i felt so alone and i didn't like it. at all. i wasn't alone though, and that's what hurt.
i had fire. i had my brothers. i had all of the guys in why don't we. but who i didn't have was abby. not anymore.
sitting up, a tear slips down my cheek. i stand up and go to my dresser, placing a hand on top of the silver box that sat atop it.
"i realized i need you here," i whisper, "as desperate as that sounds."
i couldn't look away from the box that held my best canine friends ashes. and i couldn't stop the tears that fell.
my other hand clutches onto the necklace i wore. it held a small portion of her ashes. that way she was always with me.
my eyes closed and i sent a silent prayer, telling god that i hoped he was taking care of abby for me.
"kitty, do you want to-" corbyn says, pushing my door open, "oh."
i open my eyes and look at him, keeping both hands where they were.
"i know you miss her. but she's still here, remember? she's always here." corbyn reassures me, walking over.
he wraps his arms around me and gently pulls me away from the ashes.
i bury my face in his chest and cry, i couldn't help it. grief and loss and loneliness was hitting too hard.
i knew she'd always be here, even if it wasn't physically. but a part of my mind wouldn't register that, nor would it register the fact that she was really gone. it felt like a part of my heart had been ripped out, stomped on, and thrown away.
losing something that meant so much to you will ruin you, and you won't feel okay for a long, long time. you shouldn't, though. you can't just forget.