mostly Polyamorous, but I am not sure what that means exactly. Do Vampires love lots of people? Vampires settle down in group families? I have no idea.
It is a couple of years before the next NorthAM Conclave, set for Toronto. Thinking positively, it would be right after I got off 'parole' before I have a chance to check one out.
Sigh. Hot tub parties are a more interesting topic to think about than listening to Arnold's life for sure.
Listening devices don't listen all the time. Not the kind we have anyway. If they did, you'd hear nothing but white noise most of the recording. That would eat up the batteries quickly as well. Our little bugs only record things when they hear noises above the ambient sound level. This includes useless things like bathroom noises (and I really did not need to hear those), loading and unloading the dishwasher, doors opening and closing. Simple outbursts when the toe is stubbed or pizza is dropped or the beer foams over the glass (how do you reach the age that Romney is, drink as much as he does, and not know how to pour a beer? What a Maroon.). All sorts of trivial noises from a man who lives alone. Noises that wasted a lot of our time listening to them.
Our 'noise reels' came to us in a tiny package a week after Helen planted the bugs. They were consolidated on a little solid state memory chip and sorted by a bug number and a date. We had an index that said bug number three is in the kitchen, bug four in the living room, bug five in the bathroom and so on. In early voting bug number five is everyone's least favorite although at least we know that Arnold takes a shower every day. He may be a creep, but at least he is a clean one.
It takes an amazing amount of time to listen to these things. There is a reason why we did not find bugs in my place or on the boat. Arnold would never have the time. Bugs are a pain in the ass. Amazingly boring.
It took two-and-a-half days to work our way through the recordings. My household met on the evening of the third to discuss what we heard. I cooked: The least I could do.
Before we started I looked around outside to make sure we were not being spied on from afar.
Lori wiggled a finger in her ear and started "I am a nurse, and I have to say that if I never hear another human being pass gas, it will be too soon. I have no idea what this guy eats, but it can't be good for him."
Danny chimed in brightly "Would it break cover too much to anonymously send him a case of Bean-O?"
I shook my head 'no'. "I wish."
"I supposed killing is out too?" Danny asked, not seriously.
I thought to myself 'If it was in, we would not be doing this and you guys would have never known about any of it.'
Lori told Danny: "There are all sorts of ways to kill someone that can't be traced and are not violent. I'd be glad to do some research and get back on that."
I had to smile."One week of listening to the personal details of one mans life, and we are reverting to cavemen."
Danny disagreed "I wanted the guy dead before all this, because of what he did to you, and the invisible-but-present Jessica." He glanced at the empty place setting. The Negra Modelo bottle sat at its designated place at the table. Danny continued "Killing him would be evolution in action. Cleaning up the gene pool. Putting an animal in misery to a merciful end."
Even though we were not being serious, I had to dissent. "I do not think I could kill a person, not even Arnold Romney, not even after all the things he has done to me and is doing to me. Sorely tempting as it is. I wish I could, but I could not live with myself after. Besides, there is the issue of killing an officer of the law. You really don't want the entire police force coming after you even if they secretly agreed and thought that offing Arnold should have been done ages ago. However we get rid of Arnold, it has to be in such a way that the county PD does not start a manhunt. Worse, if they hired Morgan Olsen to figure it out. We'd be dead meat."
"Morgan works for your brother: would she take a cop gig?" Danny asked.
"Morgan is like Don. If they think the case is righteous, they take it." I said. "Also, Morgan used to BE a cop, so she'd really want a cop killer brought down."
"Yeah: never mind." Danny said. "After listening to these bugs, Arnold doesn't scare me, but Don says about Morgan? Nope. No way."
Lori spoke around chewing a bite of organic grass-fed hamburger, cooked between medium and medium rare. "They'd only go looking if they thought it was foul play. Finding this guy dead with untraceable poison would probably just be attributed to natural causes."
Danny said "Dudette: I had no idea you were this bloodthirsty. It's so... sexy. Civilization really is just a veneer."
Lori just stuck out her tongue.
I asked "Dudette?"
Lori threw Danny a look. "He knows I hate that. I guess because I am a girl I am not supposed to be the most bloodthirsty one here."
That is funny at so many levels that I could not talk about. They never met Helen.
I said instead "Jessica is far more comfortable with violence than I am. If you tell her about your untraceable poisons, she might pull the trigger on the idea. Still, I'd rather have that be Plan B. Or C. Even plan Y. Also neither you nor Jessica knows Morgan, so you do not have the proper fear in you about how good SHE is. Also: remind me never to get on your bad side."
"You need a reminder? " Lori asked innocently.
I surrendered quickly "No. I think I can remember, actually. However, you and Helen really need to meet."
Danny helped himself to some more onion rings, and changed the subject away from wishful thinking, saying "Other than the daily noises: You know, the shower running and all that other... stuff, I have not really heard anything useful. Arnold does not seem to talk to anyone from his house."
"I heard half of a phone call." Lori said. "He mostly said stuff like 'Hello?' 'Yeah.' 'Sure.' 'Got it.' 'See you there.' Really useless."
"When was that one?" I asked
"Yesterday morning, before he left for work."
"I had one like that the evening before. Same kind of one and two word responses. He also said 'How big is the shipment'. All this listening work and those few words are probably going to be the big payoff. We may need to start following him and see where he goes. By we, I mean Jessica and Helen. Our job is to sit here and look like fat, juicy, uninvolved civilians."
Lori gestured with her partial eaten burger "We keep strapping on the feedbag like this, the fat and juicy part will be no problem."
"I made a salad." I said defensively. I pointed at the mostly empty bowl in the center of the table.
"Sure. Organic hamburgers or chef salad with homemade blue cheese dressing. Which do you choose? Neither! Eat them both till they are all gone..."
Danny said "You are kinda skinny. Not that I'm complaining mind you. You are still yummy."
Lori gave him a look. "Me? Skinny? You are insane. It won't matter after too many more meals like these in any case." She protested, but she was not unhappy about Danny's assessment of her physicality.
"Well, I had one more sound I wanted to talk about if we could. I promise to quit making so much food for dinner, Lori." Which really meant I would be making myself a pre-dinner meal. My appetite is still pretty high. I guess the little bugs are still working hard on the human-to-Vampire remodel.
Lori look chagrined "Sorry. I did not mean to sound like I was complaining. You are a good cook, and it is nice to come home to a home-cooked meal. If I was not with this goof, and you with the invisible woman, I'd marry you just for your cooking."
I reassured her "Nice! Good to know. I did not think of it as complaining. Just feedback. I am terrible at portion control."
Danny asked, "So, your sound?"
"The long sniffing one. You hear it? Like he is doing lines?"
Both nodded yes.
"Several times." Lori said
"On the kitchen bug." Danny added.
"Yeah. Me too. Kitchen bug. I think that is him doing the meth." I said.
Lori gestured at both of us. "We all heard it so he does it a great deal: Sounds like this is how he starts his day. He is a full on speed freak. Maybe Coke of course, but you said there was something about Meth..."
I nodded agreement. "That's what I think too. This is abuser, not user territory here. It explains a few things. Adds some credence to our theory of why he is as erratic as he is."
Danny asked, "Did you guys hear any of the night he brought the woman home?"
Lori looked aghast "A woman came home with him? Jesus!"
"I know he talks them up when he has them pulled over." I said, added "But no, I have not heard anything other than Arnold. Is there something of use there?"
"Nothing really came up when they talked that is about the current problem. I have no idea who she is. Arnold never said her name. If he referred to her, it was all insults, but she never took them personally it seemed."
Danny stopped, finished with his recounting. Lori prodded "So, what happened?"
"Nothing good." He looked a little sick. "I knew, intellectually, that there is such a thing as a person who likes to be abused, and a person who likes to abuse, and these two are made for each other. It was sick."
"You listened to that right before bed last night, didn't you?" Lori asked
"Yes." Danny nodded.
"Well, that explains some things." Lori looked peeved.
Danny blushed deeply, which given his complexion, is saying something. "Yeah. Sorry. The recording was really REALLY gross. I mean, Jesus. Who does that kind of stuff? Other than them I mean..."
Lori shook her head. "You get any more like that, you give those to Adrian or me to listen to." When Danny looked about to protest, Lori added very forcefully "Danny: I mean it! I work hard all day. When I come home to my lover, I want him or her to be in working order. Him for the foreseeable future. I have needs, damn it! I did not want the night off last night. You owe me. Don't make me fuck the cook, mister. Apparently, the cooks significant other is an Amazon and might hurt me."
I chimed in "Might as well hand them off Danny. I have no use for that kind of thing either, but it's not like I'm getting laid any time soon..."
I miss Jessica in a way that hurts. I miss everything about her.