400 Days After Fina by JellOfAllTrades
Chapter 3
I wake up early without the help of my phone's alarm. When your business relies on you to be always present, you start a habit of waking up early. Eventually, your body becomes attuned to your daily schedule that you'll learn to wake up before your phone starts ringing. I turned my phone alarm off several months ago, not just because my body has become attuned to my morning routine, but because I either don't get to sleep the night before or I regularly get bad dreams that make me wake up early.
Some would think I'm a committed person for always being present for my company. Some would think I'm a hard worker, because no matter how exhausted I feel and look, I always show up to my meetings, and I always tried my best to get there earlier than most. Some would think that I'm very hands-on with the workings of my company because I took my time getting to know everyone I'm working with. Some people look up to me and idolize me for my work ethic, often, I get asked, "why do you work so hard?" And I would only smile because I'm not working hard, I'm just working so that I can get my mind off her.
Of course, I get a little bit of what I want. For most of the day, I would be so occupied that I can't even think about my own needs. But when the day ends and it's time for me to go home to my little condo unit, all I would be thinking about is her. What she would feel about my work, what she would say about the people I'm working with, and her constant reminder for me to slow down and take care of myself. I always end up telling her I can't stop.
Today, I get up with purpose. I promised Aunt Arlene I'll come with her to the school this morning. And I'm still thinking about whether I'll personally pick the teachers that will be handling the orphans when I finished my breakfast and got into the van with her and Mamita. Both are talking about school administration stuff while I stare out of the window.
When the driver parked the van in front of the school, my first thought about the facade was how much it resembled an old church. The walls are all plain grayish-brown cement with black inscribed lines that made it look like the walls are made of huge cement blocks. To complement the plain walls, the gates and window grills are also painted black. The building looks like it's been there for a long time, and if I didn't know better, I would have asked the locals for the school's non-existent history.
Colegio Folloso De Tayabas a large simple sign said on the building. Embossed beside the sign is the school's logo.
"It looks so simple and old," I mutter. "You guys could build a church right beside it and no one would bat an eye."
Mamita chuckled at what I said. "It's also easier to maintain. Modern houses and buildings have this annoying white or plainly colored exterior that you need to repaint every two or so years. By making it just plain cement, you eliminate the cost of repainting."
I look at Mamita and see not an old lady but a businesswoman who knows how to put her money to good use.
"We aimed for an old-looking design kasi the older the institution is, the more likely people will respect and be confident about it. Pero sa labas lang naman mukhang luma yung building."
Aunt Arlene lead us inside the front gate and stopped before the carefully manicured lawn of the central courtyard. Diagonal pathways dissected the courtyard leading to multiple sections of the buildings surrounding it. It all looks so clean and well designed.
"Naka-disenyo yung daan for the fastest way to cross one side to another," Aunt Arlene explained. "Gusto sana nila Janus igaya yung ideya sa mga hallways ng building kaso masyadong magastos saka magiging irregular yung sizes ng classrooms."
"Janus contributed to the design?" I asked, surprised that the Cavite branch of the Folloso family had a say on the architecture. "Akala ko nag-hire kayo ng outsiders for the school?"
"We asked for Janus' opinion," Mamita answered. "And he was happy to help. Medyo nagtampo pa nga siya na hindi sila ang kinuha naming architects."
I nodded but thought about what more the other family branches could have contributed to the school construction.
"These are the elementary and high school buildings so classrooms are like this," Aunt Arlene approached one door on the right building and opened it revealing a clean and modern looking classroom. Immediately I am reminded of my university days in Manila.
"High school? It looks like a college classroom." I said as I enter the room.
Mamita chuckled behind me. "Exactly. Pwede rin to gamitin ng college students."
I looked around, impressed that the room has a computer system and a connected projector. The chairs don't look cheap either. I turn to face Mamita, wondering about how much they shelled out for each room. "How many rooms are there on a floor per building?"
"Eight to fifteen rooms. Seven buildings, five floors each." Aunt Arlene answered for me.
I quickly computed the number of rooms. That's seventy-five classrooms a building at most. For seven buildings, that's more than five hundred. "And how much did the room equipment cost?"
"Can you guess?" Mamita asked, giving me a challenging smirk.
"Does the computer have the latest components?"
Mamita just kept on giving me that slightly intimidating smirk, waiting for me to make a guess. But I don't feel like entertaining her challenge. I know the Folloso family is well connected and has very deep pockets, but there's always a catch. There's always something dark behind my family's businesses. For every child that will enter this room and get enlightened about the world, there will be another child, another person whose light in the world had been snuffed by our family. Which is why I've made sure to keep my own business away from the family empire.
I give Mamita a smile, a nod and then I take a step out of the classroom. I don't want to play her game. Whether or not I know how expensive the whole school is, all she wants is to flaunt it to me, and hopefully, it will convince me to take control of it in the future. Aunt Arlene followed me and so does Mamita.
I'm not entirely sure that I upset her by not playing her game because as soon as we left the room, Mamita called for the driver hanging at back so she can excuse herself and proceed to the President's office. With the driver's assistance, Mamita hobbled away and I was left with my aunt to continue the school tour.
"Alam mo, she wanted you to name the school." Aunt Arlene told me as soon as Mamita was out of sight.
"Huh?"
"Colegio Folloso de Tayabas was the name decided by everyone, pero kung nag-pitch ka ng name for the school, she would have listened to you."
I blink and look at my aunt. She's smiling but she looks like she's not happy about the story she just told me. Not saying anything in reply, Aunt Arlene accepted my silence and just waved her hand for me to follow her.
We crossed the courtyard and through one of the buildings that she told is part of the high school department. On the other side, there is a large field, a good two-thirds of the field is the land I managed to purchase from the town mayor. Surrounding the sides of the field are three buildings. There's one on the right side and two buildings on the left connected by a bridgeway on the third floor.
"Bakit di pa pinagdikit yung buildings?" I asked, jutting a thumb at the direction of the left buildings.
"Just for a bit of symmetry." Aunt Arlene answered and pointed on the right side of the field. "We're open for another building on the right side but to keep the aesthetic while that place is still empty, we separated the building on the left."
"Nice,"
Aunt Arlene led me to the right building and told me it's specifically for graduate studies with the floors separating the business programs from the art programs. She also told me they managed to source professors from colleges and universities around Luzon, thanks largely to Mamita's connection with the Department of Education and Commission on Higher Education.
After looking at the state-of-the-art classrooms on the right building, we proceeded to the left buildings which Aunt Arlene says are for the undergraduate students. One building is for arts and sciences programs and the other is for business programs.
I so wanted the school to have other science and technology programs but with the current structure and equipment, we're not capable of having STEM courses. On the other hand, at least we can focus our attention on building a reputation with our current programs and at least we have room for expansion.
Aunt Arlene took me to see some of the computer laboratories and then we made our way back to the administration building. The interview for the applying teachers are scheduled for nine-thirty, and I have about ten more minutes to figure out if I want to be the one to hire the teacher for my scholars myself.
It's not that I haven't conducted interviews before but I'm somewhat reluctant because it would mean I would have a direct hand on how my scholars would be treated. And if I wish it, I can even handle the teacher myself, sending instructions from Manila and checking up on them regularly. Knowing Mamita, she would even encourage it--just so she can get me somewhat contributing to the family business.
Fina would also probably have a hard time advising me on the issue if she learns why I'm so adamant about avoiding the family business. With the fame that goes with the Folloso family, I won't be surprised if she has already heard some rumors about us before she met me. Except she met me such a long time ago. She may have not written it on her diary but seeing how borderline obsessed she was with seeing me again, she may have tried to learn everything she can about our family in hopes of hearing about me again.
I bit the inside of my cheeks as we entered the president's office and there's a whole row of applicants waiting on chairs in front of the secretary's desk. The secretary quickly stood up to greet us and politely opened the door to let us in Mamita's personal office. Inside, we find my grandmother seated behind a large narra desk, reading a folder. She looked up from the folder and smiled warmly at me.
"Jellane, would you like to interview the applicants?"
I smiled at her and imagined Fina standing beside her.
Would Fina want me to choose who will teach her beloved kids in the orphanage or would she want me as far away from the Folloso empire as much as I can possibly go?
"Who's your best candidate po ba?" I ask Mamita, guessing that the folder she's holding contains some information about the applicants, maybe their resumes.
"There's one here that has a Masters in Elementary Mathematics, another that is taking her Masters for Elementary Science and, interestingly, Angelica Mercadejas, a very nice girl that just recently graduated college."
I frown, recognizing the name but cannot pinpoint where I know the name from. "Fresh grad? How is she one of your best candidates compared to the other two?"
"Magaling mag-handle ng bata, mabait at masipag. Napapanuod ko na siya sa maglead ng Bible study at magturo sa church. Medyo below average nga lang ang GWA niya." Mamita explains. "What do you think?"
I exhaled, finally making my decision. Fina would probably understand whatever I choose anyway.
"I'll see her third then,"
Mamita's penciled eyebrows rose in slight surprise. "Ikaw magi-interview?"
"Just for my scholars. Then I'll tell you who else you can accept for the school itself."
"Wonderful!" Mamita exclaimed, passing the folder to me. "Eto mga resume nila. I'll give you some time to review it bago tayo magsimula."
My shoulders sag in defeat as I accept the folder. This is the first time I've lent a hand for the school and if I'm not careful, it could very well be the trigger that would make Mamita think she has her clutch on me once more.
"It's all right, Mamita. I'll review this for a couple of minutes and then I'll call the applicant in."
Mamita smiles proudly at me and from my peripheral, I saw Aunt Arlene's secretly disapproving look.
Because of Mamita's favoritism, I have been subjected to my family's jealousy. I always got the best gifts from her, the most attention and the most affection, stuff that I generally ignored and did not miss during the years she got mad at me for being a lesbian. It's not that I'm taking Mamita for granted but other than her tutoring me after my classes back in high school, her attitude towards me never really did me much good. If her treatment went through my head, I would probably be a spoiled and entitled kid.
"Are you going to watch?" I ask them.
"Okay lang ba?"
I gritted my teeth. "That might intimidate the applicant. I want them comfortable when I ask my questions."
Mamita's penciled eyebrows rose again and I saw Aunt Arlene smirk as if I stepped on the wrong line. I just kept my posture and waited for Mamita's decision.
After studying me for a few moments, she finally nodded which earned a surprised gaze from my Aunt. I wanted to smile at my small victory, but I shouldn't show any smugness if I don't want any more family issues to arise.
"Very well," Mamita stood up from her chair and gestured for me to sit. I remain standing. I thought I would be interviewing the applicants in a different room.
"I'll walk you to the door," I say, smiling at Mamita so she won't think I'm rude for refusing to sit. "Where can I find you later?"
"Sa conference room siguro. I want to talk to Arlene alone."
I keep a straight face despite wanting to smirk. Aunt Arlene looks like she was just electrocuted. Maybe I wasn't the only one who saw her silent reactions earlier.
Mamita gestured for Aunt Arlene to leave the room as she shuffled her way around the giant narra desk. I offered my arm so I can escort her to the door and she gladly accepted it.
"I'm glad you're doing this," she quietly said to me, almost a whisper.
"I'm doing it for the kids," I answer, also in a low voice.
"Still, I'm happy," Mamita says. "You should take over when I'm gone."
I swallow the vomit I tasted in my mouth. "Mamita, don't say that."
"I'm not getting any younger, Jellane." She said my name in that scolding tone but managed to put some sort of adoration into it. Sometimes I wonder how she does that. Because I never really hear her use that tone on any other of my cousins or even her own children. It's like that tone is especially used for me. "When I die, I want you to take over for me."
I take a deep breath. "I'm honored. Pero alam niyong nasa Manila po ang buhay ko. Wala dito sa Calauag."
"Then move here!" Mamita exclaimed as if Manila is only a few blocks away from Calauag. "Hija, there's no one else in this family that I trust more to succeed with the business than you."
"Uncle Rannie would get upset when he hears that,"
"Oh, yung tito mong yun? He's a fool. Just like his brothers. At least yung nanay mo matino-tino pa."
I close my eyes, trying to remain calm. She has never talked about her children this way before. Well, not with me anyway.
"When I die, mag-aagawan silang lahat sa kayamanan ko and our family would be torn apart. If I give everything to you, at least I know it will all remain intact."
"And they will all hate me for it," I say as we finally reach the open door. "I don't want that, Mamita."
Mamita just exhales and let go of my arm. "While you're here in Calauag, think about it. Because I won't offer it again."
I nod and she makes her way to the other door. I look at the five waiting applicants and recognize the youngest of them.
Angel smiles brightly at me.
I close the door of Mamita's private office and let out a sigh. Closing my eyes when I see dark spots dance across my eyesight, I hold on the doorknob in case my knees suddenly give up on me. It won't be the first time I would pass out after a tough encounter with some big client.
After a few seconds, I open my eyes and see clearly. After a blink, Fina suddenly comes into view, sitting on the large narra desk. She's leaning on her arms behind her back and her legs are crossed, her right foot pointing at me.
"You're scared."
"Of what?" I say in my mind, knowing that if someone hears me outside, they would think I'm going crazy.
"Of Angel."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
I make my way to the narra desk and pick up the folder containing the applicants' resumes. "I don't have any reason to be scared of her."
"Alam mo, Jell. If you would only stop denying things mas mapapadali ang buhay mo."
I open the folder and pick up Angelica Mercadejas' resume.
"She's just like me, you know," Fina says.
"I don't want anyone like you," I mutter, hearing my own voice shake. "I want you."
"Bitawan mo na ako," she pleads. "I'm not good for you."
"You're the only one good for me." I close my eyes and keep my voice low. "You're the only one I've ever loved like this."
"And that love is killing you."
I open my eyes so that I can look at her, but I find no one. I'm all alone in Mamita's private office, clutching Angel's resume, and wishing the pain in my chest would leave me. If only she didn't die, then maybe I won't feel like a living corpse every fucking day.
Fumbling through the contents of the folder, I look for the two applicants that Mamita mentioned and slipped Angel's resume to the back. I'll interview her last. Just so I won't be rattled for the other two applicants.
I scanned the first resume and made mental notes of what I will ask her. Feeling a little uneasy, I finally decide there's no use making them wait any longer. I pick up the intercom and buzzed for the secretary to let in Ms. Rose Pajaro and to make me a cup of coffee.
* * *
"Thank you," I tell Mr. Mabini, standing up to offer him my hand. "I'll let the President know about you and they'll make the final decision regarding your application. They should call you back within this week."
"No problem, Ms. Folloso." He stood up and shook my hand.
"It's actually Ramos. Folloso is my middle name," I correct him.
"Sorry,"
"It's all right."
I walk him to the door and when he got out of the office, I lean on the door frame, feeling like my knees would give up on me if I stand for too long.
"Okay lang po kayo?" The secretary asks, worried. I've yet to ask for her name. She seems nice.
"I'm fine," I answer and finally turn to look at the final applicant. "Ms. Mercadejas?"
"Po?"
I stand up straight, holding the doorknob for support. "Come on in,"
Angel stands up and swings her backpack on. I frown when I realize that unlike her competitors who showed up in full business attire, Angel turned up wearing semi-formal clothes.
"Good morning, Ms. Folloso-Ramos." She cheerily greeted me when she passed by.
"Good morning, Ms. Mercadejas," I return the greeting and gestured for her to take the seat in front of the desk. "You're in a good mood. Aren't you nervous?"
She raised her eyebrows at me. "Why would I be?"
"Isn't this your first interview out of college?"
She cocks her head to the side and smiles widely at me. "Yeah. First interview ko. Pero di naman ako dapat kabahan. Kilala kita."
Out of nowhere, I see Fina's illusion come into view. She teasingly smiles at me and perches herself on the arm of Angel's chair.
"Ms. Angelica, you may know me personally, but you don't know what I'm like when I'm working."
"Dito ka na nagta-trabaho?" She asked, surprised.
I grit my teeth. "No."
"Oh,"
"Anyway," I take my seat on Mamita's chair and opened the folder containing all the resumes of the applicants. I take her resume from the very back and placed it on the front. "Mamita spoke highly of you, pero ang baba ng GWA mo. Why is that?"
Angel smiled shyly at me. "Uhh...Di kasi ako magaling sa theoretical. I'm more of a practical type. So yung mga tinuturo nila sa amin, di ko masyado naiintindihan unless nalalaman ko kung para saan at kung paano ko yun magagamit sa pagtuturo."
I nod and take note of what she said on a separate piece of paper.
"Si Fina yung magaling sa theoretical at sa practical." She added.
I stop writing and look at her. "No need to mention your friend."
She frowns at me, her round eyes reminding me of Fina's. "Kaibigan mo rin naman siya ah?"
Taking a deep breath, I look away from her and turn my attention to her resume. Concentrate, Jell. You can do this!
"You're pretty active in school," I say, reading through her extra-curricular. "But I don't see that many certifications here."
"Wala kasi kaming pang-seminar." She admits, looking embarrassed. "Yung mga libre at yung mga mura lang ang napupuntahan ko."
"That's all right. Wag ka mahiya. Mabuti ka nga nakatapos eh."
Unlike Fina.
"Ikaw ba?"
"Ha?"
"Graduate ka na ba?"
I frown at her. Is she for real? Does she seriously think I haven't finished my studies yet?
"Di ba business kinukuha mo sa Manila?"
"I graduated summa cum laude with a double degree in economics," I answer, offended. "Nakapasa ka na ba ng LET?"
Angel blinks at my question. "Ahh, hindi pa."
"So wala ka pang lisensya?"
She shook her head.
I look away, annoyed. How the hell did this girl manage to get to my grandmother's good side without any academic achievements? Surely, attending the occasional Bible studies aren't enough to get Mamita's attention?
I close the folder and look at Angel straight in the eye. "So, kung mababa ang grades mo at wala ka pang lisensya, what makes you think you're good enough to be hired?"
Angel straightens up, obviously disgruntled by my question but not backing out of it. "Kasi mahal ko yung propesyon ko. Gusto ko yung ginagawa ko. Naniniwala akong ang kabataan ang pag-asa natin at kung kaya kong makagawa ng pagbabago kahit sa isang bata lang, gagawin ko."
I take a quick glance at my hallucination of Fina. Angel's answer sounds like something Fina would say.
"What makes you different from every other teacher out there?"
"I believe our educational system is broken." She answers. "Nagtuturo ang mga teachers ngayon para makapag-comply sa mga pinapagawa sa kanila regardless if the students learn or not. Maganda yun, pero dapat nagtuturo tayo para may matutunan yung mga bata na magagamit nila in real life."
"So how would you do that?"
"Focus on the kids that are being left behind." She says, serious now. "Madalas sila yung mga pasaway, yung mga makukulit. Pero kahit anong hirap nilang turuan, alam kong walang taong pinanganak na bobo. May iba't ibang specialization lang tayo. Kung anong ikinahina nila sa mga aralin nila, alam kong meron silang katalinuhan sa ibang bagay."
I smirk. "You're too idealistic, Angel."
"Wala namang masama maging idealistic."
"We have to be realistic," I tell her, leaning forward so I can emphasize my words better. "This school needs to produce intelligent graduates in order to be successful."
"The best schools aren't the ones who accept good students and produce good graduates, it's the schools that accept poor students and turn them into great people."
I stare at her, taking all her features in. She has long black hair that is pulled into a high ponytail. She has thin eyebrows that are clearly shaved but is now growing back. Her eyes are round and a really dark shade of brown, almost black, kind of like Fina's. She also has the same small nose and lips. But unlike Fina who kept her style simple, Angel is wearing an awful shade of dark red lipstick that does not suit her at all. If I knew any better the lipstick is probably a gift as she doesn't seem to be wearing any other kind of make-up other than that of her eyebrow liner.
Angel smiles, which made me remember Fina more. They have the same smile. A smile that looks like she knows way more than she lets on. It's half shy and half teasing.
I lean on the back of the chair, feeling really exhausted.
"You're interesting, Angel." I finally tell her. She beams but I only scowl. "Unfortunately, I'm looking for a more experienced teacher."
"Okay," she dejectedly said.
"I'm sorry, but you are quite promising." I stand up and offer her my hand. "Come back next year after you get your license and I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."
She stands up and accepts my hand. "I look forward to next year, Ms. Ramos."
I nod and escort her to the door.