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I hadn't slept much last night. The sight of Matty in his infuriated state had burned itself into the back of my mind and kept me awake.
I had gone out of bed at nine, made myself a cup of coffee and made my way to the park across the street with a blanket and my sketchbook. Drawing calmed me down and it had been a part of my self-therapy since I was little. I was sat on the ground on my blanket, my knees bent so I could use my legs as support for the sketchbook. I was observing and drawing an old lady who was feeding the ducks down by the lake. I couldn't help but smile at the peaceful contrast to the chaos of Matty's tantrum last night. The worst part was, that I wanted not to be bothered but I cared too much not to. I sighed and drew a couple of lines on the paper, when I felt somebody sit down behind me with one leg on each side of me, resting their head against my back. I could tell by the sweet smell of cologne, and the way delicate curls tickled my neck, that it was Matty. I didn't say anything. I just continued drawing.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled after a couple of minutes. He rested his chin on my shoulder to look at the paper.
" For what?" I said, pretending not to care. I didn't even turn my head to look at him.
" For yelling at you outside and for causing a scene inside," he stated with a genuine gloomy tone.
" Don't be," I said, throwing the sketchbook to a side and turning around so I was facing him, sitting between his legs.
" You should feel sorry for yourself though, for ruining you fucking body," I yelled at him. I felt my eyes get glossy and looked down, not wanting him to see. I didn't even know I would react this way. After some time in silence, he leaned back on the blanket, still keeping his eyes on me. He looked ashamed. Like a child who had been caught with his fingers down a jar of biscuits.
"You just don't understand," he mumbled. I laid down beside him, looking up at the sky. It was a beautiful day actually. For once in the history of British weather, the sky was completely blue without a single cloud, and you could be outside in just your t-shirt.
" What did you take?" I asked calmly, turning my head to look at him. He didn't move, he just laid there with his eyes closed.
"Cocaine," he mumbled, making me close my eyes in sadness.
"Matty.." I sighed, turning onto my stomach, shifting my body weight onto my elbows so I could get a better look of his face. He had had a shower. His hair was damped, and taking last nights events into account, he looked peaceful.
"Here it comes," he said, opening his eyes lightly to meet mine.
" Psychology me," he said with a playful smirk. I couldn't help but chuckle.
" First of," I said, stroking a strand of hair away from his eyes. " I'm pretty sure psychology isn't a verb." He grabbed my hand and held it in his. " And secondly, I'm not gonna 'psychology you'" I mocked, laying back down beside him. He rubbed the back of my hand with his fingers. I didn't mind or think much of it for that matter.
" But..." I said, turning my face to look at him. He met my eyes.
" It's all in your head Matty," I stated, smiling lightly. He looked confused. " How?"
" You are stronger than your addiction. You just have to find an anchor. Something or someone who is more important to you, than the drugs are for your mind." I explained, looking at the way his eyes flickered, as if he was trying really hard to think of something. He nodded slowly.
"I don't think there is a such thing," he mumbled, looking up at the sky again. His words stung a little bit. Not that I expected it to be me or anything. It was just sad how a young man like him could be so attached to something that made him incapable of living his life to the fullest. I felt bad for him. I nuzzled into his side as if to symbolise that I was there for him, if he needed someone.
" So, why did you join me here?" I asked after about five minutes of silence.
" To escape George," he mumbled with his eyes closed. It was obvious that he too enjoyed the extraordinary British weather. I couldn't help but laugh and neither could he.
" No, honestly. He's like a hawk. He sees and knows everything. I swear sometimes I think, that he thinks, that he is my mother," he continued with a chuckle.
" He just cares about you," I replied softly, twirling a curl of his around my index finger.
" I know," he said underneath his breath.
" It's just so fucking annoying. That's why I left the house. He keeps glaring at me as if it was supposed to make me feel guilty, or whatever," he added, blowing a strand of hair away from his eyes.
" On that note," he said, sitting up and letting go of my hand, which he probably didn't realise he had been holding.
" Do you wanna see the city? I know you only moved here two days ago. You can't possibly have seen everything there is to see," he suggested with a bright smile. I sat up beside him.
" I'd love that," I said excitedly. I had lived in London two days and had only seen one Italian restaurant, a Sainsbury's and the flat, and I would have asked George to show me around some time, but here Matty was, offering to take me. "Now?" I asked, standing up.
" Yes preferably. I don't wanna go home to mama George just yet," he laughed, standing up and helping me collect my stuff. We ran across the street from the park, and he unlocked his car and we threw my stuff in the boot, before getting in.
" Where to, princess?" he asked in a fake posh voice, sitting up straight in the driver's seat.
" That's for you to decide. You are my guide," I chuckled, leaning back in my seat.
"Aye me lady," he mocked, starting the car and driving down the street. It was Saturday around noon and the city was buzzing. People of all ages were on the streets getting on with their weekend plans. I pulled my legs up in my seat and moved my head to study Matty as he was driving. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a white half-open button-up. His curls had almost dried after his shower and they created a frame around his face. He had a slight stubble and his hazel eyes were brighter than usual due to the sunlight.
"Enjoying the view?" he asked, smirking at me briefly before moving his eyes back to the road. I blushed slightly.
" mhm hmm. Except it is blocked by this curly-haired self-absorbed arsehole," I teased back, making him gasp. " Auch" he laughed, pulling up in a nice colourful neighbourhood. We both got out and Matty grabbed his leather-jacket in the backseat, tossing it over his shoulder.
"Where are we?" I asked, looking down the road.
" Greenwich Market," he explained and held his hand out for me to take. I don't think he realised he did it, but I took it anyway. Maybe it gave him a sense of security.
The marketplace was colourful, loud and peaceful at the same time. Hundreds of small stalls filled the sidewalks and they were selling everything from jewellery, clothing, food, drinks, records and random crafts. He intertwined our fingers as we walked down the small path between the stalls.
" Why here?" I asked, looking up at him as we walked.
" I don't know really. My mind is at peace here I guess," he replied, smiling at me as he squeezed my hand lightly. I looked around and pulled him towards a stall about ten metres down the street.
" Chicken cones!" I screamed excitedly, practically dragging him there.
" What the hell is a chicken cone?" he asked, keeping a hold of my hand.
" It's like an ice cream cone but with ranch marinated chicken pieces in," I explained excitedly.
" I promise you it's amazing and not as disgusting as it may sound," I continued and ordered one before he could say anything. He wrinkled his nose at me and laughed.
" You are just as weird as George. He eats everything," he laughed and waited with me until I received my cone and a wooden fork. I hummed happily, as I took a piece of marinated chicken in my mouth and chewed happily, receiving a weird look from Matty. I took a piece on the fork and lifted it up in front of him.
" Open up," I grinned. He gave me a questioning look before finally taking the bite. He chewed slowly, looking as if he was debating with himself whether or not he liked it.
"Not bad," he grinned and swallowed the bite. We shared the rest as we made our way further down the road until we saw a record shop and went inside. A mixed smell of dust, dampness and old paper filled my nostrils as we flipped through all the stacks of old vinyl. We each picked a couple and went to pay, before walking back out on the street. We stayed at the market for a couple of hours before deciding to head back home. It was starting to get colder and we knew the others would start to wonder, where we had gone.
Mattys p.o.v
"Matthew!" George yelled as soon as I stepped into the flat. He was there instantly, looking into my eyes. I knew he was checking my pupils.
" Chill out mate. I haven't taken anything," I said, pushing him away slightly, indicating that he should back off.
" It's true. He's been with me," Rosie said, walking through the door and dropping everything she had brought from the car. She was wearing my jacket because she had been cold on our way back. I couldn't help but smile at her. She looked good in my clothes. George looked between us and raised a brow at me. Rosie was busy getting off her shoes so she didn't see. I just shrugged and lifted my hands as if to defend myself from his glare.
" We were thinking about doing a bonfire in the garden tonight," Adam said, walking into the room, making me turn in his direction.