*20 years later*
A lot happens in 20 years. I mean, a lot.
When baby Parker James was five months old, I discovered that I was pregnant yet again. I loved being a mom to Parker, though, so I was overjoyed. Mothering Parker alongside Mason was relatively easy for first time parents, so we figured another could not be that difficult.
Then Evan Fredrick was born on August 9 2027. Raising Evan was not as easy as Parker was though. He was a naturally fussier child, and I got a taste of what most parents go through with newborns.
Mason and I didn't really mind; we loved Evan and Parker immensely. We agreed to have one more child, in hopes of having a baby girl, but we didn't get around to it until Evan was 2 years old and Parker was 3 years old.
That's when I had Ava Shawn Cooper, my beautiful blonde hair and blue-eyed baby girl, on March 19th. She was everything Mason and I had hoped for and more. As a baby, she was more like Parker, didn't cry so much and slept easily, but as she reached a year old and two years old, she became more like her big brother, Evan.
It was a few months before Ava turned 2 that Mason and I started to fight and argue over stupid shit, like laundry and dishes. Arguments began over things that didn't even matter enough to fight over and have Mason sleep on the couch over. I began to remind myself of my parents, and I hated it. However, I didn't do anything about it. I sat back for months and let it gross worse and worse, like my parents would.
Ava was a year and 5 months old when I found out I was pregnant again, unexpectedly. Considering mine and Mason's unhealthy relationship at the time, of course we fought about it. Of course I yelled at him for getting me pregnant when we agreed three was enough. He yelled back. It was ugly. The worst part of it all was that the kids were just in the other room, and I was officially no better than my parents.
After my first ultrasound and I discovered I was already 9 weeks in, Mason and I sent the kids to Anthony's and had an adult conversation. We didn't yell, point fingers, or argue; we talked — something my parents hardly ever did. We tried to mend our obviously broken relationship by attending couples counseling, but we quickly realized it wasn't us; it was the marriage. Mason and I were not meant to be. In the heat of mourning of Ian's death, we confused the difference between friendship love and real love, and it got too far. For years, we were able to channel all of our energy into our newborn babies; however, as they grew a little older, it became more and more clear that Mason and I had messed up by getting married, even if the four best things to ever happen to me came from him.
I was six months pregnant when we decided to separate officially. Mason didn't want to leave me alone in a house with 3 toddlers and a pregnant belly, so he temporarily moved into the spare bedroom.
Parker was the only one old enough to really understand what it meant when his parents stopped sleeping in the same bedroom. Going to preschool three times a week was also impressionable. He never would explain it to his siblings, though, to spare them the young heartache and confusion.
Elianna Ann Cooper was born on March 21st, only two years and two days after Ava. Mason moved out when she was three months old and would take the other kids during the evening most of the time.
The kids adjusting to their father, or myself, not always being around at the same time was hard, undoubtably. They were so young and already dealing with divorced parents. It broke my heart.
For the first couple months of the arrangement, Mason and I were strictly just the parents of four wonderful children. Then we began to realize it wasn't enough. Not only did our kids need us to be friendly with each other, I needed Mason. He was my best friend, above all. For the sake of our kids and the sake of ourselves, we fixed our relationship so we weren't just parents to the same children, but we were co-parenting.
Although the kids definitely still weren't very fond of the arrangement, it was obvious they liked this one more, where Mason and I could hangout and talk normally.
The birth of my four kids and my divorce with Mason weren't the only things that have happened in the past 20 years.
The city of Miami was unfortunate enough to lose yet another amazing soul, Mr. Fredrick Westchester. He passed away due to extreme health issues only three months before Evan was born. Considering the lifelong impact Mr. W has left on us, we made Evan's middle name Fredrick, after Mr. Westchester.
Shortly after his death, Caroline could no longer stand to be around the home that he had built. It broke her heart. She signed three-quarters of the ownership over to Mason, keeping only a quarter to herself. She moved North to West Palm to start her life with her husband and son, who is the same age as Elianna, to restore her mental health.
Anthony got married right after Evan turned 2 to a wonderful girl named Emma that is pretty much a female version of Anthony. I didn't think it'd last at first, but after seeing them together for 18 years, I know they are perfect for each other. They have two boys, Ben and Cade, who are 12 and 7 years old.
Kaila has been married for about 16 years to a woman she met at Westchester named Gianna. They eventually adopted a four year old named Saige, who is the same age as Elianna now. They are best friends, much like Kaila and I always have been.
Noah has been inexplicably in love with Andrea for years and years now. They have one child together, she is a 14 year old named Isabella Griffith. She is the light of Noah's life; he has absolutely adored her from the minute she was born.
Hayden and Penelope have been through some rough patches since Ian died. Hayden had gotten into some troubles involving alcoholism right when Penelope discovered she was pregnant with their first baby girl. He quickly made efforts to pull his life together for the baby, but his habits were too intense to shake that quickly. Penelope lived in the Miller Inn for the first four months of baby Gabrielle's life, hardly ever letting Hayden see her. Eventually, he was ready to be a father and husband again. When Gabrielle was three years old, they had yet another little girl named Nina. Desperate for a boy, they had one more child, and that was finally the case. They decided to name him Peter.
What about me? What's happened to me in 20 years? How am I doing after 24 years since Ian died?
Everyday has been a different battle, it seems like, but it's gotten easier. I don't really cry anymore, but I do visit his grave relatively often. I still miss him so much every single day. After Mason moved out, my mental health deteriorated. I didn't realize how much I leaned on others for emotional support until I was living alone with four kids, and they needed me to be their support.
Eventually, I learned how to survive on my own and be my own emotional support. Life started to get easier. I had wonderful kids who were happy and involved, a good paying job that I enjoyed going to, and an ex-husband-slash-best friend that I could always rely on.
If there was ever a time I was working extra hours and I couldn't take Evan to baseball, Parker to soccer, Ava to softball, or Elianna to dance, Mason would, without even complaining. If my mental health was causing me to stay in bed all day, Mason would take the kids to and from school, no questions asked.
When Elianna was 12 years old, Joel Addison moved back to town. His NFL career ended due to old age and he and his ex-wife divorced. She, apparently, whole-heartedly used him for his fame and fortune and abandoned Joel and their son, Blake, immediately following the retirement. Joel Addison was back in town, and I had never been so happy to reunite with someone.
We'd lost contact as life sped up on us, but it happens. Neither of us blamed it on the other. In fact, we hit it off and started to reconnect. It felt great to be back around Joel and finally be able to reflect the happiness to him that he had always provided to me.
Blake and Elianna, being the same age, were bound to hit it off or be totally uninterested in the other's life.
Joel and I have been married for roughly four months now, and I can conclude that they are just uninterested in each other. She avoids talking to him and he avoids talking to her. Mason says it's because he's a boy being introduced to her family 13 years late, but I think it's because she doesn't exactly appreciate that I remarried and welcomed him and his son into our home.
She's expressed to Parker before that she feels like it's her fault Mason and I got divorced, so it's not totally out of reach to think my way.
Never for a second have I ever blamed Elianna for my divorce with Mason. We started having problems long before she was born because of our relationship, not because of our kids; if anything, it was Elianna that pulled our family together. Just because Mason and I divorced, does not mean we were better together. That was something my parents never quite understood.
Overall, I'm happy with my life and everything in it. I'm so much happier than I ever thought possible when I was 23 and lost Ian. I thought that had been it for me, like there was nothing left for me to love in life, but I found my way. There is so much to love in my life, including Ian.
Ian Miller and I met 30 years ago. On the first day of middle school, I ruined his white shoes. I welcomed him to my table. That was the beginning of such a beautiful love story that 12 year old me had never seen coming. I loved Ian with all of my heart, more than I ever thought possible. I had thought relationships were unrealistic because of my parents and Anthony's incapability to maintain a steady girlfriend, but Ian taught me what it's like to love and be loved. I shared countless laughs, smiles, tears, and memories in general with him. If I've noticed anything in the past 20 years without Ian, it's that he is with us and he has been here all along.
•••
Wow...I finished this book the same day I finished high school...how absolute insane.
I am so proud of myself because of this book. I just think it's so well written and the plot is great.
But yeah, today I finished high school and it's all over now...time really does fly.
I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as much as I enjoyed writing it!
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- Emily
B.E. Better Everyday