It's the second time I wake up with Liam's arms wrapped around me and when I slowly turn over, I am met with the most serene and handsome face that would make anyones tummy flutter with joy. I really do like him and I really can't explain why, I mean we are polar opposites so it doesn't make sense, but maybe that is exactly why. They do say that opposites attract and I personally never understood such a saying. I always thought that two people should share the same interests, have similar goals in life, something that connects them, but with me and Liam, we have none of those things.
I longingly gaze upon his beautiful face tempted to touch him, touch all the contours of his features, wanting to explore his entire body but I know full well, I'm not ready for that and I don't even know if I ever could have something like that with him. At the back of my mind I still have doubts and trust issues with him and I don't know if I could ever get over that. He has done some atrocious things to girls in the past and potentially I could be his next victim. He says he likes me and I believe him, but the question is, how much and how long for, before he gets bored of me and moves onto the next. I push those negative thoughts back and I want to focus on the now.
I stroke his face gently, not wanting to wake him up and he stirs under my touch. I immediately pull my hand away, scared that he might wake up thinking I'm creepy for watching him and touching him while he sleeps, but instead he pulls me closer to him and mumbles something that makes my heart crumble, "Don't leave me!"
He must be dreaming of his mother and my heart aches for him, so I snuggle a little closer to him, wrapping my tiny arms around him, wanting to protect him from his own dreams. How could a mother leave their child behind and never see them again, the thought alone is abhorrent to me, not to mention his father who I understand is hurt by his wife's betrayal, but to take it out on his only son, beating him black and blue for years is just wrong on so many levels.
I'm no different though, without really knowing him, I was ready to play a nasty game of revenge with him. The guilt is eating me alive and I remove myself from our embrace, needing to create some space between us. I slowly sneak out of my bed, climbing down, I grab my cell-phone and leave the room. I need to phone Jemma and call things off, but before that I want to speak to Sydney, she knows whats going on and maybe she can advise me about Liam and whether I should give him a chance and see where things go.
As I quietly go down the stairs, my two brothers walk in through the front door and they look like shit. They must be hangover and something else as their eyes are red and blotchy, their clothes are all shrivelled up and their hair is a complete mess. SHIT!!! Liam is in my bed and if they see him coming out of my room all hell is going to break loose. Shit, shit and SHIT!!!
"Morning!" I say nervously and turn on my heels to go back upstairs. "Stop right there!!!" My brother Derick says and then Travis speaks:
"I heard you made an appearance at the party last night!" He says glaring at me. I'm so dead. "Yes but it wasn't really my scene so I left soon after I arrived!" I lie and hope to god himself that they believe me. "Bullshit!" my brother Derick said and then continued:
"I heard you had a good time playing drinking games and making out with some fucker!" He says to me in disgust. Whoah, I didn't make out with that groper, I think to myself. "who told you that? I didn't make out with him we just danced!", I say in my defence, but by the look on both their faces, I think I just made things worse. "Who's T-shirt is that then?" They both question me at the same time. FUCK, FUCK and FUCK!!! I have no answer for that and all I can think of is to make a dash for my room and lock myself in. I take one small step backwards but my back hits something hard. Could this day get any worse, I think to myself, closing my eyes and preparing myself for the worse. I don't even dare look back, because I already know who the hard surface belongs to.
"It's mine!" Liam tells them nonchalantly. I open my eyes and my brothers look like they are ready to kill their best friend. Their stance is threatening and the trembling fists are a dead give-away. I lift my hand up to stop them and say,"Liam took me home because I got drunk and was feeling sick. He lent me his t-shirt and looked after me all night. Nothing happened so both of you chill!", I shout and can't believe how quickly I came up with that lie and I'm actually a little surprised with myself. They both instantly relax and start raving on how I shouldn't have been at a party, that it is never to happen again etcetera. When I look back at Liam, thinking that we got away with it, I notice that he is glaring at me. Is he not happy? What did I do wrong, I was trying to protect him, does he not realise that? "Hey!!! are you listening to me?!", my brother Travis shouts at me snapping me out of my thoughts. "Yes!", I say slumping my shoulders and looking to the ground, like some small child that has been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"Good!", he says smugly and then it hits me, I'm not a child and I didn't do anything wrong. I'm fucking seventeen years old and I went to a party, so bloody what! "You know what? I'm not ok with this, I'm seventeen and you two are not my father!", I shout back surprising them both, but I'm not done. "If I want to go to a party, I will and you can't stop me and just for the record, unlike you guys I'm the responsible one here, whereas you two, fuck around, get drunk and do drugs!" I'm so livid now, that I let it all out. "You lot piss me off, thinking that you can command me in this way, that I should do whatever you tell me and comply, well FUCK THAT!!! If you have a problem with my lifestyle, well its your problem, not mine, so fuck all three of you!" I storm up the stair and say one last thing:
"Oh and by the way, If I want a boyfriend, I will and I will fuck him too if I feel like it!", and with that, I was done, slamming my door for dramatic effect and locking myself in. They all pissed me off, Liam for being angry at me for god knows what reason and my brothers for being too much. I understand they want to protect me, I let it slide for years, but enough is enough, I'm not a child anymore. I'm nearly eighteen and I have had no experiences with boys, parties and relationships, whereas all the girls I know have. I liked being at that party and I will go to another one given the chance and this time I will stay for the duration whether they are there or not.
I grab some clean clothes and underwear, then quietly head to the bathroom to have a shower. I don't want to see any of them and I need to get out of this house ASAP. I shower really quickly and once done I brush my teeth, then get dressed. I sneak back to my room, grabbing the jacket Sydney lent me, my keys and phone and tip toe down the stairs. I can hear them in the living room playing some video game and I know that they are too distracted to pay attention to me leaving the house. Once out the door I grab my phone and call Sydney, "Hello?" she says sounding really tired, "Hi, it's me!" I say and continue, "Can I come over?" I ask. "Sure, you were supposed to be here anyway and I have your bag!" she reminds me. I thank her, hang up and pick up the pace to get to her house.
I got to Sydneys house and I filled her in on everything that happened between me and Liam last night and what happened between me and my brothers this morning. Her reaction is that of shock and disapproval, she really hates Liam and doesn't trust him one bit, as for the way I spoke to my brothers, she applauded me saying it ways about time I put them in their place. With Liam she just wasn't happy one bit, but if she knew about his history between him and his parents, maybe she would feel differently, but I can't tell her any of that, Liam trusted me enough to tell me in confidence and I would never betray someone with their private lives secrets.
She paced her room up and down, every now and then turning to look at me. She stops and then says, "You can't trust him!", and I slump on her bed in disappointment. I know she's right, but deep down, deep, deep down I feel that I can, well a little bit. "Nichole, your my best friend and I'd love nothing more than to see you have a boyfriend, but not him! He will play with your innocence, use you and he will break your heart!" She tells me with a worried look on her face and I know she means well. She carries on moaning that I'm definitely being played and that I need to wake up and smell the coffee but I can't help how I feel, I want to believe him. Then she stands in front of me with an evil grin plastered on her face, looks down at me and says, "On second thoughts, you should become is girlfriend!" She says all of a sudden and I look at her confused and a little suspicious. She then says with a devious smile on her face,"We can use this to our advantage, we can play him. The good girl plays the player", she says and I really don't like where this conversation is going."You will be a Legend! think about it, he gets played by the virgin, he will never be able to live it down!" She says jumping up and down in excitement and I shake my head telling her No, "I already told you, I don't want to hurt him and I can't and I have my reasons!", I tell her flatly. She gets annoyed with me, telling me that I'm being naive and that he is not worth my kindness, but she doesn't know what he went through, nobody does.
"A lot of girls were counting on you to pull this off, you were doing so well with the pranks and now he has you wrapped around his little finger after telling you some sweet crap!" She says shaking her head in disappointment. Wait a minute, how many girls know about this? It was supposed to be me, Sydney, Jemma and Grace the girl that I promised to keep it a secret. "Who have you told?!" I whisper shout in disbelief and she just shrugged her shoulders saying, "Word gets around!" and I am now the one to get angry. "This was supposed to be a secret and now with god knows how many people knowing, he's bound to find out and I don't want him to!" I say feeling betrayed. "Relax, so what if he finds out, he deserves a bit of payback and you will be a legend!" She says with a grin on her face. She just doesn't get it, "I really like him Syd, I don't want to be a legend and I don't want to hurt him. I'm not going to go through with any of it and I'm telling Jemma and Grace the same thing too!", I say angrily. "Do what you want then, but don't come running to me, when he breaks your heart and trust me he will!" She shoots back venomously at me and I have to admit, hearing my best friend speak to me like this hurts a lot. I grab my things, holding back my tears and leave without so much as a second glance.
When I get back home, I head straight for my bedroom and lock myself in, not wanting to see or deal with anyone. Today has been too much drama and I have no one to blame but myself, I started this and now I regret it. I lay down on my scattered cushions letting out a heavy sigh and say, "one day I'll have to tell him".
"Tell who what?", an all too familiar voice says from my bed above.
Who do you think is in the bedroom with her and how will she answer? I'm very excited to do the next chapter but will be a bit busy this week, so please be patient and I will try my best to keep the updates coming as often as I can, provided I don't get writers block.
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Love you all xxx