Kyle paced in front of the restaurant, feeling more nervous than ever. Which was really weird. It wasn't like he'd never been out eating with Kay before. Hell, they'd been millions of places together. But this was different. This time, it was more and not just because of all the pressure he felt, but because everything finally had a name. Estrangement.
He needed to call it like it was. Kay had moved out. As much as she claimed it wasn't true, she'd spent every night at Angie's place recently. His mother was right. He couldn't let her slip away, make up a new life in which he was just an afterthought. He needed to stop being selfish and afraid of commitment and do what had to be done.
With a sigh, he pulled the ring out of the front pocket of his shirt. Looking at it hurt on some level, as if he were forfeiting his sense of self. But that was mostly Sarah talking. He had no objective reason not to propose to Kay. He was even half convinced she expected it and part of why things were spiraling out of control was her hidden frustration. This would fix everything.
He shoved the ring in his back pocket. Nope, he couldn't do it. Expecting it to solve their problems was the worst reason to propose. Like having a kid to fix a marriage. Marriage. His parents were living proof that marriages fell apart even after five children.
But if he didn't do it and lost Kay because of it... He couldn't face that, now when he was sure that marrying Kay was what he wanted in the long run. To be with her forever, have kids with her, as many as possible, grow old together. And yet, that ring seemed to weigh a ton.
You don't have to do it. It's not like she knows or expects anything. But he knew. Would it bring Kay home? Would it really make everything better? Was he really talking to himself?
"Hey, you okay?"
Kyle snapped out of his zone-out and stared at Kay who stood right in front of him. Her head was tilted questioningly and her silver chandelier earnings shone in light coming from inside the restaurant. She wore a satin light blue dress, long and form fitting and looked so beautiful. His breath caught in his throat.
"You came," he said stupidly.
"Of course I came." She eyed him up and down and her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Are you actually wearing a suit?"
"Um, yeah. To match your dress. You said dress up, didn't you?"
Her smile was so warm and honest and it seemed to fill him up with life and exhilaration. This was Kay. His Kay. Not the one of the past few weeks who wouldn't give him the time of day because she was always too busy. This was the Kay who adored him. And the ring was suddenly light enough to fly out of his pocket.
"Should we go inside?" she asked with a devious smile that proved she enjoyed the effect she had on him.
He immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her in, all the nervousness gone. Forget being worried. Everything would come naturally. It always did for them.
Kay stared around at the twenties-style decorations, at the dressed-up patrons, her smile filled with wonder. The live band played a jazzy piece and couples were already dancing. Kyle couldn't wait to join them, dance with her again. It had been too long.
Once they were settled at their small table in the corner, Kyle pulled his phone out and lay it face down on the table, honestly hoping she got the hint. Kay smiled and did the same and a weight seemed to lift off his shoulder.
"Whoever picks it up first pays for dinner," he said, and she nodded enthusiastically.
They immediately launched into conversation about their day and it was strangely pleasing to hear Kay complaining about work and shifts. She skirted around the subject of Angie and Kyle was actually grateful, because he'd had enough of that for a long while. He didn't broach his parents divorce either and filled her in on his latest adventures at work.
After placing their order, they headed for the dance floor. It was heaven touching her, feeling her shivering in his arms, their bodies moving as one. The thrill reminded him of their prom, when he'd just realized he was in love with her and was doing his best to show it. Now was no different. He wanted her to feel like he adored her with every move and every gesture. She moved with such grace, her face bright and excited. That until they returned to their seats and she pouted.
"What?" he asked.
"We ordered so much food. It's going to take us freaking forever to finish."
A shiver of cold went down his spine. If she was going to bring up going back to Angie, he was going to throw something. "Have something better to do for the evening?"
"Yeah," she mumbled before raising her eyes and looking at him cheekily. "You."
Kyle just stared at her as his brain processed her words. "You're right. Too much food. We should ask for a doggy bag and go."
She giggled and put her hand over his. "I think we could at least have the first course here. And maybe another dance. I can't believe I forgot how well you can move. Well, outside other circumstances."
How could he say no to that? So he just nodded, wondering if her dress would catch fire if he stared at it long enough.
Kay sighed content and glanced around, leaning her chin in her hand. "I really missed this. Just us. I'm so happy you talked me into it."
"I'm happy I talked you into it, too." Because it finally felt right, like they were back to being insanely happy and in love.
"This night is just perfect. Though I do have an idea how it could get better." The devious smile on her face made him want to damn the course and the dancing and everything.
But he wouldn't, because he knew how to make it even better than that. He took her hand and reached his other for the back pocket because this was it. He wanted this forever and if that ring was going to make sure that happened, he was all for it.
Before he could pull it out of his pocket, Kay's hand stiffened in his. He froze and followed her gaze to her phone which was vibrating on the table. They both stared at it and Kyle got a sinking feeling in his stomach. Please don't answer.
His silent prayer didn't work. She pulled her hand out of his, picked up her phone, and answered it.
"Yes. No, it's okay, I'm done. Just tell me what happened."
He watched her, his hand still wrapped around the ring which was half out of his pocket, trying to fight the annoyance. It was no big deal. She was just on the phone when they agreed they wouldn't answer any calls. She'd just hang up and they'd continue their evening like nothing happened.
"Oh, my God!" She covered her mouth with her free hand, her eyes wide and shocked. "No. I'll be right over. Don't move!" She lowered her phone and practically jumped off her seat. "We have to get to Angie's. Tom just packed his stuff and moved out." And without a backwards glance, she hurried towards the exit.
Tom just... Oh, fuck you, Tom. Great timing, asshole. But the anger dissolved into defeat and Kyle let out a long breath. He took the ring out and looked at it, turning it over between his fingers. The gold band glinted in the light almost as if it were laughing.
"Are you coming or what?" Kay called from the doorway.
He squeezed the ring in his hand, then shoved it in the front pocket of his shirt and left to pay for their meal. This had gone swimmingly.
Saying that the car ride was awkward was the understatement of the century. Kay kept mumbling about Tom being a moron while he focused on the fat raindrops splashing on the windshield. How typical that it would rain.
"You're not saying anything," she noticed flatly.
"What's left to say? You're saying it all." He was so done with the whole Tom-Angie drama and Kay was getting way too involved in a relationship that was none of her business.
Yes, what Tom did was cruel and moronic and it hurt Angie more than he knew, but in the end, it was between the two of them. Neither Kyle nor Kay could do anything to change things, no matter how much she wanted to. As far as he was concerned, maybe Angie was better off without his brother.
"You know, I'm starting to think you're on Tom's side."
"What?" he growled.
"You haven't even spoken to him."
"That's because I'm not speaking to him. And I thought that was proof enough of how I feel about this shitstorm." He tried to keep his voice even, but she was pulling him out of the numbness he'd forced on himself. She wouldn't like what she'd find under there.
She huffed. "You're just avoiding the issue and not talking suits you."
He tightened his hold on the wheel, gritting his teeth. The plastic molded under his hands so he took advantage of a red light to close his eyes and take some deep breaths. He could do it. He could be reasonable and not yank the wheel out, as much as he hated this conversation and the whole damn situation. "As much as I hate what's going on, I think it's none of our business."
"How can you say that?" Kay asked, outraged.
Her tone grated on his nerves so hard. "It's the truth. You've put so much soul into this, I sometimes feel like Tom broke up with you, not Angie."
"Don't tell me you're jealous!"
Kyle eyes snapped open. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"This!" Kay indicated to all of him. "Acting up just because I want to be there for Angie. She's like a little sister to me--"
"And Tom's my real brother. Can we drop this? I don't want to be caught in the middle." His voice was getting a very unpleasant edge, but he was way past trying to control it. He needed to focus on traffic, on anything that wasn't Kay's holier-than-though attitude.
"By God, you're so selfish! Angie needs me a lot more than you do. A lot more than that asshole brother of yours needs anyone."
He decided to let that slide, because any reaction would've involved a lot of swearing or breaking stuff he needed to control the car. "Angie keeps telling you to go home"
"Of course she does, because she knows you get pissy--"
"I get pissy? You think this is what it's all about?"
"Oh, then please illuminate me. What is it about?"
"The fact that you care more about their relationship than you do about yours!"
His words hung between them like fog. His knuckles turned white with the pressure of his grip on the wheel. He was so fed up with fighting over this, with Kay jumping at everyone who didn't outright crucify Tom. No one was even talking to her at the moment because no one wanted to be part of this. He couldn't escape, and the fact that Kay insisted he took a side was killing him. He couldn't take a side. Tom was his brother for fuck's sake.
"Funny how you leave yourself out of it," Kay finally said, muted anger dripping from her voice. "My relationship."
"Don't make this about me."
"Isn't it always about you, though? You're the one who doesn't understand, the one who can't stand a few nights without me--"
"A few nights? You practically moved in with Angie!"
She raised her voice to cut him off. "You're the one always complaining!"
He took in a deep breath, trying to calm down and not say what was on the tip of his tongue. He wasn't complaining. He just found her obsession with this infuriating.
"Stop ignoring me!" Kay yelled.
"I'm not ignoring you. I'm just so sick of this."
"Of course you are."
And he'd officially had enough. He pulled over and let the engine run, trying to focus on the monotone hum instead of Kay's words, the disgust in her tone. She'd never spoken to him like that before and he'd never felt so estranged from her. She was supposed to be his soulmate, to understand. They were supposed to face everything together, not blame each other for irrelevant garbage that had nothing to do with them.
"What the hell are you doing?" she asked annoyed, like he was just something standing in the way of her ultimate goal.
He couldn't stand it anymore. "I'm out of here." And he opened the door and got down.
"Kyle! Get back in here! It's raining!"
Yeah, because that was his biggest problem. He couldn't even feel the raindrops pouring down on him. He needed to get away from her, to calm down before the did something he regretted. To think. He sunk his hands into his pockets and started off down the street. It took maybe a minute for the car to zoom past him, and what hurt most was that he wasn't surprised.
For a moment, he contemplated turning around and going home. He wanted to be alone, away from Kay's suffocating presence, from her critical eye and her bullshit. And for the first time, he wouldn't miss her. Because if this was how their life was going to be from now on, he didn't want it. Not anymore.
Are you seriously considering breaking up with her? Was he? It was blasphemy, but the thought didn't scare him. It made him feel lighter somehow, like everyone's expectations would finally be off his shoulders and he could wallow in failure like everyone else.
But he wouldn't give up. Not over one stupid fight. Except it wasn't that. It was Kay's entire attitude towards everyone, it was her making such a big deal out of something that had nothing to do with them. She was cold and absent and so concerned with other people.
It could pass, so maybe breaking up wasn't the solution, but he sure as hell needed a break and Kay needed a damn wake up call.
His feet carried him automatically towards Angie's place, but he didn't care enough to stop. Angie was his friend, Tom was a fucking idiot, and maybe he'd actually be of some use there.
Since the place was very close to where he'd stopped, he reached the door almost at the same time as Kay. She waited in front of it, having probably rang the doorbell. She looked over her shoulder when she heard him approaching and her expression sad rather than angry. His heart tightened, but not as much as it usually would have. Something was terribly wrong with them.
The door opened and Angie greeted them, wiping her nose on a crumpled tissue. Her eyes were puffy and red and she wore her own clothes for once, a large t-shirt and shorts. Her eyes moved from Kay to him and her expression changed from one of anguish to pure rage.
"What the hell, Kay? You said you were done!"
Kay took a step back, her eyes wide with shock. "Wha--?"
Angie swelled with anger and seemed to literally grow in size. "What did I tell you? Stop screwing up your relationship! Stop treating him like an afterthought!"
Kay only stared at her, mouth open, and Kyle got a sick sense of satisfaction that shouldn't have been there. But it was good to know he was right and Angie was pissed at Kay just like he was.
"Get out of here," Angie mumbled and wanted to close the door in their faces.
Kyle reached out his hand and stopped her. The evening had gone to shit already and the last thing he wanted was to be alone with Kay. "No, Angie, it's okay."
She looked at him and her expression softened. "Are you sure?"
He nodded and Angie opened the door and moved out of the way to let them in. The moment she closed the door, tears filled her eyes again, as if seeing the inside of the apartment made her remember that Tom had left.
Kay immediately entered concerned friend mode and led her to the couch, asking exactly what happened. Kyle sat on the coffee table in front of them and took Angie's hands while Kay wrapped her arm around her shoulders.
"He just let himself in and started packing," Angie started between tears. "I know he said we broke up, but I didn't think he meant it." She sniffed loudly. "But maybe he's right. Maybe I should get my head out of my ass and stop being pathetic."
"Oh, Angie, that's not true," Kay said desperately.
"Yes, it is. Because I begged him to stay. I...I..." She sank her head in her hands and started crying again.
Kay threw Kyle a reproachful look, probably for thinking they could have left Angie on her own for the night. He had to agree with Kay on this one. Poor Angie was worse off than he'd thought. And Tom was such a moron. He hadn't thought it was final either, because Tom usually thought better and admitted defeat. Maybe not this time.
"I'll go make some tea." Kay got off the couch and headed for the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway, biting her lower lip. "Kyle, do you want anything?"
"No thanks, I'm good," he mumbled.
Kay nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. The moment she did, Angie squeezed his hands.
"Are you two okay?"
At least someone could look past their own misery. "Yeah, why?"
"It's just..." Angie looked away and sighed. "I've never seen you so stiff around each other. And I obviously interrupted something serious."
"We were just having dinner," he said, trying to play it down. "You know that."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Kyle Grant does not just have dinner in a suit. I know how much you hate wearing them."
He shrugged. "We were having fancy dinner."
"I just...." Angie stood from the couch and hugged herself. "I told Kay this so many times, that she shouldn't ditch you for me, that she's screwing up, but she's so stubborn. It's annoying. I feel like she's suffocating me sometimes."
Kyle stood too and rubbed her arms. "Hey, don't worry about us. Just focus on feeling better."
"That's so you." She huffed. "Always saying the right thing. You know, I'm glad you're here. I... You're very comforting."
He smiled at her honest compliment. It felt good to feel useful and wanted once in a while. Ugh, when had he turned into such a pansy?
"Have you... You know, talked to Tom?" she whispered.
"Talk? No. Fight? Yes. Currently on speaking terms? No. But after this, I think I'm going to punch him in the face."
"No, Kyle, don't," she said desperately.
"Just once. As hard as I can. See what happens."
She took his face in her hands, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Don't do this."
"He doesn't deserve you doing him any favors, Angie."
"I'm not doing this for him. I'm doing it for you."
Kyle didn't have an answer to that. He just hugged her, even if he was wet. She hugged him back, pressing her cheek against his chest, the little sister he never had and probably never will now because his brother was an overreacting douche.
She suddenly pulled back and sunk her hand into the pocket of his shirt. Before he could figure out what she was doing, she'd pulled the ring out and stared at it.
"Oh, my God," she whispered.
Shit. This was bad, especially if Kay decided to join the party. "Angie, give it back. It's not what you think."
"You were going to propose and I stopped you." She looked at him, panic written all over her face. "We can still fix this. Does Kay know? Of course she doesn't since you still have the ring. Look, I'll just go and you guys can order food. I'm sure we still have some wine lying around..." She faltered when she realized she'd included Tom, but shook it off. "Actually, I'll order the food and a dozen roses while I'm at it. There's scented candles in the bathroom--"
"Angie, stop. It's okay. You don't have to do any of that. I'm not proposing to Kay." Her reaction would have been amusing if it wasn't so damn tragic.
"Why not?" she asked, taken aback.
"Because I'm not ready."
"Well, you were obviously ready an hour ago."
"Yes, but I would've done it for the wrong reasons." Angie frowned in confusion and he took in a deep breath and continued, "It was more my mother pressuring me than anything. Everyone pressuring me. This ring was my grandmother's so I didn't even buy one. I didn't think about buying one because... well, because it's too soon. I would've only done it to secure Kay."
"That doesn't sound wrong," she whispered.
"It is. A proposal should come when the relationship is at its best not when it's--" Going to hell. But he fortunately stopped because Angie looked really worried again.
"Are you sure you two are okay?"
No. I'm sure we're not. "We'll figure it out. We always do." Wishful thinking much?
Angie opened her mouth to say something, but Kay's appearance from the kitchen fortunately stopped her. Kyle took the ring from her and kept it hidden in his fist.
Kay placed two steaming mugs of tea on the coffee table and watched them curiously. And Kyle took it as his cue to get the hell out of there before everything exploded in a shitstorm of tears.
"I'll be going."
"No, you don't have to," Angie said quickly.
"Yes, please stay. You're all wet," Kay said desperately.
"Nah, that's okay. I have a busy day tomorrow. Should actually try getting some sleep." Yeah, fucking right.
"Don't you at least want a clean shirt? I'm sure I got one of Tom's--" Her voice broke and her eyes instantly filled with tears again. Because there were no more of Tom's shirts around. There was nothing of Tom's there.
Kyle smiled weakly at her, hoping she'd find comfort in Kay and headed for the door. Angie made no move to stop him as she dropped on the couch and hugged herself.
"Kyle, wait." Kay hurried after him. They both stopped next to the door and she looked up at him with misty eyes. "I wanted to come with you tonight," she whispered.
"You should stay here. Angie needs you." He pretended he didn't get the hidden meaning behind her words.
She nodded, though she didn't look happy that she'd been right. He wondered for a second what would've happened if she hadn't answered her phone. Would they be engaged now? Engaged in other things? Who cared after all? This was reality and it sucked.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "For flying off the handle like that. I'm just so stressed out."
He nodded and opened the door. "Take care of her." And he stepped out.
"Kyle."
He stopped and turned around. Kay was in the threshold looking at him longingly. Why did it have to be too little, too late?
"I love you," she said.
"Goodnight. We'll talk later." And he turned to walk away.
"Kyle!"
He could hear it clearly, the hurt in her voice, the tears, the regret, and it broke him down more than anything that had happened tonight. Because he couldn't go to her, hold her, drive away her fears, assure her they would be fine. It would all be fake. A lie. But he could do one little thing for her.
"I love you, too." And with that he walked away.
It hadn't been a lie, but it had been very hard to say.
♠️♠️♠️
This is very familiar to anyone who read the bonuses for RIFOY. Of course, I tweaked it a little to fit the current situation and voice because the other one was a little loopy.
Looks like I kinda broke the only thing left standing. They're still together, but barely. And Angie is maybe right and the most reasonable person in this scene.
I hope you enjoyed this. If you haven't read it before, I'm really curious how you feel about the development with Kyle and Kay. Does it seem realistic especially given Kay's previous reactions to emotional situations? I don't want it to feel like it fell out of the blue, because I did try to build it up as much as possible.
Any and all thoughts are appreciated. Just one more chapter left from this part and it's about time to start screwing stuff up horribly. Angie needs to make her share of mistakes.
Vote and comment and goat.