Lilia stood inside her chambers as she cried silently. She had closed the windows, the curtains, everything that would make light get inside her room.
Images of what had happened to her father replayed in her head as tears streamed down her face. She was never going to see her father again, she was never going to talk to him again, she was never going to feel safe under his protection. Her father was gone and she was alone in a place surrounded by liars.
Her father always spoke the truth. He was an honest man, a true friend of the crown. He would have done everything for the King he knew was the rightful one, and he knew that Joffrey wasn't that King. He died for a cause, he died for his friend, he spoke the truth in order to make his friend's will the truth. And yet, they named him a traitor and they removed his head.
After they took his head, the King's Guards took Lilia back to her new chambers. The Tower of the Hand was no longer hers to live in. She was now the disgraced daughter of the traitor Ned Stark.
Her mind was turned to her siblings and her mother. She knew Robb was marching with the northerners against the Lannisters. He had called up his bannermen and he marched South to free their father. However, now that their father was dead, what would Robb do? How would he react to their father's death?
And her mother... did she know already? Did anyone inform her that the man that she loved, the father of her children, was dead? She remembered when she heard her father say that the life of a widow did not suit his wife. But now... now that he was dead, Lady Catelyn Stark was widowed with a bunch of children to care for.
Her eldest boy was no longer a boy, he was now a man, the Lord of Winterfell and the Warden of the North. But she knew Robb better than that, she knew he didn't care about the titles, he cared about his family. She hoped he would fight for his sisters and beat the Lannisters, bring them home again.
Once he won the war, he would enter the city and storm inside the Red Keep, and he would find his two sisters – Lilia and Sansa. And then, he would give them both the traitor's head.
Then, Robb would grab them and head back North, victorious and to the rest of his family. She would see Bran and Rickon all over again. Bran would be a cripple, but Lilia would love him anyway, and little Rickon would be bigger and also taller. In her dreams, Robb had found Arya and sent her back to Winterfell.
After that, they would close the gates to Winterfell and they would never get out of there ever again. They would live inside the walls of Winterfell, they would bury their father in the crypts with his brothers and then, Jon would come all dressed in black to see them.
Jon... had the news already reached the Wall? And if they had, how was Jon holding up with his father's death? Ned was the only parent Jon ever had, he had promised him that they would speak about Jon's mother once they saw each other again. Now they would never get to have that conversation and Jon was never going to know the truth about his mother.
And then, her thoughts were suddenly on Theon Greyjoy. She remembered the day he reached Winterfell. Her father had left home months ago to fight at the war, leaving her with her mother and her siblings – Robb, Jon and Sansa. The rest of them weren't born yet. Lilia was around four years at that time, her hair wasn't very long back then, and she would like to wear her hair lose, without stupid braids or fancy hairstyles. As once her mother would make them, she would take them off, and eventually, Lady Catelyn stopped trying.
When her father got home from the war, all his children were quick to rush to the gates and hug their father whom they hadn't seen in the longest time. Lilia remembered that back then, she would always chase her father around for hugs and kisses. She was a little girl spoilt with too much love and affection for her father.
Then, there was a boy standing in there. Lilia remembered that he was taller than all of them and far older. He was like five or six name days apart from Robb and Jon, who were the eldest siblings. The boy looked around with a sad look, the eyes of someone who had been crying. His presence made Lilia uneasy and when she asked her father how long he would be staying there, her father shrugged and didn't say anything else.
Theon was a scared little lad, away from home. Some days after her father had brought him home, she had found him crying and she walked towards him
'What do you want?', he said as he cleaned his tears. Lilia didn't say anything, she just sat by his side. 'Leave me alone!'
'I want to be your friend and so do my brothers' tiny, little Lilia replied as she faced the big boy. Then, as Theon thought of an answer to give her, she hugged him and she left.
Theon grew up as her brother, even though she knew he wasn't her brother. For some time, Lilia had stupid feelings for Theon, which Sansa loved to talk about with her. She was just a girl back then, and Theon was older than her. Robb knew of her feelings for Theon and so did Jon, they would usually tease her about it. However, Theon saw her for what she was back then – a little girl.
But as she grew up to be the young woman she had turned out to be, he started to see her with different eyes. Theon was Lilia's first and only kiss, but when her mother found out about it, she told her to stop seeing him with those eyes.
Lilia didn't.
She couldn't help it even if she tried. Every time he would be around, her heart would gain a life of its own and her feelings would be as evident as blood on snow.
At some point, Theon started to visit pleasure houses and spending his time fucking girls. Then, as Robb started to pay some visits to the girls, their conversation consisted of talking about girls. That broke Lilia's heart and soon, her feelings for Theon Greyjoy turned into hurt, and later, indifference and hostility.
However, every Northman who paid enough attention could see the truth. Ned Stark saw it right before his eyes, under his roof. The boy he had taken as a ward had fallen in love with his eldest daughter. He loved her but she never retributed that love. She had feelings for him once, but those feelings were nothing compared to what Theon felt for Lilia, and Theon knew that they would never be, so he gave up on her and tried to forget those feelings.
Lilia didn't believe Theon had loved her, or at least, that was what she would tell herself. Deep down, Lilia knew. She was smart enough to realize that the Greyjoy lad had loved her ever since he was a boy barely grown and that the love he felt for her had lived on through adulthood.
She wished she could see Theon again, even though they weren't as close as they once were, she knew he would feel Ned's death. Perhaps not as intensely as she did, but she knew he would support her.
How could such a horrible tragedy hit her family in that way? Why did they not return to Winterfell while they could? Why did her father take the job in the first place? Why? Why? WHY?!
Then, she thought about how she was going to survive in King's Landing, without anyone she could trust. She had no friends in the Capitol, her sister was with the Lannisters... she was completely alone!
The only thing she had left would be her direwolf, who was lying in some corner of the room with her head between both her frontal paws. The direwolf looked like she was hurt, not physically but emotionally. Those were the times where one could notice the similarities between Winter Rose and Lilia Stark.
There was a knock on her door, but Lilia didn't respond. She didn't care if it was a handmaiden, or some guard, or the Queen herself with her stupid, sadistic son. The door was finally opened and someone closed it, walking hesitantly and stopping at a considerable distance from where Lilia stood.
Then, she heard someone cry. It was someone who she knew very well, Lilia just stood there silently, not saying a word as she looked at nothing. Cries were heard in the room, but apart from that, there was silence. No one moved or talked.
"You were right," the girl said in the middle of her cries as Lilia closed her eyes and silently took another breath to calm herself. Just the very sound of her voice infuriated her. "Joffrey is not what he looked like, I was wrong. He's not a good person, not after what he did. But he promised me, he promised me he would be merciful! He told me he was because he gave our father a quick death"
Lilia didn't say a word as the girl took two steps further, standing on her feet. Lilia didn't even bother looking at her sister's face. Her presence disgusted her, the presence of the foolish sister she had been cursed to stick with.
For some minutes, the room stood silent again. There was tension in the air, bad blood even. Sansa waited for her sister to say something, but once she realized that nothing was going to come out of the eldest Stark's mouth, she decided to tell her all about what had happened.
"Joffrey says I'm still to marry him and that once I bleed he will put a child in me" Lilia's fists clenched as she heard those words. Was that the thing she was worried about at that moment? She should be on her knees asking for forgiveness, she should be ashamed to bring that matter up when their father had just been beheaded. "He told me that before he forced me to stare at father's head on a spike. He killed everyone who we ever knew, Lilia! He killed Septa Mordaine! He killed our father's guards! He killed our father!"
Lilia remained quiet, not even moving as she heard her sister's complaint. She knew no one deserved to be forced to see such image and she was thankful for not being faced with that situation. Had he insisted on that, and he would be the one to fall off the walls of the city. She would die for being a Kingslayer, but she would die knowing that she had done her duty to avenge her father's death.
"Then, he told me he would give me our brother's head and once I told him that perhaps our brother could be the one giving me his, he commanded Ser Meryn to hit me," she said in the middle of cries. She sounded miserable, but somehow Lilia didn't feel as bad for her sister as she normally would. It was still too recent for her to be able to forgive her and she had promised herself she would hate her forever, even if she knew she couldn't. "I can't marry him! I don't want to marry someone like that!"
Once again, Lilia contained her rage and looked at nothing in specific, trying to control herself and prevent her from storming out on her sister. Lilia wasn't in the mood for listening to her sister's complaints. She wasn't in the mood to hear her cry or to console her. Lilia wasn't even in the mood to have her sister in the same room as her.
"Lia..." Sansa moved closer to call her sister's attention. "Say something"
"Leave," she said simply as Sansa stood there, shocked for her life. She had never thought that her sister could be so cold to her. "Leave this room. Leave my presence. Leave me alone"
"Lia, I..." as Sansa was going speak up again, Lilia interrupted her. She couldn't listen to her sister's voice, not anymore. She didn't want to listen to whatever she had to say for herself, neither did she want to face her.
"What do you want me to say, uh?! Thank you? Because it's your fault we're in this situation!" Lilia yelled at her sister as she faced her for the first time. Sansa's eyes widened as she looked at her feet with tears in her eyes. "If you hadn't gone to the Queen, we would be home and we would be safe! Perhaps father would still be alive and you wouldn't have to marry your beloved Joffrey! You killed our father and you imprisoned us and don't even call me by that name! You know what? I wish you marry Joffrey soon and that you pay for all the things you've done to our family! And if he beats the crap out of you, then think that perhaps you deserve it and that father should have done that a long, long time ago! NOW LEAVE ME! GET OUT! YOU LITTLE BITCH!"
Eventually, Sansa walked out of the room and Lilia threw herself on the bed, allowing herself to end up falling as she broke apart.