The next morning, I stay late in bed. I take so much time to dress that I'm not out of my room before noon. It's extremely embarrassing to face him with my current look, now that he saw me at night. Once I'm ready, I leave my bedroom.
He is fat asleep. He almost snores. I roll my eyes. He must be overworked or something and just need to rest for a few days. And yet, the villagers were already burying him. I nervously laugh as I make food. I try to keep it low but it's harder and harder. I rush out of the house and laugh to my heart content. I roll on the floor.
At some point, I find myself crying.
I hate it.
I hate myself.
I can't laugh anymore. After six long years, I can't hide it from myself. I know I'm not in the same situation my mother was. And she keeps being a model to me. But this curse is so heavy.
What did my ancestor? I could give my life to prevent this to happen. I don't want to feel this way. How could someone love me when I'm this old-looking? My appearance is disturbing. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to hide myself at night. Because I don't want to look like this in the daytime.
And I cry.
My eyes hurt.
My throat is dry.
My lips are chapped.
My hands are numb from clenching.
Eventually, I find myself looking at the sky through the trees. It's clear blue today, without a single cloud.
What should I do? I want to change. I mean, it's not only because a boy paid me a visit last night. I just want to live happily ever after, feel my youth how I should. What could I do?
My back hurts when I stand up and I slowly walk around the house, thinking. Is there any family's memory in this house? The Witch is always here, there must be.
I go home and silently walk through the main room. I climb the ladder in the corner as quickly as my old bones allow me. I don't care anymore about the "You deserved it" creed. If I want to find something, the attic is the first place I should look at.
I rummage through the boxes and chests. There are many books about magic, but I can't seem to find a clue. As I let out a loud groan of anger, I remember Aiden downstairs and listen carefully.
Noises. Coming from the ladder. Someone's climbing.
No.
I hide myself behind a stacking of chests.
"I heard you."
I bite my lips, upset over myself.
"Should I come look for you behind the boxes?"
"I don't want you to see me." I finally said.
-"As you wish then. I'll be in the opposite corner of the room. Can I help you with something?"
I gently laugh. "How much do you exactly know about me?"
"Well..." He sounds embarrassed. I repress my desire to see him and patiently wait. A few minutes pass by without a word. "I don't want to scare you."
"I am not easily scared away." I say with a doubtful frown even though he can't see me.
"As I told you last night..."
"You-you remember last night?" I cut him with a gasp.
"How could I forget? It has been quite a long time since I want to tell you the truth."
"Go on, then..." I says promptly.
"I already saw you a few times. At night."
"Did you tell somebody else?"
"No." He abruptly answers.
"How come you saw me a few times? I was so careful not to appear outside!"
"Apart from the time when you slept outside. And the few times you let the curtains opened. It was mostly at the beginning."
"I can't believe myself... My mother had told me to be careful since as the Witch I would attract attention all day. Didn't know you were the type to spy on someone though..."
"It was an accident!" He defends himself.
I don't pick up on him.
"At first..." He finally admits.
"Guilty as charged." I sneer.
"I was hurt! I had fought with my friends and was hurt!"
"You did mention it last night. What was the injury?"
"A broken nose..." He whispers after a few seconds. He opens a box and rummages through it. "A girl I had upset wanted to fight. I didn't see it coming but she had a great right hook. I may have been over confident..."
"So this was from that time."
"What was from that time?"
"Your nose. I saw it yesterday. It didn't correctly heal."
"Thank you for the notice. I was surely not aware of it..." His tone is upset and I curse myself for my lack of tact.
"I find it cute, I say without thinking."
An embarrassed silence falls on us.
"Forget about the whole nose thing, please." I whisper blushing.
"I have a selective memory. I'll remember only what I want. And I don't remember your last demand."
"Why did you come back?" I change the subject.
"I... I was amazed by your... Hum... I can't seem to find the right words. Your presence, maybe? Never mind, I couldn't believe my eyes the following day. I thought about you all day for an entire week. And I decided to come by again. I thought the Witch and the pretty girl were two different people, to tell you the truth. The first years I would look for you while visiting the Witch. The nighty you..."
My heart aches a little but I ignore it and look over a magic book hoping for at least a riddle to appear.
"After some time, I asked questions about you to my mom and the villagers. My mom really liked you, I must say. It was not really you though... I guess it was..."
"My mother. I never saw your mother. Why did you use past tense?"
"She died in her sleep three years ago."
"I thought... I thought she would have come to me was she ill. I am so sorry."
"Don't be. I mean, you lost yours too..."
"I wouldn't be here if not..." The bitterness in my voice surprises me and I'm left stunned for a few seconds. "Oh my, what did I just say? I don't want to appear cruel. I mean... It is true but I don't resent her or anything like that..."
I am lying. But I can't say it out loud. I'm ashamed of it.
"The villagers didn't like me asking questions. They were... They still are afraid of you. Told me you took your revenge on my indiscretion by going after my mother's life."
"What a bunch of insensitive halfwits!" I yell while loudly closing my book. "They forget everything we do since generations and can just badmouth my lineage. From their point of view, I may even be liable for their erectile dysfunctions!"
A burst of laughter escapes him. "What a lively reaction!"
As much as I am embarrassed by my remark, I gladly welcome his laugh since I find myself as insensitive as the villagers. I hide a sigh of relief. "It was not worthy of a dignified woman..."
"I like the ones speaking their minds better. I think it happened with that awful... no, that cute broken nose which lead me to you..."
"It is beautiful to find positiveness in everything." I tease without much credibility. "So how did you guess the ...girl was not the prisoner of the old hag?" An access of shyness had made me stumble on his description of the nighty me.
"The grandma I knew was not this kind of person. I was playing with her patience during each consultations. She never rejected me."
"I'm not that gentle, you know... I had no choice if I wanted money to live." I say while rubbing my forehead.
What am I playing at? What is my interest in telling him the truth? Drawing a line between us maybe... Preventing myself to attach myself if I'm not able to break the curse. It'll hurt enough to renounce to my true self, I don't need another reason to cry at the end.
"You had a shared habit. You rub your forehead when you are upset, just like right now. It wasn't my goal, I am sorry." He says shyly.
"You are oversensitive. Don't mind me that much... I'm tough! Keep on explaining me how I failed to hide my true self..."
"Truthfully, I wasn't really sure of myself until seven nights ago. I was around and made a detour hoping to see the nighty you. But I saw the daily you laying on the ground and I ran to you. I was afraid something had happened to you. And as I was checking your pulse, you started to change." He suddenly coughs and I hear him closing a book.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, it's nothing." I peak between two chests and see its red ears. I let an embarrassed cough in turn and focus again on my investigation. "I was looking for documentation at the library when I passed out. I couldn't sleep a wink."
"I had guessed it right then. You should take a better care of yourself." I am harsh and instantly regret it.
"What are we looking for?"
"Documentation about a curse."
"I had guessed it right too. You should have hide yourself better."
Return to sender. I smile knowing that he couldn't see me and accept the score.
"What do you know for now?"
"I look old during the day and I can't leave the house since my soul is embedded in it. Well I thought I couldn't leave it at all but I spent a part of the night outdoors without dying so I must miss a big part of the story. I don't know how this curse works at all. Am I really embedded in this house? Is there a security radius where I can find myself without risking my life? And who cursed my family?"
"We don't have much at hand. I'll look in this half of the attic."
"Fine with me. I'm upset at myself for letting you find out but your voluntary help is really appreciated."
He gently laughs and a little weight is lifted from my heart.
A few days pass by but nothing immerges from our investigation except a few interesting spells. We left the attic and started searching through the first floor. Aiden leaves during the day to work and finishes a little bit before the sunset. I am always wearing a veil when I fear to bump into him in the house.
It's now the end of another unsuccessful day of research. I had already turned every corner over. Suddenly upset and claustrophobic, I run through the house ate up by my state of angry uncertainty and pause under the porch.
"Relleis!" Aiden joyfully calls me as he comes back from the village.
I ignore him and go in the opposite direction. I just want to let this house behind me. I don't care of what'll happen anymore, I just can't anymore... It's too much! I'm... I'm suffocating...
"Relleis? No, Relleis, you can't!" His tone is troubled.
"I don't need your reminder. I don't need you at all!"
"Relleis..."
"Stop it with the pitiful tone! I am not joking. Leave." I go backwards inside the forest trying to make him understand my distress through my eyes. I am at least three meters away from the house when suddenly I can't move anymore. I am petrified. Something's digging into my throat. I struggle to breath and tears blur my vision. I try to walk to the house but I can't anymore. I feel a large drop of blood forming on my neck.
Aiden frowns and a new realization lights up his eyes. "Relleis!"
He runs to me and violently draw me to him. I fall against his chest coughing. He lifts my face to see if I'm alright.
"Trying the security radius seems to be really dangerous." He murmurs while wiping my tears.
He saved me. I need to thank him. It was stupid to run like that.
"Your neck is bleeding. Is this a tattoo? It's strange. The cut is just above it. And their widths are the same..."
If he were not here, what would have been of me? I lost myself in his eyes. I can see them clearly since I took off my veil during his absence. I need to thank him... A sudden realization hits me and I panic. My face is uncovered and he's looking at me...
"I always see the nighty you, you know..." He says when I quickly hide it.
"I doubt it!" I aggressively answer.
"Relleis..."
I run in my bedroom while transforming and let myself fall on the bed. I can't repress a few tears. I am discouraged. I never thought I would spend this much time finding nothing! My ancestors may not have been a bunch of docile and resigned witches after all. Some could have searched the whole house seeking a clue since they couldn't leave. It was so stupid of me to experiment the curse. What would have I done if Aiden were not here?The answer is simple. I would have died. And I didn't even thank him! Muffling the sound with a cushion, I growl.
Finally, my anger dies. I sat on my bed cross-legged, taking advantage of the night. Depressed, I stare into space. And now? What should I do?
I hush my melodramatic side telling me to patiently wait for Death to come and decide to eat. I'm hungry. And Aiden must be too. He's some sort of guest... I don't really know if he can feed himself. What are learning the young boys these days? Can he even cook something? No, it's my responsibility to feed him while he's here. Don't know how much time he will put up with me, after all.
Crack.
"Crack?" I repeat.
I look down to my feet and lift my right leg a little before putting it down.
Crack.
Frowning, I squat down to observe the wooden floor. A floorboard is moving. It was under the bed according to the floor's lack of color, due to the sun. I take the board off and I let out a cry of victory.
The diary of the Second Witch!