The Scars of Guilt
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Normal POV
It wasn't long until sunrise came, but everyone were still desperate in seeing their wounded friends. That is, the ones who were fatally wounded.
Nagisa and Kayano. The two of them were seriously injured, and were immediately brought to the hospital under Karasuma's guidance.
In other words, it wasn't just any simple and a plain hospital where you go when you feel ill.
It's a special high-tech hospital generally for the use of the government and a few selected people who can greatly afford its foundation. It's run by an American company and already has several branches all over Japan.
Anyway, just a few moments ago, the two were immediately brought to the emergency room, and the rest had to wait until the doctors are finished.
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While everyone was busy in their own thoughts, the light above the door of the emergency room became green and everyone perks up.
The door opens and came out two doctors—one was a male and the other, female—with blood stained on their lab coats. The both of them went to approach Karasuma and wore neutral expressions on their faces.
Everybody else tensed up. They were going on with expectations in their heads, but no one would ever think that other way, of course.
The two of them are their friends or close aquintances, but the doctors' expressions seems so nerve-wrecking that almost every one of them feel restless.
But suddenly, the three people were exchanging nods. Right after that, Karasuma glance over towards everyone and spoke.
"You kids stay here. This is a private discussion. But I'll report to all of you as soon as I can."
With Karasuma's words, everyone moaned in disappointment and were completely struck with a sad therapy.
Ignoring everyone's annoying tone, the doctors and Karasuma had already entered the emergency room, and there he saw Nagisa and Kayano lying down on separate beds with oxygen masks placed on their mouths and heart monitor tubes around their body.
Karasuma, then gazes back at the doctors and began saying a word.
"How are they?" Karasuma asked the two doctors with his usual death-glare on his face.
"We have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?"
"I've got no time to play with your little game. Answer my question properly." Karasuma only worsened his glare.
"Ahaha... Well, that's Karasuma for you." The male doctor chuckled but he quickly changed his expression into a serious one.
And finally, the doctors' words were heard.
"The good news is, we were able to stable one of their conditions. It wasn't totally fatal, but her brain was severely damaged so we need to run a high resonance imaging before she could start recovering." The male doctor explained.
Karasuma understood and assumes that the doctor was talking about Kayano's condition.
What about Nagisa?
Karasuma then went to ask about the other news immediately.
"And the bad news?"
The male doctor didn't say anything. However, he gazes towards his partner and motions his head to the side, telling her to be the one to say it.
The female doctor sighed at her partner's resort but eventually gives in.
"The boy. Nagisa was it? I'm afraid to tell you that he's in fatal condition." The female doctor expressed this news feeling a bit bad.
"How fatal is it?" But, Karasuma managed to stood ground and asked this question normally like he didn't hear what the doctor just said.
"Well, we ran some diagnostics on him after we patched him up, and there's been a lot of abnormal changes going on inside his body." The male doctor explained.
"His tissues were... well, more like of infected, but we don't use that term here. Don't we?" The female doctor continued what the male doctor had explained and corrects herself afterwards.
"Let's just say, his cells and tissues are replaced with weird... gooey... cells."
Tentacle cells?
With the vague hints the female doctor had given, Karasuma immediately knew what they were, but he decided to stay quiet with it in mind.
"We're still confused with what's going on with his body cells, but other than that, he still has a lot of problems we need to deal with."
"His body has lost 70.9% of blood, and at this rate, we won't know what we'll do with him." The doctors explained Nagisa's other situation.
"Hmm..." Karasuma ponders deep in thought. Glancing below the floor and placing a hand on his chin, he hums a disappointed tone but his slanted eyebrows still remained on his face.
Then, he brought his head back up and starts to ask another question.
"Is that all about his condition?" Karasuma, yet again, said this with a remained and calming voice and expression.
"Yeah. But, we just told you that he's in critical shape. Aren't you... worried, Karasuma?" The female doctor said this with a hint of a worrying tone on her voice.
"Of course I am. He's my top agent." Karasuma said this usually. No emotions or expressions found on his voice. There's not even a hint on his face that he is worried.
But maybe, deep inside him, he's panicking that Nagisa's condition might have been worse.
The two doctors glanced at each other with smug expressions on their faces but immediately washes them away as they gaze back at him.
"It's not too late yet. We would really like to recommend you to transfer him to another health facility." The female doctor said, yet she continues...
"Even with our equipment and everything, we still need to identify his disease. But it'll take us maybe a year or so for us to study it." She felt disappointed all of a sudden.
Then again, Karasuma ponders in thought—bending his head down with his eyes staring at the ground and his arms crossed in front of him.
He tries to think of a way to find a solution for Nagisa's health condition, even though he knew what exactly is going on with him.
Even if he did tell the doctors about what they were, they still don't have the experience to deal with it since tentacle cells are very sensitive and dangerous cells to tamper with.
So he thinks of another way to save him.
...
...
...
"How about going to America?"
Then all of a sudden, at the midst of Karasuma's thoughts, one of the doctors' voice filled him up and gave him an exact idea.
Yes, that's it.
"Are you suggesting that I should bring him overseas?" He double-checks the suggestion with a question.
"Yeah. That's what we highly recommend." Ignoring his partner's surprised gaze at him, he manages to answer Karasuma's question.
Karasuma thinks about it and finally makes his decision not too long.
"Alright. I'll oblige with your suggestion." Karasuma said.
"Great! Then we'll prep a transfer for you immediately." The female doctor exclaimed.
"It won't take a sec. Excuse me." Then she left the room in a hurry.
Ignoring the worried mobs outside the room, the door closes back on its own and the room became quiet again.
"I know it was just a funny suggestion, but, are you really sure? I mean, I didn't mean to—" But the doctor was cut off by Karasuma.
"It's alright. In fact, I probably need to thank you for bringing that up."
"Okay...?" The doctor raised his brows in confusion as Karasuma walked over towards the patients.
He notices that he was looking over at Nagisa, so the doctor mentions this...
"You know, it's not that we can't do anything. We'd really like to help you and the boy, but we just don't have the right equipment for what he's dealing with."
"It's okay. I know you're just doing your job, but this is our problem."
And besides, it's partly my fault he's like this. I should've known the consequences.
(Innocence51: Karasuma blaming himself? That's a first.)
Karasuma spoke with the doctor but he wasn't looking at him when he was saying things. He kept staring at the helpless boy, feeling a pit inside his stomach.
A few moments later, the doctor leaves the room. There was another commotion right outside the door, but Karasuma simply ignored this.
There is a right time for him to tell the others about Nagisa. But right now isn't. If he did, some of them would suggest that they'd come with him, which would be a small problem since he's transferring Nagisa to another special health facility.
He can't involve the others in the government anymore. Sure, four of his former students are already his agents, but it's for the best if he want to keep them out of danger like what just happened.
Hang in there, Nagisa.
He ponders into deep thought, thinking about how he would explain things to the people waiting outside. He knows it's a terrible thing to lie to them, now that they're very worried, so it's probably best to mix that lie with the truth.
It wasn't long until some of Karasuma's agents arrived and the two doctors enters the room once more.
One of his agents nods and Karasuma understood this.
"Let's go, Karasuma." The female doctor said.
"You go on ahead and take him. I still have a little explanation to the kids." Karasuma said as he walk past the doctors and reveals himself outside.
Instantly, he was quickly bombarded with questions. The rest of them were just restless that the only thing that matters to them is Nagisa's and Kayano's safety.
Karasuma calms them down eventually and started explaining. Though, it was a lie at first, except Kayano's condition, but as he continued explaining, it slowly became the truth.
The others didn't know about this of course. But as soon as Nagisa's bed was dragged out of the room, they bombarded him with another batch of questions.
Karasuma manages to stay on guard and answers their questions properly, but that only raised another batch of questions.
Until he was deeply annoyed, he stops answering their questions and tells them the truth. He couldn't keep it together so his plan about telling them about that someday is eventually ruined.
But he explained to them about the health facility being owned by the American government, so he should know that no one's going to mention about coming along.
Even Karma had his reasons. He really did want to come along, but he saw the notion Karasuma made at them before he left. He understood that it'd be a bit problematic if Karasuma brought along a group or an individual civilian to a military health facility, so he decided to stay.
Moments later, Nagisa's bed was loaded onto a cargo plane waiting outside the hospital airport. The whole class and the rest of Nagisa's students watched them from a glass pane, waiting for it to take off.
After one last glance at his former students, Karasuma boarded the plane and takes off a little sooner.
The plane launches into the air and gains speed as it escalates up to the sky and becomes farther away from the eyes of class 3E.
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Time Skip >>>
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2 months later...
The door opens and out came a tall red-headed guy with a lovely bouquet in hand. He greets the cheerful yet adorable popular actress who is still bedridden at the hospital.
"Mornin', Kayano-chan."
"Good morning, Karma."
The two exchanged greetings to one another, then Karma went to settle down the flowers in the bouquet on an empty vase.
The television was on which was adding a little background noise so that Kayano wouldn't get bored regardless of being alone.
Though just a few minutes later after Karma went inside the room, Okuda and Kanzaki entered altogether along with Sugino following them behind.
"Ah! You're awake! Good morning Kayano-chan!"
"Good morning to you, Kayano."
Okuda quickly rushed towards Kayano while Kanzaki followed by walking slowly and greeted with a gentle bow.
"Hey, good morning guys." Kayano greeted back with her usual smile.
"It's good to see that you're finally doing okay." Sugino walks over Kanzaki's side and spoke with Kayano.
"Thanks for worrying." Kayano cheerfully said.
"Oh yeah, we brought you some souvenirs. Would you like to eat them?" Okuda starts to rummage through her bag she was carrying and brought out a small can made up of cardboard with a plastic cap.
Kayano was surprised at what Okuda mentioned and looks over at the cardboard can with an astonished expression.
"Um, where were you guys been?" She managed to ask a question, but she happily accepted Okuda's gift.
After awhile, she didn't hear any of them answering her question. They were just glancing at each other with 'can't-be-helped' expressions on their faces.
"We... paid a little visit to Nagisa." Karma was the one who answered.
Kayano quickly gazes at him, but she soon takes them off and bends her head down with a sad smile.
"Oh, I see."
The others remained quiet as the television's airing trailers were the only sound that could be heard.
"How is he?" Then after a few moments, Kayano asked about Nagisa's well-being.
"He's never been better!" Sugino was the one who answered this time, and he was at high spirits as he answers her question.
"In fact, Mr. Karasuma told us that he'll be out in a few days!" Sugino notions a muscle as he continued explaining and everyone looks at him with relieved faces.
The very news made Kayano happy, but she soon frowned in an instant and bends her head down again.
Seeing her like that, they all became worried about her.
"Is something the matter, Kayano-chan?" Karma asked.
"Ah! Mhm~ nothing's wrong." Kayano perks up and sways her head in denial.
"That's right! How about we each take a taste of Okuda's souvenir that came from America?" Then she immediately switched the subject and starts opening the round cap on top of the round cardboard.
"Ah! Uh, yeah! That sounds a nice idea!" Okuda backs her up even though she knew that Kayano's only doing this because she wants to divert the mention of Nagisa, so she helped.
Switch to Kayano's POV
Afew moments later...
"Later, Kayano!"
"Bye, Kayano."
"See you later, Kayano-chan!"
The three momentarily bids farewell and disappears after the door closed.
I gently waved my hand before they left, and now, sadness overcome me once again.
---Crunch! ♪
Then all of a sudden, a sound of a food being crunched was heard. I quickly glanced to my side, and I found Karma still eating the potato chips which Okuda brought.
"Mhm!? ~swallow~ sorry!" Karma quickly swallows what he had eaten and hurriedly places back the round cardboard on the table.
"Oh, no! It's okay! If you like it, then might as well be yours." I said to him.
"Really? Then, don't mind if I do!" And there he goes again. Eating the potato chips with a happy expression as he continued eating.
The sight actually made me smile, but it soon turned into a frown again and bent my head down. This is the third time in this morning. Gosh, how horrible am I?
"Hey, Karma?" I loudly muttered enough and assumed that Karma stops at what he was doing as he looks at me.
"About Nagisa..." A few seconds of silence until Karma butts in.
"Don't worry. You'll see him soon enough. It might actually take a week or so, but I think it's worth the wait."
"Actually, that." Then I immediately cut in and looked at Karma this time.
"Hm?" He looks at me with a face saying he was confused.
Then allow me to fill you in.
"I'm kind of... scared. Like, I don't really want to face him as of now. In fact, I don't even know what I'd do when I do face him after everything that I have done." I gaze at my hands holding down at my lap as I said this. I realized they were shaking a little, but I ignored it.
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I nearly killed him, didn't I?" The very sentence stabbed a dagger into my heart but I managed to put up a front and continues.
"I nearly killed Nagisa."
"..."
Karma was speechless and blinks his eyes, or so I assumed. He must be surprised that I could remember what happened before my tentacles took over my mind.
However, I still continued to explain what I'm currently feeling.
"Knowing that, I don't know how to face him. I promised myself that I wouldn't hurt him, but I... but I..." My voice was starting to hold in as sobs came after and tears ran down across my cheeks.
I tightly gripped my hands holding on to the blanket, but after I was sobbing, Karma placed a hand on top of them and said something.
"It's okay, Kayano-chan. It wasn't your fault." The way Karma said this made me a feel little better, but the feeling of guilt was still too strong that I couldn't convince myself that what Karma said is true.
But thankfully, he continued.
"Nagisa did it because he wanted to save you. We all did." Karma made a smile as he continued to comfort me.
"Though, we weren't really a match, and well... you know, that happened. But Nagisa was stronger than any one of us. He was very desperate in trying to save you. During that time, I never saw Nagisa that focused and concentrated before. But knowing him, he's probably feeling that way because he knew that you were hurt, and he didn't want that."
My sobs are fading away and I don't feel my eyes building up more tears. The more I listen to Karma, the more I was relieved.
But he still continued.
"So you shouldn't blame yourself, Kayano-chan. Knowing everything, you were the victim. It can't be helped. So, try to forgive yourself, okay? If I was Nagisa and I was here listening to you blaming yourself, I would blame myself either because you're feeling this way."
That last statement, I can't deny it. I did made a smile and chuckled softly.
The feelings of guilt were finally washed away, but the scars of that feeling remained in me. But even so, after hearing Karma's prep talk, I could finally convince myself to forgive myself for blaming myself.
I start to wipe away the tears on my face, and made a genuine smile.
"Thank you Karma." I offered my gratitude.
"I'm... really glad... that you said those words to me." I continued wiping my face with my hands and fixed myself from all that crying.
"What, are you falling in love with me, Kayano-chan? If that's the case, I don't mind taking you away from Nagisa and be mine."
W-wait, what?!
"H-huhhh?!? N-no, you can't! Nagisa's the only—!!" At Karma's sudden words, I was about to say something weird. Thankfully, I managed to stop at my sentence, but knowing the fact that I was about to say that Nagisa's the only one for me, my face erupts into deep red, and I immediately covered my face.
"Hehhhh? Nagisa's the only, what? Come on, don't leave me hanging! In fact, I think the two of you would look perfect for each other." I feel Karma was getting more and more sinister as he expressed this with a lower tone.
"Why don't you just jump right off the gun and get married?" And he won't stop.
My face was getting hotter and hotter. I swear, it's like I'm having another fever! Damnit, Karma. Shut up!
"Pfftt... Ahahaha..." Then suddenly, Karma bursts into laughter. I look over at him with an embarrassed face and shouted at him.
"W-why the hell are you laughing?!"
"Sorry, Kayano-chan! You were just so adorable when you got teased! Ahahaha!" Karma kept on laughing.
I swear, I want to punch him.
"Damnit. How come you can still make fun of me after all that?" I said this while trying to get rid of the blush all over my face.
"Ahaha. Sorry, I'm really sorry." Karma eventually softens up and starts apologizing.
"Jeez. Why the hell are you teasing me anyway?" I made a pouty expression at him.
"It's for old times sake. You still remember it, don't you?" Karma started reminiscing.
"!?"
The flashback soon flashes before my eyes. It was 5 years ago where I was hesitating to give Nagisa a valentines chocolate. And then, Karma and Rio came along and were teasing me at first, but then they started helping me in how to give the chocolates to him.
The flashback ended and I was making thoughts to myself.
If it weren't for the two of them, I wouldn't have the courage to push myself and do something like that.
And that's how I understood why Karma suddenly teased me out of nowhere.
He's giving me a push, I know it. Since now I'm aware that I'm still a little hesitant in facing Nagisa, he did it so I could face him with confidence.
I want to say my thanks to him again, but I'm still overly embarrassed. So instead, I said the opposite.
"S-shut up." I covered my face with the blanket and stayed in there.
"Hmhmhm~" I heard Karma giggle. Well, that's a first. But really, I want to punch him for earlier.
---Ring! Ring! ♪
Then out of the blue, a ringtone from a phone rang and caught the two of us off-guard. But I still have my head buried under the blanket, so he didn't realize it.
"Excuse me, Kayano-chan." I hear Karma say that and stood up from his seat.
He walks across the room, and to my guess, he'll walk straight outside.
---Door Closes ♪
I knew it.
As soon as he left the room to answer the call, I immediately brought my head out from the blanket and gazed at the door at first.
I could still imagine Karma standing right outside, talking to the phone he's placing next to his ear.
After that, I glance towards my hands and I noticed my fingers were becoming a little red. Is the embarrassment still on effect? I can't believe it.
But I won't deny it.
Nagisa is the only one for me.
"Ehehehe~"
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End of Chapter 51