Jessica and I relaxed in the living room after a quick run to the grocery store and a little local bookstore / coffee shop. We stocked up on food and books, including a few graphic novels. Jessica was reading a new 'Batman' that recently came out. I had a Vampire book. I have never read a Vampire graphic novel. Gory. I put that one down, and picked up'"Vampirella' and read that.
I waved the Vampirella graphic book to show it to Jessica. "Please tell me that the only thing that is true in these Vampire books is that you spend a great deal of time wearing next to nothing style outfit's."
Jessica gave a derisive laugh. "Please. As if. Besides, I'm naked when we are not outdoors, at least most of the time. You do seem to prefer that. Most of that book or any Vampire fiction is either made up by humans or is misdirection by Vampires seeded over the last few centuries. We may not allow real records to be kept about us, but we do write stories and put them out if it serves a purpose. Vampire Truthiness."
I tossed the book aside and looked Jessica over, head to toe. "I do prefer you naked. It's true. I never met anyone before that takes what I want into that much account."
Jessica shrugged "Doing something for someone else that has practically no cost to one's self is not generosity. For me, not having to wear clothes is a blessing. When I was born, women's clothing was not comfortable." She looked down and made a sort of presenting gesture. "You cannot have a shape like mine and be happy in restrictive clothing. Fashion does not always favor a curvy lady. Women's clothes are better now than they used to be, but being undressed is better still. I do not need clothes to stay warm. I would not be au naturel around a man I have not slept with unless I was trying to provoke something. For all my Vampire life being naked around a man meant some blood, some sex that was not always great, and then a 'see you later'. Not counting a few sex clubs along the way I went to with a friend that were fun. There is almost no part of me you have not explored, often and in detail. Wearing clothes around you would not make you want me less. You may in fact not be a Vampire. You might be a Horndog."
"Guilty. Don't fool yourself: I want to explore you much more than I have, but you are distracting me."
A smile. "Sorry. You had a question?"
"Tell me more about the real us." I held up the two graphic novels "The stuff not in here, or is wrong in here."
Jessica settled in. "Ok. No one knows when we first emerged as a separate species though of necessity it must be a long time ago. The fossil record is sparse. Add in the way minerals swap around as part of fossilization and some of the bones could be Vampire. We followed the human evolutionary line, given how we are born or if your prefer 'made'. There are no Vampire great Apes. Like there is SIV and HIV, what infects us does not seem to infect Apes. Not that I have had sex with many Apes; just a few humans that acted like them."
"Was that fun?" I had to ask.
"Sometimes. Depended on my mood at the time. I used to favor a more macho type of male lover. Recently I have decided I like a nicer, gentler flavor. Anyway: Most vampires do not live beyond 2000 or 3000 years, because they get bored or have an accident. We think we can live a great deal longer. Not forever, but longer. Oldest Vampire I ever met still looked like she was about twenty-five. Still, use 2000 years as an average, in 5 lifetimes that long, you are back before written history. In fifteen lifetimes, you are back at the beginning of modern humans. That's not what a vampire generation is though. Vampires are created continuously."
I nodded "There is probably more truth to the Vampire legends than human ones. A story going through three Vampire generations to get through 5000 years is likely to be far more accurate than a story going through 500 human generations over that same time."
"Exactly right." Jessica agreed
"Also mind-boggling."
"That too. I am almost one hundred years older than you, but I am extremely young for a Vampire. Once I got serious about it I have achieved much, but there are many Vampires far older than me that have forgotten more entire professions than I know. Our brains add memory capacity over time to deal with our long lives, but there are limits to what our skull can hold, even with the metallicity, lengthened dendrites, denser neurons and the way some things are redistributed. Skills and knowledge are less organic for us than for humans, but we always have to update. Always have to practice. Keeps life interesting, and makes sure we are always fresh on the latest things. I am a Medical Doctor, and that means I always have to update. New things are discovered all the time. New drugs invented."
I changed the subject. "Be straight with me. How bad is it being a male in a largely female species?"
That got a shrug. "How would I know? I'm female. You noticed that before. Short memory. Maybe male memory is more organic than female."
I was slightly impatient with that answer and I let her have it with both verbal barrels. "You are the most attractive woman I have ever met and a goddess in bed. When evolution designed you, it took all my personal preferences into account. I plan to worship at the altar of you as often as you permit it. Your mind and your body are of the gods." I stated this as the simple facts they are. Not even a hint of flirtation.
Jessica's raised her eyebrows at the blowback. I went on. "I did not forget about your glory. I would not. I cannot. Please don't dance around this. I want to know how second class I suddenly am now. I get the idea that my best days are behind me. That slightly overweight computer geek and SciFi nerd was the pinnacle of my social existence. That it is all downhill from here. External existence: Not counting the privileged but private altar boy at the temple of Jessica. No robes required."
Jessica did want to be cornered about this and looked unhappy. "It's not like you guys are being hunted and killed or anything...Unless the council decides that you are a risk, and then they kill you. Right away. Once a male Vampire is granted, and then successfully serves out their evaluation period they are full members of the species. What is called probation, although I dislike that term. Post-probation you have all the same responsibilities as any other Vampire. Males are expected to not feed off a human woman. Use blood from blood banks. Feed from human men if so inclined. Or other Vampires. Not human women. If you abuse your power over a human woman that is very looked down upon. Do NOT go on a fucking humans spree while you are on probation. A double standard I just now snapped to. Post probation you have to set up alternate identities and be ready to go anywhere on the planet at any time if needed to hide what you are. Just as any woman of our kind."
I asked a question that has been bugging me. "These few Vampire males around... They end up married?"
"Not often. Vampires tend to be Poly. You assume they are all heterosexual..."
"No, I wasn't. I said 'married'. I did not mean to imply married to a woman, though perhaps as a heterosexual male it seemed like something I might say? Do not mistake my orientation as being my worldview. I have been to orgies. I have had offers." I was a little offended. I admit.
"Pardon my confusion. I should know you better than that already. OK. The answer is: Some marry. Some later divorce. Many, many more remain single and join poly groups. So: what do Male Vampires do when not looking for love? Just as a woman does, pursue their other interests. Professional sports are out, male or female. Too fast and strong. It's not only an unfair advantage, but it's also the glare of the spotlight and the fact that professional athletes are required to pass medical exams. No Sports. Try out for a major league team? Be erased so fast it would make your head spin, Probation or not. Vamps are doctors, nurses, botanists. Some run the cash registers at the gas station. I know of one that went on a thirty-year bender, and then finally realized that he was not going to be able to stay drunk forever, and went back to school to learn auto mechanics. He's in a pit crew in NASCAR. As close to professional sports as you can get I suppose. One guy, friend of a friend, is a porn star but never lets his face be filmed full on. He calls himself a 'stunt cock'. Porn made for men often involves a preference for not actually seeing anything but the woman, other than the useful boy part. Point of View stuff. Its a great line of work for a Vampire: It pays well. He can't get any human STD's." She looked mock thoughtful. "Might be a good profession for you."
I pointed out "All the female Vampires in the world, and he wastes time with humans? No way they can keep up."
"Valuable in the porn industry, don't you think?" Jessica teased. "Most porn I have seen is about a guy that can last forever, and pound the living shit out of his sex partners, man or woman, various orifices."
"Maybe. I am not an expert on the subject. I prefer the older, more gentle stuff to the new, more violent offerings. I guess it's good there is at least one actor not infecting the actresses. Whatever. What about the Council? Any male's ever on the Council?"
"No." She said firmly.
"Anywhere in the world?"
"No." She repeated.
"Glass ceiling?" I quizzed.
"I suppose. Most men who are Vampires don't seem to care." She looked a little embarrassed.
"Really? Not that I want on the Council: my main ambition revolves around waiting for you to rest up enough to take pity on me and haul me back to bed. Most people have more ambition than I do. I am the least accomplished of my siblings."
"There are so few that perhaps it has never come up." Jessica paused. Considered something. "Just so we are clear, it's not pity I am taking on you. You know I am enjoying every moment of our time together. I could not hide that from you if I tried. You are a very intelligent, pleasant companion that reads graphic novels, as well as a pleasing boy-toy."
"I was hoping the sounds you were making were not of terror." I plowed on. "To the main point about my new lot in life: Any chance no council membership for the Vamp-dudes is because we would get absolutely nowhere?"
She looked helpless. I was sorry about pinning her down like this. Whatever Vamp-world is, she did not make it. "Maybe."
The one-word answers were telling.
"Males are not needed for reproduction." I mused. " 'Baby' Vampires come from humans. There are billions of those tasty morsels standing about waiting to be chomped, so even at the low reproduction rate we are talking about with Vampires, there are going to be plenty of new Vamps."
Jessica agreed "Correct. It is hard enough keeping the big secret as it is. There need only to be enough Vampires to place trusted people into power across society, but no more than are required. The more people in on a secret, the harder it is to keep. Recruiting is not something we do. I came over as an accident: a passionate moment gone awry. Same as you."
"Do you think that the regard for males is in any way affected by the fact that we are not really needed for anything?" I asked that pretty darkly.
"Maybe. Being a female Vampire is very empowering. It means being superior in every physical way. No longer fearing men. There is not a human or Vampire man that is a physical threat. Being a Vampire woman means being in control of the relationship. If I want sex, I can have it. I have to feed anyway so I might as well get laid too. It's all my choice. The who. The when. Not counting you. You were and are a gift. An exception so rare as to not be believed. Despite all that empowerment, being Vampire means hiding. Living in fear of discovery. One human is not a threat. As a species..."
"Males Vampires relative to female's is a rounding error on a spreadsheet. I get the feeling that human males are food. The longer you are a Vampire the more food-like the boys become."
Jessica did not like that idea. "You were not just food to me. Yes: I was hungry. Yes: I was horny. Talking to you, especially on the boat, you became so much more than food. Not unless you mean food for the soul."
Jessica is taking my delving into the male Vampire situation personally. I did not want to make her feel miserable. "I am not talking about you, my sweet and generous lover. You can't absorb switching species and not have questions. I am trying to figure out the male Vampire situation. You tell me. How does a two-thousand-year-old woman feel about an ephemeral human man? What is he to her? Other than a snack? A sex object? You said you can have any human man on demand. The straight ones anyway. How does that not become picking a man out of the store window based upon whatever desire you have a hankering for that day?"
Jessica paused. "I don't think you are wrong, Adrian."
I pressed on. "Next logical thought: If human men are regarded as fast food and the occasional sexual dalliance by those so inclined, does that attitude extend to male Vampires? Are we diminished by being male and only really useful for the same things a human male is?"
Jessica frowned. "Probably. I never really thought about it. You think you are a dalliance?"
I shook no. "Jessica: I am not trying to make this about you and I. I hope I am not, but you said yourself that had I not turned you would not have looked for me. It was once and over."
Jessica carefully answered, "I said that, yes." The way she answered made me feel perhaps she would have looked for me after all, though that may also be wishful thinking.
I needed to let her off any hooks she may feel are being inserted. "Look, I am not trying to piss you off, or try and get you to pinky swear that you and I will last forever. I promise."
Jessica replied with a pained expression. "I know. It is hitting a little close to home. I am not proud of how the males of our species are treated."
I smiled. "I am deeply glad to hear that. I hate to sound like a male libber here, but I have been giving this a lot of thought. Here is another angle that occurred to me: You have pheromones and hypnotics. You can make most any human male your puppet. Men think about sex all the time and are easy to manipulate with sex even without the chemical assist. I think how easy we are is something women look down on men about. I think. Seems like it to me anyway. I am not saying that women are not as interested in nookie as men... Not looking for an answer about any of that." I held up my hands to forestall any response because that is not my main point. "It's the other way when it's a Vampire woman. Maybe anyway? You mate with males that cannot keep up with you. You pheromonally inspire a human man to their best efforts. I assume you can Juice a man to rise again as well. You are a female Vampire, in complete control of the human male. How is that applied in your head to a male Vampire? Your hypnotics and pheromones suddenly not as effective."
Jessica smiled "I used neither on you when you were a human."
"I don't count. You are designed by nature for me. How do female Vampires in general feel about a male you cannot as easily control? Is it in any way off-putting? Scary? Worrisome?"
She gave a bare lift of the shoulders "Honestly, yes. One gets used to being in control."
"Let me ask a slightly different question. Your and my sexual orientations are not in question I think..."
"I have not told you everything about my long and evil sex life." Jessica interrupted "It is varied. There is little I have not at least tried."
"Fair enough. My question, however, is this: is sexual orientation affected by being a Vampire?"
Jessica scratched her eyebrow. "Yes. Also no. First Nature: Sexual orientation is not binary. It's a continuum between hetero and homo with infinite stops. Wherever you are on the chart before you are in the same spot after. Nurture is a much different thing: Being a Vampire changes the environment. If, for example, a human woman is near the middle of that hetero / homo scale, and is raped, or otherwise has bad experiences with men and good experiences with women, she might in practice be leaning more one way than the other. Gain the safety and strength of what you become once you are a Vampire, and a woman might swing back the other way over time. Especially since men are supposed to be the exclusive diet."
She raised her index finger, a 'but wait' gesture. "It can go the other way too. Not even counting the hot tub parties at a Conclave, you are surrounded by other women all your Vampire existence, and you all have the same problems. Instead of one hundred years of sex, we now have thousands. Even if not inclined to prefer a woman, one might take advantage of a kindred spirit every now and then. Sex as a vampire has no costs. No entanglements. You can walk both sides of the street, as the mood and the situation dictates. Sometimes that leads to women biting women and sometimes that leads to conversions. Just like with humans... it is complicated."
"Uncontrolled Male Vampires would create an out-of-proportion number of female Vampires. We are severely controlled though, and still Vampires are created." I pointed out.
Jessica's eyes met mine as she confessed "I was converted by a woman, not an out of control male Vamp and there was no negative consequence. She is very well respected. A woman creating a Vampire is rare, but it happens. A male Vampire creating a female Vampire is common, and a sign they are unstable. It's a double standard, like a 'family values' politician being all about the sanctity of marriage, but don't talk to them about their serial cheating on their trophy wives."
It is not logical. It is not rational. It is just the way it is. "Lovely: In summary, in the feminine hierarchy that is Vampirism, a male Vampire has no place in terms of hunting or gathering or defending house and home. Female Vampires can get whatever they need, blood and sex, from humans. Male Vampires are the runts of the litter."
"Yes. With one exception that may be mythical and that we'll get to, women are always much stronger than men. Some theorize that the males are genetic mistakes. Never meant to be. Like a human born with an extra chromosome or a male calico cat. They are rare, rarely survive, and are weaker when they do survive. Some think they should not survive. They won't if they prove that they cannot be trusted with their new power."
I sensed Jessica is done with this for now. It is a downer subject for me too. I said cheerfully "When we boys do survive we do have our uses."
Brown eyes met mine and sent the same message a pheromone could. "You do when you are not asking hard questions."
"Alright. Enough hard questions for now." I needed nonverbal reassurance. Jessica was ready to reassure me. Maybe us.
Jessica teased: "You have kept me waiting, male."
I gave her a small shrug "Sorry mi'lady. Here?" I waved at the couch.
"Yep. Don't have time to get to anywhere else before I jump your annoying ass."
I guess she had been kept waiting because Jessica became a blur of speed. It was not angry sex, but it was slightly desperate, for both of us.