listen to the song i put in above this chapter it suits the vibe of this book so well 👉👈😔
***
"Can I have some caramel pudding with vodka topping?", Taejeon tilted his huge head, playing with his fingers cutely while his baby eyes got all innocent and Jungkook felt like crying just because of how fucking adorable his son was.
Maybe it wasn't completely horrible that it happened back then-
"Do you even know what vodka is, darling?", Taehyung asked softly, brushing through Taejeon's hair who still throned on the boy's lap.
"It's fun drink Daddy drinks everytime Mommy and he fight!", Taejeon explains. "So I don't want chocolate topping, I want fun topping!"
"I'm pretty sure that doesn't taste that well", Jungkook hummed, watching Taehyung and Taejeon being sweet as usually.
"But Daddy drinks it all the time!"
"Your Dad doesn't drink it for fun, Taejeon. Vodka is a bad drink, it makes you think differently, it lifts weight off your soul", Taehyung explained, glancing at Jungkook worriedly.
There were still huge sleeping bags beneath his eyes, smile worn out and his shoulders constantly dropped.
Nothing like he was some years ago.
"But that sounds like fun! Maybe if I drink it the kids at kindergarden won't be meanies anymore", Taejeon hummed, pouting his lips. Taehyung let out a sigh, eyes softening even more. "Who's mean to you, sweetie?"
"Everyone!", Taejeon complained. "And I don't understand why! I also try to be nice and fun! I even offered them to share my barbies with them but the boys don't talk to me, only punch me. And the girls say they don't want to be friends because I have a dingdong!!"
Jungkook frowned, tears almost coming up just by listening to that. It just sounded too familiar. Taehyung pulled the boy into a hug, kissing his head once. "I'm sorry Taejeonie", he hummed. "They're missing out, you're the best boy ever. I am glad I'm your friend", he whispered, brushing the boy's back carefully.
Taejeon sighed, "Hm."
Jungkook still stood in the room, not sat down yet after Jimin left, feeling like literal shit. "Do you want to switch to another kindergarden?", he asked softly. "I want you to be happy, nothing else."
Taejeon looked up to his Dad and shrugged, "Would it make you happy too?", he asked quietly, voice high-pitched and somehow sounding worried.
"Of course, I'm happy when you are", Jungkook gave him a soft smile, walking closer and sat down next to them.
Taejeon started to smile brightly.
"Okay! Daddy hasn't been happy in a long time..", he said slowly, glancing at Taehyung. "My Dad only smiles when he's with Taehyungie because Taehyungie brings happiness", Taejeon giggled and kissed Taehyung's cheeks. "That's why I love Taehyungie so, so, sooo much!"
"He does?", Taehyung smiled a little, glancing at Jungkook who looked away immediately.
Taejeon nodded, "Yes!"
Jungkook got up, "I'll lay down for a bit, I don't feel good", he mumbled and then rushed towards the bedroom, hiding the tears that kept coming up.
Taehyung's words, still clear as water inside his head, hurting every time he remembered how he laughed at Jin, punched him and made fun of him. It could've been him. And there were painfully many comparisons that obviously related to Jungkook.
Nothing ever made his heart ache like that.
Flashback - 7 years old Jungkook&Taehyung
"Good morning!!", Jungkook cheered, holding up a sandwich for Taehyung when he arrived at school. Tae's parents' driver took the kid to school every day. So Jungkook waited for them as usually.
Kook's mother leaned down, giving her son a soft kiss on his forehead, "Stay away from the meanies today, yeah? Promise Mommy you will stay away!"
Jungkook's eyes went big, "But they asked if Tae and I will play football with them today!"
His mother shook her head, "You know they won't play with you, remember last time-"
"Yes yes, I know they hit me with the ball but I asked if they won't do mean things again and they laughed and promised!"
"Kookie. Honey. Listen to your mother, maybe join Lyza for lunch, yeah?", she suggested. Jungkook rolled his eyes, turned around and smiled when Taehyung approached him. "Hello bestest person in the universe!", he grinned and gave Jungkook a small kiss on his cheek.
Mrs Jeon sighed, glanced around worriedly and then left.
Jungkook took Taehyung's hand, smiling brightly and happily.
"Kookie! Your smile is very pretty today!", Taehyung said, eyes sparkling every time he looked at his best friend.
"I wear the same smile everyday", Jungkook commented, feeling super smart.
"Explains why you're the prettiest boy ever", Taehyung's cheeks flushed red as they shyly intertwined hands. Their ways automatically led to the boy's toilets.
"Am I prettier than girls?", Jungkook asked. "I was thinking of wearing a dress so I can be as beautiful as them", he hummed, worried Taehyung would laugh at him for it.
But instead Taehyung's cheeks heatened up even more, "Oh, you'd look very pretty in a dress! But you're prettier than girls anyway!"
Jungkook giggled, dragging him into one of the cabins which they locked quickly.
"I'm waiting", he then said cockily, pouting his lips while he placed his hands awkwardly at Taehyung's waist. That's how they did it in movies, he simply copied it now.
"For what?", Taehyung asked teasingly, knowing exactly what they did everyday. Morning Routine, you could say.
"Morning kissies so our day will be happy", Jungkook said cutely, tilting his head.
Taehyung chuckled, then nodded, "But that's very wrong, everyone says that", he said while he leaned closer.
Jungkook nodded, nervousness growing inside his stomach, it always felt like their first kiss.
"Nothing can ever be wrong if it's with you", Jungkook said shyly.
"Is it because I make you happy?", Taehyung asked and Jungkook nodded.
"The happiest!", he voiced and then they pecked each other's lips for two seconds and giggled over it for a whole ten minutes, then left the bathroom smiling wider than they ever did before.
*
Jungkook laid down for half an hour, crying quietly while he pressed his head into the pillow.
And he would've continued doing so if the door wouldn't swung open and Taehyung and Taejeon walked in.
Taejeon hold a big bag full of sweets and unhealthy, sugary drinks while Taehyung had plenty of blankets, every Iron Man movie that existed and a bunny plushie in his arms.
"Surprise", Taehyung hummed softly and crawled into the bed, closely to Jungkook. Taejeon hopped onto it as well, forcing himself between them.
Taehyung put an arm around Jungkook, pulling him close while Taejeon took his seat between their bodies, snuggling to them closely.
Jungkook was definitely taken by surprise, and he honestly couldnt help but start crying again.
Taejeon turned towards his Dad, furrowing his babybrows. "We let you join our fun parties for once and you cry?"
Taehyung chuckled lightly.
"That's how your fun parties look like?", Jungkook asked, still sobbing but smiling at the same time. Taejeon nodded proudly, "Yeah, I always wanna do the cool stuff, Taehyung needs cuddles so we combine it since I'm his favorite cuddle partner", he stucked his tongue out.
"You only come second", he added proudly while Taehyung gasped. "Taejeon! What did we say before we came in?"
"Oh, right. I gotta be nice", Taejeon nodded. "Sorry Dad. You can have Taehyungie, I want Iron Man anyways. Taehyung's too young for my taste-"
"TAEJEON", both boys cried out, shocked by the kid's attitude.
"What." Taejeon lifted his brows. "Let me live!"
Jungkook sighed and then nuzzled his head into Taehyung's shoulder. Taejeon put the DVD in and then started cheering when they saw the first movie.
While the kid watched the film, Taehyung and Jungkook turned their heads towards each other and literally shared a look connected with a soft smile.
"You can kiss, I'll look away", Taejeon suddenly said after he caught them still staring.
"We don't ki-", Jungkook was about to say but Taehyung pressed their lips together instantly.
Taejeon sighed. "You could've at least warned me-"
-
It was already night when Lyza came back home. Taehyung went home, Taejeon went to bed.
Jungkook was laying in bed, stuffing his mouth with chocolate while he kept crying over everything. Why couldn't he be like everyone else? Loving the girl he had, enjoying being a college student and have fun with his dorky son. It could've been so easy.
If there wouldn't be one certain someone who kept messing his head up.
Every minute, every thought, every breath he took- Taehyung never left his mind.
What if Taejeon never existed?
Maybe they'd live together by now, living their best life in college and giving a shit on others. But then again, what would life be worth if there was no small man always cheering in happiness when he saw his father? As annoying as he might be, Taejeon was by far the best thing that ever happened to Jungkook and he knew that.
"Jungkook", a soft voice caught him off guard when he glanced up to see his girlfriend in a long coat, standing in the door frame. "Did you miss me?", she asked nervously.
Jungkook lifted an eyebrow, "W-what", he asked confused. "Yeah sure", he then quickly said.
"Why do you still have your coat on?", he then questioned but the girl only smirked a little.
"I was thinking~ If another girl gets to you, I maybe should just step up my game to please you again", she explained as she opened her coat, letting it fall down on the floor.
She was wearing nothing but black lingerie beneath it, her tiny body looking perfectly in this.
"Another girl", Jungkook repeated while he kept staring at her skinny legs that appeared so damn long right now. Had they always been so long? Did she always look that good?
"There's no other girl", he whispered as he sat up, admiring the view for a while. Lyza smiled and stepped closer, carefully sitting down on his lap.
"Do you like it?", she asked quietly, a little insecurity showing in her bright brown eyes that kept eyeing her boyfriend.
He nodded slowly, "I love it", he hummed, leaned forwards, placing kisses along her collarbones, leaving small hickeys while doing so. Lyza giggled a bit as her head fell back, her hand stroking her hair away from her neck so he had more space to kiss on.
And Jungkook did so while he grabbed her by her waist, laying her down on the mattress lovingly.
Lyza shut her eyes while she felt her boyfriend hovering on top, kissing down her body as his hands traveled up her thighs, stopping when they reached her middle.
The girl let out a small whimper, longing to be touched again after such a long time.
For a second, Jungkook hesitated but then he just went for it, pulled her panties down and leaned down between her legs, kissing her down there, softly licking her entrance.
The girl moaned out softly, arching her back a little.
Jungkook kept going for a bit until he was pretty sure she was ready for him. Slowly he kissed back up, gave her a sloppy kiss on her lips and then looked down at himself.
Nothing.
He gulped as he realised, even though he did nothing but focus on her- it didn't work. There was no bulge, nothing.
Lyza opened her eyes when she saw him hesitating. Feeling awfully embarrassed when he wasn't turned on even a bit while she was completely wet for him.
"Ugh", he groaned out and let himself fall down besides her. "Sorry", he hummed frustrated and ruffled his own hair desperately.
"Kook- Are you even attracted to me?", she asked quietly.
Jungkook stilled, not saying a word.
Lyza got it, nodded and then put her panties back on along with a pyjama. "Thanks, really."
Jungkook sighed, "I love you Lyza", he hummed.
"But you're in love with someone else", she only said and then got up, tears welling up.
The boy felt so bad for being himself right now, "Lyza, n-no. No. I'm sorry", he whispered. "I'm so sorry", he said again, now almost crying himself.
"Can you just.. go", she asked, hiding her face.
"Go to her. I wanna be alone tonight", she said and then rushed out of the room. Jungkook quickly put normal clothes on and ran after her. "Lyza, listen! It's not your fault, it's mine", he tried to explain but she only turned around and started yelling. "No, now you listen! I keep trying and trying and I don't know what for?! I'm tired Jungkook, I'm getting really fed up by you. You're obviously lying to me, honestly, it's so damn unfair. If you'd at least tell me that there's someone else, but you leave me in the unknown, thinking all the time who could it be?"
Jungkook laughed bitterly, "As if it's not obvious who it is", he only said and grabbed his jacket.
Lyza gasped, "Who?! Because I for sure don't know any girl you ever liked except for me."
Jungkook nodded, "Exactly", he whispered.
He grabbed his keys and was about to go when he suddenly got stopped by a small voice from the floor, shyly pulling on his sleeves.
"Daddy! Where are you going?", Taejeon asked, tears welling up in the small boy's big doey eyes.
"I'm sleeping over at my friend's dorm tonight, baby", Jungkook hummed softly and kissed his son's forehead.
"Is it Taehyungie's dorm again?"
Jungkook nodded slowly, glancing at Lyza while doing so.
And that's when the girl looked away, hiding the disappointment that came along with clarity inside her head.
*
Butterflies.
Tons and tons of fucking butterflies.
Jungkook leaned on the wall in front of Taehyung's apartment, gulping the nervousness down that somehow came up as soon as he arrived here that late at night.
He'd be able to sleep in Taehyung's arms tonight, cuddled in his sleep and kissed in the morning.
Fuck, Jungkook never felt more excited over anything else.
Taehyung would tell him so many beautiful things, he'd make him smile and he'd let the world appear so peacefully, life so easy.
Actually, the abilty to make life seem easy was rarely given to people. Usually it was limited to happy summer songs, sweet sun kisses in the morning or a day off college because of the heat.
Basically, everything Jungkook connected to easiness, to happiness was somehow related to summer. And Taehyung felt like summer.
His heart speeded up when he heard footsteps arriving at the door, unlocking it. It slowly opened and Jungkook's heart nearly skipped beats when Taehyung stood there in nothing but boxers and a huge sweater, hair a mess while he rubbed his eyes sleepily.
"It's past midnight, Koo", he sighed, stepped aside and let the younger in.
Jungkook couldn't stop smiling. His heart literally felt like exploding seeing him like that.
"You look good", Jungkook hummed, shyly pulling on his shirt, longing for a kiss.
"Thanks, can we go to sleep-", Taehyung mumbled, still half-asleep.
Jungkook chuckled lightly, Taehyung was adorable when he just got woken up.
"Sure", he whispered, intertwined their hands and then walked into his bedroom. Taehyung fell back down on the bed and then pulled off his shirt and gave it to Jungkook.
"You have more than one shirt-, you didn't had to put yours off", Jungkook said, highkey flustered by how caring he was even though he was halfly sleeping.
"You like it more when I wore it before", Taehyung hummed and then snuggled into his pillow, pulling the blanket above him.
Jungkook legit died inside.
"I really do", he admitted, cheeks pink.
He then crawled under the blanket as well, getting pulled into Taehyung's hug immediately.
They stayed for a while like that. Jungkook thought Taehyung must be asleep again already so he leaned closer and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you exist", he whispered quietly. Then he closed his eyes and pressed his head to Tae's chest, smiling brightly.
"You're the bestest person forever", he added, chuckling a bit.
"You sound like 7 years old me, Babe", Taehyung whispered, eyes closed but a bright smile formed on his face.
Jungkook instantly blushed, lucky him that it was too dark to see.
"I know you're blushing", Taehyung grinned and then finally opened his eyes and turned to look at Jungkook directly.
"Sshh", Jungkook voiced but Tae only chuckled.
"You're not just here to sleep, right?", he asked, placing small kisses all over his face. "You need somebody to love you tonight", he added and then kissed his lips longingly, the sleepiness fading away as soon as he felt Jungkook relaxing in his arms, enjoying the kiss to its fullest.
"Y-yes", Jungkook gulped.
"It's sweet how it's always me you come to when you feel the need of comfort", Taehyung whispered softly. "I can't say in words how much I love that I am the one person you find comfort in."
Jungkook smiled, "Isn't that what a best friend is for?", he asked.
Taehyung giggled, then kissed his lips quickly, licking his bottom lip softly before they melted into a longer kiss.
"Is that what best friends do to find comfort?", Taehyung teased. Jungkook shook his head, his lips already swollen from their heatened kisses.
"Nah, but maybe they should."
The older only laughed. "So, tell me. What happened?", he asked.
Jungkook sighed quietly, "She tried to seduce me with wearing pretty underwear. I tried to have sex with her, y'know licked her down there and stuff but I didn't get hard again", he groaned.
Taehyung's smile dropped.
"Why..", he seemed upset. "Why do you always try-"
Jungkook shrugged, "She's my girlfriend."
Taehyung nodded, slowly pulling away. "I-I..", he started but then stopped and stared at the ceiling. "I wish you would stop trying", he admitted sadly.
"Why?", Jungkook asked.
All he needed was a little something.
But Taehyung didn't know how to say it. "I don't know", he hummed. "I just don't like it when you're with someone else.. like that."
The younger gulped, did he just admitted his jealousy?
"I know you're not really mine but-", Taehyung said, "a-and she's probably better for you than I could ever be.."
Jungkook softly put his finger on the older's lips.
"Sshh. Don't make this whole thing more complicated than it already is", he pleaded quietly.
"Please", both said out of one mouth, meaning two completely different things.
***
i cant put in words how sad & happy it makes me at the same time to write this story?? like?? its so frustrating yet such a sweet story??