[Cole]
It was very strange to meet and talk to Kim yesterday, it brought me back so many memories from a time that cannot come back.
I had always been very close to my mom, she was sweet, patient, kind... I know anyone would say nice things about their parents when they are no longer alive, but it was not just me, everyone who had met my mom, would agree with me.
I can't remember one single time I heard my mom screaming or losing her temper, I know sometimes she was in her limit, and she would just walk away, and breath... She did try, very hard, to teach me the skill of self-control when I got into trouble at school for getting into a fight with some bullies, but I have never learned.
I felt she was always by my side even when I did wrong, she would tell off, and she would show me disappointment, but she would enforce the fact that no matter how wrong I would be, would never change her love for me.
When she dies, my fountain of endless love die with her, losing her was like losing a part of me, and I don't think I would ever be able to feel whole again.
I was sitting at the rooftop of the monastery, in the cold breeze, lost in my thoughts when Lloyd suddenly join me. Being the only two singles in the group means sometimes we feel out of tune with the rest. Today Skylor is here, and the 3 couples are cooking together, I can only hope there will be cake later.
-"Hey! How are you hanging in there?" - I asked Lloyd. As much as I dislike the evil princess I can understand his feelings.
-"I am not bad! But, I don't feel like watching loving birds making out in the kitchen" - He jokes.
-"Me neither, I just hope what is coming after would be worth getting down from the roof."
-"There will be cake Cole, that much I can tell you, 3 different flavours, one from each couple, and I heard they said you will have to judge the best"
-"Huuuuum.... I can wait!!"
-"But, seriously man, how are you feeling? You know you can talk to me. I know exactly what is like to lose someone you love."
-"Well, I have been thinking about that, like, I don't believe we can compare your lost to mine, you see, you lost someone that stand by your side for how long? 15 or 16 years."
-"I was just about 16 when mom dies"
-"And she was always there for you, there was never doubt how much she loved you"
-"No, never! She was my everything."
-"You have lost far more! We can not compare - Did I love Harumi? - Yes, I did, now I know I did love her very much, and I am not afraid to say how much I felt for her. I know it was stupid, but I can't help. Did she ever love me? -No, she didn't, she was unable to feel love, she told me that herself, and as much as I would like to believe that if we have had a second chance it would be different, it is never going to happen now, she is gone. And the only thing I can do is accept that and move on with my life."
-"Good words, still easier said than done!"
-"Come on Cole, you know I am a good learner"
-"True" - I give him my bear hug, and messy with his hair.
-"Hey, stop that, I am not a kid anymore."
-"Well little bro, for us you will always be the kid."
-"Ah-ha-ha! Very funny! - but, why are you here feeling a bit blue - and I don't mean Jay's blue!"
We both laugh.
-"I met this girl yesterday..."
-"Oh no! Don't get a girlfriend, I don't think I can handle another pair of love birds in the kitchen"
-"NO! I met this girl, but not like that, she is the daughter of one of my father's bandmate, annoying brat from my childhood, well, she and her brother, the one that just dies from leukaemia, you know, the one I mentioned before? - My mom used to look after both of them when we were kids, Kim, the girl from last night, remind me of lots of moments we had with mom, that somehow I had forgotten, and now is all coming back."
-"So, this girl, Kim, kind of place you in a memory lane, and now you are missing your mom even more."
-"Yes, very much."
-"Well, I don't know how you feel, but I am here for you! OK?"
And now it was me getting the hug...
-"Thanks! - Hey, talking about girls, weren't you going to introduce me to the Doctor? - The one that thinks Cole is the best." - I joke.
-"No!"
-"Why not?"
-"I just told you, I can't handle another pair of love birds in the kitchen..." - we laugh again - "She was here last night."
-"Oh... Did I missed the chance?"
-"Yes, you did... I don't know if I will ever going to see her again."
-"Why not?"
-"Well... I'm just not expecting to spend time in the hospital any time sooner again."
-"It doesn't need to be in the hospital."
-"Are you suggesting me to ask her on a date?"
-"If that is why you don't want to introduce me to her." - He goes unexpectedly quiet, but there is a smile in the corner of his face.
To be honest, I don't think he actually heard me, and even know he hasn't noticed yet, something is already changing in his heart. And I am genuinely happy for him, even if that means to have another pair of love birds in the kitchen....