I had four out of the five whales identified that afternoon when Logan headed out to do his seal watch without me. Judging by the fluke size, the remaining whale was much smaller than the others, and I imagined that it was just a calf.
Soon, I'd get their health results back, and I'd be able to get a better sense of who these whales were, but until then, the identity of the last one was my top priority. It could have easily been one that hadn't yet been identified, and that was the ideal situation for me. I had a cute plan in mind if that was the case.
Logan told me that he had another name in mind for a whale, and to get us back on track, I'd ask him for his suggestion. But, of course, that would only work if I couldn't find the last whale in the database. I was willing to put my fear aside for our sake, but I wasn't willing to lie about whales and their identities. I had to draw the line somewhere.
The baby whale had a mostly white fluke with an X printed in black toward the bottom and spots near the top. Depending on the photo, the X could have been easily cut out, so I had to make sure that the spots didn't line up with any of the other whales in the database.
Even though I had another task that needed more of my attention, I still thought that there wasn't any definitive way to determine whether Logan was even telling the truth about his feelings for me and lack thereof for Morgan, but I'd have to find that out eventually.
The sun shone through the window, and I let out a sigh. Baby whale needed a name. I had to get the job done.
I picked up my laptop and headed out the door to the seal watchtower. Outside, the rocks were drier than normal, and gulls squawked at me as I passed by.
"Oh, quiet down. I haven't hurt any of you, so stop being so threatened all the time," I muttered, even though they certainly couldn't understand me. Their babies had just learned to fly, and they must have thought I was a hazard or something.
I climbed up the ladder to the top, and surely enough, there sat Logan, scribbling down seal counts and weather conditions. He didn't notice me, so I peered into the room from the ladder for an extra moment.
He ran his fingers along the part of his hair that I cut. Even though the difference in length was noticeable, he never really made a big deal out of it. Of course, I cut his hair, then asked him if he was actually in love with another girl, so maybe that had something to do with it, but he handled the hair situation better than I thought he would.
Maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought I did.
I took in a breath, then climbed the last few rungs and hoisted myself up into the seal tower. I brushed off the dirt that collected on my dark turtleneck and cleared my throat.
Logan looked over at me but didn't say a word. Instead, he shifted over, making room for me on the bench next to him.
I took that spot. "Hi."
"Rea."
He really wasn't making this any easier on me.
"How are the seals?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Pretty much the same as always."
I didn't say anything for a moment. The seals rested on the rocks just like they did when Logan and I were beginning to figure each other out, and everything was new and exciting and terrifying. Now it was just terrifying.
"The reason I came up here is that I actually have a question I'd like to ask you. There's—" I began, but Logan interrupted.
"You didn't actually think I would ever pull some shit like that, did you? I mean, I know I'm not a nice person and shit, but I figured you knew that I'm not the type to just—" He trailed off. "No, you should talk. I'm just gonna make things worse."
I forced a smile onto my face. "You were doing fine."
"All I can say is that I didn't want to deal with this right now," he continued.
"Then when?"
"After we didn't say anything to each other, then somehow magically everything is fine, and we get back to just regular, boring us."
"Sounds great, Logan, but I don't think that's gonna work. Look, I just want to know what the deal is. Am I as important to you as I want to be?"
"Would it make you feel any better if I told you the whole story?"
I nodded. "Yeah, probably. Maybe. I don't know."
"It's really not that complicated. I asked her to be my girlfriend when we were around ten—" He was interrupted by my phone ringing. "You can answer that."
I looked down at the screen, and it was my dad. I put the phone up to my ear. "Thanks, Logan. Hello?"
"Reagan, the internet's down again, and me and your mom don't know what those damn prickly things in the ocean are called," my dad said.
I blinked a couple times. "So you called me? I can't fix the internet from here."
"What are the damn prickly things called?"
"Oh," I said with a laugh. That made a lot more sense. "I think you guys are thinking of urchins."
"Urchins, right. Thanks, Reagan. I have to go since your brothers are being urchins, but we can have a better conversation later. I love you," my dad said, and before I could ask why my brothers were urchins, he hung up. I stared at the dark screen for a moment, then looked up at Logan.
"So anyway, she and I—" Logan began, but I interrupted.
"He thinks I know enough about the ocean to be a sufficient replacement for Google." I pressed my hands to my chest. "This is the best day of my life."
"Rea," Logan said, and I hummed in response. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I shrugged, but the smile wouldn't leave my face. "I just like being good enough."
"I seriously don't know why it surprises you every time someone tells you that." He leaned in closer to me. "And also, Morgan and I spent twelve years trying to figure each other out, and I never had the chance to figure myself out. You know exactly who you are, but you don't try to change anyone. Can you blame me for wanting that for myself?"
He pressed his lips against mine, and before we went any further, I pulled away for a second.
"Do you feel any better now that the water we're in is a little clearer?" I asked.
"Kind of," he said.
I looked over his shoulder, and there were two green things sitting on the other side of him. Our Venus flytraps? "Did you kidnap Blue and Racecar?"
"No, I won full custody of them in court, thanks to your addiction."
"What addiction?"
"Your caffeine addiction. It really makes the children miserable," Logan said, and I laughed.
It wasn't exactly how I had planned our conversation to go (and I even forgot to ask him about the name for the baby whale), but it felt casual and comfortable, and that felt much better than forcing out some I miss you speech. He and I had our own way of living, and I liked that way better than blowing a minor tiff out of proportion.
Sure, I was a bit awkward and had no idea what I was doing when it came to human relationships, but he didn't either. But as long as we liked the path we forged, what did it matter to anyone else?
As long as we liked it, what did it matter? Maybe I really should start listening to my own words.
Right, Rea. Right.
I picked up my laptop and put it on my lap. "Also, the other reason I came out to talk to you is that I need your help naming this calf. It's not in the system, so I think I'm the first person to identify it."
"I'm all out of names. You should take this one, and I'll think of something that could possibly top Swim Shady for next time," he replied.
I laughed. "Don't lie. I know you have a cheesy one that you didn't want to tell me."
He took the computer from me and read aloud as he typed. "Rea Loves Logan Talbot."
My eyes widened. "I, uh, I like that one, but maybe—"
Who else would ever see the whale's name? Like, four other people, and that group did not include Darrell.
I was horrible at following my own advice.
"You know what, let's just go for it. Press enter," I said.
"You sure?"
I nodded. "It's not going to hurt anyone."
Except for potentially me, but there were certain risks in life that just needed to be taken.
***
After we finished up the seal watch, Logan and I headed back inside, and I did my best to keep an obvious smile off of my face. I didn't think I was succeeding, but Logan always told me that I looked pissed off even when I thought I looked happy. This must have been the first time it had ever worked in my favor.
Everything was pretty great, and although I was hesitant to call it perfect, I didn't know what could possibly make my life any better. I was good enough, in the best place in the world, and had the most oddly satisfying relationship in the history of ever.
Darrell walked through the kitchen as we passed by, and he added a tally mark to his own chart. It was his first one ever, and I looked over at Logan, who didn't seem to care about this monumental moment.
"What did you do?" I asked Darrell.
"I didn't do anything. What did you do?" Darrell replied.
"As far as I know, I didn't really do anything to warrant a citation."
He added a tally mark next to my name.
"What's that for?" I crossed my arms.
"I'm just testing out my new pen. It supposedly is the smoothest writing utensil that's legally available in the United States, and I needed to know if it lives up to that claim," Darrell replied.
"Does it?" Logan asked.
Darrell nodded. "I never thought I'd feel love again after Mona broke my heart and ruined my project, but this pen," he paused for a moment, "this pen might be the best thing that's ever happened to me."
I smiled. "I'm happy for you."
Everyone was a little in love with something or someone, even if they pretended not to be. And as weird as it seemed, Darrell's love happened to be a pen. I wasn't going to judge him, though, because mine was the ocean, and was that any different?
Well, kind of, yeah.
Logan and I continued into the living room, and before I could even sit down on the couch to wrap up my whale identification, Brett came in and handed a box to Logan.
"Toby got the mail for us. He said that we need to stop ordering shit on Amazon because they don't deliver out here," Brett said.
"Oh, is that where Darrell got his—what the fuck is this?" Logan said, and he peeled something off of the box. It was a sticker of some sort, and he put it on the shoulder of my Kim Possible turtleneck.
I turned and moved my hair out of the way just enough that I could see what was on it, which was four words written in all caps. "For rectal use only? That's disgusting." I tore it off my shoulder. "Why was that on there? What the hell did you order?
Brett laughed.
"It's for you," Logan replied.
My mouth fell open. "Logan!"
Logan laughed. "I don't know what's up with the sticker, but this actually is for you. And it's not for rectal use only, so you can calm down."
"Okay," I said, and I took in a breath. "Then who put the sticker—"
Logan interrupted me. "Unless you were really determined, then you probably could—"
"Please stop talking," I said.
Logan smiled. "Gladly."
Now. Now everything's perfect.
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Hey everyone! I am super excited today, because I have finished all of my final exams! I now have more time to do whatever the hell I want (which is usually nothing, let's be honest here), and I'm actually going to start posting more. More what, exactly? More of this, the rewritten chapters of The Exchange, and my new book that you so kindly helped me name, One for the Road.
Now what's that book about? It's about a racecar-driving, loud-mouthed woman named Katie Moore, and the troubles she faces when her career doesn't go the way she hopes. I'm actually pretty excited about it, because she's from my hometown of Akron, Ohio, and she has a lot of the same problems that I do (and a hell of a lot more problems that I don't). I'm still working on the first chapter, but I've been planning it since I started Fluke, honestly.
But anyway, thank you so much for reading this, and I'm really glad that Reagan and Logan survived. I wasn't sure I was going to live, since I usually don't like writing romantically-charged emotions, but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Wow, that was way too long of an author's note. My bad. But what do you think is in store for Reagan next?