There was so much commotion, so many voices. It took me a few moments but eventually, I was able to open my eyes.
What happened?
My wolf was pacing, his eagerness to run and hide was strong.
Looking around the first people I noticed were Tessa and Ellis. They were standing next to an elderly female and speaking lowly. The woman wore a black robe that enclosed her entire figure and her hair was pinned into a tight low laying bun.
I slowly started to sit up, my head throbbed and I could still hear ringing. Shaking it, I tried to get rid of the noise.
The room went quiet the moment they noticed I was awake. My eyes traveled to everyone in the room. Kain stood by the door, arms crossed over his chest, staring at me. His gaze was unnerving, his body tense. Pierce was seated on the couch with Ben standing close by, Basil and Levi were by the window. The room was crowded. Too crowded. The atmosphere was strained. My hands fisted in the blankets, the nervous habit taking control.
Why were they all here?
I looked back at Pierce and as our eyes locked it all came back to me.
His words.
Immediately my hand rose to my stomach and I felt sick.
The elderly woman watched me and took a step forward with her hands in the air. "Toby, I'm Avalon. I come from Kain's pack, I'm one of the packs Elders. I'm here to have a look at you." My stomach did a flip and I felt fear grip me. An Elder? This was my first meeting with one. My former pack didn't have Elders. I remember Alpha saying that his father had done away with them. I wasn't sure why but the pack had known that Alpha wouldn't have done it without reason. Alpha did things to ensure the pack thrived. Questioning the actions of an Alpha was unheard of.
It wasn't this woman though, who scared me. It was the very real possibility that I was housing his pup. That I had once again made another mistake.
My skin crawled.
I felt my wolf growl at me but I ignored him. I didn't know it was possible. I hadn't known that I could bare a pup after one coupling. I was ignorant.
Was that an excuse though?
I didn't want this.
"Toby, I need you to lay down." I heard the words but I was too busy panicking.
"I—I didn't know." I was chanting, my words barely audible as I pleaded. My hands flew up and gripped fistfuls of my hair and the closed feeling that I hated, came over me. My world titled and my lungs tried to fill with air.
"Toby..." His familiar voice. It's who I had been so desperate to see, who I'd begged for. I disobeyed him. I left the safety of his home. I gave myself to that wolf. I put myself into this situation. I didn't even apologize to him properly. He got injured while I ran into his arms. I was disgusting, a disgrace.
"Shh, Toby listen to me, breathe." Arms wrapped around me. Arms that had so gently held me a few nights ago. Arms that rocked me. I was in his embrace once more, my head resting on his chest. He breathed slowly trying to get me to mimic his breaths.
I didn't deserve his kindness.
I cried. Moving my hands from my hair I wrapped my arms around his torso and buried my head into his chest, trying my hardest to even out my breathing.
"That's it, you fucking idiot." His voice was light, teasing. He buried his nose into my hair and I clung onto him tighter. "Why did you leave?" His whisper hit me hard.
"Sorry." It was the only response I could muster. I was pathetic, but I wanted his comfort.
Pierce was safe. My wolf felt comfortable being in the Cats embrace. This felt right, this was where I should have stayed, I shouldn't have gone to Beta that night. I should have stayed put. Things would have been different.
After a few minutes his arms loosened and he released me. Holding me at arm's length, Pierce looked me over before letting go completely. "Let the Old fleabag check you out. We can talk after." He patted me on my head before standing up and stepping away.
I watched him retreat and had to stop myself from reaching out. I was becoming greedy, I needed to remember that I had wronged him.
I had to stop.
Avalon approached me once more and I kept my eyes trained onto Pierce. I didn't want to look away from him. I didn't want to risk him leaving me.
"Lay back." The Elders' words were warm and authoritative. I lowered myself and ensured my gaze never wavered.
Once I was down, I felt the blanket covering my lower half get moved toward my feet and my oversized shirt was moved upwards. "I'm going to examine your abdomen first. If you feel any tenderness let me know." I nodded my understanding.
Cold hands poked me in several places, feeling and putting pressure. "I just want to verify that you experienced heat like symptoms the other night, correct?" My gaze moved to her and I just stared. It had been a similar experience to my first heat, but my first heat had lasted days.
Slowly I nodded my head. "Such a young pup to be going through this." She patted my head looking at me with pity filled eyes.
Her hands went back to work applying more pressure and feeling around. I didn't like those hands. My wolf felt threatened but I kept him back. Pierce was here. My gaze traveled back to him.
I was safe.
The old lady moved from my stomach, downward. I couldn't stop myself from jumping as she started to remove my pants. "I have to check your backside. Lift your bottom," My gaze strayed once
more from Pierce as I helped Avalon pull my pants down, "Now, bring your legs up and bend them. Good, now spread." Heat burned my face in embarrassment. I wanted to cover myself from the prying eyes I felt on my bare body. I was used to being naked but this was different.
I heard a snarl that dragged my attention from the Elder to the wolf standing by the door. Kains eyes glowed amber as he looked at the other occupants in the room. "Avert your fucking eyes." He yelled to everyone and immediately all eyes turned away from me, giving me a sense of privacy. Pierce also looked away and Kain kept his eyes trained away from me watching the others to ensure no one tried to peak.
I clenched my eyes shut and spread my legs wider so Avalon could do whatever it was she needed to do.
"I'm just checking to see if you've been damaged. You are much more fragile than others your age. Your body is still malnourished and frail." Her voice was scratchy as she spoke. I felt her at my rear entrance and couldn't help but hiss in pain as she applied pressure. "Your body heals too slow. You are just about at the same healing rate as a human." She clicked her tongue in annoyance. Poking around a few more times I felt her press on the puckered hole and I couldn't contain the hiss of pain. "We will need to treat it with a salve, and in a few days, I'll do a more thorough check. You are much to tender for me to check you out without causing you more pain." I nodded and felt relieved when her hands retreated allowing me to close my legs and pull my pants back up. As I fixed myself Avalon disappeared into the bathroom.
My eyes traveled around the room. No one had looked, and even now with myself covered no one dared turn their heads toward me. I was thankful for the privacy Kain had granted me. A few moments later the Elder reappeared and came toward me once more. She grabbed a chair and pulled it up beside my bed. Sitting down I gave her a good look. Her hair was very grey, the silver hues shining as the light hit it just right. Her face was aged with few spots of brown and her eyes were grey and surrounded by wrinkles. Even in age, she seemed kind and was beautiful. Her hands had been feather-light, and her voice held wisdom. Around her neck a pendant hung, it was simple.
"Toby, I've heard a lot about you. Pierce has filled me in on some parts that Kain was unaware of." She grasped my hand and I looked over to see Pierce who had stood up and moved to the window, the spell Kain had everyone under now gone.
The window had been cleaned up. Wooden boards now placed over the opening to prevent anything from the outdoors to come in. I watched as Pierce lingered there before turning and meeting my gaze.
There was unreadable emotion in those green orbs. It made my heart sink and belly flip. I was the cause of those emotions.
I wanted to apologize.
I wanted his forgiveness.
I didn't want this thing inside me.
I didn't ask for it.
If I had known this would have been the result, I never would have left that night.
"Toby you need to calm down." My attention was averted back to Avalon. "It's not healthy for you, or your pup."
Devastation hit me hard.
It was true.
I didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be true. My hands fisted into the blankets and I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. It was in vain. My eyes stung with salty tears. I tried hard to hold them in, but when I looked up and locked eyes with Kain they unleashed.
Massive guilt.
Regret.
I didn't want this. I wasn't mated, I didn't have a pack, I was branded. I was incapable of having a pup.
"No, no, no, no!" I started chanting and shaking my head. This couldn't be real. They were lying to me again. They were all lying. They had to be. They were either lying or this was some sick and twisted dream.
"Toby.." A hand landed on my shoulder and that familiar comforting blanket attempted to wrap its arms around me. I fought it, fought the false feeling, but it was hard to deny Ellis. The feeling of warmth and comfort was something I craved.
"Calm down child, all will be well. Your male still lives, if Alpha Kain accepts you both into the pack you and Sid can mate. You will be fine." Two growls filled the room and my stomach dropped. I didn't want to be mated to Beta.
I went to him so he could kill me. I didn't want to be his mate. I didn't want to have his pup.
I didn't want that.
Everything was distorted.
This was the moons' punishment. I angered her even more. She knew I failed, knew I stepped out of her sight to end my own life only to walk out alive. I had once again disappointed her. This was all so hard.
I brought my arm up and covered my face, hiding my falling tears.
I felt no connection to this thing inside me.
My other hand moved to my lower abdomen. I touched the skin.
In there, a small pup was growing.
"It's only a heartbeat, in a few days it'll be more developed. Were pregnancy's tend to only last 4 months. We can get you an ultrasound in about a week when the pups more developed. Tomorrow you should start to hear the heartbeat." The Elder placed her hand on top of mine, giving me a small pat. I wanted to smack her. I didn't want this, I didn't want any of this. Why did her voice sound so cheerful when all I felt was dread?
She was happy. It was cruel.
I flexed the hand resting on my stomach, my claws grazed the skin.
A shot of thrill-filled me.
How easy would it be to shove my hand through the flesh?
Would it end the life inside?
Would it die, or would the moon laugh at my futile attempt?
My wolf whined, he felt a connection to the small bundle of cells, but it was instinct for him. It was a force that neither of us could control. I knew it would hurt him if I tried. However, how could I allow this thing inside me to live?
The spawn of a wolf who hated me.
This pup would be born into a harsh world. A world where love would be fleeting, where happiness was a sin and punishments were a blessing.
What kind of life would that be?
I felt the slight pinch of my claws, it didn't hurt.
Avalon had removed her hand and was now talking to Ellis about the Beta being brought up. No one had their attention on me.
More pressure.
I could do it, I could quickly end this life, maybe I would be lucky and mine would end too.
More pressure.
I felt the slight trickle of blood, my movements were slow, and no one seemed to take notice of what I was doing.
More pressure, I needed to press harder, needed to be faster. I moved the arm covering my face down so I could watch the movement of my claws. I needed to watch.
I felt the first bite of pain, causing me to flinch, as I tried to shove my clawed hand deeper. The sudden movement of my flinch caused Kain's head to whip toward me.
I didn't have time to dwell and I tried to bury my hand in more knowing that I'd been caught. I didn't want anyone to stop me, I had to do this for myself and this thing.
Kain was fast. Within a blink, he was shoving Ellis to the side and forcing my hand away.
"No!" I tried to yank my hand back down, using my other to try and continue where the former had left off.
I faintly heard a few gasps and Ellis say something but I ignored him. I had to do this.
Kain grabbed for my other hand and I growled at him.
"Toby stop this! You'll hurt yourself and the pup!" Levi yelled out, and I could only snarl and thrash. I didn't want this pup!
They were cruel. It wasn't fair! It wasn't meant to happen, why didn't they get that?
"Enough!" Kain's deep voice bellowed over the other frantic ones. Everyone went quiet and I stopped my struggles, fat tears still falling heavily.
Kain continued to hold my hands. The fight was leaving me, I was no match against his strength.
"Let go of him." A calm and deadly voice spoke out. I looked up in desperation as Pierce placed a hand on Kain's shoulder. I could feel the tense energy between the two large males.
They were both similar size but Kain had more bulk to him whereas Pierce was slimmer.
The two males stared unblinkingly at each other. "Move." Kain let out a low growl before yanking his hands away from me. I could feel his frustration, see his anger at having been shoved aside, but he wasn't who I needed.
"Tessa tend to his wound." The Elder's voice called to the healer who quickly stepped forward. I looked down at my lower stomach. Blood trickled from the five puncture wounds. It wasn't deep, it hurt but if given the chance I knew I could accomplish the task. I wouldn't hesitate.
I would accomplish it.
I looked over at Pierce who stood a bit off to the side. He hadn't touched me since my breakdown and had himself positioned so that he was in-between Kain and me. I wanted to be back in his embrace, I wanted him to tell me I'm stupid while practicing my speech. I wanted to go home.
Moving my eyes from Pierce I looked at the rest of the room. Levi was helping Tessa patch up my wound while Ellis and Avalon seemed to be in another deep conversation, talking low so I wouldn't be able to hear them. Basil and Ben stood up and moved to the door.
"We will prepare Sid and bring him up when you call," Ben spoke and my eyes went wide. I didn't want him up here, I didn't want to see him.
"No!" I yelled at them and tried to shove Tessa and Levi off of me. I wouldn't stay here if it meant I would be forced to be near Beta.
"Toby we have to, you house his pup, in order for it to grow and be healthy you must be near him." The Elder tried to reason with me as Tessa and Levi struggled to keep me still.
I looked at Pierce with frantic eyes. "Please, don't want." I cried out to him and reached for his arm. The male just stood and looked at me, his internal battle playing forth over his face.
"You don't know what you want, you're frantic and in shock." Avalon dismissed my pleas, my wolf was angry. My attempt felt like a betrayal to him, but he was both wanting to see the wolf and wanting to run from him.
"Pierce..." I pleaded to the Cat, fear truly gripping me. He didn't say anything. I was asking too much of him, I knew that.
"How about you just put Sid in the room next door? It should put him close enough for his wolf to reach but give Toby his space so he can start thinking rationally?" Levi spoke up and everyone stared at her. She was looking at me with sad eyes.
I heard the Elder sign, "It would be best for him to just accept it and have the Beta mark him."
"I will not allow it." Kain's calm voice came over the room. He had moved over to the seating area and his eyes were trained on me.
Hope-filled me.
"I refuse to allow a wolf who breaks the law to become part of my pack. He will be tried and sentenced." There was no room for argument.
"Kain you cannot! Toby needs him and so will the pup." Ellis tried to reason with Kain and I could feel the room fill with that calming effect.
"It doesn't work on me, and the law is the law. Toby made this mess and he can figure it out for himself, but I will not allow Sid to become pack. It would put too many innocent wolves at risk." He growled at his dad, raising his voice as he spoke.
Pierce turned hard eyes onto Kain. "And what about what Toby wants? He and the pup would be vulnerable without them being mates! Fucking dog shit, are you so strung out on yourself that you can't see that you'll kill him if you do that?"
Kain growled lowly and took a step forward. "Considering what he just attempted, it doesn't look like he even wants the bastard pup." Pierce let out a snarl and took his own step in Kain's direction.
"He needs the Beta dog breath."
"The pack will not suffer because the Omega messed up." Kain's words were both a relief and a stab to my gut. A reminder of my worth.
I watched as they continued to growl at each other, a bad feeling starting to engulf the room as the tense atmosphere started to reach new levels.
"Alright, Toby all done." Tessa patted my bandaged stomach and moved away from me. I didn't pay her any mind as my attention was still fixated on the two males.
"Cat I've allowed you in this house long enough, I think it's time you leave." Pierce glowered but turned and headed for the door.
Panic.
"No!" I struggled to get off the bed. He couldn't leave, not yet, not without me. I still needed to apologize, I needed him.
Levi caught me around the waist and pulled me back towards the bed. Pierce stopped and looked at me, that unreadable emotion back on his face.
"Please..." I knew I sounded pathetic, but I didn't want him to go. My wolf whined we both felt safe with him near.
"Toby, I agree with Kain, Pierce can come back tomorrow if he wishes, but I think it's best if he leaves for now." Ellis tried to reason, but I ignored him, my eyes staring into the green orbs of the Cat.
Pierce looked to Ellis, "I'll be back." Was all he said to him and then turned back and started walking for the door once more.
I felt trapped. Levi was still holding me, but I needed to convince Pierce to stay. Had to.
I turned pleading eyes to Kain who was looking away from me. Frantically I looked at the others and everyone was looking away from me, ignoring my pleas.
When Pierce stepped out the door I felt Levi's hands loosen just a bit but it was enough for me to yank free. I threw myself forward and scrambled back to my feet as I tried to run for the closing door. Ben stood there and I moved right past him and out the door. I wasn't sure if he let me go or if I was just that quick to escape his hands but I was grateful either way.
Pierce was still close and it only took me a few steps before I was able to fling my arms around his torso.
"Please, please, please." I cried into his back and clutched to him with all my might. I heard Kain right behind me, his voice was easily recognizable. "Stay, please."
"Just give him a minute Kain." I heard Ben murmur and the words felt final like I was supposed to say goodbye.
I didn't want to see him leave.
I didn't want Pierce to go.
Large hands encased my own and he slowly untangled my arms and turned around until we were facing each other.
I buried my head into his chest and yanked my hands from his and wrapped him back around him. I wouldn't let him go.
I almost cried out in relief when he started to return the hug, his head coming to rest on top of mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes before he moved his hands to my shoulder and slowly pushed me back. I looked up into his eyes.
"Please, Pierce stay." A hand came up and cupped my face gently before his face grew closer to mine. I felt my heart skip a slight beat and my eyes focused on his lips.
I could still remember how his lips felt on mine.
I could still remember the feelings he ignited within me.
I ignored the snarl from behind me and stood on my toes to close the distance between our lips. The kiss was desperate.
The moment our lips met the intensity I felt come from the Cat had me panting. Lips and teeth clashed, tongues intertwined. It was sloppy and full of too much emotion. My lungs burned for air, and all too soon I felt the man pull away from me.
He rested his forehead on mine as we both breathed in air. Chest heaving, the attraction and need for each other well known.
His hands clenched hard on my shoulders and as his eyes closed he moved his lips to my ear.
"I wanted you to stay, but you were the one to walked out on me first." His voice was icy, and my eyes went wide.
I wasn't sure what happened after he spoke those words but I just remember a sound like bones cracking and my legs going weak, and only one memory that surfaced to remind me just how true his words were.
"Don't you dare think about leaving."
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AN: surprise! I'm on a roll with chapters this week. Three 😱! That's a lot for me considering my schedule is so full, but I had this chapter done awhile ago just had to fix it so it wasn't so sad. Although, it might still be pretty bad. At least I gave you all some type of action between Pierce and Toby. Silver-lining? Maybe.
So there, everyone should be happy this week. Bambi with two chapters(still need to get the second one up) and AO with an update when not scheduled. (and a long chapter as well.)
Yay!
Well, I'll see y'all next week!
Comments and votes give me inspiration and smiles. ❤️