38
<--->
hyunjin could hear his heart beat extremely fast in his ears when he saw maci. there was a slightly uncomfortable silence that lingered in the air dust, creating an awkward situation in which he didn't want to be stuck in. his breath got caught in his throat, and the only thought he could only think of was that he didn't tell areum about what happened at maci's birthday party.
he was a coward, and he knows.
he went as far as begging felix and sowon from telling areum about it. he was too ashamed of himself, and he had no courage to face areum's disappointment.
maci still looked gorgeous as before as her brown hair swings swiftly with each graceful steps she takes, making some boys in the library turn their heads her way. the three didn't know why maci was in the library, but areum assumed she wanted to see hyunjin.
but it was completely the opposite.
hyunjin had been avoiding maci as much as possible. it wasn't that he got over her already, but it was because his emotions would get the best of him. maci made his heart ache painfully, and he would always be reminded of the night at her party, which he terribly hated the most.
maci walked with her head, and her brown eyes sparkled in delight when she caught boys staring at her. she loved the attention, much more than anything in the world.
areum scoffed at her, shaking her head as she tried to wipe herself dry with the sleeves of the oversized sweatshirt she wore that she borrowed from hyunjin. she was pissed that water was on her notes, forgetting that there were also specks of water lingering on the side of her face. she occupied herself by muttering words under her breath, discouraged.
"hyunjin," areum murmured, turning her head at his direction while he focused his gaze on his fingers. his shoulders hunched over, nervous. "i can't write on my notes anymore, so can i borrow another piece of paper?"
hyunjin gulped, still looking down, "i'm sorry for ruining your notes. here. you can copy from mine." he handed her a piece of blank paper, which she gladly took.
sowon watched in distaste as maci made her way in their direction. shifting in her spot, she grew tense as she didn't want to face the annoying girl now. not after what happened a few days ago at maci's party.
"sowon, hi!" maci uttered, waving her hand wildly in the air as she grinned. sowon grimaced, but she ignored the girl and went back to studying. maci frowned a little. "what? can't say hi to me?"
sowon rolled her eyes. "i wouldn't waste my breath on you." she made sure to say it low so maci wouldn't hear. maci shrugged, unbothered. her eyes traveled over to where hyunjin was sitting at, and her eyes softened. she knew what she did was wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize for her obnoxious behavior.
hyunjin was stiff when he felt a pair of eyes glaring right at him. he didn't look up as he knew exactly who those eyes belonged to. he hoped she would pass by and say nothing as he overheard the short conversation between the two girls.
areum looked away from her notes after writing a few of what hyunjin had written down on her completely new sheet of paper she got from him. she didn't look too happy seeing maci.
"what do you want?" areum snapped, feeling herself grow angry at the brown-haired girl. maci simply smiled in return, but it was obvious that it was a fake one that could fool others but not those three.
"stopping by to say a small hello," maci chirped up.
areum wasn't impressed. she stayed calm. "great, go now."
maci frowned. "why? can't i stay?"
areum furrowed her eyebrows. she wasn't having it today as she had to study for the tests coming up. maci was being a major distraction, and she didn't want to deal with her being annoying and demanding for attention.
"when i say go, then go. it doesn't mean stay," areum said one last time before going back to studying. however, maci didn't budge from where she stood.
a couple of minutes of silence passed, then maci spoke up again, "have you guys seen felix?" sowon's blood began to boil as hyunjin gritted his teeth, trying hard to hold in his painful feelings. how he wished so badly that the girl would leave them alone.
"what the heck do you want, maci," sowon sharply said, glaring at the girl. "i'm done with your dumb intentions. just leave, please."
maci rolled her eyes. "i wasn't asking you, was i?"
sowon scoffed, "i answered. questions are meant to be answered."
"you asked me a question in return," maci sensitively replied back, annoyed.
meanwhile, the two were arguing back and forth, areum felt her frustration level rise. she looked at hyunjin from the corner of her eyes, seeing how quiet he was. hyunjin would literally hug maci right now, but he was staying as still as a rock. she knew something right away was up.
areum began to pack her stuff quickly, nudging hyunjin. when the boy glanced up briefly, areum nodded her head at his books and bag. he caught on quickly and began to pack his books into his bag.
she was done putting her notes and books away, shaking her head when she found sowon and maci still bickering. she saw hyunjin grab his water bottle to put it in his bag, but she stopped him and grabbed it out of his grasp, confusing him.
areum said nothing. she took the lid off, steadying her eyes on maci as that was her number one target. she began to count in her head, silently. before even getting to zero, she thrust the water bottle forward at maci, making her shirt wet.
maci's mouth agape, shocked and obviously surprised. she was about to say something to sowon, but the soft material that was now damped stuck to her stomach. maci let out a frustrated scream, causing heads in the library to look over at her. even the librarian who was not impressed by the loud noise.
hyunjin hastily sat up in the chair to avoid getting wet while sowon sat in her seat, baffled. hyunjin grabbed sowon's stuff and pulled her arm, screaming, "let's go!" fast, the three got out of the library, abandoning maci.
"shit, that was wild," sowon breathed out, panting a little. hyunjin's grip dropped on her as he used both hands to clutch his shirt that was hovering above his chest. he let out a loud laugh, enjoying the shocked look on maci's face.
"she deserved it," areum reasoned. "she didn't shut her mouth. i swear she gets on my nerves. she gets on everyone's nerves actually."
sowon nodded her head as they began to walk back to the direction of areum's house. they had to go home now as they knew they would get in trouble if they went back to the library.
eventually, sowon parted ways with the two. she had to go back home as her mother was making dinner, and she had to help out in the kitchen. that left areum and hyunjin by themselves.
"well," areum started as soon as the turned the corner that led to their street. "the past few weeks and days have been hectic."
hyunjin nodded. "tell me about it..." he was dazed, just a little bit. the images of maci never leaving his mind. just the way she looked beautiful in the dress she wore for her birthday party. how pretty she looked when she smiled at him. he missed her, but his heart didn't. why was it that whenever he tried to love someone, nobody wanted him? why did no one want to return their love back?
areum cleared her throat as she examined the silent boy. "something's up with you. you better tell me or i'll figure it out myself."
hyunjin pursed his lips. he shut his eyes closed for a second, tightly, then he opened them again. a frustrated sigh left his lips, causing areum to worriedly look at him.
"just - i'm going crazy," hyunjin whispered, shaking his head. tears briefly appeared in his brown eyes, making areum stop in her tracks to face him.
the gentle breeze caressed their hair, playfully blowing it as the lonely, empty street remained silent. it was peaceful as birds chirped their lullabies in the background. no one was around, only them. just them.
"no," areum frowned. "you're not. tell me. what's on your mind? let me help you."
hyunjin smiled a little, blinking back the tears as his eyes stung. "maci and i aren't together anymore." areum eyes widened at that, shocked at the truth. then her mind quickly replayed the events from earlier. no wonder why hyunjin was acting strange around his 'girlfriend'.
without speaking a word to him, she pulled him into a tight hug. "you're too good for her, anyway. you deserve someone worth your time and effort."
hyunjin bit his bottom lip, forcing himself not to cry any tears. he knew he would shatter in a few seconds, but he didn't allow himself to. he had to be strong.
"these secrets that i am not telling you is making me guilty so i will be straight up honest with you from now on," hyunjin said next. "areum... remember that time when you asked me on my birthday how do you love someone?"
areum slowly nodded her head. "yeah..."
"i'm eighteen, just two years away from twenty. i admit i don't know what love is yet, but i thought i was in love. i don't realize the things i do because of love. it's just love and love, and why do we need love?" hyunjin ranted. his eyes were holding so much emotion in them. "and why do we need to love someone? why do we need to love our own self before loving others?"
hyunjin closed his eyes, letting his chin rest on her shoulder as a single tear rolled down his eyes. "i hate this feeling."
author's note
there's a reason i'm writing long chapters now... it's because i don't want the book to end just yet. i'm suspecting this book will end around 47 or 50 chapters :'(
anyway, have a nice day!