I try not to overthink the situation. If he's avoiding me there must be a reason and it must be a good one. Even if it seems that it doesn't make sense, that only means I don't understand. I already know Zeke doesn't just do things at random, he's deeper than that. I ease my curiosity by telling myself that I'll ask him the next chance I get.
But I don't get a chance until we have literature together and even then he arrives at the teacher's tail.
During the weekend I studied every second so I wouldn't think about this. On Monday I was looking for him to no avail. I never saw him that day. On Tuesday morning I saw him but he once again pretended I wasn't there. I thought of calling his name but then realised it would be better if I didn't. It's likely he is mad at me for some reason. Maybe he saw me doing something, maybe he didn't like that I told Sam about him. Or something else I'm not aware of. But I'm sure we can talk it through. I doubt he showed me that side of him to never talk to me again. That wouldn't make sense.
During class I steal glances at him but he never looks up. I try to also keep up with the class so I won't be embarrassed again and I can participate. Today we are discussing a short story by Ernest Hemingway, "White Hills Like Elephants" and we are discussing the symbolism within the story. It's a story I really liked and I feel bad for not paying full attention, but Zeke consumes me right now.
He looks even more unapproachable than before. Even our classmates keep more distance with him, they are more careful. Everyone pretends he's not there but I'm staring, hoping he'll look up and give me a small smile that tell me that going to that orphanage wasn't the only time we'll ever talk.
But he never does. He keeps his eyes on his notebook, on a page where he's doodling. I don't even think he's paying attention.
"Zeke," our teacher calls but Zeke doesn't show any sign of recognition. "You're always quiet and you know participation is key now so why don't you tell us what the hills represent?"
Without looking up, without even stopping his doodling he says, "fertility. The mention of elephants refers to the fact there's a big issue in their relationship they are not discussing and white elephants represent fertility, which must be the topic causing trouble."
Everyone is silent. Even the teacher is surprised that he spoke so clearly and without a hint of hesitation. And he didn't even say something someone else has said so he must've had been paying attention the whole time.
I grin to myself when I realise he's not just keeping a seat warm, he's actually listening and reading as well.
"W-well done," Mr Gayle says and my grin widens because his plan failed. He was hoping to catch Zeke's off guard.
For a second Zeke looks up and our eyes meet, he sees me grinning and I think his lips curl up but I'm not sure, the next second he's looking down again.
When the class is finally dismissed, Zeke is the first to leave and I have to grab my things as fast as I can to run after him. I won't let him go away without knowing his reason. I just want to understand, if he wants me to pretend we've never talked, I will. I just need to know that's what he wants and why.
"Zeke!" I call out, running behind him. Some other people turn to look at me and he only walks faster so I have to run even faster to catch up with him. "Zeke, wait please."
He turns on the next corner and I do the same but I bump into him.
"Ouch," I say taking a step back. Zeke is there, looking everywhere in that threatening way and the students decide to choose another path.
"Hey, I'll be brief so don't worry I just want to know why. Why you're ignoring me like this. Did I do something to annoy you?" I ask in a hurry.
He looks around again, making sure no one is watching us.
"You did nothing wrong, Allie," he says and the fact he calls me Allie makes my heart do something weird. "So don't say that."
"Then why? I mean you don't even let me say hello," I complain and I sound hurt. I didn't even think I was hurt.
He notices the emotion in my voice and his eyes are intently on me, regret is written all over his face and he looks anxious.
"I'm the problem, don't you see? If you're seen hanging out with me or even near me it'll ruin your reputation. Even the teachers will think badly of you. Your parents will be mad." He stops for a second and looks at me with sad eyes. "I can't do that to you."
I blink quickly, processing his words and when I do I can't help it, laughter escapes my lips. He looks confused now.
"Don't be ridiculous, Zeke. What reputation? I've been invisible until now. I have no reputation to ruin or improve. The teachers won't mind whom I'm friends with because I'll keep getting perfect scores. My parents only care about that so as long as I get only As, it'll be fine. I know how to handle them." He looks shocked and that makes it even funnier for me. "You're the only one concerned about that, believe me. As you don't care about what others might think of you, neither do I."
We stare at each other for a while, a smile on my lips because now I'm relieved I didn't do anything wrong, it's not that he wants to ignore me, he was just trying to do something nice for me even if I didn't ask him to. That's like him, I understand now.
Slowly but surely, a smile comes to my own lips and he sighs defeated. "Fine, if that's what you think then I guess there's no point in keeping distance."
"No point at all," I confirm and he chuckles. "I even got to think you were mad 'cos I told Sam you're not a bad guy," I continue with a chuckle.
"You did? Blimey, and I worked so hard for everyone to think I was bad guy. What am I gonna do if the word gets out there?" he says trying to sound serious but the smile betrays him and I only chuckle.
"I think the rumours got worse, though. Today I heard you have a huge stuff animals collection. Especially white adorable bunnies," I tease him and he fakes horror.
"My secret has been discovered! I'm doomed," he covers his face with his hands as if he were heartbroken and I fight my laughter. I pat his shoulder in a sympathetic way.
"I'm sorry I ruined your reputation," I offer still fighting the smile.
"I demand compensation," he says quickly and in a very serious tone, completely devastated from the one he was using before.
"Fine. I'll treat you some quesadillas. I know an amazing place. Let's go now? Or do you have somewhere to go? Maybe white fluffy bunny haunt?"
"That was yesterday, today I'm free," he replies with an honest smile that warms my chest.
"Is it okay if Sam comes with us, too?" I question just to make sure.
"She's your friend, right?" he asks back and I nod. He smiles brightly, in that way that makes him look like a whole new person. "Sure. I bet she's nice."
"The nicest," I supply, feeling proud of calling her my friend.
I take my mobile out of my pocket and start texting her.
Wanna grab some quesadillas today? —Allie
The reply comes almost immediately.
Always —Sam
Great. I also invited Zeke. You can't take it back now. See you at the gates —Allie
I don't expect her to refuse or avoid Zeke and I wasn't wrong for thinking that.
Oh, so you made up and are besties again? Shall I prepare my moves? —Sam
Better safe than sorry —Allie
I send the last text and then look up at Zeke who's looking at me with a warm expression and a soft smile.
"She must be really nice if she makes you smile like that while texting," he comments and my smile widens.
"You'll meet her soon. Let's go?"
He nods and I turn on my heels to lead the way. I notice people turn to watch us when we walk past them, some even whisper but my smile doesn't hesitate for a single moment. I mean it when I say I don't care if he ruins my reputation—or gives me a reputation for what matters—because I know the real Zeke, I know that all what they think they know is wrong and incomplete. If I get a bad reputation it’s not because I'm doing something wrong, it's because they are ignorant and ignorant people don't matter to me. I might want to socialise and experience life but I can't deny the kind of person I am because after all I'm a scientist, I value knowledge the most.
When Zeke and I make it to the Gates Sam is already there, smiling brightly at us, her guitar case firmly hanging from her shoulder.
"Sam!" I call walking faster to get to her. "Sam, this is Zeke. Zeke, this is my friend Sam," I make the introductions with a big smile.
"Nice to finally meet you," Sam says offering her hand for a shake. "I've heard loads about you."
When she says that I feel my cheeks warming up, which means I'm blushing. It's true that I've talked a lot about Zeke, maybe too much. And I blush even more when I notice Zeke taking a glimpse at me with a curious smile.
"Same," he says. "We haven't talked much with Allie, but she always mentions you."
"Anyhow, shall we go? I really want quesadillas," I interrupt because I don't want to keep blushing.
They nod and we leave to catch the double decker bus to take us to the café that Sam took me before. On our way we keep the small talk, nothing important, mostly about how Zeke is going to taste the best quesadillas around.
It's only when we are seated that Sam starts a more serious topic.
"I'm sorry, Zeke," she says and he looks really confused. "'Cos I judged you without really giving you a chance. I assumed you were just another bully but you're quite nice."
He blinks in surprise and I know Sam is nervous, even if she keeps a smile on her face.
"It's okay, I understand. It's not like I make it easy for people to understand," he offers kindly and my own smile comes to scene.
"True that," Sam agrees. "From moment one you had Allie intrigued. She just couldn't leave it alone, even when I told her it was better to stay away from you. I'm glad she didn't listen, though," Sam tells him offhandedly and I'm blushing again. Oh boy, I really don't like this whole blushing deal.
Zeke looks at me with that amused smile that makes me chest feel funny.
"You're very curious, aren't you?"
"I'm a scientist," I reply. "I need to understand any phenomenon happening around me. If it ignites my curiosity, I need to understand."
"My mum is fascinated with her," Sam continues, "so when I saw her finally looking beyond the textbooks I had to talk to her. She made me curious, too."
I'm feeling very self-conscious right now.
"I know what you mean," he says looking at me with that smile again.
Seriously, what's this feeling in my chest? Why does it feel so tight out of the sudden?
"I'm sure you're gonna find the cure for something big in the future. Nobel prize and everything. And I'll brag that we are friends," Sam laughs and I do the same. "What do you wanna do, Zeke? Taking the A levels?"
"Yeah, I wanna study illustration in uni," he says calmly. "You?"
"I'm getting a degree in music already," Sam replies and he looks interested.
That opens the topic of music for them and even if I can't participate, I'm happy to see them getting along so well. They have very similar taste and know almost all the artist the other one listens to. Zeke is very into music, as well. He says he draws better when listening to some indie artist that he's discovered recently.
I introduced them but they bonded over music, that's for sure. And that makes me happy because as we eat our quesadillas, we have a great time. We joke, laugh and discuss different topics. Zeke looks happy the whole time, comfortable. Sam also seems to like Zeke and now she's seeing with her own eyes he's more than what he looks like.
This is all new to me. Hanging out with friends, laughing in a group yet I wonder if it's new for Zeke, too. Due to his personality and the way he seems to drive people away with his intimidating glare, I doubt he's ever gone out with friends his same age or classmates. But then again, I don’t know how he was during primary and secondary school.
I'll ask him about that another day, after all, we are friends now, right?
-:-:-
I hope you liked it :) now you understand why he was acting like that.
Bel, xx