My heart stopped in my chest as he laughed again, nodding his head and biting his lip.
"You..." I stuttered, my mouth opening and closing a few times as I tried to get words out, taking time to process what he was saying. "You want Rose? What the fuck does that mean?"
He rolled his eyes, showing me the pictures he took of Rose and I at the restaurant the other night, and my heart sank. We were smiling at each other in one of them, and then she was on my lap as we were laughing in the next one.
"This one's my favourite," Q growled as he flipped to the next.
My hands were on her ass as she straddled my waist, our lips locked together. He laughed, I shakily sighed.
"So, lemme be more specific," he cleared his throat, stepping back and sliding his phone back into his pocket. "I don't give a shit if you keep seeing Rose. It ain't that deep for me about either of you, I got a girl at home anyways."
He smiled as he glanced down the corridor again before looking into the hotel room behind me.
"And I know she's your girl. So... I guess, essentially, I'm asking for a hall pass."
My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to stay calm, but I felt my skin start to heat up.
"A hall pass? What, are we fucking 9? The hell does that mean?"
He laughed loudly, shaking his head.
"Oh, Billie. You're so cute," he ruffled my hair as I smacked him away, the fake smile still plastered onto his lips. "I'll call Steve. I'll get Rose back on the tour, I'll tell him you've broken it off. But..."
He licked his lips, wandering closer to me as he looked down the hall, murmuring into the dead silence.
"She's staying with me. In my hotel room. And... Because you've given me a hall pass..." He raised his eyebrows, smiling and stepping back, his crossed arms indicating that that was the end of his proposition.
I looked at him for a second, dumbfounded, before trying to voice my thoughts. "You do realise... If you're saying you want my permission to sleep with Rose, that even if I said yes, she'd say no? You know that right?"
He laughed, scratching the back of his neck as he shook his head.
"I'm not saying that's gonna happen. I obviously won't force myself onto her, I ain't that kinda guy. But, she stays with me, and... Whatever happens, happens."
My heart continued to beat as quick as can be, loud in my ears, when suddenly I felt a delicate hand on my back.
Q looked next to me as he lit up, leaning in for a hug with Rose as she hesitantly hugged him back quickly, stepping behind me slightly when he pulled away.
I saw her tugging at the bottom of the hoodie, trying to cover her legs, as Q smirked at her.
"You look beautiful tonight, Rose."
I started shaking with anger as I clenched my jaw, Rose awkwardly glancing at me before clearing her throat, looking anywhere but at Q.
"Um, thanks."
A horrible mix of tension and awkward silence surrounded us, and Q whistled as he pulled his phone out again, handing it to me with the photos open as Rose gasped next to me.
"So... What do you say?"
Sighing, I knew what I had to do. My shaky hands began to delete all four photos permanently as Q grinned, biting his lip as I felt Rose stand behind me a bit more.
"Okay, so, I'll call Steve in the morning and get her back on tour, and then we'll arrange some hotel room changes tomorrow, too. Nice night, ladies!"
And with that, he bounded down the corridor, smile on his face, hands in his pockets.
Rose sighed from behind me as I stared at the wall in front, and I felt her arms wrap around my waist as her cheek pressed against my back.
"Well," her soft voice filled the corridor, and my eyes stung at how my heart fluttered. "I take it that wasn't good news."
•
We spent the rest of the night talking about what was going to happen.
Rose said that it was alright, that the deal wasn't actually that bad. She obviously wouldn't do anything with him and, worst comes to worst, has to do a little PR.
She was just trying to keep me calm, though. I heard her voice shaking.
She had just finished packing up the last of her stuff as I watched her from the bed.
I felt a tear involuntary roll down my cheek as I quickly wiped it away, but Rose didn't miss it, and I was immediately surrounded by her.
"Billie, baby," she whispered into my hair, pressing a kiss to my head as I hid my face in my hands. "We've still got each other, okay? This isn't the end, this isn't the end."
She wiped my tears away as they kept coming, and I saw her shaking her head as her voice got a little more desperate, but never lost the gracefulness that came with her every word.
"I promise you, this isn't the end."
She sighed, looking out of the window in thought as her hands still cupped my cheeks, and I tried to calm down.
"I'm so fucking sorry, Bil."
I furrowed my eyebrows, sniffing and wiping my eyes as I pressed a quick kiss to the palm of her hand.
"It's not your fault, baby."
"I know, I know. I just," her eyes became a little glossy as she looked up, trying to keep her composure. "I feel so awful. We can do it, keep it a secret, but we shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to. We'll get you out of here, okay? We'll find new management and we'll tell Finneas and get rid of Q and Steve and all of those gross old guys who think they have a say in your life. Okay?"
More tears streamed down my cheeks as I nodded, resting my forehead against her shoulder.
"Why're you crying, Billie?" She cooed, one hand sliding into my hair and the other stroking my back, rocking us side to side ever so slightly.
My quiet sobs racked my body as I clung to the girl, hearing her soft words of comfort fill my ears.
I knew we could do it. I knew this wasn't the end.
It just felt awful. Agreeing to hide yourself. Keeping yourself a secret, deleting photos that seem so dangerous and scandalous when, in reality, they're not. At all.
How come other celebrities get nudes leaked and underwear shoots published, but the second a photo of two girls being cute and in love in a restaurant gets taken, it's such a huge deal?
Wait, I didn't mean to say in love.
Or...
Well, did I? I hadn't really thought about it until now.
My heart sped up as I sat upright, wiping my eyes and sniffling, trying to calm myself down enough to speak as Rose watched me with never-faltering patience.
I grasped her hoodie in my shaking fists as she smiled softly, a little, breathy laugh escaping her mouth.
"I love you."
Before she could react, I carried on, my voice shaking but my fists still balled up into her hoodie.
"I love you. I do. I want you. I want to wake up and see your sleepy eyes looking back at me, I want to go to sleep knowing you're there next to me. I want you to be there throughout everything that I do, I want to do everything to make you proud of me, I want to have a life with you," I started to get worked up again as I looked at her glossy eyes through my own, and she smiled as my lip wobbled, our soft laugher interrupting my words.
"I love you, Rose. So fucking much."
She laughed again, wiping her eyes as she pulled me into her, crashing her lips against my own, us both becoming teary, smiling messes.
"I love you too, Eilish," she murmured against my lips, giggling as I fell backwards against the bed, kissing her again.
The hotel room was filled with bittersweet emotion, cheeks stained with tears of stress and anger were covered up with tears of excitement and contentment, and we existed in our own little world for the rest of the night, like we always do.
We've got this.
We've totally got this.
•
i love y'all don't hate me oops