Sitting upright, you loudly sighed as you ran your hands through your hair. Your fingers tangled, you got them out, it was fine. It's all fine.
But what if it really... wasn't?
Your curiosity got the better of you as you sat to think. Well, you were trying to think, anyway.
You should-- no.
A pause.
Well...
It was illegal, but you wanted answers. They were so attainable, too.
So is imprisonment. You thought.
...
It only took you about five more minutes of battling with your conscience, and not long after that to hack into HYDRA's files, and the 'AVENGER INITIATIVE' files.
After that, it was just sorting through everything you thought was connected, and everything you thought was stuff to ask about another day. (An Example would be the weird shit you'd seen on some of the adoption sheets you saw.)
When you saw it, and you pieced it together, your breath just kind of... stopped. Your eyes went wide, and you felt a shiver down your spine.
Slamming your laptop closed, you begin to panic.
"Y/n L/n, are you alright? Do I need to inform..." that was the last thing you heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. say before the blackout that ensued moments later.
...
You woke up, strapped to a stretcher in the lab, an IV strip in your arm, and both Tony and Stephen at your side, staring at you intensely. The sound of a heartbeat-- your heartbeat-- rang out from the monitor next to you, telling everyone that you were awake, yet calm. You didn't really understand what'd happened for a few moments, but you started to remember what'd happened before you'd blacked out.
The file you'd put together under the 'AVENGER INITIATIVE' having to deal with Micheal was printed and on the table next to you, a picture of your foster brother peaking out.
As you looked at it, you felt the panic swell in your chest again. You didn't really remember why, until the golden America boy himself walked in with a glare that could kill off all the bloodlines of everyone in the building. (Or in simpler terms, he was not happy, and looked like he'd gotten literally zero hours of sleep.) You observed the hickeys on his neck, but decided to think nothing of it as you met his gaze with a stern look of your own. (Look at the balls on you, eh?)
"Steve, you look upset. Do you want to talk about it?" Bad move on your behalf, but you didn't so much as look as he clenched his jaw and fists, narrowing his eyes at you angrily.
You noticed the way Tony cringed, and the way Stephen held back a sigh. Your heart rate monitor beep faster, but you didn't visibly react in any other way. The panic in your chest was still there, but it was growing quieter in comparison to your quickly growing rage.
"You might as well tell me when my funeral is, cause y'all look like you're gonna kill me." You sighed, trying to lighten up because for some reason they couldn't. This had been far from the first time you'd passed out from an anxiety attack, so how was this time different? Did you actually die this time? (If so, why the fuck would they care?)
You heard a sigh come from behind you, which caused you not to flinch, but instead slowly look behind the stretcher as much as you could manage. It was Bruce, Natasha, Clint (who honestly look pretty happy and amused), T'challa, Rhodey, a pouting Wade Wilson, and finally, the infamous Nicholas Fury.
Aside from Clint, Fury actually didn't look mad at you. He looked more amused or impressed, and you had no doubt in your mind someone had called him cause they had no idea what the fuck they were going to do with you.
"Fury." you tried to nod.
Nick nodded back, then slowly moved past Banner to your "bed" side. After a moment of looking into your eyes, which you didn't really understand at first, he began to undo the straps of your arms. For the entirety of you being awake, you had barely moved, and the restraints hadn't moved much either. You were in an almost completely calm state, with understandable amounts of anger and panic.
Bruce reached a hand out, "Don't." he sternly muttered.
You felt a ping of something similar to betrayal, but you pushed it aside.
"She's not a threat anymore, Dr." Fury stared him down as he spoke, pausing on his job loosening the restraints, "She hasn't moved since she woke up, and she's in no position to be talked to." He undid the rest of the strap on your left hand, moving in to work on your arm's strap, "Besides, it's not like you don't have the ability to debilitate her without the straps is it?"
There was silence.
"That's what I thought."
The silence continued.
...
It didn't take long for you to be sitting on the edge of the couch in the Living room. What did take forever, though, was the conversation that ensued.
"Is anyone gonna tell me why I was strapped to a stretcher with an IV? Cause, not gonna lie, that's something I've been curious about." Y/n asked.
Everyone in the room was quiet for a moment. You wondered if it'd have been the same way with your siblings, or if they'd have gotten to the point with you by now. Well, you were almost sure that they would've gotten to the point because Micheal was really bad about hiding his feelings about other people's flaws. That's one of the (many) reasons people didn't usually like him. (He was also just really aggressive, but that's just a part of him now.)
Thankfully, Wade quickly got tired of all the quiet.
Unfortunately for him, he started everything off by laughing.
"C'mon everyone," he chuckled, "Why're you being so serious about this? You would've had to tell her eventually, so things are out of the way now, right?" he held a smile for a moment before quickly dropping it and rolling his eyes. "You all are seriously a bunch of stuck ups," he dug his palms into his eyes, "She was literally trained to find answers when she needed them, then you encouraged the behavior, and kept secrets from her. It's not that hard to think through and find her reasoning!" Another exasperated groan.
Steve gave Wade a side glare, "Are you blaming us for this?" he asked, his voice gruff and angry.
"Well, it's not that I'm blaming you captain red-white-and-blue-all-over. However, I will agree to you accusing me of saying that Y/n isn't entirely at fault, but that's mainly because she's not entirely at fault. Catch my drift?" Wade winked with a smile.
Steve was admittedly confused by most things that came out of Wade's mouth, but he nodded nonetheless.
"Who would you blame then?" Fury asked, looking more amused than having previously been. He moved forward, his chin resting on his hands as his elbows sat upon his knees.
"Well, Y/n hacked the Avengers and HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D., sure, but she also gathered all the information to put the pieces together and spare you guys the burden of having to go to her and tell her yourselves. She did you a bit of a favor. Plus, wasn't she doing what y'all were telling her to? Hacking people and finding information isn't just a HYDRA thing she can't get rid of. It's also a tiny baby thing that you took in and raised, encouraged to have grandkids, and live with you instead of in its own house where it belongs. You played the cool parent and said I'd rather you do it in the house when, heads up, that still causes addiction." Wade laughed, "And then it blew up in your faces!" he lightly exclaimed, his voice breathy as he let out a small laugh, "The funny part is how mad you are about this! It's like a tiny teen tantrum." his shoulders shrugged, "And it's so cute!" he squealed, patronizingly.
You smiled, Wade was your favourite for a reason. He was usually pretty funny, and he always stood up for the kids, unless it was a matter of safety. This, apparently, didn't seem to be a matter of safety and Wade thought you were completely fine and far from endangering anyone. Hearing that in his voice made you feel a lot better than you had waking up, and some of your panic went away.
"So... what did I do after I blacked out then?" You asked, surprised at how quiet you were being. Then again, it was really hard to follow the conversation. It was kinda like they sounded farther away than they were, and you were kind of zoning out.
"You just startled Steve and Bucky with some violent questions last night. You were reading his mind very violently, so your eyes were glowing as per usual, and it was dark so they didn't know it was you right away. They were very alarmed in their vulnerable state so they attacked you. You've been out for three days without anyone aside from Bruce, Tony and Stephen to see you. We called Fury yesterday to ask what to do since Bucky doesn't... " Clint paused, trying to find the right words.
"Randomly turn into a psychotic animal like you," Steve growled. (Much to your amusement.)
You smiled, "Wow, so venomous, Steve, I'm hurt. Truly." then mockingly snapped your jaw in his direction, laughing only moments afterward.
After another breath, you thought for a moment, realizing what you'd just heard about you doing. You weren't actually psychotic... were you? Your smile dropped and you were no longer looking at any particular person, but more so at the ground. You really like Steve and Buck. they were a cute couple, and they did a really good job of making sure Chloe was taken care of, and they loved Katie just as much, even if she wasn't technically their responsibility.
A sigh left your lips, "Look, Steve, I really don't mean to randomly freak out, and you should know that I've been working on it." You lick your lips. Huh, they're chapped. Not surprising. "And I'm glad you love Bucky enough to see past his flaws, but ignoring them is just plain ignorant." You look up at Steve now, starting to feel the anger again as he looks back at you, his eyes cold.
"I was with James while he was busy being the Winter Soldier. He trained me as his understudy for a long time, and if you really think that he didn't have control of himself back then I honestly feel sorry for you." You were lying, all you could feel was rage, but you didn't care. You'd feel sorry for him later.
"Bucky raged out just like me, if not worse. He had little to no control over his mind back then. It literally took him years of mental torture and assistance to get to where he is today with you. Now I'm glad that you love Bucky and I'm happy that he trusts you, but doing something so..." You were raising your voice now. You didn't mean to, but you also didn't really care. "So childish and fucking revolting! James was like a really scary father to me when I needed it and dismissing all of his progress, while trying to take a swing at me? Wow, Mr. Fucking America would he be ashamed of you! That's probably why he's not here right now, huh? You sent him away so he couldn't sympathize with me and try to defend me?"
Nat gave you a look you had yet to see and couldn't quite place. "Y/n, that's not--" You cut her off. Right now, there was nobody with high authority on your side, aside from maybe Nick Fury who still had yet to say something.
"Can I go now? I'm tired." despite the fact that you'd been out for three days (which, now that you think about it, kinda shocked you) you hadn't really slept. You were unconscious, not resting, not sleeping, unconscious. The more you listened to everyone talk to you, the more you just wanted to curl up and sleep.
The seconds passed by, and the room was silent. Every moment just weighed you further down. Fury was looking at everyone, who were just staring at you. Eventually, he and Tony locked eyes, and they nodded.
"Y/n, go rest. We'll call you to a whole team meeting later." Nick jerked his head in the direction of the door, and you took that as you que.
With that, you sighed, standing up and halfway through realizing you had a lot less strength than you realized. You stumbled and fell, which had Steve immediately on his feet to try and help you.
You could feel your eyes glow with anger as your gaze met his within a millisecond of him moving to help you.
"Don't fucking touch me." you spat, almost choking because it felt like you had broken your finger when you landed of your hands and you'd started tearing up.
Now, saying this any other day probably wouldn't have made Steve back off, but the sheer betrayal in your voice, the pure rage directed solely towards him, and the fact that you had choked up with tears in your eyes caused him not only to back off, but also caused him to regret the past three days of hatred he'd held towards you.
With that, you somehow managed to push yourself up and walk to your room, only daring to cradle your hand after you rounded one of the many corners of the big, now pretty empty mansion.
Sleeping wasn't easy at first, but once asleep you didn't dream (a true gift from whatever God was up there). Instead, you were in the void, softly breathing and actually relaxed once.
You were at peace.