Chapter 12
Direction
"And we've arrived at the place of my greatest nightmare..." I said as I maneuvered the car on our company's driveway.
The valet immediately approached my car that's on its way and when I halted the car, he run towards my side to open the door.
"Good afternoon, Miss Saavedra." he politely greeted me, bowing his head as a sign of courtesy.
Napangiti naman ako. Kahit hindi ako palapunta dito ay kilala pa rin ako ng mga nagt-trabaho rito sa kompanya.
Well, of course they should know the future president of the company that they're working at.
"Thank you, handsome." I handed him my car keys and winked at him before going out of the car.
The valet looked stunned because of the name I called him. His name's not handsome. I can cleary see his name tag with his name written on it, but I didn't mind. Well, he's really handsome. Not obscenely handsome, but still handsome.
Kita ko namang napailing si Selena habang papalabas sa aking sasakyan.
"I don't know what's happening to you anymore, Xy." she told me. "Hindi ko alam kung talagang gusto mo bang pumunta dito."
Nginitian ko naman siya. "Of course, I want to be here!" I exclaimed. "And that's because I want to leave Brendt's company as soon as possible, be free and claim what's mine to begin with. This is also for my Mom... Alam mo naman 'yon. Kahit itong pamamahala man lang sa kompaniyang pinaghirapan niya rin ay gusto kong alagaan."
"Just remember to always control yourself, Xy. Hindi magandang makita ng mga empleyado that you have a high temper and can be easily pissed off." paalala sa akin ni Selena.
"Basta huwag lang umapila si Tiffany ay paniguradong magiging maayos ang usapan namin." sabi ko naman.
The moment we stepped inside the company's lobby, people who know us, started to greet me and Selena.
Our company is where Selena works that's why mostly all the employees here know her. While me, they know me because I'm the daughter of the owner of this company.
I stopped walking and darted my eyes to our old family picture that is displayed here in the lobby. I bit my lower lip when I see the face of my mother smiling and staring at me through the picture.
This is what you want, Mom, right? Don't worry. I won't let you down. I promise.
"Siya iyong totoong anak ni Sir Saavedra!" rinig kong sabi ng isang empleyadong nadaanan namin.
"Talaga?" nagtatakang tanong ng kausap nito. "Ang akala ko, si Ma'am Tiffany ang anak niya dahil siya ang nagmana ng kompanya."
Kumunot naman ang aking noo sa narinig. She must be a new employee that's why she doesn't know who I am.
"Siya ang anak ni Sir sa kaniyang unang asawa tapos si Ma'am Tiffany ay anak lang ng bagong asawa ni Sir ngayon..." kwento niya at hindi ko na masiyadong narinig ang iba pa niyang sinabi dahil nakalayo na kami ni Selena.
Who gave them the right to spill everything about our family?
"Hindi naman sila masiyadong tsismosa no?" sarkastiko kong pagtanong kay Selena.
She chuckled. "Ganiyan lang talaga sila. Parang hindi mo naman alam." sabi niya. "Natural na sa mga Pilipino ang pagiging tsismoso o tsismosa, lalo na ang mga babae."
The elevator clanged at the floor where Selena's department is located.
"Just text or call me if you're going home already." she told me before stepping out of the elevator.
Bago pa sumarado muli ang pintuan sa elevator ay hinarap pa ako ni Selena para ngitian ako. I know that she wants to encourage me through her smile.
Nang makarating ako sa tamang palapag ay dire-diretso ang lakad ko patungo sa opisina ng CEO. Some employees are greeting me and I'm just giving them a quick smile as a sign of respect for their greeting.
The secretary outside the office immediately stood up when she saw me approaching.
"Good afternoon, Ma'am." she greeted me politely.
I smiled at her and made my way inside the office without even knocking.
I saw Tiffany busily typing something on her laptop while reading some paperworks at the same time. Natigil lamang siya nang mag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin.
Her eyes slightly widened in surprise. She's not expecting me to be here. She even stood up her swivel chair.
"X-Xylia!" she exclaimed my name, so flustered. "What brings you here?"
"Where's Dad?" I asked her.
"Uhm... I believe that he's still at the executive lounge." she answered me.
"Okay. Thanks." I coldly said and turned my back.
I was about to leave when she called me again.
"Xylia." she said.
"Bakit?" walang ganang sabi ko at muli siyang tinignan.
She bit her lower lip. "When I went at Brendt's unit... when you were there at the same floor where he's staying, did you visit him? Or... did you... did you sleep there?"
I tilted my head to the side and stared at her. She looks like she wants to know the truth and at the same time, she also doesn't want to know.
Ano ba talagang gusto mo, Tiffany?
Do you want me to tell you the truth that I've spent a night with the man you like? Or lie to you so that you will be relieved?
With all those thoughts, I smiled at her, trying to piss her more. "It's none of your business." I told her.
"That's what you also told me when I asked you before." her voice slightly became louder. "I wanna know, Xy! I wanna know why you were there! I wanna know which unit you came from! You were still wearing the same dress you wore during Mom and Dad's wedding, meaning that you slept there. So please, Xylia. Tell me the truth! Answer me!" she became hysterical, trying to find everything out.
"You want to know the truth?" nanggigigil kong tanong sa kaniya. "Yes! I slept at Brendt's unit. I slept with him. Now, are you satisfied? Are fucking satisfied with my answer?!"
Hindi ko namalayan na nakalapit na pala siya sakin. Naramdaman ko nalang ang pagsampal niya sakin na kasabay ng pagtulo ng kaniyang luha.
"Tiffany! Xylia!" the door flew open and it withdrew Dad.
Rinig ko rin ang mabilis niyang pagsara sa pinto at sa pagpindot nito sa lock.
None of us cared for Dad's presence.
Tiffany's still glaring at me like she's ready to go on war with me for Brendt.
"Pwede mong gawing miserable ang buhay ko. You can hurt me for the sake of my mother's happiness." she said. "But please, huwag mo namang agawin sa akin si Brendt... Huwag si Brendt."
Kinagat ko ang labi ko upang makatulong sa pagpipigil ng aking luha na tumulo. I stared at her intently.
"Hindi ako ang nang-agaw, Tiffany." mariin kong sabi. "I saw him first! I met him first! And besides, hindi naman kayo diba? Kaya sino ang inagaw ko sa'yo? Wala dahil hindi naman siya sa'yo. Hindi naman kayo! Kung mayroon mang mang-aagawa dito, ikaw yun! Kayo 'yon ng Mommy mo! Parehas kayo ng Mommy mong mang-aagaw—"
My mouth was completely shut when I felt a strong slap on my face. It's more painful than what I've received from Tiffany earlier because this time, it's my Dad who did it.
Halatang nagulat din si Tiffany sa ginawang pagsampal sa akin ni Daddy.
This is how Dad chose you all instead of me. Isa ito sa mga ebidensya na hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan. He can physically hurt me because I hurt his new family verbally.
Tears escaped from my eyes because of the big slap that I literally had.
"Wow..." iyon nalang ang tanging nasabi ko sa sobrang sakit ng iginawad niyang sampal sa akin.
"A-Anak..." marahan na sambit ni Daddy at umambang hahawakan ako sa braso ngunit agad akong umatras upang iiwas ang sarili sa kaniya. "Xylia, anak, I'm sorry..."
"Sorry nanaman ba, Daddy?" I cried out loud. "Lagi naman eh! You always say that you're sorry everytime you hurt me but you're not doing anything to prove to me that you're really sorry; to make your apology worth accepting."
Is this already the extent of my worth to my Dad? Do I really mean less to him than his new family? Does the love he shared with my Mom, the reason why I came into this world, not important to him anymore?
"Why do you always choose them instead of me?" I can't stop myself from crying. "Bakit lagi nalang ako yung naisasantabi mo para sa kanila? Bakit laging kailangan ako ang masaktan at hindi sila? Do I really mean nothing to you?"
Umiling-iling at lalapit sana sa akin ng muli akong umatras palayo. "No, Xy. Don't think that way..." he said. "It's not like that."
"'Daddy, ako yung tunay na anak mo eh! Ako yung tunay na pamilya mo! Yung una't tunay na pamilyang binuo niyo ni Mommy. Ako yung nandoon at hindi sila." sinusubukan kong ipaalala sa kaniya kung sino at ano ako sa buhay niya dahil mukha talagang nakalimutan niya na. "Ako yun eh... Kami yun ni Mommy pero lahat nang yun, nawala nung dumating sila. Noong dumating sila, nawala na ang lahat ng binuo niyo ni Mommy. Lahat non, pinalitan na nila."
Paulit-ulit na umiiling si Daddy. He's also shedding his tears but it's nothing compared to what I shed.
How many times have I thought that I should've just died with Mommy? Namatay nalang din sana ako kung ganito lang ang mangyayari sa akin. Nothing went right in my life. Lahat nalang mali. I never did something right ever since Mom died.
My life completely lost its direction. The only one who can guide me through the right path, left me and let me wander on my own. The reason why I never find the right path again. The reason why my life's being miserable right now.
"Xy, please... Listen to me..." nagsusumamong sabi niya. "I'll make it up to you."
"Bakit, 'ddy?" my voice cracked. "Ni minsan ba, pinakinggan niyo ko? Ni minsan ba, nakinig kayo sakin? Binigyang importansya mo po ba ang mga sinasabi ko sa inyo? Hindi naman diba?" I sarcasticaly said.
"I don't want to be the daughter you're just going to throw away to give way for your new daughter and wife." I told him. "I know I'm worth more than just that, Dad... So please, help me realize my worth when I'm still trying. Because if not..." I shook my head.
I just really don't know what to do anymore.