"You seriously have got to be kidding me," Yoongi muttered as he was handed the keys to the hotel room.
The Nine-Nine had taken a trip to celebrate Taehyung's return to the precinct. Yoongi, however, didn't understand the need for this considering Taehyung was only gone for two weeks.
After the day's events, they were checking into a nearby hotel to spend the night. Namjoon, of course, booked three rooms, and one of them was for himself.
"You're telling me I have to stay with Jungkook and Jin?" Yoongi asked in disbelief. "You're telling me that Sarge is staying in the other room? Inexcusable."
"Is that a problem?" Hoseok asked, handing the two other key cards to Jimin and Taehyung. "We're all going to meet up in my room anyways."
"For what?" Jungkook inquired.
"Drinking, of course," Jimin said.
Hoseok's eyes darted to Namjoon and he looked at the other officers sharply. "Shh!"
Namjoon cleared his throat. "What? You think I can't drink?"
Hoseok choked over his words. "W-what?"
"Try me, lightweight," Namjoon said and turned on his heel, heading to his room as the other officers gaped at him.
"That's Korea's ass right there," Jin muttered, impressed by the view.
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"Alright, dipshits," Yoongi began, looking Jin and Jungkook in the eye. "If you two get drunk, I'm taking you right back. We are not getting noise complaints, you hear me?"
Jungkook and Jin both nodded before glancing at each other uneasily.
Yoongi knocked at the door and Hoseok opened it, ushering them inside.
"This reminds me of those high school after-parties where everyone just mixes drinks and watches everyone get drunk," Taehyung said from inside, cradling his red solo cup of vodka.
"That's concerning," Namjoon replied, sipping from his own cup.
"Are you guys drinking it straight?" Jin asked, scrunching up his nose at the thought. "That shit tastes like rubbing alcohol."
"Captain and Jimin are!" Hoseok exclaimed. "Taehyung and I mixed our drinks like normal people."
"Real men drink it straight," Namjoon said.
"Well." Jin huffed. "You're gay."
"It feels nice when you drink it straight," Jimin added. "It feels nice and hot when it goes down."
Yoongi snorted. "You know what else feels nice and hot when it goes down?"
"What?" Hoseok asked.
"Nothing."
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Yoongi watched his colleagues in horror as they made a mess around the hotel room. He poured himself his third cup of vodka, mixing it with the sprite that Hoseok had brought for them, and headed over to sit on the bed.
Yoongi had a high tolerance; he didn't have to restrict himself too much.
Jungkook, who was clearly tipsy, bumped into Yoongi as he tried to walk straight. "Oh, my bad. You see, I really love you, so I wouldn't do that on purpose, so I promise you it was a complete accident. I really, really love you, buddy."
Yoongi spilled his drink all over the bed and let out a heavy sigh, unfazed even as it spilled over Jimin. "Well, I fucking hate you, buddy."
"Jungkook!" Jimin whined. "Hoseok is literally going to kill you!"
Hoseok turned around. "Who? Why?"
Jungkook put a single tissue over the area of the spillage. "Nothing," he drawled.
"Jungkook spilled!" Jimin tattled.
"Jungkook," Hoseok began, "I'm going to shove your skinny dick down your skinny throat."
"Yum," Jungkook hummed, stressing each syllable.
Yoongi sat down near the corner of the room, resting his elbows on his knees as Jin stumbled out of the bathroom near where he was sitting. He looked completely drunk by the way his eyes were clouding over and his body movements were slow and jerky.
Jin pointed at Yoongi, a serious expression settling on his face. "You," he said. "I want to suck your dick."
"No," Yoongi answered.
Namjoon paled. "I think it's my cue to leave," he said once he sensed the mood that Jin was in.
"No, stay," Jin insisted, heading toward him but stumbling over his feet and falling to the floor. He fell against Hoseok, assisting in spilling his drink, causing him to seethe.
Hoseok glared sharply. "I think it's your cue to leave too."
"Fuckin' lightweight," Yoongi grumbled, upset that he was being kicked out before he could finish his whiskey.
"Have a good rest of your night, gentlemen," Namjoon said, slipping out of the room as quickly as he could.
Hoseok walked over to Yoongi. "Are you able to handle taking the two of them back to their room?" he asked, pointing at the tipsy Jungkook and shit-faced Jin.
Yoongi grimaced. "I'd rather shove a fork in a socket... but sure."
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"Listen to me, listen to me!" Yoongi whispered as Jungkook and Jin were on either side of him, only being supported up by Yoongi's arms around their shoulders. "Do not speak, do not stumble, do not even breathe."
Jin tripped slightly over the carpet. "Yessir," he slurred.
Yoongi grumbled in annoyance. "It's two in the fucking morning. Cut it out."
Jin collapsed. "Yessir," he mumbled against the carpet flooring.
Yoongi looked down at him. "You're on my last fucking nerve."
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Yoongi groaned as he managed to fish out his key card, swiping it against the lock and opening the door, all the while managing to drag Jungkook and Jin's limp bodies inside. They were able to walk, but were completely uncoordinated and not being very helpful.
"Get on the bed," Yoongi ordered.
Jin laughed. "Yoongi, that's dirty!" he exclaimed bashfully.
"Get on the bed." Yoongi glared at him. "Now."
"Shh, shh." Jin closed his eyes as Yoongi guided him and Jungkook to the bed. "I need to sit here and breathe slowly so the alcohol doesn't rush up to my brain."
Yoongi scoffed in exasperation. "Okay, Einstein. You know that but you can't figure out where your fucking feet are?"
"Shh, breathe with me," Jin whispered, taking Yoongi's hands in his.
"No."
"Okay," Jin replied, a little disappointed. "I love you."
"Don't."
"Okay, Jungkook." Jin turned to the younger brunette. "I love you."
Jungkook sobered up real quick.
"Jin, you need to drink some water," he mumbled, rubbing his temple for a moment.
"Electrolytes." Yoongi snapped his fingers. "He needs electrolytes."
"Like Gatorade?" Jungkook asked. "I'll run down to the store and get it."
"No, I'll go," Yoongi said. "You've still got stuff in your system so you're staying here."
"Uh, you do too."
"Yeah, well, I know how to handle my alcohol, Jungkook," Yoongi said. "Not all of us are weak bitches."
"Oh, Yoongi," Jin called. "I just wanted to let you know that you're an amazing person and I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I'm so sorry I'm like this."
Yoongi and Jungkook turned to each other again.
"Get him something to eat too," Jungkook added.
"Yeah," Yoongi replied.
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"So why did you drag me along with you again?" Hoseok asked, slipping his jacket on as he and Yoongi walked out of the hotel at two in the morning.
"Jin is shit-faced and he needs something to drink and eat," Yoongi said. "But nothing's open right now," he grumbled, scrolling through the list of closed grocery stores nearby.
"Hold on, you keep looking and I'll be right back," Hoseok said and Yoongi complied, continuing to look through his phone. Hoseok came back a moment later with a smile on his face. "So, this kind man is offering to show us where to go."
Yoongi's jaw dropped. "Hoseok," he whispered sharply. "That's a homeless guy."
Hoseok shrugged as the man started to lead them in the direction of the nearby convenience store.
"You all share a single braincell," Yoongi whispered to himself in incredulity.
━━━━━━━━
Jungkook sat on the other bed, watching Jin have a conversation with himself.
"I swear I'm soper—souper—sober," Jin corrected, giggling a little to himself. "I'm a keyboard."
Jungkook raised a brow and slowly raised his phone to record his madness.
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Yoongi impatiently waited as the cashier rang up his items. His eye twitched a little as she put on some gloves ever-so-slowly to scan all of the items. Painstakingly slow, she finished and started fishing for coins for the balance.
"Oh, I can't find another penny," she said.
"That's alright," Yoongi said.
"But you need another penny," she insisted.
"Ma'am, I don't need a penny," Yoongi said. "I need a fucking break."
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"Okay, I'm back," Yoongi breathed out, rushing into the room with his arms full of Gatorade bottles and a bag of pretzels and popcorn. He dropped Hoseok off at his room before he went back. "How is he?"
Yoongi heard a retching sound from the bathroom and he shivered.
"He's yakking it all up," Jungkook said, holding in his laughter when he heard a small whine come from the bathroom.
"I love you guys," Jin cried. "I'm so sorry."
"Jin." Yoongi entered the bathroom after dumping what he bought on the bed. "Are you feeling any better?"
"Yes." Jin looked up, dazed. His eyes were glossed over and he had stains on his shirt that made Yoongi want to die. "I feel amazing," he slurred.
He turned around to start puking again.
Yoongi sighed. "Alright, I got you some Gatorade so drink it when you're done, alright?"
Jin nodded through his excessive puking.
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"Should we take shifts and watch him?" Yoongi asked, contemplating his own suggestion in his head.
"You can sleep if you want," Jungkook said. "I can stay up and watch him."
Yoongi thought that would be heartfelt if Jungkook wasn't simply recording every stupid thing Jin did or said.
"I'll sleep for ten minutes," Yoongi mumbled, pulling the covers over him and setting his alarm for ten minutes after four.
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Jungkook decided to check up on Jin, wondering why he was taking his sweet time in the bathroom completely silent. He opened the door and froze when he saw Jin resting his head on the toilet seat, unconscious. His breathing was shallowing and he was getting pale.
"Bro, are you dead?" Jungkook asked.
Jin didn't respond.
Jungkook let out a soft gasp. "Bro."
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Jungkook shook Yoongi awake, a worried look on his face. "His breathing's shallowing and he keeps passing out... I think we should call the ambulance if it gets worse. He could have alcohol poisoning."
Jin was crying from the bathroom. "Just let me pass out, I'm sleepy," he wailed. "I'm so sorry."
Yoongi groggily looked up at Jungkook. "Oh, okay."
Yoongi fell back asleep.
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Yoongi hissed through his teeth when he stirred, immediately opening his eyes to daylight when the memories of the previous night came flooding in.
"Jin?" he asked, looking to the side and seeing him on the opposite bed. Yoongi sat up. "Jin?"
"He's asleep," Jungkook muttered from beside him.
Yoongi looked around to see an irritated, half-asleep Jungkook. He had his eyes closed but he was responding to speech somewhat.
"Shit, I fell asleep," Yoongi muttered. "What happened?"
"He stopped puking at six in the morning," Jungkook muttered. His face twisted in disgust. "He tried to hug me."
Yoongi let out a defeated sigh. "Thank god it's over." He groaned. "That bastard better be thankful."
"Oh, by the way," Jungkook started, "Jimin invited us for drinks tonight too."
"Don't even fucking consider it, you twat."
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Replace Yoongi with me, and that was basically my post prom experience.
Make smart decisions kids ❤️