Tears slowly streamed down my face as I looked down at the blood razor. It was time for me to leave this world. This useless, horrible world. I've been saving it for years, and now it's time for others to do it.
The boys were out on a hunt, somewhere in Montana. Cas was out doing angeley business and this was about the time where I would call for Gabriel, my best friend.
Gabriel revealed to me that he was alive not to long after Lucifer "killed" him. Ever since us two got increasingly closer. So he would visit me every time I was alone, whether it was a few seconds or days, it didn't matter to either of us.
He was aware of my depression and anxiety, and he tried to help. But he just couldn't be there when I needed him. I didn't blame him, of course I don't, but I just needed to get away from this.
The razor slowly came down closer to my bleeding wrist. I sliced one more and didn't even wince from the addictive Pain. The blood was dripping on the floor but I couldn't find it in me to care.
My shaky hand dropped the small bloody razor, slightly dull from use. That's when my tear filled eyes landed on the small bottle of pills on the counter. I let out a small cry of pain as I felt my whole body fill with a never ending pain.
My legs gave out and my body slammed to the ground, my body leaned against the wall. I tried to stand but it hurt so much. My hand slammed on the counter as I searched for the bottle of relief.
It took me what felt like forever to open the small bottle. The pills rattled as I slowly lifted the bottle to my lips.
Before the bottle could touch me, a hand grabbed my wrist and yanked. The pills went all over the floor. A scream left my throat.
"NO! NO I NEED TO DO THIS!" I launched myself towards them but I was grabbed and yanked back into the bedroom.
The bathroom door slammed shut, locking me away from my small thing of relief. I threw myself off the floor and began to bang on the door, twist the knob, anything to get the door open.
But soon, I grew tired and began to slow down. Arms wrapped around me and I began to sink to the floor, they went with me.
"Shhhh. It's okay. It's alright. You're gonna be alright." The gentle voice of Gabriel filled my ears.
"Gabe please. Please let me do this." I begged.
"I can't, sugar. I'm so sorry but I can't." His voice was cracking.
"Please..." I begged.
"I love you so much, Y/N. I love you so so much. I can't let you do this." He rocked me back and forth on his lap.
"Please please please." I begged over and over again.
Gabriel sat there with me for a very long time. I wasn't sure how long but I wanted nothing more than to stay there forever.
"Please Gabe." I begged one last time.
"Hey hey hey. Look at me." He lifted my face and cupped it in his hands. "Why would you do this?" He whispered.
"I-I can't take it anymore. It hurts. It hurts so much. Please make it stop." I sobbed.
"I know it hurts. I know baby. I wish that I could take it away. But we'll work together on this. We'll work together and you'll be okay. I can't promise when or where but I know that I'll be there every step of the way." He told me.
"O-Okay." I nodded.
He smiled sadly and pulled me closer to him, continuing to rock me.
And I fell asleep with him whispering sweet things in my ear.